The Tower of Procrastination!

August 16th, 2007 by | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“I think the thing to do is produce the best material you can, and on a regular basis, so that your readers know you can produce on a deadline, no matter what. Yabs showed editors, I was told, that I could hit a new idea each week, in a different ‘voice,’ and maintain a certain level of quality. A ton of editors read it each week, and a bunch offered me a shot. All of which I turned down, but that’s another story!”

— Gail Simone giving advice to Gavok

The other day I started cleaning my place, trying desperately to sort my DVDs, games and comics for the first time in about a year. There’s a chair where I toss stuff I had just bought that had gotten so ridiculously cluttered that I discovered barely-read magazines from months back.

Having finally sorted out all my comic trades, it was shocking how many of them remain unread. Some don’t really count because they’re collections of stuff I’ve already read as issues, like All-Star Superman and the first two volumes of 52. The real deal stuff I stacked into one big pile, guarded by an unbeatable team.

Gentlemen… BEHOLD!

The Sentry has the power of a million exploding suns, which is why everything is so glossy. Really. That’s why. Shut up.

I work at a bookstore and when I get paid, I use the option of having my check cashed on the spot. When that happens, I get high on my cash and want to spend immediately. This leads to too many comics and that neglected stack above. By admitting my problem, I hope I can finally push myself into making this stack lighter.

Here’s the what’s what of my far-too-tall tower. What are the books? Why did I buy them in the first place? If I bought them, why the hell haven’t I read any of them? We’ll start from the top and go down.

JLA: New World Order

Why I Bought It: I’m a man who loves his Grant Morrison and I have read a good amount of his Justice League run. It’s just that I just started a vacation from work, so on the last day, I checked to see what we had just gotten in. Quick read and cheap, so why not?

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Dude, I just got it yesterday.

Birds of Prey: Blood and Circuits

Why I Bought It: I guess you could relate it to that opening bit of the article, but part of it comes from me having lost touch of Birds of Prey. Like most DC comics, I hopped on for One Year Later, only to drop off due to suffering from comic overload. I did like the initial One Year Later arc for Birds of Prey, mainly because it starred Prometheus and I love me some Prometheus. Made sense to pick up the trade that took place right after it.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Again, I just bought it yesterday.

Green Lantern: Wanted: Hal Jordan

Why I Bought It: I don’t even know why I drifted away from Green Lantern, since I did enjoy it. I stopped following it in the middle of this arc, but with Sinestro Corps rocking my face off, I really need to pick up where I left off.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Yesterday is the day in which I bought this.

X-Factor: The Many Lives of Madrox

Why I Bought It: X-Factor is a weird series for me. I really, really like it, but I only realize that when I’m reading it. It’s like, picking the book up is a chore, but once I finish the issue, I want to read the next. Two minutes later, I’m indifferent. I decided that it was probably right to just wait for the trades instead. The last part I read was the Doc Samson therapy issue, which is where this one starts up.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Just got it the other day and, well, I’m just reluctant as always. Like I said, it’s weird.

Adventures of Spawn: Director’s Cut

Why I Bought It: I didn’t buy this one. They were giving it away for free at New York Comic Con back in February.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: The whole “I own it because it was free” thing is a bit of a tip-off.

Uncle Sam

Why I Bought It: Ever since flipping through Alex Ross’ Mythology, I’ve always been a bit curious about this book. I saw it at Comic Con and figured, what the hell?

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Between the moment I bought it and the moment I found it the other day, I totally forgot I even had it. No fooling.

Fear Agent and Criminal: Coward

Why I Bought Them: At the turn of 2007, the Batman’s Shameful Secret forum had a little thing called the BeSSies. It was our own awards thing for the comics of 2006. Fear Agent and Criminal were nominated for Best Science Fiction/Fantasy and Best Crime Comic respectively. When I saw them in at work, I decided to give the Something Awful folks the benefit of the doubt and pick them up. Plus Criminal is Brubaker. It’s got to be readable.

Why I Haven’t Read Them Yet: Lost my games of eeny-meeny-miny-moe for comics to read one too many times.

Animal Man volume 1

Why I Bought It: Morrison, baby. I’ve heard nothing but good things about this run and it’s so short. I think 52 was winding down at the time, so the yellow aliens got my interest up in reading this.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: I’m not totally sure. I guess I just bought it alongside Uncle Sam at Comic Con and they ended up in the same hiding place.

