In our last installment, Hawkeye just kind of showed up like a jerk and shot at Spider-Man. Spider-Man realizes that the only way to counter an excessive amount of sound effects is his own assortment of too many sound effects. Let’s watch!
Thanks to ManiacClown for sharing my burden of being constantly confused for MightyGodKing.
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
What, you don’t think we forgot about this, did you? It’s another week of fun at 4th Letter with a brand new issue of Ultimates 3 to deal with.
If you missed the last issue, um… hm. The recap isn’t for another few pages. Bear with me. Here, just read this stuff about Spider-Man. You kids love Spider-Man, right? I promise, no Mephisto jokes.
Thanks again to ManiacClown for reminding me that most of the readers either don’t watch wrestling or are too young to get a Junkyard Dog/”THUMP!” reference.
Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
“There’s no such thing as bad characters, just bad writers.” – Unknown
It’s the truth. Especially in a medium where characters rarely have one set writer, sometimes not even one at a time, the quality of a character is largely decided by how they’re written. But sometimes a character needs a little more effort to work; characters with no set goal or motivation, a lack of personality or simply an outdated concept. Tigra is one of those characters. She never struck me as interesting in anything I’ve read featuring her; She was either just kind of a generic urban vigilante with a cat theme or caught up in the plights of some society of cat people with a convoluted history that I couldn’t care less about. But recently Marvel seems to have been making people more aware of the character, by making her the one who betrayed Captain America in Civil War, the person the Hood beat the crap out of to set an example in New Avengers and as one of the characters in the House of M: Avengers miniseries. So if you’re going to bring her to the readers’ attention, the least you can do is make her compelling. That scene in New Avengers was the first time I’d felt any sort of emotion towards the character, but it hasn’t been followed up on so far and it’s unclear if it will be (although I’m still holding out since Bendis tends to write stories with a slow burn). So here are some things I would like to see happening with the character to make me interested in reading about her:
– Politely ignore the cat people stuff. It’s unnecessary baggage and too goofy to take seriously in this day and age. There was a Tigra mini a couple of years back by Christina Z and Mike Deodato Jr. that did exactly this. It wasn’t very good because the writing was too cheesy, but at least it tried to do something new with the character and give her a place in the universe. Oh yeah, she became a cop at the end of that mini. That was sorta interesting. Whatever happened to that?
– Change the name while you’re at it. “Tigra” makes it sound like she should a member of the Thundercats. Either go for the Luke Cage angle and get rid of the name altogether (“Greer Grant” has a nice enough ring to it), or change it back to the more generic yet elegantly simple “The Cat”.
– Change the outfit. It makes her look silly. Yeah, I know, she’s confident about her sexuality, blablabla. Lots of people (real and fictional) are confident about their sexuality, yet they generally don’t walk around in a bikini all the time. Besides, we all know the real reason she’s dressed like that. It’s not even a practical outfit, since very rarely is it drawn as giving any sort of support. The only thing it’s good for is removing the impact from dramatic scenes. She doesn’t need a superhero outfit anyway, much in the same way Wolverine doesn’t need one. She has no secret identity anymore and her look is distinctive enough to not warrant a flashy costume. Like I mentioned, she’s supposed to be a police officer now, so put her in a police uniform.
– Yeah, she’s a police officer! That’s one of the things that always appealed to me about Savage Dragon, that he was a cop who got super powers but chose to stay a cop in favor of becoming a generic superhero. Focus on that idea and it’d both give her a unique role in the universe and be the perfect opportunity to show the Initiative in action; Superheroes actively working together with the police force. And, hey, holy crap, guess who’s the new top dog in Marvel’s criminal underworld? The Hood. The guy she’d have a very personal reason for going after. This stuff practically writes itself.
In fact, this can all be brought back to simply remembering that she’s a cop. That one story element from a five year old miniseries suddenly makes the character relevant again. This really isn’t that hard.
I used to feel kind of sorry for Iron Fist, despite not having read many of his comics. It’s stupid to feel that way for a fictional character you know little about, but I did. Everyone always thought highly of Luke Cage, but nobody ever cared for Iron Fist. Did Iron Fist get shoved back into center stage by Brian Michael Bendis? Did Iron Fist ever review old Twinkie ads with Doctor Doom and a talking fish? Have you ever heard anyone wax poetic about that awesome comic where Iron Fist beat up Doom? No, not really. All he got was a bunch of jokes about his name and costume, all while being referred to as Power Man’s sidekick.
