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Review of X-Men 3: The Last Movie Until the Next One

May 27th, 2006 by | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Last night I went to the local supermall, knowing that they were showing X3 every half hour or so. Considering I got there at 8, I was a bit surprised that the next available showing was at 11:40. Goddamn it.

So, fifteen hamburgers later it’s time to see the movie. This is, after the usual barrage of movie previews, like Superman Returns, Nacho Libre, Leonard Part 6, Three Fast Three Furious and that crappy-looking Omen remake that they tossed together so they could release something evil on 6/6/06. Sadly, no trailers for Snakes on a Plane.

The movie was really pasted together and shoved out the door as fast as possible so Fox could push it to be the big Memorial Day weekend movie. It shows, considering the big clusterfuck we get. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun clusterfuck, but it’s a clusterfuck nonetheless. I just love using that word… “it’s”.

We get three stories going on at the same time, fighting for screentime: a mutant cure has been created, Magneto’s angry and Jean Grey has cosmic PMS. With so many stories going on, we get about 50 new characters added to the several dozen from the last movie. The exception is Nightcrawler, who is missing because they already filled the blue-skinned quota with Mystique and Beast. Here we get new guys like Jamie Madrox the Multiple Man (yes), the Juggernaut (fuck yes) and Angel (eh… why not).

Despite the hype, Angel’s entire role in the movie was… uh… hm. He was in the movie, right? Well, whatever he did, I’m sure it was special and important. Due to the gigantic cast, guys like Cyclops and Rogue get about five minutes of screentime each. Somehow, this doesn’t stop Halle Berry from showing up, which is a shame.

Kelsey Grammer joins the cast as the Beast and as expected, he is cast to perfection. He adds charisma and energy to just about any scene he’s involved in, plus his action sequence is pretty rocking.

The action sequences are pretty fun, despite some iffy wirework. The action is where Vinnie “Bullet-Tooth Tony” Jones shines as the Juggernaut. One of my all-time favorite fictional characters, Juggernaut doesn’t get too much screentime, but makes much with what he gets. This includes tossing Wolverine around like a ragdoll and a couple sequences where he just runs through stuff.

Honestly, I would watch a movie that is nothing but 90 minutes of the Juggernaut running through shit.

There’s quite a bit of fanservice tossed into the movie to appease comic fans. Wolverine and Colossus do their Fastball Special team-up attack. Iceman finally covers himself with ice when using his powers. Juggernaut quotes a somewhat popular internet cartoon by screaming, “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” Plus Rebecca Romijn gets naked… though that’s a different and infinitely better kind of fanservice.

There’s one new guy in the movie whose power is that he makes himself all spikey. He tries to talk tough to guys like Magneto (who can control metal) and Pyro (who can control fire) despite the fact that his powers are actually pretty damn worthless. At one point, he hugs a woman and then activates the spikes, killing her. My friend next to me immediately pointed out that that’s really the only way he could really kill anyone.

The final scene in the movie is actually pretty powerful and is a great way to end the series. Sadly, there’s an additional scene after the credits that is just plain retarded. Oh well. This is almost definitely not the last X-Men movie, despite the advertisements, especially since Wolverine is slated to get his own spin-off movie. According to an interview, Juggernaut will be coming back in that one too. Bring back Sabertooth and I’ll buy my tickets now.

In the end, X-Men 3 is a fairly fun movie with problems. There’s only a handful of actual characterization, but when the movie works, it works. Even with the rushed schedule, it’s still head and shoulders above, say, Daredevil.

Now if only this comic would get its own movie.

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3 comments to “Review of X-Men 3: The Last Movie Until the Next One”

  1. Oh, yeah… but you’re certain you want to see Will Smith fight Dean Cain? :D


  2. I thought the post-credits scene was perfect. They set it up just right during the movie, IMHO.

    Otherwise, I agree with you. And Madrox was awesome.


  3. My notes:

    Personal glaring wrongness: Juggy being a mutant.
    Actual problem worth noting: Wow, those writers wanted it to end with this one, since they sabotaged half the cast. (Yet, they leave Halle Berry with only her hair affected.) There will be a #4, but we will have a real hard time recognizing it.
    Best casting: Kelsey Grammer. Sometimes, it’s the obvious choice.
    Worst plot moment: The point where they decided to cram the Phoenix and Dark Phoenix plots into one movie. To do this, they had to drop the Hellfire Club and its slow corruption altogether, slap in the ethical problems invovled with Professor X (and then have him killed off in a way that precludes Onslaught – okay, that might be good), and anyone wondering why Cyke gets killed off in the first ten minutes?
    Best character addition: Tie between Beast and Juggy, yes. I say Beast because of the lack of compromise and better accent. Madrox can take third.
    Worst character addition: “Hi, I’m Miss Plot Device! I’m not only fast, I can read power levels!” Hey, guys? Two characters, or, better yet, drop in someone that makes sense and drop the plot additive (Quicksilver, anyone?)
    Best supporting actor: The guy playing Multiple Man. They made him evil, but passively so. So, he makes the character exactly like the comics have him besides that point. Considering Multiple Man isn’t the most known of mutants out there, that’s good work.
    Favorite moments: Iceman vs. Pyro (beam wars! Yes, Virginia, this *is* emulating a comic book!), about half of Juggernaut’s scenes (again, if they hadn’t made him a mutant, it would be *GOLDEN*), female fanservice (not only Rebecca, but the Wolverine/Phoenix belt-breaking), the Fastball Specials, Beast flying around a pole into a bouncing attack frenzy, Wolverine doing what he does best in the forest…

    …yeah, good movie. :-)