Here’s our final round for the issue. Yesterday, Captain America and Hawkeye fought Sabretooth and Multiple Man to their hearts’ content. This story is going to have to move real quick if it’s going to wrap up in three pages. Good thing we have Quicksilver.

And that’s the end of that, at least for a couple weeks. As always, thanks go out to my imaginary friend ManiacClown. Thanks also to all of you who read this, enjoy it and make the effort to get others to read and enjoy this. Yes, Virginia. You can polish a turd.

Ultimate Edit Week 3!
Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

Welcome back. Previously on Ultimate Edit, Thor was seduced into fighting Valkyrie and Iron Man gave Blob a ride to the bus stop. That’s about it. We’re almost at the end of the issue, but for now, let’s have another moment with Captain America and Hawkeye.

This one had a lot of stuff cut out. ManiacClown really wanted to drive home the whole Sabretooth/Triple H comparison, but I didn’t think too many people would get it. I was going to have Captain America tell Sabretooth, “Tigger, please!”, but it was too forced and really didn’t go well sandwiched between hermanos’ whole Black History Month fiesta. And ManiacClown wanted Hawkeye to really, really hate apples for whatever reason.

We finish off the issue tomorrow, so I know you don’t want to miss that fun.

Day Seven!

Me and ManiacClown are back for another go. Last time, Tony Stark was really drunk (surprise) and Mystique tried to kill him by pretending to be Black Widow. What a stupid, stupid plan. The more I think of that plan, the worse it is. Of all the people to be, why a dead traitor who last tried to kill the guy you’re trying to seduce? At least if she was Captain America or a pizza delivery man, she’d have an outside chance of fooling someone who wasn’t drunk. At least that scene gave us Iron Man’s “sober enough” panel, which I admittedly thought was kind of cool. Now on with the show.

Join us tomorrow, as Captain America learns it’s time to play the Game.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

And we’re back. In yesterday’s installment, Quicksilver showed up to show off Scarlet Witch’s dead body, vikings had sex and something exploded. Sounds like a full day. Now we see what Iron Man’s up to. Fun fact: Tony Stark makes you feel he’s a cool exec with a heart of steel. And if you’re a woman, Tony Stark makes you feel other things.

Thanks to ManiacClown by having me take the high road with masturbation jokes. See you tomorrow.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

If you forgot about yesterday already, here’s the gist of it: Hawkeye and Captain America proved their worth in protecting the innocent by drugging an innocent Spider-Man, threatening to kill him and then leaving him to die alone in the snow. But if you want a real recap, you’re in luck.

Thanks to ManiacClown, who wrote a huge chunk of this one. And thanks to John Rambo, for killing half a continent over the course of 90 minutes. I salute you.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

In our last installment, Hawkeye just kind of showed up like a jerk and shot at Spider-Man. Spider-Man realizes that the only way to counter an excessive amount of sound effects is his own assortment of too many sound effects. Let’s watch!

Thanks to ManiacClown for sharing my burden of being constantly confused for MightyGodKing.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

What, you don’t think we forgot about this, did you? It’s another week of fun at 4th Letter with a brand new issue of Ultimates 3 to deal with.

If you missed the last issue, um… hm. The recap isn’t for another few pages. Bear with me. Here, just read this stuff about Spider-Man. You kids love Spider-Man, right? I promise, no Mephisto jokes.

Thanks again to ManiacClown for reminding me that most of the readers either don’t watch wrestling or are too young to get a Junkyard Dog/”THUMP!” reference.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

In yesterday’s installment, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch shared a tender moment until a bullet came out of nowhere and mortally wounded Scarlet Witch. How awkward. Let’s finish off Ultimates 3 #1 with the latter half of this heartbreaking scene.

I was going to make note of it in the image itself, but on the last page, isn’t that the dude from Naruto? You know, the ninja guy in blue who always looks like he’s stoned? He’s standing next to the woman with the umbrella telling him, “See? I told you Wanda Maximoff didn’t wear panties.”

And that’s the end of that. Thanks again to my collaborator ManiacClown, who will be doing prop comedy at the Laugh Hall in Trenton all this week. Maybe we’ll be back for another go in a month.

Thanks for reading, folks.

Ultimate Edit Week 2!
Ultimate Edit Week 3!
Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

On the Fifth Day of Ultimate Edit, my true love gave to me: something stupid about Twinkies. I don’t know. We’re almost done here. Here’s the first half of the issue’s final scene, involving Magneto’s embarrassments.

On another note, ManiacClown really, really wanted me to insert a reference to Ghetto Man into this segment. I ultimately said no because it didn’t come off right and few would get the joke. I think it’s the least I can do to take a second and link you fine folks to Ghetto Man roasting the Justice League, featuring Ed McMahon.

We’ll finish it off tomorrow.

Day Seven!

Yesterday, the big Venom fight had come to a conclusion, Wasp and Hawkeye got at each other’s throats and everyone’s favorite Alabama prom couple copped attitude at Captain America. Now we got a lot of talking. Sorry. The next three pages aren’t the most exciting.

Just want to make a note that some people have missed. Neither me nor ManiacClown are the guy that did the famous Civil War parody. That was MightyGodKing. I appreciate the compliment, though.

More fun on Monday.

Day Six!
Day Seven!