After three months of peace, we’re back. If you’re new to Ultimate Edit or you forgot about what the hell’s been going on in those earlier issues, here’s the rundown:

In issue 1, Venom showed up for no reason and beat up everyone until Thor remembered that he was Thor and toasted him. Then Scarlet Witch got shot dead. Quicksilver was a sad mutant panda. Also, there were rumors at the time that Nighthawk from Squadron Supreme was going to end up in the Ultimate Marvel universe, thereby making him an immediate suspect for being Black Panther, but that proved wrong, so my bad on that. Then again, that speculation came from before we saw how blatant the hints were that Black Panther is Captain America.

Then came issue 2, where Hawkeye bullied Spider-Man around and the Ultimates got in an ACTION-PACKED fight against the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Magneto and Quicksilver left with Scarlet Witch’s corpse and Wolverine showed up because… to hell with it. I think I’ve exhausted every Wolverine/cameo joke there is.

He stuck around for the third issue, where he talked forever about his connections to Magneto’s family. A whole lot of them went to the Savage Land and Iron Man started beating on Wasp. Turns out that Iron Man is an evil robot.

Now back to the story.

Huh. So the late-80’s was so long ago that it’s depicted as being black and white? I feel old now.

Thanks again to ManiacClown for helping make the magic.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Getting love from the Scans_Daily crew, it’s the final installment of Ultimate Edit Week 3. Yesterday we saw Iron Man show off the magic Wanda-killing bullet to Wasp, right after everyone left for the Savage Land. So, what now?

(You really should read yesterday’s last page before continuing here.)

If you have any of those songs stuck in your head now, I consider this a job well done. ManiacClown will join me again the next time an issue drops, but in the meantime, I’ll still be around writing my usual brand of blogduggery. I have a handful of articles that are just sitting there, half done. I really should do something about that.

Thanks for reading.

Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

As we last left our heroes, Wolverine finally shut the hell up and Wasp came up with a plan. They would try to sneak into the Savage Land to surprise a bunch of villains who have every reason to expect them coming. Brilliant.

Admittedly, not too many jokes this time around. For once, we’re actually getting plot progression here. Shocking, I know.

If that first page offended you, send all your hatemail to ManiacClown. Not that I’m going to give you his email, since I’ve grown to like the guy.

Tomorrow is the last three pages with a yawn-inducing cliffhanger. See you then.

Day Seven!

Welcome back, friends. Last time we met, Wolverine talked about meeting Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, followed by his ordered attempt to kill the latter. Then dinosaurs happened. Thankfully, we’re about done with his endless flashback.

That line at the end of the second page? I think we have a new 4th Letter tagline.

This is the part of the article where I give a token mention to ManiacClown for the assist. More tomorrow, as Iron Man and Black Panther show up for a spell.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

Time once again for another three pages of Ultimate Edit. Last time we checked in, Wolverine bragged about getting some witch booty. Now let’s go forward one generation.

Sorry for the pun on page two. I had to get that joke out of my system.

Thanks to ManiacClown for the help and thanks to muscles like this? for getting this stuff linked on Something Awful. In the next installment, I promise we’ll actually have scenes dedicated to the Ultimates. You remember them? The guys this comic was named after?

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

And… we’re back. Lots of wacky stuff in the last installment. Wolverine fought Hawkeye for little reason and the team bickered for a while. Now Wolverine is about to explain his part in the whole Scarlet Witch conspiracy.

Why, oh why, did MAD! feel the need to leave space to show us Wolverine’s shadowy, hairy ass?

Me and ManiacClown will be back tomorrow with another three pages of flashback. On the upside, Wolverine will have pants on.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Nothing much happened yesterday. I mean, it was just a cover, a recap page and Wolverine talking. That’s how 40% of Marvel’s comics start out these days. Anywho, here’s some more of Wolverine talking.

Join us tomorrow, as me and ManiacClown cover more of Wolverine talking.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

This is the Ultimate Edit, of Ultimates Volume 3. Good guys, bad guys and explosions as far as the eye can see. And it goes to issue 5. I wonder how it will be. This is the Ultimate Edit, of Ultimates Volume 3.

If you missed the first and second issues, then you should probably go read those. It’s okay. I’ll wait.

Scarlet Witch got shot, a bunch of mutant badguys popped into the mansion, fought the heroes and skipped town with the corpse. Now Wolverine’s there. Spider-Man is probably still unconscious but nobody cares about him.

One thing that doesn’t come up in these edits that really bugged the hell out of me is the narration. At the very end of the second issue, once Wolverine steps in, it makes a mention that this takes place, “one second ago”. Why the first two issues were counting down to Wolverine’s mid-sentence, I don’t know. But in the first page of the third issue, taking place immediately after Wolverine’s entrance speech, it explains the scene as taking place “last night”. WHAT?

That’s going to mess with somebody’s mind once the trade comes out.

As always, a thank you to partner ManiacClown.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Here’s our final round for the issue. Yesterday, Captain America and Hawkeye fought Sabretooth and Multiple Man to their hearts’ content. This story is going to have to move real quick if it’s going to wrap up in three pages. Good thing we have Quicksilver.

And that’s the end of that, at least for a couple weeks. As always, thanks go out to my imaginary friend ManiacClown. Thanks also to all of you who read this, enjoy it and make the effort to get others to read and enjoy this. Yes, Virginia. You can polish a turd.

Ultimate Edit Week 3!
Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

Welcome back. Previously on Ultimate Edit, Thor was seduced into fighting Valkyrie and Iron Man gave Blob a ride to the bus stop. That’s about it. We’re almost at the end of the issue, but for now, let’s have another moment with Captain America and Hawkeye.

This one had a lot of stuff cut out. ManiacClown really wanted to drive home the whole Sabretooth/Triple H comparison, but I didn’t think too many people would get it. I was going to have Captain America tell Sabretooth, “Tigger, please!”, but it was too forced and really didn’t go well sandwiched between hermanos’ whole Black History Month fiesta. And ManiacClown wanted Hawkeye to really, really hate apples for whatever reason.

We finish off the issue tomorrow, so I know you don’t want to miss that fun.

Day Seven!