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Ultimatum Edit Week: The Annotations

August 9th, 2009 by | Tags: , , , ,

It took about nine months, but the comic miniseries Ultimatum had finally finished, meaning that the 4th Letter fan-favorite Ultimatum Edit is kaput as well. As always, ManiacClown and I had a blast and we hope you enjoyed it as well.

Thing is, we make a lot of references to random things that I’m sure fly over the heads of many. To help in retrospect, here’s a little page-by-page guide to what was going on in our heads.

WEEK ONE

Page 1

– The narration box is quoting the horrible Fantastic Four cartoon theme from the mid-90’s.

– The events Reed and Sue discuss are based on the Ultimate Fantastic Four/X-Men Annual two-parter that acted as a prelude to Ultimatum. It involves a bunch of superheroes from the future coming to the present in an attempt to change their reality, as their status quo has Invisible Woman ruling the world alongside Namor with an iron fist. In one scene, the regular Sue got in Wolverine’s face by unsheathing claws just like his, but made of her invisible force fields. She didn’t slice him or anything. She just whipped them out to threaten him. THEY ARE INVISIBLE!

– Thing is bringing up how that robot looks an awful lot like the scanner droids from the beginning of Empire Strikes Back.

Page 2

– The song here is the Marvel Superheroes Have Arrived, or whatever the official title of it is. Back in the 60’s, they had badly-animated cartoons for Hulk, Thor, Namor, Captain America and Iron Man. Those who were members of the Merry Marvel Marching Society would get a record of this theme song that mentioned all five of the heroes.

– Captain America and Iron Man discuss the events from Ultimate Captain America Annual. Ultimates 3 made a big deal about who the mysterious Black Panther was and it was revealed to be Captain America himself in the last issue with no explanation. They tied it up in that annual, where we see the origin of Ultimate Black Panther. Cap just about sums up his role in the story in Ultimatum Edit. The bottom line is that he lied to the team and put them in even worse danger for a hackneyed reason.

– Thor and Valkyrie’s training argument is based on Mrs. Claus demanding Santa Claus gorge himself before Christmas from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Page 3

– While going with the original 60’s Spider-Man theme would be easy, I instead went for the gnarly 90’s cartoon theme by the guy from Aerosmith. Yes, those are the lyrics.

– “Bendis” is of course Kong, a former bully who looks up to Spider-Man and figured out that he’s Peter out of nowhere. He’s bringing up a somewhat regular occurrence in Ultimate Spider-Man where one of the teenaged characters would get newfound powers and lose them, rendering them completely naked. Spider-Man and Eddie Brock with the black costume, Gwen with her Carnage powers, Mary Jane turning into Sasquatch and Liz Allan growing into her Firestar mutant powers.

– Gwen’s inclusion was strange at the time, since it hadn’t been explained in Ultimate Spider-Man. A long while back, the Carnage symbiote had murdered Gwen. It was later shown that the process had caused the creature to not only absorb her DNA, but all of her memories and personality. Sometime later, Venom absorbed all the symbiote-related stuff from Gwen/Carnage’s person, leaving only the human form of Gwen with no super-powered bells and whistles. By all intents and purposes, she is Gwen Stacy.

Page 4

– The theme here is from the Pryde of the X-Men pilot from the late-80’s. It’s goofy as all hell.

– The guy the X-Men are walking past is Bruce Banner, hence the famous sad music piano theme that normally played at the end of the Incredible Hulk TV show.

– Ultimate Nightcrawler was a total homophobe, hence this conversation.

Page 5

– The Ultimatum cast sing the opening build-up from AC/DC’s super-awesome song “Thunderstruck”.

Page 6

– Kitty is talking about Waterworld, the Kevin Costner movie where the world is entirely covered in water due to man messing with the environment.

Page 7

– I always thought it was weird how everyone always compared Michael Phelps to Aquaman. Come on! He’s totally Namor!

– Hancock, of course, is the superhero movie featuring Will Smith throwing a whale into the ocean and accidentally destroying a boat in the process.

Page 8

– The narration box is based on “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult.

