The Top 70 Deadpool Moments Day 3: Alone in Your Electric Chair

April 28th, 2009 by | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Based on one of the comments in an earlier article, I should probably mention that despite Deadpool being awesome in other forms of media (some of them, at least), I’m only counting comic book stuff for this countdown.

Sorry, no inclusions of the time in Ultimate Alliance where he talks to Weasel about the time he stabbed him in the leg for taking the last cheese puff. Or the conversation where he tries to convince Black Bolt to say “spatula”.

This also means no inclusions of animated Deadpool shooting Hulk and Wolverine with a crapload of tranquilizer darts before saying, “Hey, Logan! It’s me, Deadpool! I shot youuuuu!” Which is a shame in of itself because Hulk vs. Wolverine is such a brilliant depiction of the mouthed merc.

50) Rock ‘n’ Roll!
Identity Disc #2 (2004)
Writer: Rob Rodi

For those who haven’t heard of it, Identity Disc is a miniseries from a few years back that is essentially what happened when a writer decided to take The Usual Suspects and rewrite it with six supervillains. Five of the villains are interesting characters and help sell the series, but the other one sucks and is somehow the main character. Hint: I’m talking about Vulture.

Deadpool is part of this group in search for the Identity Disc, which has the identities of every superhero. In one scene, he hangs out with Bullseye, waiting to strike a facility and steal a skeleton key device. The two talk about what the Kaiser Soze knockoff of a villain has on them to make them play ball. For Deadpool, he’ll get information on where his ex-wife is. I don’t even think they meant Mercedes from the Kelly run, which makes it more of a continuity clusterfuck. For Bullseye, he’s tried working both sides of a gang war and it’s blown up in his face. If he does his job here, the slate will be wiped clean.

Finally, it hits nightfall and after all that waiting, they can finally get to business. Bullseye says, “Time to rock ‘n’ roll,” as the two sneak around the building. After all the lead-up, all that happens is Bulleye knocks a security guard out by flicking a piece of gravel onto his forehead and then finds the safe and gets the prize. Deadpool is angry over the complete lack of action and the fact that he wasn’t even needed to begin with.

To make up for it…

And there it is. The only scene from Identity Disc you’ll see on the list.

49) Belief in Your Enemies
Cable/Deadpool #9 (2005)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza

As I mentioned a day or so ago, Cable had a plan to try to take over the world for the better, only to be killed by superheroes. He’d be a martyr, people would consider him a persecuted messiah and try to better themselves with his example. That relied partly on the idea of Deadpool leading the X-Men into his stronghold and taking him out. After all, Deadpool hates him and told him he’d be watching to make sure Cable doesn’t go over the line.

Instead, Deadpool knocks out Wolverine and Bishop with concussive laser blasts from behind while warning Cable about the X-Men’s intentions. Deadpool is unpredictable as is, but to be so unpredictable as to defend his hated enemy? Even Cable is confused… for a moment. Then it hits him.

Cable tells Deadpool what he really intended, but he’s completely flattered. To think that Deadpool of all people believes in him more than himself. It’s a nice moment put to an end when Cyclops optic blasts Deadpool into the distance.

48) Phones and Ninjas
Marvel Comics Presents #10 (2008)
Writer: Jesse Blaze Snider

This short story amused the hell out of me. Deadpool is given the job of sneaking into a mansion and killing an old man. It’s going all well, but once he looms over the old man and his young mistress, Deadpool’s cell phone starts blaring “YMCA”. He picks it up and it’s Weasel, trying to tell him something very important. Deadpool can’t listen to what he has to say because now the old man’s ninja guards are all over him. The leader ninja nails him in the eye with a shuriken.

Deadpool wastes all his ammo on that one ninja (every shot misses), but tells Weasel that he only used one of the two guns he brought. He refuses to use the other gun because he labeled it “THIS SPACE FOR RENT” and in hindsight doesn’t think it’s very funny. But because Weasel insists it is, Deadpool opens fire and wastes the clan.

As for the main ninja? Deadpool still has the throwing star lodged into his eye, so he takes care of him like so.

Ow! He decapitates the old man and finally gives Weasel his attention. All this time, Weasel was trying to warn him that he’d get quadruple the bounty for bringing the target in alive. Deadpool sadly sits on the bed and asks the old man’s mistress if she has any duct tape.