Even Bendis didn’t seem to give him much love. If you look at Iron Fist’s appearances in Daredevil under Bendis’ pen, it feels as if he writes him out of necessity. In every appearance he makes, he’s standing firmly in Cage’s shadow. All he ever does is help out Cage. He’s the supporting character of a supporting character. Granted, Bendis did give him that awesome scene in the Pulse where Danny got all tense and insinuated that Jessica Jones is a whore. I like Jessica and all, but that was flat out hilarious.
His facial expression after that just says, “Whoa, that may have been a bit over the line… but really.”
It was Bendis’ lax treatment that made Ed Brubaker’s reveal that Danny Rand was filling in for Daredevil one of the all-time best revelations in comics. It worked out so well. It didn’t come out of nowhere, but Iron Fist was so low profile in his background actions that it wasn’t obvious. Then it succeeded to both push Iron Fist out of Luke’s shadow and give him a new lease on life by giving him his own critically acclaimed series and a spot on the Cage-led New Avengers.
Yesterday, the big Venom fight had come to a conclusion, Wasp and Hawkeye got at each other’s throats and everyone’s favorite Alabama prom couple copped attitude at Captain America. Now we got a lot of talking. Sorry. The next three pages aren’t the most exciting.
Just want to make a note that some people have missed. Neither me nor ManiacClown are the guy that did the famous Civil War parody. That was MightyGodKing. I appreciate the compliment, though.
More fun on Monday.
As we last left our heroes… Wait. Nobody really looks up to these jokers. As we last left our vigilante protagonists, Venom was kicking their asses. Then Valkyrie flew down from left field and tried chopping him up. It didn’t take. Venom has the sword and has a decent idea of how to use it.
In that first image, at the very bottom, am I the only one who thinks that Venom looks like he’s wearing a monocle? “We want to look rich!”
Once again, thanks to ManiacClown. That ham thing was his brainchild.
Tomorrow = more.
About a year or so ago, I recall explaining Jeph Loeb to somebody. The guy I was talking to only read Marvel, so he didn’t understand why I found Loeb’s writing so annoying. The only thing he knew of him was Loeb’s old Batman stuff, which of course, was very good. This was before Fallen Son, Wolverine and it’s not like he was going to read the then-new miniseries Onslaught Reborn anyway.
I explained it via Superman/Batman and how ridiculous it got after Jeph’s son tragically died of cancer. Loeb’s writing took a turn for the worse to the point that he only relies on his whole “Toss everyone into the mix and watch it sell despite quality” gimmick to get by. He still gets high profile comic jobs that will continue to do well based on both the topic and the great artists he’s usually paired with. No matter how bad his Hulk run is, it will capitalize on both the McGuinness art and the phenomenon of Greg Pak’s amazing Planet/World War Hulk epic. Wolverine was unreadable, but it’s Wolverine and the pages looked amazing.
My friend didn’t care much about Superman or Batman, so my explanation of why it was so bad towards the end of Loeb’s run didn’t work. To better explain, I jokingly came up with Jeph Loeb’s Spider-Man/Wolverine. A hypothetical comic where in one story they would face Doctor Octopus, who has for some reason taken over the Hand. Or a story where Ben Reilly returns with an adamantium skeleton. Or a story with Mary Jane becoming the new Phoenix. If anything else, I knew that there would be some kind of story arc where Venom and Magneto would team up. Such a concept makes no sense in any way, but that would never stop Loeb from shoehorning those two popular villains together for the sake of another epic crossover filled with random guest appearances.
I was only half joking when I suggested it, and yet here it is. Much has been said about Jeph Loeb and MAD!’s Ultimates 3 #1. Very few of it good. It’s nice of them to wait until December to release this, as we can be sure that this is really the worst comic of the year. In a year where Mary Marvel turned slutty and fought a demon made of dead babies who threatened to eat her poop, it was still toppled by this muddy comic that can only be considered the Ultimate line’s first great step into self-destruction.
This comic needs its own special take. Much like Christopher Bird‘s deservingly popular take on Civil War, I teamed up with Something Awful forum member ManiacClown to create Ultimate Edit. Speaking of Mr. Bird, he was gracious enough to help me find a font that doesn’t scrape the eyes. Nice guy.
That’s it for today. Join us tomorrow for the next three pages.
Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
There were two, count ’em, two Marvel comics this week that featured sex tapes as a plot point.
One was Ultimates 3 #1, a comic so thoroughly bad that the only thing I can really praise is that there is an Ultimate Black Panther now, though he jobs like a chump to College Sophomore Eddie Brock in the Venom Costume.
I guess I can’t praise that at all.
Was the newly deAsianed Wasp honestly letting Captain America know that it’s the 21st century now and his pitiful 1940s-era brain just doesn’t get that incest is all to the good?
I mean, what was that all about?
