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The Summerslam Countdown: What’s the Holdup?!

August 14th, 2011 Posted by |

Yeah, so as it is right now, I have Day Seven of the countdown ready and done, but I still have to proofread it and all that. Considering I won’t be able to get to that until after I get home from watching Summerslam with my friends and… well, the fact that there are eleven entries in total, I can officially say that I have shit the bed on this. Again. My apologies. I took too long watching the shows, didn’t get any head start whatsoever and between this and my job got burned out very quickly. No matter, for the four people still reading these things, I’ll have them up and done over the course of the next week.

In the meantime, Bearnt!, who has uploaded a bunch of various clips onto YouTube for me finally found this holy grail of wrestling promos that I’ve been wanting to rewatch since Randy Savage died. It’s from the lead-up of Wrestlemania X. Randy Savage had a match with champion Yokozuna and had it in the bag until Savage’s rival and former friend Crush came in to stop him. The hatred between the two has become so heated that they aren’t allowed to coexist in the same locker room area.

That may be my favorite wrestling promo of all time.

Stay tuned tonight for Summerslam Countdown: Day Seven and This Week in Panels: Week 99.

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The Summerslam Countdown: Day Six

August 11th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

With Summerslam just a couple days away, it’s not hard to notice that there are so few matches announced. One of those guys who has nothing going on is the Miz and that brings up an interesting pattern. See, the Miz has never wrestled a single Summerslam in his entire WWE career. Check it out.

2011: Rey’s injured, so the possibility of Rey vs. Miz is down the tubes. Will most definitely appear on the show in some way, but having a match is up in the air.
2010: Was going to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase, but decided not to as he would be joining Team WWE in the main event. Was going to wrestle in the main event, but Cena had him replaced with Daniel Bryan.
2009: Got fired and banned from Summerslam (Summerfest?!) by one of the guest Raw General Managers.
2008: Even if he and Morrison were still tag champs, it wouldn’t matter. The only tag match on the show was a mixed tag.
2007: Is too busy feuding with Balls Mahoney to be of any importance to the big picture.

The dude just can’t catch a break. I’m pretty sure that the Hurricane never got a Summerslam match either, which is kind of weird. See, the big DVD box set of the first 20 Summerslams are split into four packages and each package has this awesome collage of stuff from those five years. Stuff like posters, Dibiase angrily pointing, Cena punching Jericho, Diesel and Michaels posing, etc. One of them features, rather prominently, a picture of a guy in a Hurricane mask in the corner. I don’t remember seeing such a thing and I can’t remember the Hurricane doing anything of note, let alone appearing, yet there it is.

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The last Stephanie Batgirl: Issue #24 Play-by-Play

August 10th, 2011 Posted by |

Ah, it’s been a tumultuous two years.  Lets have a look at how it all turned out.

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The Summerslam Countdown: Day Five

August 9th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

So I’m watching last night’s Raw and I’m thinking about this whole CM Punk/Cena angle and it hits me.

– CM Punk is a guy who felt the need to retire.
– CM Punk unretired because he feels he’s needed and has an obsession when it comes to beating people up while wearing tights.
– He’s sick of an unbeatable, wholesome, insufferable superhero of a man who appears to be a tool for the system.
– His actions lead to a massive cult following with people dressing like him and pumping their fists in the air in his name.
– For standing in the face of the system and going too far, they end up sending that unbeatable super dude after him.
– CM Punk feels that they could have changed the business, but he’s a political liability and John Cena… John Cena’s a joke.
– In his most private moments, John Cena will have to remember the one man who beat him.

In other words, the CM Punk angle is Dark Knight Returns.

“The rest of us learned to cope. The rest of us recognized the danger – of the endless envy of those not blessed. Jericho went back to his band. Brock went to the octagon. And I have walked the razor’s edge for so long… But you, Punk – you, with your wild obsession.”

“I will never forget Colt Cabana. He was a good soldier. He honored me. But the war goes on.”

NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART!

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Frank Miller Owns Batman: “i rushed it. i blew it.”

August 8th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: ,

Jim Lee and Frank Miller’s All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder is the best Batman story to come out of DC in years. It’s only rival is probably David Lapham and Ramon Bachs’s Batman: City of Crime.

So far, we have most of a Batman. We have the thirst for vengeance that birthed him, the will that powers him, and the rich inheritance that provides his means. Right now, at this moment, we have the makings of an urban legend and a night terror. Cops and criminals both know and fear him, as well they should, and the citizenry knows that there’s a dark angel waiting in the shadows to protect them. The specifics of his mission, and by that I mean the brutal violence, probably aren’t clear to John Q Public, but the fact that he exists and is fighting back is enough. There is someone out there with a spine, and he is on our side.