47) Battle with Batroc
Deadpool #20 (1998)
Writer: Joe Kelly

Even if he’s a fun character and even if he’s supposed to be one of the best hand-to-hand fighters in the world, you have to realize that Batroc the Leaper is ridiculous. He’s a goofy French guy with a silly mustache and ugly color scheme. His very existence is fuel for Deadpool. Like back when Deadpool and Monty took a trip to Monte Carlo. Thanks to Monty’s ability to tell the future, they swindled Batroc out of lots of cash and even got his hotel key out of it. This means war.

(Deadpool’s eye in that second panel is weirding me out.)

During the fight, Batroc throws Monty out a window and into the pool below. Monty miraculously survives, thus making him feel alive over experiencing the unexpected. Deadpool gets the upperhand and leads to Jason Borelli’s favorite part, when Deadpool throws Batroc out another window. Right, Jason?

And for some odd reason, the scene is placed in front of a mock letters column. Batroc did have it coming, though.

That he did, my friend. That he did.

46) Deadpool vs. Black Panther
Deadpool #44 (2000)
Writer: Christopher Priest

During a crossover story with Black Panther, Deadpool and his supervillain roommates go up against the Avengers. During the melee, Deadpool meets up with Black Panther. This Black Panther isn’t T’challa, but Erik Killmonger.

The two first introduce themselves and argue about what friendship means or whatever. They duel with knives until this happens.

Hey, I laughed.

45) The Sad Fate of Flatman
Deadpool/GLI Summer Spectacular (2007)
Writers: Dan Slott and Fabian Nicieza

In the Summer Spectacular, Deadpool teams up with the Great Lakes Initiative to defeat AIM and thwart their plans to force all the superheroes into a constant state of drunkenness. Deadpool takes the position of a reserve member of the team, which he exploits in order to freeload off the team’s sweet-ass headquarters.

Flatman makes an attempt to confront Deadpool about this as he slides into the bathroom as Deadpool is taking a bath (using up all the hot water too). Deadpool, without any remorse, grabs Flatman and uses him as a towel, going as thorough as to do the whole “under-floss” thing. Jeez.

Flatman gets so riled up over this that he throws Deadpool’s rubber ducky into the distance. Deadpool’s ready for a fight, so he goes into Crane Style. Flatman is ready.

Deadpool keeps announcing other animal styles, but Flatman folds himself into that animal and beats him at his own game. Deadpool announces “Boat Style!” and tricks Flatman into taking the form of a boat. Deadpool staples him together and gets back into the bathtub.

I’m not exactly sure why Deadpool had staplers in the bathroom. I’m sure he had a reason, but it was probably something that only made sense to him.

44) The Funeral
Deadpool #61 (2002)
Writer: Frank Tieri

Having just been killed by Weapon X and reduced to nothing more than a hand, Deadpool awakens to find himself a ghost at his own funeral. There’s no dialogue, as this is a ‘Nuff Said issue, but visually, it’s a nice who’s who for the character. The guest list includes Wolverine, Cable, Siryn, the Great Lakes Avengers, his friends from the Hellhouse, Montgomery, Zoe Culloden, Blind Al, Weasel, that gay landlord guy from Priest’s run, Juggernaut, Kid Deadpool, Typhoid Mary, Sasquatch, Constrictor and Black Panther.

At one point, a projectile whizzes past Ghost Deadpool’s head. He sees a playing card bounce off a tree and into the coffin, where it lands in his hand. He turns to find Bullseye in the shadows, wearing a trench coat and fedora. Bullseye, despite being a vile hardass, tips his hat in Deadpool’s direction and walks off. Unseen, Deadpool’s ghost returns the gesture.

He sees Kid Deadpool defacing his photo, so Deadpool inhabits the boy’s body and has him pinch the Juggernaut’s butt. He leaves the body, just in time for Juggernaut to turn around and punch the scared teen so hard, all we see left of him are smoking boots. This causes a big fight to break out.

Deadpool walks away from this, laughing, and ascends into the afterlife.

43) Quality Time with Kid Deadpool
Deadpool #51 (2001)
Writers: Jimmy Palmiotti and Buddy Scalera

As you can see from the last entry, Deadpool and his sidekick never did truly get along. Not to say Wade and Chris didn’t have their moments. The two camp out on a rooftop so they can snipe and do away with the man who killed Chris’ father. The relationship between Deadpool and Kid Deadpool is highlighted here. The two don’t like each other, but at the same time they connect and even admire each other. Chris hates Deadpool, but he really seems to want to be just like him.

Nothing sums up their relationship better than these two panels.

They do get caught and some men are sent to eliminate them. Kid Deadpool shoots two of them, allowing Deadpool to demand answers from the last. As they leave, Kid Deadpool points out the hole in their plan.

