King of Trios Round 1
Team ROH (Alex Payne, Rhett Titus and Shane Hagadorn) vs. Las Chivas Rayadas (Chiva II, Chiva III and Chiva IV)
Backstage, Shane Hagadorn tries to pull off a straightforward heel promo about how you’re about to watch the best match of the first round, but Titus interrupts and starts ranting about how they’re going to grab Las Chivas by the antlers and milk them all. Titus is definitely the only one who has any strong mic skills in this segment. After those three enter the ring, Las Chivas walk out and take photos with various fans in the crowd, acting like excited tourists. They enter the ring and annoy the ROH team by taking a picture of Payne and blinding him with the flash. The crowd is already behind these guys a bunch. Chiva III grabs the ref and dances with him to the crowd’s delight. Titus tries getting the same reaction by dancing the Macarena with the ref, but Chiva III spanks him from behind and riles him up.
Chiva III outwrestles Titus and they each make a tag. Chiva II stretches Payne across his back, stands in his own corner and allows Chivas III and IV to jump off the top rope and each double-stomp him. Then two of them stretch him across the mat while the other takes a photo of his tortured face. Titus and Hagadorn clean house and leave only Chiva IV in the ring. They work him over for an extended period of time and there’s a noticeable botch in the middle of it when Titus does a legdrop while Payne does a senton over the ropes and misses by a mile. The tide turns when Payne and Titus stand outside the ring and hold Chiva IV in the corner as Hagadorn goes for a Baseball Slide. Chiva IV moves out of the way and Titus gets hit instead. Chiva III tags in and gets some hits in before Hagadorn cuts off the momentum. Chiva II comes in, places Payne on the second rope and then delivers a nice Lungblower. Hagadorn breaks the pin, but Chiva II is able to knock him out of the ring and then backdrop Titus onto him. Las Chivas try to do some elaborate triple team attack on Payne, but completely screw it up and repeatedly drop him with no idea what they should be doing. Finally, Chiva III simply just does a moonsault and pins him. Team ROH return to the back while arguing with each other the entire time.
Yeah, this isn’t the best way to start the show, but I guess it’ll only get better.
King of Trios Round 1
The Colony (Soldier Ant, Fire Ant and Worker Ant) vs. Team El Dorado (Go, Motosugu Shimizu and Michael Nakazawa)
A promo by Team El Dorado shows that the only one with any idea of how to speak English is Nakazawa, whose promo consists of claiming that they’ll crush the Colony like bugs. Well, luckily they have more going for them than original mic work. Worker Ant insists on giving Team El Dorado some “Worker handshakes”, a joke that took me years to get (lots of wrestlers like to give overly weak handshakes to show that they don’t work stiff) as the crowd hotly chants, “ANTS!” Fire Ant and Shimizu start it off with some fast-paced armdrags and headscissors, wasting no time in getting the match going. Go takes on Soldier Ant and rakes the mask, showing that he’s playing heel for at least this match. Soldier Ant keeps saluting Go no matter how many times Go forces Soldier’s arm down, distracting him to the point that Soldier Ant boots him in the gut and suplexes him.
Then the highlight of the match happens when Nakazawa enters and pours a disturbing amount of baby oil on himself. It isn’t audible, but in the crowd, I scream a horrified, “WHY?!” He turns to me and responds, “Because it’s SEXY!” Worker Ant tries to grapple with him, but he’s too slippery and he proceeds to slip and fall repeatedly no matter what move he tries. The crowd chants, “USE THE TOWEL!” and Worker Ant obliges, momentarily getting the best of Nakazawa until he’s able to slide his way out of his hold.
The El Dorado guys take turns beating on Worker Ant until Nakazawa comes back in, puts Worker Ant crotch-first on the top rope and drags him from one corner to the other. He oils himself up some more and announces a DDT. It backfires as he slips off Worker Ant and falls to the mat, leaving Worker Ant unscathed. Shimizu and Go run in and beat up Worker Ant some more and Go even goes for the mask at one point. Worker Ant gets a couple slaps in on Shimizu, brings him down with a neckbreaker and tags in Fire Ant. Fire Ant cleans house and sends all three opponents to the outside. Soldier Ant and Worker Ant toss Fire Ant onto them with the Antapult.
