What if I say I’m not like the others?
What if I say I’m not just another one of your plays?
You’re the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?
—Foo Fighters, “The Pretender”

Yeah, that’s right. I’m allowed to do these articles too. hermanos said I could. So there.

When I think about black history and comics, I have to talk about the history of one of my favorite black comic characters, Steel. My first memory of the character is seeing a poster for Reign of Supermen near my local arcade back in the early 90’s. It asked the question of which one of those four S-shield-wearing superguys was the real Superman. It seemed obvious to me that it was either the cyborg guy or the dude with the visor. The George Michael one looked too young and that guy with the hammer looked nothing like Superman.

I didn’t read the whole Death and Return story for well over a decade after it came out. For a while, the only experience I had with it was that SNES game, which I still declare as good. As fun as it was, the story aspect of the game was ridiculously lacking. No Green Lantern, no Supergirl, no Lex Luthor Jr. and strangely no Mongul. All I could figure from what the game showed me was that Cyborg Superman was evil for some reason and by merging Eradicator with Black Costume Superman with his arm cannon, he returned Superman back to his normal red and blue self.

I didn’t expect much when I read the actual comic, and yet I found it to be one of my favorite Superman stories. As long as it was, everything (except a lot of Funeral for a Friend) clicked. It was a good mystery with good character moments and good action sequences. What really sold it for me was that I really like all four of the false Supermen. Each one has his own appeal. I still think it’s absolutely criminal how little DC uses Eradicator, especially after how rad that one Dan Abnett Majestic story was.

I could go into detail on a lot of fantastic Steel moments, but the thing I remember him most for is taming the Eradicator and teaching him heroism through pounding the crap out of him. It takes place during Reign of Supermen in issues Action Comics #689 (Who is the Hero True?) and Superman: The Man of Steel #24 (Impact).

Steel is the one Superman who didn’t claim to be the real deal, both out of nobility and because, let’s face it, he’s just a huge, black human in a suit of armor. It would’ve been a hard sell anyway. What he didn’t have in appearance, he had in spirit. Almost literally, but I’ll get to that in a second. Steel was the only natural hero among the four pretenders to the point that he coached Superboy into being more than Booster Gold Version 2.0.

Eradicator was the opposite. Physically he looked the part and although his power set and weaknesses were different, he was easy to accept as being Superman after something odd and comic booky happened to him. I mean… that’s how we got Superman Blue, right? It’s just that emotionally, he was a cold bastard and had no qualms over murder or maiming. Guy Gardner loved him for it. At the time of this issue, his mission is to find anyone who pretends to be Superman and eradicate them.

Steel is in the middle of dealing with a gang of armed hoods, who find that his armor deflects every one of their bullets. One of them sneaks behind Steel and aims a shotgun. A second later, he’s vaporized by the Eradicator. He fries the others’ guns and decides to let them run off as he’d rather confront Steel.

Lois storms over and shows them what their little brawl has done to Metropolis. Steel immediately comes to realize he was in the wrong and owns up to it. Eradicator, more driven by his unease from being near Lois, also apologizes.

“You know, I never laid claim to the name of Superman. I wear this shield and this cape to honor a man who gave me back my life. Can you honestly look me in the eyes and say that you find anything wrong in that?”

“Put in those terms… No. I cannot. I am sorry…”

Right when the two have an understanding, a process server runs over and hands over some cease and desist papers for using the Superman trademarks, owned by Superboy’s employer. Eradicator fries the papers and prepares to fry the server for his insolence. This time, it’s Steel who runs into the fight by grabbing Eradicator and flying off in order to protect that poor weasel’s life.

The thing to remember here is that within the story, they went and made it pretty clear who was stronger than who. Cyborg Superman is stronger than Eradicator, who is stronger than Superboy, who is stronger than Steel. Steel is heading into battle against an enemy out of his league.

Without thinking about casualties, Eradicator drives Steel back towards the Earth and spikes him into the ground. They end up in Coast City and the fight begins anew.

