Wrestling company CHIKARA has gone through some interesting stuff in the last nine months. They died and did a rebirth, partially told through a series of YouTube movies that will be shown in its full form in a theater setting in a couple months. So yes, weird.
For Den of Geek US, I’ve been working on a primer for the Death and Return of CHIKARA angle as told via a who’s who of all the players involved. While that should be going up sometime next week or so, there’s one part that I felt such joy in writing about and that’s Archibald Peck. The time-traveling marching band leader’s ridiculous storyline since starting in CHIKARA has been an absolute treasure and even summing up his recent behavior in a couple paragraphs felt wrong. So join me as I go in-depth on the man.
It all started in early 2011. CHIKARA started releasing videos hyping up that the Band was coming. The videos acted like this was a major huge deal and included black and white historical footage and the first two seconds of the New World Order theme. The timing here was key. Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and X-Pac, three major members of the nWo, just left TNA, where they called themselves the Band due to rights issues. CHIKARA was about to build up towards its annual King of Trios tournament, so were they really suggesting that Nash, Hall and Pac were on the way to compete? It was possible. Those guys did do a lot of indy appearances. On the other hand, it probably wouldn’t have been a good idea in the long run due to their personalities and the fact that only one of them was capable of putting on a decent match at the time.
As it came closer to the debut time, it became a little more apparent that it wasn’t going to be the nWo in CHIKARA. Nash just made a big appearance in WWE and Hall was in no condition to compete. Coincidentally, X-Pac would show up at King of Trios a few months later as the 1-2-3 Kid, but the whole “Band is coming!” thing was just a red herring. The band was really Archibald Peck and his majorette Veronica.
It usually takes people months to pick up on how they’re “Archie and Veronica.”
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve posted anything about CHIKARA Pro Wrestling and with good reason: CHIKARA is dead. Sort of.
Eight month ago, they did a big, climactic internet PPV during the mid-point of their season. During the show, a disgruntled former referee revealed that Titor, the company owning CHIKARA, was really involved in some shady stuff. The brass got really mad about this and during the main event, a wave of security guards washed over the ring and removed both the wrestlers and the acting referee. The set was destroyed, the live feed went out and everyone was told to go home. After that, all of CHIKARA’s future dates were cancelled and the company was gone.
After a month or so of inactivity, Icarus, a longtime heel, decided that he wouldn’t let CHIKARA die and tried to find assistance in a rebellion. He got some fans to help him, but finding other wrestlers to rally on his side was easier said than done. A series of YouTube videos have been released over the past few months called Ashes that tell the story of Icarus’ search for allies, as well as other subplots involving CHIKARA talent (mainly Fire Ant and Green Ant searching for their missing teammate Soldier Ant and tag team 3.0 venturing to Parts Unknown to find time-traveling marching band leader Archibald Peck). The videos were initially released weeks apart, but have since been released weekly and several have popped up in the past week.
As for actual wrestling, there were several affiliated promotions that popped up right before CHIKARA went under. Wrestling is Intense, Wrestling is Respect, Wrestling is Cool, etc. Put them all together with Kaiju Big Battel and you spell out “CHIKARA”. These shows were pretty uneventful until they were snuffed out. Various heel factions from CHIKARA’s past would show up and end these promotions, revealing some kind of massive Secret Society of Superheels. Dr. Cube and his Posse, the GEKIDO, the BDK, Sinn Bodhi and the Odditorium, the Colony XTREME Force and the Wrecking Crew have joined together as an unstoppable army.