Nakazawa is rolled in and kicks out of a pin. He gets his bearings and gets Fire Ant with both a flying forearm and a spinebuster, but neither can put him away. Soldier Ant and Go face off and Go surprises him with a Spear out of nowhere, leading commentator Eddie Kingston to impersonate Paul Heyman and yell, “GO! GO! GO!” Rhyno-style. He clotheslines the living hell out of Soldier Ant, but Worker breaks the pin. The El Dorado team each get a quick, high-impact shot on Fire Ant, culminating in Nakazawa dropping him with an Olympic Slam. Fire Ant kicks out. Go and Shimizu hold Fire Ant up as Nakazawa – and I groan as I type this – pours baby oil into his mouth and spits it out like mist. Fire Ant ducks and Nakazawa’s partners are blinded. Fire Ant rolls him up, but it doesn’t take. The other ants come into the ring and they finish Nakazawa off with the Ant Hill. Way better match.
King of Trios Round 1
The Sea Amigos (Call-Me-Kevin, DW Cycloptopuss III and Unibouzu) vs. the Order of the Neo Solar Temple (UltraMantis Black, Crossbones and Hydra)
UltraMantis gets to do two promos on this one. First is a backstage one where he boasts about knowing the Sea Amigos’ weakness. He elaborates during the entrance, as he remains on the ramp and discusses how he has friends in high places. This leads to him introducing Kaiju supervillain Dr. Cube, who takes a social media friend photo alongside UltraMantis, hands him the Sea Amigos’ weakness in the form of a bottle of tartar sauce and then joins him for some simultaneous maniacal laughter.
Crossbones and Hydra attack the Sea Amigos from behind and we’re off. When fighting Cycloptopuss, Crossbones gets scolded for punching him directly in the eye. Crossbones rushes him for an Avalanche, but receives an elbow to the face. Cycloptopuss jumps off the second rope for a senton, only to miss completely. He rolls out and Call-Me-Kevin enters, immediately dragged into the Order’s corner to be punished by all three of them. UltraMantis repeatedly drops him with headbutts, tags in Hydra and Hydra throws Kevin from the ring. Unibouzu, with all sorts of spikes protruding from his body, turns out to be a big challenge as Hydra can’t quite grapple with him. Crossbones kicks him in the back of the head from behind and splashes onto him from the ropes, but that does just as much damage to himself because, you know, spikes. Cycloptopuss tags in and goes to town with a spinning attack.
The Sea Amigos each hold an Order member in a corner and deliver mounted punches. Call-Me-Kevin sets up UltraMantis for a moonsault, misses, UltraMantis tosses tartar sauce onto everyone – sold like acid – and then puts Call-Me-Kevin away with a Praying Mantis Bomb. Call-Me-Kevin is carried back by his partners until falling onto his face. Hm. You’d think this would have qualified UltraMantis for a Kaiju title shot.
King of Trios Round 1
Team Egypt (Amasis, Ophidian and MECHA Mummy) vs. Team Quackenbush (Mike Quackenbush, Shane Storm and Jorge Rivera)
This is what CHIKARA is all about. A masked, breakdancing Pharaoh running down his enemies while backed up by a sinister snake man and a Japanese import dressed as a robot mummy, doing nothing but flexing and shaking in the background. Beautiful.
Jorge Rivera comes out in his classic Skayde mask, but after entering the ring, Quackenbush removes it for him. Rivera goes up against Ophidian and while he should on paper outclass him, Ophidian surprises him by hanging in there and even armdrags Rivera out of the ring, followed by a tope. Storm and Amasis enter next and have themselves an indy standoff before tagging and giving us Mike Quackenbush vs. MECHA Mummy, which commentator Bryce refers to as his own personal dream match. Quack tries running his shoulder into him a couple times, but it only hurts himself. Eventually these attempts lead to Quack running into Mummy’s boot. To the boos of the crowd, MECHA Mummy begins doing a mechanical version of the Hogan ear taunt before completely missing a legdrop. Quack gets back up and dropkicks him out of the ring, followed by a flipping attack off the top rope.
