About now I’m in the middle of writing three different articles while planning to finally update the Table of Contents. It’s annoying, because I want to have something to post, but I end up being torn between all the different projects and nothing really gets done in time. It’s like I’m a monster that has to choose between the scientist that created him or the loving child that befriended him. Too much time looking back and forth and too little time getting results.

What I’m meaning to say is that this here post is going to be really pointless. More so than usual.

As an introduction, let’s look at this quote from my interview with wrestler “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush:

“A certain type of personality and humor attracts a very specific demographic to CHIKARA, and in that way, we end up in bed with (figuratively speaking), and surrounded by, like-minded individuals. There are so many thematic similarities between pro-wrestling and comic books, that there is bound to be some level of crossover.”

This is very true. There are the obvious comparisons, like the concepts of heroes battling villains in a repeated contest of good vs. evil. Colorful costumes. Slick names, whether they be codenames or last names. Mantles are passed down. Bad guys turning to good guys. Good guys turning to bad guys. Characters with names like Sandman, Mysterio, Hercules, Nitro, Crossbones, Rorschach, the Punisher, etc.

But I got to thinking. There are a lot of similarities between comic books and professional wrestling that go unnoticed. Follow me.

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In comics, one of the most entertaining guys is a talented man by the name of Morrison.

In wrestling, one of the most entertaining guys is also a talented man by the name of Morrison.

They both have connections to mind-blowing drugs, now that I think about it.

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In comics, we have Wolverine. He’s constantly shoved down our throats with his numerous appearances everywhere, tired catchphrases and annoying healing factor.

Wrestling has John Cena.

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In the world of superheroes, Robocop once helped out Captain America and Luke Cage. It was both awful and amazing at the same time.

Similarly, Robocop once helped out WCW’s Sting. It was also awful and amazing. More awful.

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In comics, the Hulk beats down anyone that gets in his way because that’s the way the writers want it.

In wrestling, the Hulk beats down anyone that gets in his way because that’s the way the writers want it. Sadly, a lot of this is based on the fact that Hulk Hogan is the writer.

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Stiltman was rewarded with a snazzy funeral by the villain community, despite the fact that his only talent is being really tall. Nothing else. Just being really tall. That’s it.

Being very tall is Great Khali’s only talent as well. They rewarded his tallness with a world title.

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For a year, Marvel hyped their bulky, ninja hero Ronin. Ronin was eventually revealed to be Echo, a woman. Some called bullshit because Ronin was clearly shown as having a man’s physique.

Wrestling has Chyna.

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The Creeper catches a lot of criminals due to his bizarre nature.

Apparently “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith was also successful due to being bizarre.

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Comics has writer Chuck Austen.

Wrestling has writer Vince Russo.

I don’t have to go into explanation on that one. If you know only one of them, just imagine the other as being his wrestling/comics counterpart.

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Lobo is a no-nonsense bounty hunter from outer space that gets in adventures that are usually pretty horrendous.

Hulk Hogan used to be a no-nonsense bounty hunter from outer space, but his adventures ruled.

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Marvel created a lot of mystery by revealing that Christopher Summers had a third child nobody knew about. After years of questions, the answer turned out to be Vulcan.

The WWE has a similar mystery about Vince McMahon’s soon-to-be-revealed third offspring. He’ll almost definitely be revealed as Mr. Kennedy.

Kennedy.

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Spider-Man experienced a bone-shatteringly stupid storyline about clones that went on for way too long. At one point, he was forced to unmask in public and soon after went on a rampage.

The WWE’s Kane first went through the public unmasking and angry rampages. Then he got stuck in a stupid storyline about his clone.

The major difference here is that Spider-Man’s movies are watchable.

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Speaking of Spider-Man, for some reason I can’t understand, he crossed over with talkshow host Jay Leno.

Even worse, Jay Leno wrestled in WCW.

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In comics, we have DC’s Countdown. This piece of shit comes out weekly, is horribly written, has no coherence and is hard to even look at.

Wrestling has TNA Impact.

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In comics, the best team ever is a big, black dude and his rich, white friend kicking ass from here to Latveria by being Heroes for Hire.

Wrestling had the Acolyte Protection Agency, which was more or less the same deal. I’d like to think that if Cage and Iron Fist had theme music, it would be half as sweet as Farooq and Bradshaw’s.

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In comics, a trend that’s been going on for years is retconning characters and stories. For instance, the Linda Danvers Supergirl was wiped out of history due to the events of Infinite Crisis. Alterations in appearances, motives, past meetings, powers and events change at the whim of the latest writer, depending on his or her mood.

With wrestling… Chris Benoit (look to the right). Hey, remember Wrestlemania 20, when Triple H through Shawn Michaels out of the ring and started tapping out for no reason? Then they vacated the title for several months until giving the title to Randy Orton for fighting a nonexistent opponent at Summerslam? That was crazy!

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That’s about it off the top of my head. That’s not to say that there aren’t major differences. In some cases, wrestling and comics are opposites.

Like, as an example, John Cena claims that, “You can’t see me!”

For Animal Man, it’s very, very different.

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Posted in Lists, Wrestlecomics by Gavok |