A lot of this is going to come to a head at National Pro Wrestling Day 2014, a free show featuring at least 7 matches that’s trying to raise money for the Against Malaria Foundation. It’s this Saturday, February 1st and starts up at 1pm. Here are the announced matches:
Colt Cabana vs. Drew Gulak
(Best 2 Out of 3 Falls) Mike Bennett vs. Hallowicked The Baltic Seige vs. Bloc Party
(Six-Man Tag Match) Sonjay Dutt vs. Eric Corvis Juan Francisco de Coronado vs. Shynron
(No Disqualification Match) Eddie Kingston vs. Francis O’Rourke Heidi Lovelace vs. Joe Pittman
(For Wrestling is Heart’s La Copa)
Some of those matches should be really good, but naturally, I’m more interested in seeing the Return of CHIKARA plotline move forward. Really, that’s what most people are interested in because the backlash to this whole storyline has been brutal. It looks like they’ll be coming back wholesale in May, but NPWD should be good enough for the meantime.
It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about inventive wrestling promotion CHIKARA and with good reason. At the end of their show in early June, which I went to, security goons swarmed the main event, destroyed the set, told everyone to go home and CHIKARA was declared finished. Many weren’t sure what the game was here, but time has shown that it’s part of some kind of crazy-ass storyline based on bringing CHIKARA back.
Five months have passed and while the events driving it forward are picking up, there’s not enough for me to really go in-depth on. A lot of stuff is happening, but what it’s actually leading to is still the big question, so I’ll table that for later. Either way, it’s interesting, especially because they’re putting so much time and effort into something where the fans can’t even pay them via going to their shows or buying their DVDs.
Luckily, there’s still stuff going on where the CHIKARA regulars can keep themselves busy. There’s a series of regional spin-off promotions called Wrestling Is, such as Wrestling Is Cool, Wrestling is Art, Wrestling is Respect, etc. Coincidentally, these are being picked off one-by-one by various villains from CHIKARA past, like some kind of Secret Society of Superheels, somehow tying into the big CHIKARA return story.
But while all of this is going on, the absolutely BEST thing in the wrestling world is Chuck Taylor’s Instagram, which is nothing but short videos of the new 24/7 Hardcore Championship. See, back in the early 00′s, WWF had their Hardcore Championship with the special rule that as long as you had a referee on hand, the champ had to defend it any time and any place. This led to ridiculous segments of champion Crash Holly being accosted while at an arcade and fighting his way through the ball pit.
The CHIKARA/Wrestling Is alumni have brought back the gimmick, only they decided to get even weirder and more hilarious with it. It all started with the Estonian Thunderfrog (whose gimmick is that he is Thor Frog as a wrestler, complete with hammer that only he may lift) winning a battle royal within seconds. Then he found out how hard holding onto it can be while talking up how he was going to buy a new car in celebration.
This Sunday at 4:00 (with a free pre-show at 3:30), my favorite indy wrestling promotion CHIKARA is doing their next big internet pay-per-view in the form of Aniversario: Never Compromise, celebrating the 11th anniversary of the company’s existence. While it’s their fourth run at iPPV, it’ll be the first time you’ll see me there, as I’ve got my tickets to the Trocadero in Philadelphia.
If you’re even a slight fan of wrestling and don’t know anything about CHIKARA, I’ve written up a much-enjoyed primer a year ago. It can probably use an update, but here’s what you need to know: this is a wrestling show where the last event’s title match ended due to TIME TRAVEL PARADOX. CHIKARA, baby.
Since it’s been a year, who’s who and what’s what? A lot of this, the 12th season, revolves around this man, Wink Vavasseur.
Since the beginning of 2011, Wink has been the Director of Fun of CHIKARA, the guy who makes the matches. He got the job due to his father’s company Worldwide Media Development Corporation. At first, Wink was a welcome sight to the fans, as he replaced corrupt previous Director of Fun Dieter VonSteigerwalt, who was more dictator than director. While Wink came off as an egotistical corporate stooge with little knowledge on how wrestling works, he was harmless enough and stumbled upon a couple good ideas, such as the creation of CHIKARA’s Grand Championship and the season-long tournament to crown it. At worst, he was gullible and susceptible to the swaying of the unpopular members of the roster, leading to some decisions that gave them the upper hand.