Storm comes into the ring and is met with Amasis holding up a swaying Ophidian, doing their infamous spot where they hypnotize their opponent. Dazed and confused by this attack, Storm falls prey to Mummy’s clothesline. The Egyptians target Storm and at one point Mummy starts hitting robotic Dusty Rhodes elbows on the poor traffic regulator. The Osirian Portal guys do a series of double-teams in the corner and Ophidian props Storm onto the top of the turnbuckle for a hurricanrana. Storm shoves him to the mat, waves goodbye and jumps out of the ring, constituting a tag.
Quack enters the ring and clears it until it’s just him against MECHA Mummy once again. Quack delivers a superkick, MECHA Mummy teeters back and forth until finally falling over. Various members of each team keep running in one at a time to clear the ring until MECHA Mummy sends Storm flying out by launching himself off the second rope with both fists out. Quack reenters and slams Mummy in the face with his palm. Mummy teeters. Another palm strike. He continues to teeter. Quack runs the ropes, ducks a clothesline and nails one more palm strike. MECHA Mummy goes down… but it’s not over! He rolls to the outside and puts on his newest enhancement!
Uh oh! Everyone on Team Quack gets a giant, metal palm strike to the noggin, saving Quack for last. Storm and Rivera prevent the pin from happening. Mummy holds Rivera in an abdominal stretch, Ophidian does a grapevine Cobra Clutch on Quack and Amasis nails Storm with a 450 splash. Storm kicks out and his partners power out of the submissions. As Rivera deals with keeping on Mummy and Storm attacks Amasis, Quack reverses the Cobra Clutch into a Backpack Stunner. That doesn’t get him the pin, so he does a Tombstone, bounces up and finishes the snake man off with the Quackendriver 2. Quack and friends move on to the second round.
King of Trios Round 1
Team Dr. Keith (Brodie Lee, Jimmy Olsen and ???) vs. Team WTF (Cheech, Cloudy and mc KZ)
Backstage, Brodie is incensed at Jimmy because Colin is most definitely not there and they’re going to get stuck with a random draw to round out the team. Jimmy sadly keeps insisting that Colin will be there for them, but Brodie won’t hear it. mc KZ raps on the way to the ring, but Lord knows I can’t understand a single thing he says. As Brodie feared, Leonard Chikarason pulls out Colin’s replacement from a list of random names. First pulled out is “Colin Delaney”, trolling the audience. The ref checks the back and Colin’s not here. Next selected is Johnny Cashmere. The ref checks the men’s bathroom (a reference that is actually pretty risqué for CHIKARA) and doesn’t find anyone, so they try once again. This time they get Retail Dragon, a lower-carder CHIKARA wrestler who retired a year earlier. He is at the arena and will enter in Colin’s place. The crowd is very disappointed in this, but it leads into something fantastic in Night 2.
Brodie is also not happy with this choice and proceeds to bully Retail throughout the entire match, mainly glaring him down whenever offered a high five. Jimmy and KZ start it off and KZ grapples Jimmy into various hip-hop positions, like crossing his arms while forcing him onto one knee. Jimmy gets frustrated, tags in Brodie and the big man scares KZ out of the ring. Cheech comes in and works through Brodie’s strength and size through a series of lucha counters. Brodie exits the ring and it’s Retail’s time to shine. He and Cheech charge each other and go for the same strikes at the same time, hitting each other’s limbs and hurting themselves. Brodie isn’t amused, especially when Team WTF take Retail apart through teamwork. Cheech and Cloudy hold him in place while crossing his arms as KZ bounces off the ropes and dropkicks him. Retail finally gets his bearings against Cheech and sends him to the outside. He prepares for a tope, but when running towards the ropes, Brodie pulls them down and sends Retail tumbling out. Jimmy comes in, hops out and DDTs the awaiting Cheech.
Brodie puts the hurt on Cloudy, including a nice pumphandle suplex. He gets distracted via fending off against Cheech and KZ, plus taking a second to glare down at Retail yet again and this allows Cloudy to get back into it and get the best of all three of his opponents, tipping the scales back into his team’s favor. Cheech targets Retail Dragon, but then finds himself faced with Brodie again. He sidesteps the running boot and powerslams the big man. Brodie kicks out, so Cheech follows up with a Dragon Hurricanrana off the top. Retail and Brodie find themselves outside of the ring and fall victim to Cheech and KZ diving out onto them. Jimmy tries the same, but gets punched in the gut by Cloudy before he can make the leap.