The Eternals

Why I Bought It: I never got into the Eternals. They’re just that one corner of the Marvel Universe that turns me off no matter what they do. Peer pressure and death threats got me to suck it up and buy this.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: I’m sure it’s worth reading, but I just haven’t felt up to it yet. Fucking Eternals.

X-Men: First Class

Why I Bought It: Jeff Parker is pretty rad. The few pages of this comic that I’ve seen (like when Xavier makes them catch ducks for the betterment of mutantkind) made me laugh and I was on one of my payday buying binges.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Other than that I bought it recently, no good excuse.

John Woo’s Seven Brothers

Why I Bought It: Definite huge buying binge here. Putting Woo with Ennis sounded too interesting to pass up and I recall hermanos digging it.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Looked over for comics that hit me as more interesting when pitted together.

Casanova: Luxuria

Why I Bought It: hermanos won’t shut up about this series and Matt Fraction rocks the body that rocks the party.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: I’ve been reading it, so nyah. I’m just not done yet.

Walking Dead volumes 5 and 6

Why I Bought Them: I picked up the first four trades at Comic Con and read them in over a day or so. Naturally, I’d get the next couple issues.

Why I Haven’t Read Them Yet: Halfway into 5, I felt a little burnt out on the series. Thought I’d wait for a couple more trades, regroup and read them bunched together.

Universe X

Why I Bought It: I won this back in February by tearing ass at the Comic Con Marvel trivia contest. Hell yeah!

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: I started reading this after finishing Earth X, but lazed off. BetterTasteThnU best described it with this sequence:

The 52 novelization

Why I Bought It: Thought I’d get it as a goof. If anything, it could make for nice review fodder.

Why I Haven’t Read It Yet: Started it, but it’s a bit difficult to get into a text do-over of something I’ve recently read in panel form.

Stray Bullets volumes 1 and 2

Why I Bought Them: Didn’t buy them. Got them as a gift when BSS did a Secret Santa back in December.

Why I Haven’t Read Them Yet: I read a chunk of the first trade and liked it, but then they ended up under the bed. Out of sight, out of mind.

Essential Defenders volume 1, Essential Power Man volumes 1 and 2, and Essential Iron Fist

Why I Bought Them: Essentials are pretty awesome and cheap, giving you a nice bang for your buck. I wanted to buy a bunch of them when I had an extra discount at work, so these seemed right to go with. Plus the second Power Man collection has the Mr. Fish issue!

Why I Haven’t Read Them Yet: Starting to read an Essential collection is easy. Finishing it is the hard part. I usually just read an issue or two, put it back on the shelf and return to it another day. Nothing wrong with that.

The Invisibles volumes 1-6

Why I Bought Them: Every June at work, we get an extra ten percent off our discounts for a certain weekend. I’m always determined to make this count. Last year (yes, year. I’m that lame), I did this and ordered the lot of these trades.

Why I Haven’t Read Them Yet: It’s intimidating, honestly. If I’m choosing between a trade of, say, Marvel Team-Up and the Invisibles, I think that even if the Invisibles will surely be better, I have all these trades of mindfuck to go through before having to read them all over again so I can sort of kind of get it. I have read me some Invisibles and liked it, but usually when I’m in a comic reading mood, I’m not in the right mindset to jump on this train.

Daredevil Hardcover Collections 1-6

Why I Bought Them: There are some runs that I’ve always wanted to read, but haven’t had the time to because of length. For instance, I really want to read JSA from when it restarted in the late-90’s on, but that’s just not on my schedule at the moment. I really like Bendis’ work and I hear nothing but great things about his run on Daredevil. When the extra discount weekend happened this June, picking these up sounded logical.

Why I Haven’t Read Them Yet: I have to finish breaking the barrier that is the first volume. People always say the same thing about Daredevil. The Kevin Smith stuff is all right, but things get great once Bendis takes over. It makes this comic seem like a big M&M. I want the gooey inside, but first I have to crack through the less delicious candy shell. Then again, I didn’t buy all of this to be read in one weekend. All in due time. I’ll keep telling myself that.

Whew! That was therapeutic. Now I feel more inspired to read these. Thank Galactiac I’m on vacation.

But if you thought this was bad, you should see my DVD collection.

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10 comments to “The Tower of Procrastination!”

  1. Am I the only person who LIKED Universe X? Yes, Paradise X sucked, but Universe X had so many great characters pop up that it’s hard for me to hate it. Potential spoilers ahead.