One constant is that Wink isn’t too keen on champion Eddie Kingston and wants the title off of him. It started out as kind of a passive aggressive thing, but over time, it’s become more overt. He’s become more blunt in his corporate activities, which has painted him as an enemy to the eyes of the CHIKARA fans. After a couple things got out of his control, his father spoke down to him and warned him, “No more screw-ups.” Since then, Wink’s thirst for respect has driven various wrestlers out of the company via quitting and firing. Time will tell if his power trip will bring him higher or if his house of cards will crumble. Perhaps we’ll find out at Never Compromise.
(click to enlarge)
Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Now let’s look at the scheduled matches and the wrestlers involved.
Stipulation: Championship Match for the CHIKARA Grand Championship
At last year’s season finale, “the War King” Eddie Kingston decisively defeated Mike Quackenbush to be crowned the very first CHIKARA Grand Champion. The gruff anti-hero of CHIKARA has taken his spot seriously and has become a fighting champion, albeit usually defending against those who slight him in order to goad him into a defense. Over the year, he’s succeeded in taking down challengers Vin Gerard, Brodie Lee, Kevin Steen, Jigsaw, Dasher Hatfield, Sara Del Rey and Tadasuke. While insistent on defending the title of the company he loves, his body hasn’t been holding up entirely well over the year and his knee has had a bullseye on it for quite some time.
Tim Donst came to CHIKARA as a positive young kid trying to make a name for himself with his amateur wrestling background. Over time, he became bitter and turned on his friends, joining up with the invading stable, the BDK. He rose up the ranks in the BDK and ended up winning the Young Lions Cup during his tenure with the group. He became obsessed with proving himself to be the best Young Lions Cup winner of all time and this led to a lengthy feud with the original Young Lions Cup winner Hallowicked. Donst pulled every cheat he could and even tried outright murder against his rival, but in the end, Hallowicked won. Donst became a broken shell of a man after that, worshipping Hallowicked like a god, but feeling depressed over his own lack of identity. While the BDK is long disbanded, Donst and personal ring announcer Jakob Hammermeier remained a team together. They were best friends, but after the loss against Hallowicked, Donst has become cold, distant and abusive to the adorable Jakob.
Back in 2007, when Tim Donst was still very new, he was thrown into a match against a villainous Kingston. Back then, Kingston insisted on having a match against then-rival Hallowicked, but it was refused due to several issues. He took his aggressions out on Donst in a brutal match that first showed what kind of damage Donst was capable of fighting through. Over the years, they’ve clashed several times, always reminding of their first meeting. After Kingston’s last title defense, Donst attacked him and came to a realization that Kingston is the crux of all of his problems. Kingston never did get his commuppance for his bullying actions and yet people still cheer him. Donst started a credo that, “Karma doesn’t exist, but Tim Donst does.” The two were forced to team with each other in an 8-on-8 Cibernetico match, where Donst turned on Kingston near the end. When their team won and they were the only two remaining, the rules stated that they had to fight it out. That fit Donst just fine and through some underhanded actions, he took Kingston down with a warning that he’d take the Grand Championship at Under the Hood.
While I talk about CHIKARA all the time, it should be mentioned that recently they introduced a little sibling promotion called Wrestling is Fun!. WiF is kind of a side project based on how much CHIKARA has grown over the years. It’s a place where CHIKARA talent can do matches and run their own little storylines without stepping on the toes of the main roster’s happenings. It’s a place for new guys who need some experience, older guys who don’t currently fit in with CHIKARA’s year-long storylines and current members of the CHIKARA roster who are up for an exhibition.
I guess this is because Smart Mark is going to be taking over iPPV duties for CHIKARA and this is as good an excuse as any to test it out.