Cheech and Cloudy work together on Brodie with a bunch of double-strikes, but even a pair of superkicks are shrugged off. After a second attempt at it, they finally bring him down with their double-team move, the STOh Snap. Jimmy breaks the pin. Jimmy performs a neat flipping piledriver move on Cheech just before Retail lets loose a flurry of strikes on KZ in the corner. Brodie grabs his makeshift partner and flings him out of the ring before delivering a boot to KZ. Lee holds both members of Up in Smoke over his shoulders and Jimmy tries for some kind of move where he jumps off the ropes, double-stomps the guys on Brodie’s shoulders and then I guess lands on KZ. Unfortunately, they screw up and everyone just kind of falls over. Brodie commands Retail to get up and do one of his flippy top-rope moves onto the three laid-out opponents. Retail jumps off with a Corkscrew Splash and all three guys move out of the way. Team WTF clear the ring, hit Retail with Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Cheech and KZ finishes him off with a top-rope splash.
Team WTF win and Brodie is none too happy. He helps up Retail Dragon, only to lay him out with a running boot to the face. The crowd is pretty cool with this and even chant, “BRODIE!” Jimmy seems curious as to whether Retail Dragon is really Colin under the mask, but Brodie tells him to get going.
King of Trios Round 1
Team IPW-UK (Martin Stone, Sha Samuels and Terry Frazier) vs. Naptown Dragons (Drake Younger, Dustin Lee and Scotty Vortekz)
A backstage segment shows that the IPW-UK guys have solid mic skills, though they don’t say anything of much worth other than how they’ve traveled halfway across the world and refuse to lose in the first round. As three loud jerks from England, they have the perfect theme song in “Vindaloo” by Fat Les. These guys heel it the hell up when they walk to the ring. Stone even spits water at some fans! When the Naptown Dragons enter the ring, the IPW guys immediately put the boots to them and the crowd chants, “USA!” in retaliation. All three Dragons are Irish whipped across the ring, duck some clotheslines and each hit a forearm attack to knock the Englishmen out of the ring. A huge brawl erupts on the outside and among the madness, Vortekz does a moonsault off the top rope.
The brawl continues with Stone and Samuels showing that they’re just as rugged as Younger and his ilk by matching them blow for blow. Vortekz delivers a Slingshot to Samuels from the top of the ramp, causing him to tumble back down towards the ring. On the other hand, Stone suplexes Younger onto the concrete floor. In the ring, Frazier dominates Dustin as the brawling continues around them, but gradually, order finds its way into the match and everyone stands in their correct corners. The IPW trio continues to work on Dustin with Frazier at one point hitting a knee drop from the top rope. The thing here, which was far more noticeable being there, is that these guys are so good at heeling it up that they have the whole arena in the palm of their hand. Usually during this part of the match, it would get relatively quiet outside of the occasional chant for the face team. Here, the guys on the apron are constantly antagonizing the crowd to the point that everyone is completely restless. You don’t notice it at first with the DVD, but the people are MAD at these guys and are pretty vocal about it.
As an aside, I do remember them calling a fan or wrestler a “toe rag” at some point in the show and somebody in the front row asked what that means. I believe it was Samuels who toned down the act and politely gave a definition before turning back towards the action.
Stone sets up a back suplex off the top rope, but gets elbowed off. Dustin cannonballs himself off the ropes and crawls towards his corner, only to have Frazier tag in and pull him away. He’s shoved into the IPW corner, has Samuels and Frazier ready to double-team him and instead rolls between them and makes the tag to Younger. The Dragons clean house and Younger holds up Frazier in a Torture Rack before turning it into a Death Valley Driver. This starts a chain of wrestlers hitting huge moves and the victims’ partners breaking the pins until the ring is littered with half-conscious bodies. Younger and Stone start trading blows, but Younger runs right into a spinebuster. Stone then gives him one of those hanging DDTs like Randy Orton always uses, but draped over the top rope instead of the second. Younger rolls out after the impact, saving his skin. Unfortunately, his partners don’t do any better as Samuels holds Vortekz in a Boston Crab and Frazier holds Dustin in the Crippler Crossface. Keep in mind, this is early 2008! That incident is still very fresh, so when Dustin and Vortekz each tap, the fans are not cool with it.