He got through to a piece of intergalactic hardware through passion and a helping of metal fists. How great is that?

Even though we know the facts of the story in hindsight, at the time of this fight, there was another dimension to it. Earlier issues of Reign of Supermen suggested the concept that both Steel and Eradicator were the real deal in different ways. Eradicator was physically Superman, but Steel was a host for Superman’s ghost. Obviously, this wasn’t true in the end, but I’m sure at the time it made this incident a bit more interesting.

What did this fight lead to with our two super friends here? Eradicator got toasted by Cyborg Superman and came back a few issues later, finally discovering his true identity and successfully helping Superman win the final battle. But before that all happened, there was this.

Not only is his dialogue snappier, but… it almost looks like he’s smiling.

As for Steel? He ran into another guy claiming to be Superman, despite a different power set and a different appearance. At first, Steel remained cynical. As time went on, by seeing the true hero behind the black tights and 90’s mullet, Steel came to realize that unlike the immature teen, the callous killer and the metal megalomaniac, this Superman was indeed legit.

Last I checked, Eradicator is in a coma, under Steel’s care. You’d think they would have done something with that by now.

Not only have zombies been done to death, but the joke about zombies being done to death has been done to death. If you’re going to do a zombie story these days, it has to stand out. I mean, from what I read of the Marvel MAX miniseries Zombie, it seemed really run of the mill. You need to change the ingredients to the zombie lore by either adding or subtracting. The Marvel writers removed the brain-dead instinct of the zombies to make Marvel Zombies interesting. Chris Ryall and Ashley Wood added robots and amazons to make their two miniseries (Zombies vs. Robots and Zombies vs. Robots vs. Amazons, of course) catch your imagination.

Awakening, by writer Nick Tapalansky and artist Alex Eckman-Lawn also removes a piece of what we usually subscribe to the zombie mythos. The entire concept of zombies is scary for a multitude of reasons and one of those is that once they’re on the scene, civilization dies in the blink of an eye. They’re dumb and slow, but they gain numbers like nobody’s business and become unstoppable, turning the world into ruins containing only several hundred survivors at best. It is rather frightening, but is it always necessary? You toss away the sudden apocalypse and you’re still left with shambling shells of humanity that only exist to tear you apart, no matter who you used to be to them.

The story takes place in Park Falls, where there have been a series of horrific murders and missing person reports. Our main character is Derrick Peters, a former police officer who finds himself investigating this phenomenon. He has only one real lead and it’s testimony from Cynthia, the town’s resident crazy woman (complete with SARS mask).

“If what Cynthia told me is true, it would fit with what’s happening here – to some degree, anyway. But it seems a little too bizarre to accept. And coming from Cynthia, there’s always the potential for… inaccuracies. But if what she’s saying is true, then the shit is about to hit the fan.”

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Here’s our final round for the issue. Yesterday, Captain America and Hawkeye fought Sabretooth and Multiple Man to their hearts’ content. This story is going to have to move real quick if it’s going to wrap up in three pages. Good thing we have Quicksilver.

And that’s the end of that, at least for a couple weeks. As always, thanks go out to my imaginary friend ManiacClown. Thanks also to all of you who read this, enjoy it and make the effort to get others to read and enjoy this. Yes, Virginia. You can polish a turd.

Ultimate Edit Week 3!
Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

Welcome back. Previously on Ultimate Edit, Thor was seduced into fighting Valkyrie and Iron Man gave Blob a ride to the bus stop. That’s about it. We’re almost at the end of the issue, but for now, let’s have another moment with Captain America and Hawkeye.

This one had a lot of stuff cut out. ManiacClown really wanted to drive home the whole Sabretooth/Triple H comparison, but I didn’t think too many people would get it. I was going to have Captain America tell Sabretooth, “Tigger, please!”, but it was too forced and really didn’t go well sandwiched between hermanos’ whole Black History Month fiesta. And ManiacClown wanted Hawkeye to really, really hate apples for whatever reason.

We finish off the issue tomorrow, so I know you don’t want to miss that fun.

Day Seven!