“Hey, not to challenge your skills as a ruthless killer… but you left that guy’s hands free. He could escape and alert Maxy. Or even worse!”

“Hmm, makes sense. After all, he was coming up to kill us. Speaking of which… remember what I told you earlier?”

“About only killing the ones we get paid for?”

“Yeah. Well, sometimes you just squeeze one in as a goof.”

42) Setting Up Merryweather
Cable/Deadpool #24 (2006)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza

Something I noticed on this second read-through of Cable/Deadpool: sure, Deadpool is a jokey character who really shines when he’s serious, but the opposite is true for Cable. Cable is mostly stone-faced and serious about everything, but to see him crack a joke every once and a while is pretty great. What better joke than what he puts Irene Merryweather through?

Cable has been anonymously hiring Deadpool to do his dirty work and he needs Irene to contact him face-to-face and give him information involving his next mission. Irene is completely against it, as she wants no part in meeting with Deadpool. She doesn’t get why she can’t just call him up and tell him this information over the phone, but Cable appears to know best and talks her into it. What she doesn’t see is the smile on his face.

Irene stands inside Wade’s apartment, nervous and very confused. She goes over the mission for a second, but stops to comment on how surprisingly nice the apartment is.

And so, Irene lets out a terrified shriek.

Say what you will about Siryn, Copycat and all the rest. I could never get enough of the Wade/Irene dynamic.

41) Awkward Fantasies
Cable/Deadpool #20-21 (2005)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza

Deadpool goes up against the B.A.D. Girls – a trio of snake-based female assassins who don’t want anyone bringing up Kill Bill. Black Mamba has the ability to cover her enemy in shadows and force them to delve into their greatest fantasy. When she uses it on Deadpool, it leads to him drifting off into visions of being on a beach, giving Cable a massage and lotioning his back. Waking up, he gets very self-conscious and focuses not on the fight with the rival assassins, but on his own masculinity. It’s a fight he has trouble winning.

Later on, Black Mamba uses her powers on Deadpool, Cable, Luke Cage, Iron Fist and Weasel at the same time. Deadpool, knowing what’s coming, screams in terror. When they come to… uh…

I don’t think I want to know.

The issue after, Mamba tries her power on the Cat, but he shrugs it off. Being a super-cool martial arts assassin dude is his fantasy as is. Is the Cat as badass outside of this comic as he is inside?

With those ten in the hole, it’s time for another mini-countdown. Today’s topic? TOP FIVE BEST DEADPOOL ALTERNATE OUTFITS!

No context for any of them. Just as Wade would like it.

5) Iron Wade (vs. Victor Von Bob)

4) Weapon X Deadpool

3) X-Men Deadpool

2) Pimp My Armor Deadpool

1) The… Other X-Men Deadpool

More on THAT one later.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!

  • This Week in Panels: Week 97
  • The Top 70 Deadpool Moments Day 1: Stranded in the Combat Zone
  • 4thletter is for… Domino!
  • Calling All Wade Wilson Fans!
  • The Top 70 Deadpool Moments Day 2: So You Said That Only Proves That I’m Insane
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    5 comments to “The Top 70 Deadpool Moments Day 3: Alone in Your Electric Chair”

    1. I saw you were starting with Identity Discs for this one and I was all “Hell No!” but then you went and actually found a decent scene from that train-wreck of stupid…

      Which reminds me, Marvel should do a follow up to M.O.D.O.K.S.11, still by Van Lente, but add Deadpool…

    2. “Which is a shame in of itself because Hulk vs. Wolverine is such a brilliant depiction of the mouthed merc.”

      “Logan good buddy, we missed you! Weapon X hasn’t been the same without you. Nobody calls me ‘bub’ anymore!”

      Man, that guy was a great voice actor. IMDB has just told me the guy who did his voice in Hulk Vs. (Nolan North) will be doing it again in the new Wolverine video game. Now I have a better reason to rent it.

    3. I got mentioned? Sweet. I just wish that I went over my suggestions over more thoroughly. Poor Batroc . . . he just screams “cannon fodder,” doesn’t he? I’d also ask about the moment with his daughter teaming with Tarantula’s kid and Taskmaster’s reaction, but Deadpool wasn’t around for that, seeing how that took place in Agent X, so it wouldn’t count.

    4. Oh man! I can’t believe I forgot “Pimp My Armor” Deadpool! I LOVED that. I laughed my butt off at that.

    5. This was a great trip down memory road. When I was working on the book for a few issues, I went back and re-read my entire Deadpool collection. This makes me want to read it all over again.

      Buddy Scalera