Leaving victorious, Team IPW-UK sing along with the chorus of their theme, mainly the part about scoring one more point than you. The Naptown Dragons momentarily get back in the ring to soak up some cheers from the fans before going on their way.
King of Trios Round 2
The Colony (Soldier Ant, Fire Ant and Worker Ant) vs. Las Chivas Rayadas (Chiva II, Chiva III and Chiva IV)
This one makes up for Las Chivas’ earlier encounter by being endlessly silly. Both sides appear friendly towards each other and Las Chivas ask Bryce to take a photo of all of them together. Bryce does so as all the ants and goats put their arms around each other’s shoulders. All at once, this turns into a string of headlocks, except for the one Chiva not a part of this. He bounces off the ropes, hits them with his shoulder and they all go down. Then they become a chain of ants and goats putting each other in headscissors until one of Las Chivas grabs the bottom ant by the legs, flips everyone over and turns it into a giant Boston Crab.
The Human-Goat-Ant-Centipede… Crab.
That ends due to a rope break. Bryce demands one in and two out per team, but the six wrestlers just stand around him in a circle. Then they huddle around him and dance in a circle. At this point, Bryce has had enough of their wackiness and freaks out at them. The Colony and Las Chivas are all hit hard by this and seem sad. Bryce composes himself and says, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” The two trios all hug him and things continue.
I have to admit here that calling these Chivas matches is hard because Chiva III and Chiva IV are almost impossible to tell apart. I just have to guess and hope I’m right at keeping track of who is who.
Soldier and Chiva III (I guess) start off. During their opening exchanges, Soldier drops Chiva III on his head rather hard… at least for so early. He and his partners keep coming in to hit some kind of drop strike (ie. elbow, knee, splash) before rolling out of the ring, constituting a tag. This repeats for a bit until Chiva III gets up and Fire Ant punches him in the face. This hurts Fire Ant. Soldier Ant comes in and does a saluting forearm. This hurts Soldier Ant. Worker Ant plays it smart by punching him in the gut, but Chiva III then rams into him, sending him tumbling into the corner. Chiva IV is tagged in and delivers a head drop move that a confused and commentating Mitch Ryder regards on the spot as “the Goat Driver”. Chiva III sets up a superplex, gets shoved off, rushes back over and eats a knee to the face and then counters Worker Ant’s Tornado DDT by throwing him out of the ring. Unfortunately for the goat, that also means Worker’s tagged out. He turns around to eat a Missile Dropkick courtesy of Soldier Ant.
The Colony set up the Antapult on Chivas II and III, but Chiva IV saves them by taking Fire Ant out of the picture, taking his place while Soldier and Worker don’t notice, moonsaults off of them, but then misses a double clothesline. Soldier and Worker duck the clothesline and tope out onto the awaiting Chivas on the outside. Chiva IV and Fire Ant reverse each other’s finishers back and forth, but Fire Ant lands a brainbuster and would have it if not for the other Chivas breaking the pin. Chiva IV dives out onto Worker and Soldier, allowing the other two to fiddle with their camera. Chiva III does a twisting senton to the outside as Chiva II takes a photo. Fire Ant gets him with a Sunset Flip, but Chiva II thinks fast and breaks the pin by taking a picture and blinding Fire Ant with the flash. Afterwards, he delivers a Tiger Bomb. Las Chivas suspend Fire Ant across their shoulders, then do a triple Stunner. Fire Ant kicks out.
The other ants run in and regain control with each one stomping a mudhole in one of their opponents in three of the corners. Chiva III is picked up and thrown into Chiva IV, then the Colony run together and deliver a triple dropkick on Chiva II. He kicks out. The ants and goats go through a pattern of missed top rope maneuvers until Chiva III misses a moonsault, but lands on his feet. An awaiting Fire Ant gives him a nice dropkick, sending him into the corner. He’s set up onto the top rope and Fire Ant succeeds in pulling off a second-rope Beach Breaker. Chiva III is pinned and the Colony advances to Night 3.
Up on the ramp, Vin Gerard looks on. When he sees the comradery between masked teams, he walks out of the arena in disgust.