The show will feature eight matches. On tap are:
- Mr. Touchdown defending the WiF Championship Banana against Mike Quackenbush
- Hallowicked vs. assailANT
- Gran Akuma vs. Jaka
- Green Ant vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado (accompanied by Manuel Servanto)
- Dasher Hatfield vs. Icarus
- Fire Ant vs. Kobald
- The Estonian ThunderFrog vs. Kodama
- The Devastation Corporation vs. The Flames of Love
If anything, you should watch it because of that last match. It’ll be a 30-second squash, but the Devastation Corporation is made up of guys named BLASTER MCMASSIVE and MAX SMASHMASTER. Those are easily two of the greatest names in wrestling.
If you check this site regularly, you know that a week and a half ago, I went to Easton, Pennsylvania to check out CHIKARA’s 2012 King of Trios. The reason you would know is pretty much the same reason it’s taken me so long to even write about it: I just did an excessive amount of posts about the previous five years of shows. So I kind of needed to take a writing break.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talking about comics in a little bit.
I won’t get too in-depth on the trip, but it was easily one of the most fun weekends I’ve ever had. I was joined by my co-worker buddy Colin, his brother Sean and fellow internet writer guy and enthusiast of bat-related people Chris Sims. I had only met Sims once prior at Comic Con back in 2010 and he admittedly doesn’t even remember it. Anyway, after months of pestering him, I convinced him to fly over and check out the show. Everyone got along swimmingly and not a problem was to be had outside of my questionable driving. Sims is a really nice guy who I have a strong respect for, so it was great that he was able to make the trip.
I’m not going to go over the events of the show itself because you should really just check it out yourself. Only 24 hours after the third night, Smart Mark Video released all three shows. They’re available in streaming form for $10 each (Nights 1, 2 and 3), downloadable MP4 form for $12 (1, 2 and 3) and DVD for $15 (1, 2 and 3). While I do the first two options most of the time these days, I went with the DVDs because I felt the need to physically own them. I lucked out because for some reason my DVD cases are cherry-scented.
If you can only get one show, do Night 3. The second half of it is completely amazing stuff with the best comedy match, an incredible joshi match, a very violent singles contest and the finals, which itself is pretty epic. Also, the Tag Gauntlet earlier on introduces the first major CHIKARA appearance by my new favorite tag team, the Devastation Corporation, made up of Blaster McMassive and Max Smashmaster.
Somebody took the big comedy match from Night 3 and turned the highlights into a Vaudevillian silent film. Give it a look.
The Fan Conclave was an absolute blast. Jakob Hammermeier was schooling everybody in Smash Brothers Brawl, wrestlers took pictures with fans in front of a yearbook-style backdrop, Soldier Ant was playing Battleship with some folks and I got selected to take part in CHIKARA’s Not-Jeopardy gameshow. It’s just like Jeopardy with the differences of being hosted by Leonard F. Chikarason, it had the Swamp Monster remove the points squares off the wall and Icarus was there to make fun of you for getting the answer wrong… and often getting the answer right.
I did really well. In fact, I was cheated. You see, right before Final Not-Jeopardy, I was in the lead. I bet all but 100 points on the final question for strategy purposes. The final question was in the form of a sheet of paper asking various number-based questions (ie. how many people unmasked as Vokoder, how many matches has Mixed-Martial Archie won, how many moves is Johnny Saint a master of, how many title defense has Eddie Kingston had, etc.) then adding it all together. Nobody got it right. In fact, I was the closest by being only two points off! But then ol’ Chikarason had to suddenly curveball me with, “the closest without going over”. COME ON! This is Not-Jeopardy, not Not-Price is Right! So I got second place, netting me a $50 voucher for anything at the CHIKARA merch table.
The wrestlers were extremely cool in person. I found out that Chuck Taylor was reading up on the King of Trios Retrospective, which was major. At my B&N, one of my customers is Green Ant’s mother, so I awkwardly told him, “This is going to sound extremely weird and random, but I work at a Barnes and Noble and—” and he interrupted with, “Oh yeah, my mom.” Heh. Scott Parker and Shane Matthews both loved my vintage “Big Shot” Hardcore Holly t-shirt, especially when they saw the “NUT UP OR SHUT UP” text on the back. Matthews laughed and pointed out that he only said that catchphrase for like two weeks. I even briefly got to talk to the Warlord and told him that his match with the British Bulldog at Wrestlemania 7 is my all-time favorite match.