Me and ManiacClown are back for another go. Last time, Tony Stark was really drunk (surprise) and Mystique tried to kill him by pretending to be Black Widow. What a stupid, stupid plan. The more I think of that plan, the worse it is. Of all the people to be, why a dead traitor who last tried to kill the guy you’re trying to seduce? At least if she was Captain America or a pizza delivery man, she’d have an outside chance of fooling someone who wasn’t drunk. At least that scene gave us Iron Man’s “sober enough” panel, which I admittedly thought was kind of cool. Now on with the show.

Join us tomorrow, as Captain America learns it’s time to play the Game.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

And we’re back. In yesterday’s installment, Quicksilver showed up to show off Scarlet Witch’s dead body, vikings had sex and something exploded. Sounds like a full day. Now we see what Iron Man’s up to. Fun fact: Tony Stark makes you feel he’s a cool exec with a heart of steel. And if you’re a woman, Tony Stark makes you feel other things.

Thanks to ManiacClown by having me take the high road with masturbation jokes. See you tomorrow.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

If you forgot about yesterday already, here’s the gist of it: Hawkeye and Captain America proved their worth in protecting the innocent by drugging an innocent Spider-Man, threatening to kill him and then leaving him to die alone in the snow. But if you want a real recap, you’re in luck.

Thanks to ManiacClown, who wrote a huge chunk of this one. And thanks to John Rambo, for killing half a continent over the course of 90 minutes. I salute you.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

In our last installment, Hawkeye just kind of showed up like a jerk and shot at Spider-Man. Spider-Man realizes that the only way to counter an excessive amount of sound effects is his own assortment of too many sound effects. Let’s watch!

Thanks to ManiacClown for sharing my burden of being constantly confused for MightyGodKing.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

What, you don’t think we forgot about this, did you? It’s another week of fun at 4th Letter with a brand new issue of Ultimates 3 to deal with.

If you missed the last issue, um… hm. The recap isn’t for another few pages. Bear with me. Here, just read this stuff about Spider-Man. You kids love Spider-Man, right? I promise, no Mephisto jokes.

Thanks again to ManiacClown for reminding me that most of the readers either don’t watch wrestling or are too young to get a Junkyard Dog/”THUMP!” reference.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

It’s a good time to be Gavok because in just a couple days, I’ll be going to the WWE Royal Rumble in Madison Square Garden. The event has always been my own little “Wrestling Christmas” and I look forward to it every year. I felt that I needed to prepare in my own little way.

Like I recently acquired the DVD set of all 20 Royal Rumble shows in a big, white cube. Considering I also have a collection of the first 20 Wrestlemanias sitting around, gathering dust, I figured I would watch them all in chronological order. Right now I’m in the middle of Wrestlemania 9 (taking place in 1993). I figure by the time I’m completely caught up, it’ll be time for this year’s Wrestlemania.

That at least explains why I’ve been kind of lax here lately, though it’s hardly noticeable with the good job hermanos and Hoatzin have been doing. I knew I needed to do another Wrestlecomic article. I could cover the Chaos Comics WWF stuff from the late-90’s, but I think I’ll wait until I reach those years in my Royal Rumble/Wrestlemania watching to dive into that. I found a guy selling a manga from what appears to be the same people behind the Hulk Hogan manga, making a big deal about a huge battle royal featuring a bunch of big 80’s wrestlers.

I got the idea that this was some big all-star crossover fight that would last for an entire comic, so even if I couldn’t read any of it, I could at least follow what was going on. When I got my book, I discovered that this battle royal was extremely brief. I tried pretending I could follow what was going on in the manga, but it wasn’t working. I know when I’m beat. At least the Engrish cover refers to the story as “Super Real Fiction!” which, now that I think about it, is a strangely accurate description of professional wrestling.

So the manga thing was a bust. Now what? I decided that if fishing in the past wasn’t going to work, I’d see what’s going on in the present. I picked up a comic called Headlocked: Work of Art, written by Michael Kingston and drawn by Randy Valiente.

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