Gavok’s New Years Resolutions for 2008
January 1st, 2008 by Gavok | Tags: badass, carnage, funnybook babylon, ign, matt fraction, mf grimm, monarch, movies, rap, sentences, spider-man, venom, watchmenAs if you didn’t know, 2007 is over and done with. It’s a new year and a time to access the future. It’s time to come up with goals and hopes for 2008 and to plan for the next 365 days. Here are my New Years Resolutions:
– I resolve to finally write that series of articles about Venom’s bizarre history as a comic character, featuring such things as Venom and Carnage fighting inside the internet and the guest appearance of cyber-ninja Mace, the most forgettable shoe-horned superhero I’ve ever seen. Okay, I remember him, but that’s not my point.
– I resolve to lose about 20 more pounds. Funny thing, back before I decided to go on a diet months ago, I was going to start a ridiculous internet campaign for me to play the part of Seymour from the very end of Watchmen. So when you do watch that movie in theaters and you see that chubby guy reaching for a journal, remember to reflect on what could have been. I know I will…
– I resolve to continue to get on Wanderer’s case for never writing anything for the site. Then I’ll get depressed when I remember that he has about 29 legitimate writing jobs and I just work retail.
– I resolve to read and review every single comic starring Mr. T.
– I resolve to set aside at least a minute every day to roll my eyes at this Spider-Man: Brand New Day crap.
– I resolve to finally get going on my own comic book concept so that in a couple years, I can read it and make fun of it on this very site.
– I resolve to not fight the Monarch because I hear from a good source that he is badass.
– I resolve to lead my team to victory in the 8th Annual 4th Letter vs. Funnybook Babylon Charity Volleyball Game.
– I resolve to receive a restraining order from one Matt Fraction.
– I resolve to discover the storage freezer where writer Len Kaminski is kept. Really, that guy was totally awesome back in the day and he’s completely vanished from the face of the Earth. What the hell happened to him?!
– I resolve to make more jokes about how much Wyatt Wingfoot sucks. More like “WyamIreadingabout Wingfoot?” am I right?
– I resolve to get around to reading Sentences by MF Grimm so I can show hermanos that I’m, uh, down.
– I resolve to finally review what I consider to be the all-time worst comic book issue of all time. It may kill me, but I’ll do it.
Have a happy new year, people.
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So….what exactly IS the all time worst comic book issue of all time?
We’re not going to see Brother Power The Geek anytime are we?
I hope you don’t seriously think you have a chance against us in the 15th annual “Helping kids across the multiverse” Invitational Volleyball Charity Championship.
Sven our new swedish intern has a spike like fucking mjolnir. Don’t step to us. You’ll only get hurt.
Nice to know your New Year’s resolution. Hope you’ll achieve all those for 365 days. I’m quiet interested to know what’s that comic book that you don’t like.
I love reading different comic books! This 2008, hopefully I could start my master’s degree while working. I wish I can do it this year!