The best interaction was with Mr. Touchdown. I bought his t-shirt at the merch stand during one night’s intermission and he pulled out an 8×10 and a pen.
“Wait, before you go. What’s your name?”
“Gavin? Like Gavin Loudspeaker?”
“Okay. And how do you spell that?”
“What was that?”
He started writing. “G-A-V…?”
“All right. Here you go.”
And so, he gave me the signed 8×10. At the top of it? “To: NERD!“
(Thanks to Suben, Flameingblack and Strenuous Manflurry for helping me on some of the profiles)
So here we are. As of this writing, we’re one day away from the sixth annual CHIKARA King of Trios. It’s been a year and a half since the last show, so let’s get caught up.
Getting Caught Up…
Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur decided that after ten years of existence, CHIKARA is ready to have its own major singles title that everyone can compete for, rather than just those who qualify for the Young Lions Cup. To crown the Grand Champion, he put together the 12 Large Summit. Everyone on the roster would anonymously vote for someone to qualify. The twelve with the most votes would be split into two round robin tournaments. The winners of those tournaments would face off in the finals at the 2011 season finale.
Some believed that the finalists would be Eddie Kingston and Claudio Castagnoli, bringing everything full circle, but that wasn’t the case. Claudio’s downfall came from a slightly more surprising direction. One of the 12 Large participants was Sara Del Rey. Even though all of the BDK members were ordered to vote solely for Claudio, Sara somehow received two votes and Claudio received two less than he should have. It was little secret that Sara was getting more and more frustrated at the way Claudio and Ares were treating her and with Daizee Haze’s help, she was going to break out on her own. Claudio ended up striking against the two and put Haze on the shelf. Sara fought against the BDK and defeated various members in one-on-one matches, including Claudio in the 12 Large Summit. Claudio didn’t make the finals and ended up leaving CHIKARA so he could… play rugby and date hot Lithuanian women, I guess.
The BDK fell like dominos around this time. Ares was betrayed by a cowardly Tim Donst during a tag match where a loss meant having to give up the Eye of Tyr to UltraMantis Black and Hallowicked. Ares, along with Pinkie Sanchez, vanished from the company and after losing his lengthy feud to Green Ant, Tursas quietly retired from the business. For a little while, the BDK was just the lowly tag team of Donst and Jakob Hammermeier, but after Donst lost decisively in a match against Hallowicked and came to terms with not being the best Young Lions Cup holder in history, Donst endured crippling depression that led to the complete erasure of the BDK name.
UltraMantis Black freed Delirious from the Eye of Tyr’s spell and gave him back his free will. Delirious was less than grateful and has dedicated himself to ruining the next two years of UltraMantis’ life, just like how UltraMantis’ actions led to the ruin of two years of Delirious’ life. He’s since become more enigmatic and calm, quietly walking around in a hooded cloak while gaining the favor of the Batiri and Ophidian.
Eddie Kingston defeated Mike Quackenbush in the finals of the 12 Large Summit to become the first CHIKARA Grand Champion. Since then, he’s taken on all comers and has stood tall. This has been the one piece of good news for the company in terms of the title picture as a visiting Tadasuke won the Young Lions Cup in 2011 and went back to Japan with it. Similarly, the Young Bucks had won the Campeonatos de Parejas from FIST and now hold the belts in ROH territory. CHIKARA and ROH seem to be bordering on a feud, but it’s been more like a couple unrelated instances than a full-out war.