The problem, though, are those specifics. They get the job done, but they’re far from pleasant. They give us a Batman who is a little too hard-edged, a little too happy about getting to do some damage, to be a comic book superhero. The Batman’s methods must be tempered just a little. Right now, he’s a shadow who lurks among shadows. The problem with that is that there’s no difference between one shadow or another. One shadow can hold pain or pleasure, and you won’t know which is which until it’s too late. While it’s clear that the Batman is a benevolent shadow, there’s nothing to suggest that he won’t become one of the other, darker shadows at some point in time.

Enter: Robin.

The appeal of Robin is three-fold. He provides a character for young boys to relate to, a fact that is increasingly irrelevant as time goes on. He brightens Batman’s methods, turning him into a four-color hero instead of a bastard child of The Shadow. Finally, he provides a fix for Bruce Wayne, whose development was not stunted as a result of his parents’ murder, but rocketed off in a different direction. We played with toys. He played detective.

It wasn’t the death of his parents that turned Bruce Wayne antisocial. It was the quest that followed. He wanted to become the greatest detective slash crimefighter ever, and that quest has very little room for proms, high school, and the standard socializing everyone else does. The death of his parents changed how he views the world. Everything is either a tool for his war or irrelevant. This doesn’t preclude Wayne maintaining relationships, but it’s clear that his deepest relationship is Alfred, who was swept up in his quest and has merely managed to hang on for dear life while enabling the child.

Bruce Wayne grew up, but he didn’t grow up like we did. You can see it in the romantic relationships he pursues as an adult (which generally have built-in trapdoors like “she’s a villain” or “i can never tell her my secret”) or his treatment of Jezebel Jet (where he claims to have turned love into a weapon). He has used a long string of starlets and debutantes as cover for his mission–beards, essentially–without a care for how they would feel about it. They, like everyone else, are tools. WayneCorp, or Enterprises, or whatever, is a tool, too, something that lets him fight his war. Everything is either a weapon, a threat, or not worthy of attention. (More on the subject here, pulling in the idea of a Real Man and examples from Richard Stark’s Parker novels and Lone Wolf & Cub)

Robin is what changes that. Early in All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, Batman refers to grief as “the enemy.” He goes on to say that “there’s no time for grief. There’s no room for grief. Grief turns into acceptance. Forgiveness. Grief forgives what can never be forgiven.” Batman doesn’t think that there’s any room for acceptance in his war. He’s driven by anger at the unfairness of life. If he’d taken time to accept what happened, then he wouldn’t have the edge that has made him so successful. He’s a child lashing out after being hurt. It’s just that his way of lashing out is stretched out over a long period of time than a thrown punch or pitched fit.

As a result, though, he pushes a twelve year-old kid too far, too soon. If you don’t address these emotions, they’ll rot and fester inside of you. Batman had years to work through his issues, and he did so thanks to Alfred and the dozens of masters he learned his craft from. He didn’t not-grieve–he just grieved in a different way than most people did. He accepted that his parents were gone when he began fighting his war to ensure that no one else’s parents would die that way.

Robin didn’t have that, and nearly killed Green Lantern as a result. The anger and poison was bubbling just below the surface, and when pressed, it spilled over. You have to release negative emotions somehow, and Batman’s mistake was assuming that what worked for him would work for someone else. More than that–Batman’s mistake was thinking that what worked for him actually worked for him.

He drives Robin to his parents’ grave and tells him, “Find them. Say goodbye.” Put differently: “Grieve.” Robin hits the gravestone, a symbol of his dead parents, and collapses. Batman’s hand drops on his shoulder and they both cry in the rain, next to Robin’s parents. “We mourn lives lost,” Batman’s monologue says, “including our own.” They’re damned, or maybe just lost, and there’s no going back from here.

This is the moment when Bruce Wayne turns from the Bat-man, a fearsome creature of the night, to Batman, a superhero with a cheerful kid sidekick. This forces Batman into the role of nurturer, as well as avenger. He can’t proceed along his path any more. It may not be self-destructive, but it is definitely damaging to a third part that’s as close as Robin. He has to change, he has to adjust, because otherwise he damned this child for nothing.


(this is one of my favorite batman scenes, i think.)