    Rom had to be my favorite, even though a few things seemed slightly off about his scenes. Eternals rocked, gotta love the Eternals putting Iron Man in his place. Also, Druig in particular is written extremely well, you can just feel the evil dripping from Gaiman’s pen. X-men first class is fun too. Gotta love Parker’s writing on any series he does. He’s certainly made Marvel Adventures Avengers the most fun I’ve had in years.

  2. I have to agree 100% with you on the Earth X series. I read Earth X years ago and immediately bought both volumes of Universe X…read over them over the course of a couple weeks. Decided that since I am a completist I might as well pick up the Paradise X ones too. I found the first volume, but the second one out of print. Just a couple months ago hermanos linked me a site that had it for sale…I said oh yea I have been wanting that let me get it. Got it, read it, and wish I hadn’t it.

  3. I think the worst thing about the Rom scene in that X book was the whole “Here, take the single most powerful weapon that my civilization has ever created, a weapon that has destroyed not only a planet but a star as well. A weapon that if fired by a non-spaceknight would kill the foolish individual that would dare attempt to wield it. Also, unlike the X-men, the Thing, the Hulk, Power Man, Iron Fist, or Shang Chi, whom I’ve all met, I don’t know you from Adam Warlock, but that’s okay, you’ve got a trustworthy face, so here you go.”

  4. Hey while that Kevin Smith story in Daredevil is just OK, David Mack’s Parts of a Whole is a very good Kingpin story with some nice action and the best Quesada art you’ll ever see (very surreal).

  5. I dug the Earth X, Universe X, and Paradise X stuff. They’re pricey trades, though.

    JLA – I got the trades just before or just after *gulp* selling all of my JLA issues. I couldn’t bear to be without those stories.

    BOP – I think I’ve read that tp. I’m less familiar with the trade names, but I think the only one I’ve not read is the most recent.

    GL – I’ve not been too excited by Hal. Returning from the dead and whatnot was interesting as it was a transition thing. I guess the status quo stories don’t really move me. I’m not quite prepared to say that’s a Hal thing. Maybe it’s a Johns/Hal thing? I’m not even sure who’s writing it. I bought the first hc b/c it was marked down at a convention.

    XF – I feel exactly like you do. Once I start reading X-Factor, I enjoy it. When I look at the covers, though, I’m not filled with enthusiasm. It’s cover-excitement that gets me, a lot of times.

    Eternals – I’ve got a fondness for the characters, so I couldn’t resist seeing them all shiny and purdy with updated costumes. The story was okay, but I love the book for more than the story. Different geek genes.

    Uncle Sam – Felt like a history lesson mixed with a civil rights rally. But it’s Alex Ross, so shut up, me!

    I’ve got quite a list, myself. Do Marvel’s comics on dvd count? If so, then the list is even higher.

  6. Sentry REALLY looks like a gap in your defences.
    Replace him with ROM, Godzilla, or the Hulk.

  7. Geez, I re-read Earth/Universe/Paradise X every year or so when plowing through my comics. Am I the only one to buy those as singles? I like it all right, but I think I bought them more out of inertia than anything.

  8. We can only assume that ROM watched Cap in action, realized who he was and made the choice based mostly on Cap’s rep. What surprised me most of all about the scene was that Cap knew who ROM was on sight. Oh well. To me the major problem with Paradise X is that they recycled a villian. Not telling who because that would spoil it obviously. Actually, in retrospect some of the finest moments in Universe X were in Universe X: Spidey and Cap. Both in the trade I’m sure, particularly given how important Universe X: Cap is to the overall story.

  9. Good point. No one alive on earth has seen Rom without his cyborg armor.

    Except that one russian scientist dude and even then Rom looked like a rotting zombie at the time.

  10. Sorry to open up an old sequence of posts, but I thought I’d just point out that anyone who went to RICK JONES’ wedding to Marlo (Incredible Hulk # 418) would have seen ROM there without his armor.

    Captain America was definitely there, as evidenced by the HILARIOUS bachelor-party issue (Incredible Hulk # 417).

    Long story short; ROM was one of the many who received an invite to the wedding (many heroes and villains from ALL over the galaxy received invites)…
    He is there with Brandy (his wife) and is greeted by Rick, so it would stand to reason that he “mingled” around and was introduced to other friends.

    WHO sent invites to friends AND foes alike?
    That would be telling.

    OK. Impossible Man.
    To stir up trouble.
    Just for laughs.

    Damn that Impy.