Speaking of war, a group calling themselves the GEKIDO had invaded CHIKARA in the form of evil versions of CHIKARA staples. Led by the mysterious 17, the invaders include the Shard, combatANT, deviANT and assailANT. Quackenbush was able to decipher that the evil copies of the Colony – otherwise known as the Swarm – are actually Jose and the two Franks, three failed Wrestle Factory Students who have been subtly namedropped for years. They couldn’t play nice and didn’t want to pay their dues, so they were taught how to wrestle by 17, master of the 17 forgotten holds. Since his debut, 17 broke Quack’s wrist and ended the careers of several other wrestlers. The main CHIKARA crew banded together and got a big, climactic win over the GEKIDO, but it seems at the cost of Mike Quackenbush’s sense of decency.
Going into King of Trios, Wink Vavasseur came up with a new idea called Chikarametrics. An idea that only appears to make sense to him, he uses the stats of each wrestler on the roster to figure out who would make the perfect teammate for them. A big chunk of the teams in this year’s tournament are the product of this idea and none of them are exactly happy about it. History has shown that teamwork is the key to survival on this stage no matter how talented each wrestler is on their own. They better learn to live with Wink’s decisions or they won’t last long at all.
Seems like the usual style of eight tournament matches the first night, four the second and three the last. There’s been no Rey De Voladores tournament announced, so that’s a bummer. The second night will feature Eddie Kingston defending the Grand Championship against Tadasuke. Will he be able to steal away that title to Japan as well? We’ll see.
King of Trios Semifinals
The Osirian Portal (Amasis, Ophidian and Hieracon) vs. the Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Green Ant)
Handshakes all around from the two trios. Green and Ophidian start it up with some opening grappling. Amasis and Soldier do some low key holds to each other. Hieracon and Fire continue the feeling out process. Fire is pulled into the Osirian Portal corner and Ophidian comes in to chop at him. The match starts to speed up and intensify between the two. Soldier and Green come in to fight Hieracon and Amasis with synchronized offense, leading to dual backdrops sending them to the outside. With the Portal nestled together outside, they’re prime targets for the Antapult. Only this time, the Portal guys grab Green and Soldier by the legs and drag them out before they can pull off the move. Ophidian puts Fire in the Cobra Clutch, but the ant is saved by Soldier doing a saluting forearm. All three Colony members get a shot at Ophidian, then move on to hitting Amasis with a bevy of corner assaults. He ends up falling into the corner and the Colony do a variation of FIST’s triple dropkick corner move.
They prepare for the Anthill on Hieracon, but Ophidian shoves them down, then follows Soldier out of the ring with a leaping corkscrew into a forearm. The Portal focus on Green, each getting their licks in quickly. Ophidian does a springboard senton and Fire breaks the pin. Fire tries fighting Ophidian and Amasis at the same time, but isn’t good enough to keep track of them both and it blows up in his face. They beat him down with teamwork and Hieracon ends it with a standing moonsault. Fire kicks out. Hieracon picks him up for a vertical suplex and Fire reverses it into a Stunner. The Portal switch it up and focus on beating down Soldier. They have him laid out in the middle of the ring and Ophidian and Amasis climb the ropes for the Osirian Sacrament. Fire and Green try to stop them, but it just causes them to direct their jumping attacks at these intruders instead of Soldier. Ultimately saved, Soldier is able to get up, grab Hieracon and put him down with a TKO. Hieracon kicks out, so Soldier locks on the CHIKARA Special. Amasis rushes in to make him break the hold. Ophidian gets on Amasis’ shoulders and performs a superplex on Soldier. Without missing a step, Hieracon picks him right up with this weird rolling Angle Slam thingy here.
Soldier kicks out. Green clotheslines both Amasis and Hieracon, then reminds everyone of his Viking-slamming might by bodyslamming them both.
Amasis does a rapid flurry of palm strikes on Green, bounces the ropes, Fire pulls the top down and Amasis flies out. Hieracon and Soldier both crawl into the empty ring and end up literally head-to-head. Hieracon’s offense gets a little on the sloppy side, but he’s able to reverse a TKO into a DDT and follow with a Shooting Star Press. Soldier kicks out. Hieracon goes back to the top, Soldier stands up and dropkicks him. He climbs to the top, puts Hieracon over his shoulders, does a saluting Inverted TKO off the top-rope and gets the pinfall. The Osirian Portal take the loss well and Amasis tells his friends straight up, “The rest is up to you.”