Batman is an homage to Thomas Wayne. Batman and Robin, or maybe just Batman’s treatment of Robin from here on out, is an homage to Martha Wayne. Batman has to become a father, instead of just a Dark Knight, and that means that his mother’s mercy is going to play a bigger and bigger part in his life. It shifts his quest from pure vengeance into something more. It’s a splash of love, a love that he’d been keeping at a distance to keep his sword sharp, in a war that sorely needed it. “The greatest of these is love,” right? Robin pulls Batman out of the shell he’d built around himself and into normal humanity.

Robin is the secret to building a better Batman.

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Fourcast! 94: Foodcast!

August 8th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , ,

-Two books, two podcasters!
-I’m talking about John Layman and Rob Guillory’s Chew, which you can read here
-Esther is talking about Aimee Bender’s The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake
-The two books are thematically related, I figure, under the umbrella of “secret truths revealed through food.”
-It’s an interesting connection, and Bender’s book sounds pretty neat. Chew, of course, is something I buy monthly.
-Check both out.
-6th Sense’s 4a.m. Instrumental for the theme music.
-Here comes a new challenger!
-See you, space cowboy!

Subscribe to the Fourcast! via:
Podcast Alley feed!
RSS feed via Feedburner
iTunes Store

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The Summerslam Countdown: Day Four

August 8th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , , , , , ,

Um… hm… This post is late as it is and I’m still having trouble figuring out an intro to show before the link jump. Lesse…

Austin Roll it is!

Austin discovering the beauty of the internet is an exhibit of evidence that God exists.

Now back to the regularly scheduled list.

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This Week in Panels: Week 98

August 7th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , , ,

Welcome, folks! I’m joined by Was Taters, Boco T and Space Jawa. Due to an email snafu, Jawa has both this week and last week’s Ultimate Fallout issues. Just so you know, if anyone out there feels that their favorite comics aren’t represented on ThWiP, by all means, join in. The more the merrier. Just remember the guidelines:

– Try to whittle the entire issue into one panel. Something that gives you a good sell on what it’s all about.
– Splashes that fill an entire page or two don’t count.
– Don’t spoil too much. If the comic is about Wolverine fighting Daken, don’t show a panel of Wolverine standing over a defeated Daken. Something where they’re running at each other with their claws out makes more sense.
– Try not to take anything from the last page.

Send any panels to jaguartooth (at) gmail.com before Sunday night and you’re gravy.

Avengers Academy #17 (Gavok’s pick)
Christos Gage and Sean Chen

Avengers Academy #17 (Boco T’s pick)
Christos Gage and Sean Chen

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The Summerslam Countdown: Day Three

August 6th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Yesterday, WWE released a handful of wrestlers. There’s Gail Kim, who just eliminated herself within seconds during a Diva battle royal just because she wanted to see if anyone would notice. Then there’s Melina, who I wouldn’t mind not having to see ever again. David Hart Smith is gone and… yeah, that was a long time coming. Then there’s Chris Masters, which is the biggest shame because the dude actually went to Japan to improve his craft only to get completely underpushed. Seriously, he’s good in the ring these days!

The one that wounds me the most is the loss of Vladimir Kozlov. Sure, he isn’t the best wrestler by any stretch, but I enjoyed him for the most part regardless. Here is his finest moment.

Second best moment is when he dramatically delivered the line, “Then it is settled. Next week I get what I want… OR I will destroy MacGruber.”

Oh well. Maybe he can go back to Baltimore and work with the Greek again. What? You didn’t know he showed up on the Wire for like two seconds?

Anyway, the list.

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The Summerslam Countdown: Day Two

August 5th, 2011 Posted by | Tags: , , , , , ,

I guess before I continue the list, I should do some kind of filler intro thing first. Maybe on a later day I’ll go through the matches of this year’s show or whatever. I can’t really think of much in terms of Summerslam trivia outside of an interesting factoid I noticed involving Hulk Hogan. Basically, Hulk Hogan is not only undefeated, but he’s never had a single title match his entire time at Summerslam. Check it out.

Summerslam 88: Is in a tag match with champion Randy Savage against Andre and Dibiase.
Summerslam 89: Hogan is champ, but he’s in a tag match with Beefcake against Savage and Zeus.
Summerslam 90: Singles match against Earthquake while Ultimate Warrior is champ.
Summerslam 91: Is champ again, but he and Warrior are in a tag match against Slaughter and his cronies.
Summerslam 05: Is brought in for the dream match of Hogan vs. Michaels. Neither one is champ.
Summerslam 06: Is challenged by Randy Orton. Again, neither one is champ.

Now that I think of it, Ultimate Warrior’s undefeated at Summerslam too. Hell, he even showed up more often than Hogan until all the post-WCW hoopla.

Good, that filled up enough space. Back to the list!

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