King of Trios Round 2
BLKOUT (Eddie Kingston, Ruckus and Joker) vs. the Order of the Neo Solar Temple (UltraMantis Black, Crossbones and Hydra)
We’re treated to an Eddie Kingston promo and while I can’t remember anything really said in there, it’s Kingston so it’s good. Once the Order enter, they’re destroyed by BLKOUT. Kingston swats at Crossbones, Crossbones ducks a backfist, delivers some stiff kicks and then enziguris Kingston hard enough to roll him out of the ring. Pretty awesome way of treating Crossbones like a big enough deal.
UltraMantis does a lucha-based offense to keep Ruckus guessing, sends him outside, stands on the apron and Ruckus runs his shoulder into UltraMantis’ ankle, tripping him. Hydra and Joker doesn’t seem like an even match, especially when Hydra teases his empty power set, but he fakes him out by using his speed and armdrags him out of there. He follows up with a crossbody to the outside, but gets caught and thrown back in where Ruckus waits for him with a cartwheel into a splash. From there on, BLKOUT plays around with the faux muscleman. Joker and Ruckus each do a plancha in and land on the laying Hydra and Kingston hints the same, only to just walk into the ring and kick him. Hydra tries to get to his feet, but is slapped down. Kingston mock claps at the crowd. Joker gets back in, sits Hydra up and gives him a stiff dropkick to the back of the skull, causing Kingston to very audibly say, “Aw, sucks to be you!”
Hydra is repeatedly murdered, but keeps kicking out. Kingston holds him up and laughs, “Gotta be kidding me!” only to be interrupted when Hydra pulls him in, drops him with a Flatliner and rolls away for the tag. Crossbones outwits Joker and Ruckus, then UltraMantis joins the party. UltraMantis and Crossbones pick up Joker Dudley Death Drop style, then drop him onto Hydra doing a Lungblower. Joker kicks out. Crossbones is thrown into the corner, where he endures Ruckus backflipping into him, Kingston giving a Yakuza Kick and Joker’s patented Cannonball. UltraMantis foolishly runs in to face all three BLKOUT members alone and receives three dropkicks to the head at once for his troubles. Hydra breaks the pin and then goads Kingston and Ruckus to come after him. He falls back and pulls down the top rope, sending the two tumbling. Hydra faces Joker on his own and ends up on his shoulders. Joker turns this into the Joker Driver, a crazy finisher where he curls him up and sends him down onto the back of his neck like a reversed powerbomb into a pin.
Egads. That gets the three-count. UltraMantis slides into the ring to protect Hydra from any more pain and gets stomped on by BLKOUT. Crossbones runs in and scares them off. As he and UltraMantis help their fallen partner to the back, the crowd loudly chants, “HYDRA!”
King of Trios Round 2
Team Quackenbush (Mike Quackenbush, Shane Storm and Jorge Rivera) vs. Team WTF (Cheech, Cloudy and mc KZ)
Both sides shake hands first. Quackenbush vs. KZ is fast-paced and filled with lots of armdragging and slaps, including a rather hard slap to the top of the head from Quack. They do a standoff ending to the exchange and KZ seems reluctant to shake hands, making me wonder if he was legit angry about the slap. Cloudy faces Storm and Storm goes for That Japanese Move early, missing completely. Cloudy sends him out with a headscissors takedown. Rivera keeps putting Cheech in elaborate submission holds with Cheech working hard to escape each one. He gets out and puts Rivera in a prone position, only to let him stand up and turn around into Cheech scaring him. Rivera tags Quack. Quack ends up in Team WTF’s corner and Cheech slaps him in the chest. Quack angrily slaps KZ on the chest. When Cheech gives him a second slap, Quack angrily slaps Cloudy. Then he brings his team in and they proceed to outsmart Team WTF with a series of lucha moves, a bunch of slaps and then everybody spins around and jumps at the same time.
I don’t know if I ever really understood this spot.
Team Quack sends all three members of Team WTF out of the ring, hint at some dives, but then do a fakeout. The rapper and his stoner pals rush the ring and clear it, centering their attention on Quack before shifting the focus to Rivera. He’s worked on until they drape him over the top rope and all dropkick him to the floor. Storm comes in and ends up in peril (“guy in peril” appears to be his occupation during these tournaments), but he eventually retakes the advantage and fights off all three, culminating in a nice German suplex on Cheech, followed by knocking him out of the ring with That Japanese Move. Cloudy enters and delivers the Yoshi Tonic. Quack breaks the pin and Cloudy tries the Yoshi Tonic on him. Quack reverses it into a powerbomb, both rolling out after the impact. Rivera puts KZ in a Pendulum Boston Crab and walks around with KZ suspended beneath until Cheech dropkicks him in the chest. Cheech and Quack block each other’s finishers, Cheech and Cloudy do an assisted powerslam on Quack and he kicks out. Storm sets up the Air Raid on Cloudy, but he escapes and he and Cheech do a two-man German suplex before diving out onto Quack.