You may have noticed that King of Trios 2011 has a major Transformers motif going on. There’s a reason for that. As it turns out, Mike Quackenbush is good friends with musician Stan Bush, best known as that guy from the Transformers: The Movie soundtrack. His more modernized take on his memorable song “the Touch” is the official theme to King of Trios 2011. As part of that, he got to do a live performance of it at the Fan Conclave.
Also at the Conclave, they had a contest to see who could bodyslam Tursas. Many tried, including both fans and wrestlers, but nobody could do it. All of the sudden, Green Ant marched out and challenged him while wearing American flag Zubaz pants and a fanny pack. The two got in a scuffle and Green Ant briefly held him up. Before he could do anything, Jakob clipped Green Ant’s knee and Tursas crushed him. The rest of the Colony ran into the ring and Tursas backed off… for now.
Archibald Peck vs. ???
A little background on Archibald Peck. In the months leading up to King of Trios, CHIKARA started showing these videos on YouTube about how “the Band” is coming. The videos acted like it would be this major event with a split-second sample from the nWo theme song. As it turns out, the Band is the name for the former nWo guys in TNA. That led to speculation. Would CHIKARA really have a team of Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman show up in King of Trios, let alone at all? Would that be a disaster of epic proportions? Well, that didn’t happen. The Band turned out to be bandleader Marchie Archie and his valet Veronica. If it was someone less entertaining, this would have fallen flat. Luckily, while Archie isn’t the real Band, he is the real deal.
He’s announced an open challenge against anyone in the back. He comes out to a marching band cover of “Any Way You Want it” by Journey and, much like the nWo, starts his promo with a survey. What month is it? April? No. It’s irrelevant because as long as Archie and Veronica are around, it’s always MARCH MADNESS! A taker to his challenge shows up in Colt Cabana. I wonder if he and Matt Classic crossed paths backstage. Archie challenges him to a duel by slapping him across the face with his glove. Colt removes his boot and does the same as to accept.
As he tries to put that boot back on, Archie puts him in a headlock. Archie keeps attempting shoulderblocks, but he bounces right off each time. Then in one instance, he stops himself and takes out Colt’s feet. After Colt falls, Archie goes around celebrating like he just won the lottery. Maybe twice as long. Colt gets up and knocks him over with another shoulder and does a mock celebration. Archie doesn’t take this too well.
The crowd chants at Colt, “SAY YOU’RE SORRY!” but he refuses. He spends the next few minutes making an absolute fool out of Archie, as if Archie needed the help. Archie gets some offense in there and knocks Colt down. He climbs to the top rope, sees Colt already standing and shouts at him to lay back down so he can do his finishing move. Colt can’t believe this and the ref asks him to just humor him. When Archie does jump off the top, Colt gets up and punches him in the stomach. Archie gets some fortune when he kick-shoves Colt so that he hits the corner post shoulder-first. He tries another top-rope diving headbutt and Colt moves out of the way. A minute later he tries yet again and this time lands on Colt’s boot. Colt gets up and goes on a rampage of clotheslines and elbows, knocking Archie down again and again. And again. And again. And again and again and again. Archie keeps getting back up only to be knocked down. Colt even stops putting effort into his strikes.
He prepares a Butterfly Suplex and Archie’s able to reverse it into a Playmaker. He makes another trip to the top rope and gets crotched. As he’s sitting there prone, Colt runs over, jumps and nails him with his posterior. He goes to the top for a superplex and Veronica starts distracting the ref. During this, Archie pulls out a baton and clocks Colt in the skull. Colt goes down, Archie FINALLY lands a diving headbutt and he wins the match.
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