Also it’s kind of awesome how Wasp goes out and buys Tony Stark’s sex tape and screens it in front of all his buddies for what’s apparently the first time they’ve heard about it?
“Hey guys, check this out! Tony Stark and his dead murdering traitor of a fiancee are getting it on! PS Tony what’s the deal with this tape I just bought?”
Great writing, that.
The other book is The Order #5, words by Matt Fraction and art by Khari Evans over Barry Kitson’s layouts.
In the words of one syllable: Wow. Two syllables: Holy wow.
My hands down favorite panel in the book is the one at the top of this page:
He draws the most beautiful sneers I’ve ever seen. The body language is so dead on, too.
Marvel? Push this guy. He is the next big thing. He’s got a funky style that isn’t too far off from the superhero standard while still being pretty awesomely distinct. His talking heads are wonderful, too. Give him a go on a Bendis-written Luke Cage series if you gotta. You know that Bendis would write that in a hot minute.
Do everything you can to make him a star, but please don’t let him draw anything Loeb or Millar writes because I’d like to enjoy the story as well as his awesome art.
Just give me (us) more of his art, that’s all I want.
First thing, big thanks to whoever submitted the comics/wrestling parallels article to Fark. You are a true class act, whoever you are.
Said article is also deemed incorrect thanks to Mr. Kennedy getting himself suspended and therefore written out of the “Vince McMahon’s long-lost son” storyline. Though I guess that does make him the wrestling version of Captain Atom.
Electronic Arts has announced another Marvel fighting game with no title yet. Rather than be a sequel to Marvel Nemesis, even in style, the game appears as a Marvel version of War of the Monsters. War of the Monsters was an all right game, though pretty shallow. The new game doesn’t look very different.
Here is the trailer and here is the in-game footage. The roster so far is Spider-Man, Captain America, the Hulk, the Juggernaut and Dr. Doom. Allow me to rail on the footage, character-by-character.
Spider-Man: Cool that they go with the small-eyed look, much like Alex Ross intended with his original Spider-Man movie designs. The part where he saves the blond lady from the falling building, but does nothing to save Bruce Banner reminds me of that Jay Pinkerton parody with the avalanche.
Captain America: Apparently able to punch the Hulk a mile away, Captain America pretends to be alive for this upcoming game. The designers show that they’ve come up with like a hundred sketches of what Captain America should look like here. Listen, I know I’m not paid the big bucks like you fine fellows, but why not… I don’t know… make him look like Captain America?!
See? Capcom got it right.
Hulk: They end the trailer with the Hulk yawning. I don’t get it.
Juggernaut: For a guy magically given an instant and infinitely buff body, why does the Juggernaut look like he needs to do some sit-ups? And stop trying to make him resemble the Vinnie Jones movie version. That’s not something that needs emulating.
Doctor Doom: First off, nice kilt, Scrooge Von Duck. Here I thought Doom was a strategic mastermind that acted evil behind the defenses of diplomatic immunity, not a guy who terrorizes the populace by taking a stroll through New York City in broad daylight. It looks like Jim Rhodes redesigned Doom’s armor by giving him missiles instead of the trademark energy gauntlets. Plus he blows up a building in his attempt to kill Spider-Man, showing that even Doom is over 9/11. No tears this time.
I’ll have a real article up tomorrow. Stay tuned.
About now I’m in the middle of writing three different articles while planning to finally update the Table of Contents. It’s annoying, because I want to have something to post, but I end up being torn between all the different projects and nothing really gets done in time. It’s like I’m a monster that has to choose between the scientist that created him or the loving child that befriended him. Too much time looking back and forth and too little time getting results.
What I’m meaning to say is that this here post is going to be really pointless. More so than usual.
As an introduction, let’s look at this quote from my interview with wrestler “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush:
“A certain type of personality and humor attracts a very specific demographic to CHIKARA, and in that way, we end up in bed with (figuratively speaking), and surrounded by, like-minded individuals. There are so many thematic similarities between pro-wrestling and comic books, that there is bound to be some level of crossover.”
This is very true. There are the obvious comparisons, like the concepts of heroes battling villains in a repeated contest of good vs. evil. Colorful costumes. Slick names, whether they be codenames or last names. Mantles are passed down. Bad guys turning to good guys. Good guys turning to bad guys. Characters with names like Sandman, Mysterio, Hercules, Nitro, Crossbones, Rorschach, the Punisher, etc.
But I got to thinking. There are a lot of similarities between comic books and professional wrestling that go unnoticed. Follow me.
In comics, one of the most entertaining guys is a talented man by the name of Morrison.
In wrestling, one of the most entertaining guys is also a talented man by the name of Morrison.
They both have connections to mind-blowing drugs, now that I think about it.