KZ gives Rivera a Fireman’s Carry into a powerbomb, but he can’t get the pin. He fixes for a splash off the top and misses, leaving him open for an elaborate roll-up and finishes the match. Team Quack advances and some fans are noticeably upset, booing the proceedings despite everyone in the ring getting along.
King of Trios Round 2
Team IPW-UK (Martin Stone, Sha Samuels and Terry Frazier) vs. the Golden Trio (Hallowicked, Delirious and Helios)
Our main event begins with a loud, “BAH!” chant for Delirious. The IPW trio shout, “Hush, hush, hush your gums!” and the translation is lost on the American fans who respond with a Bruiser Brody-style, “HUSS! HUSS!” chant while doing the hand motion. They enter the ring to sing their own English chant, interrupted when the bell rings and Delirious goes into a sudden fit and scares them away. Classic Delirious! When Delirious starts off against Stone, he starts mumbling his usual words, but in a mocking English accent. It’s pretty amazing.
They challenge each other with shoulder blocks, ending when Delirious scares Stone off with his craziness. Hallowicked wipes the floor with Frazier and brings in Helios for clean-up. Frazier gets an immediate DDT, tags in Samuels and Samuels gets tripped by Helios. Helios and his partners take turns doing falling strikes on the man while tagging in and out. Samuels crawls into the corner and begs off, giving him ample time to pull Helios in and smack his head across the turnbuckle. Helios ends up taking a lot of damage from Team IPW-UK. At one point, Samuels steals a fuzzy, pink hat from a fan and wears it, before putting it on Helios and slapping him.
Helios makes a comeback attempt, but gets silenced when Stone German suplexes him. Shortly after, he leapfrogs over him and dashes for the tag. Hallowicked delivers running boots to everyone. They end up on the outside where Delirious fakes a tope, screams at the Englishmen to keep them distracted and Helios jumps over him and lands on all three opponents. Delirious smashes his knee into Frazier’s skull with the Panic Attack and follows with the Bizarro Driver. Frazier kicks out. Stone and Samuels try to backdrop Helios and it’s reversed into a double DDT. Frazier pulls off a Jackhammer against Hallowicked, but it isn’t good enough to pin him. Hallowicked recovers and puts Samuels across his shoulders, setting it up so that Helios can jump off the top, double-stomp off Samuels and then dropkick Stone on the way down. Hallowicked follows with Go 2 Sleepy Hollow on Samuels and Delirious jumps onto a prone Samuels with his top-rope attack Shadows Over Heck.
Frazier rescues his partner from being pinned. Delirious runs at Frazier and is picked up for a Rock Bottom with a crazy amount of hang time. Hallowicked breaks the pin. Hallowicked gives Frazier a Sky High Powerbomb and this time it’s broken up by Stone. Just like in the last match, Samuels performs a Boston Crab (this time on Helios) while Frazier does the Crippler Crossface (this time onto Delirious). Hallowicked saves them both by booting Samuels in the face, grabbing Frazier and wrapping him up with the CHIKARA Special. The last match of the night ends with Frazier tapping out.
Celebrating their victory, Delirious mutters gibberish at the cameraman where he discusses eating raw meat or something. Once he’s done, Helios walks over to the camera and says, “Whatever he just said. AHH!” Being slightly clearer, Delirious gets his hands on the microphone and announces that, “Golden Trio will be KING of Trios!” They go off to the back, leaving the uncouth Englishmen annoyed and angry at their failure. As they make their way back up the ramp, some fans sing “Na, Na, Hey, Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” and one loses his mind, screaming, “Don’t tell us the na, na, na, na!”
Strong way to start the tournament outside of that one ROH/Chivas match. Here’s the brackets so far.
Tomorrow we’ll see One Man Gang in his greatest challenge ever. Stay tuned.