Page 9

– Again, another old theme song. This time it’s from the Hulk’s 60’s cartoon.

– The weird totem thing is the Ultimate version of the Watcher, as introduced in Ultimate Origins. The Watcher is known for both witnessing important events, interfering when he truly needs to and telling us What If stories.

Page 11

– Beakman is the host of a kickass science kids show from the 90’s.

Page 12

– The “House of Ribs” gag is a continuation of another Ultimate parody. When they made a second animated movie based on Ultimates, it featured a bunch of “outtakes” from the first movie on the DVD. A running gag involved Iron Man constantly shilling Tony Stark’s House of Ribs in any way he could.

Page 13

– Again, Reed and Sue discuss that Ultimate Fantastic Four/X-Men Annual story. The dark future where Sue rules is because of the events in Ultimatum that kill Johnny, but at no point did they try to warn them about it. Reed explains the time-travel spiders on the following page, but they were a plot device in Mark Millar’s Ultimate Fantastic Four storyline about a Skrull invasion.

Page 15

– Opens with the Sub-Mariner cartoon theme from the 60’s.

– “Darkseid justifies my hatred!” is a paraphrase of, “Anti-life justifies my hatred!” from the infinitely better Final Crisis, which was going on at the same time as this issue.

Page 16

– Again, Namor brings up the anti-life equation from Final Crisis.

– Squidward is Spongebob Squarepants’ grouchy neighbor for the two of you who didn’t know.

– Namor brings up Skrulls and tries to say, “He loves you!” which is a reference to Secret Invasion, another superior mega-crossover going on at the time.

Page 17

– Doom doesn’t have a real theme song outside of his appearance in the Marvel Superheroes fighting game, which has no lyrics. Instead, I went with a parody of the theme for the cartoon Jem, fitting in with Doom’s rock god gimmick.

Page 20

– Added into the mix for the hell of it are Barack Obama (from the IDW biographical comic), the Ultimate Warrior (from WWF Battlemania) and the Goon.

Page 21

– Looking back, I find it funny how blatantly obvious the fight against Magneto is. On this page I point out how stupid it is that they’re sending a bunch of metal-based superheroes to fight a guy who controls metal and yet issues later it’s supposed to be this earth-shattering surprise that Magneto can steal Valkyrie’s sword or push Iron Man around.

WEEK TWO

Page 1

– Slight reference to the 60’s Spider-Man theme.

– Spider-Man brings up a subplot from Ultimate Edit where Hawkeye hunted him down because he thought Spider-Man stole his Twinkies. Spider-Man’s claim that Twinkies aren’t funny is basically a reflection of me insisting to ManiacClown that the joke has run its course.

– Spider-Man calls for Hud, otherwise known as the dopey camera guy from the movie Cloverfield.

Page 2

– The various giants state random quotes from Iron Giant, as explained in the narration.

– The Diesel.com ad is because at the time my brother Geremy was writing and directing short films for their website. This includes the ever-popular Pete the Meat Puppet.

Page 3

– Spider-Man’s fixation on Mentos comes from a commercial from the 90’s where a woman convinces a bunch of burly men to lift her car for her just because she ate some Mentos. This was used as a parody in the Foo Fighters video for “Big Me”.

Page 4

– The word bubbles are based on an old Justice League of America panel that’s been making its rounds on the internet for years. I don’t know the issue number offhand, but a supervillain tells the heroes, “Not only are you doomed – but so is everyone you have ever touched!” Coming off as some kind of AIDS joke, it’s enhanced by the different heroes bringing up how they’ve just about killed their romantic others. At the end of the panel is Batman, screaming, “Robin – what have I done to you?!”

– The bit underneath is almost word-for-word lyrics to Dethklok’s “Mermaider”.

Page 7

– Mahr Vehl, otherwise known as Ultimate Captain Marvel, showed up during the Ultimate Galactus Trilogy. Though a Kree, his time on Earth as a spy leads him to surrender himself and turn against his own people because he digs us humans so much. Last we saw of him, he was still working with the government and had a romantic relationship with Carol Danvers. Why he’s missing during this event is unknown.

– I admit, I stole the, “Where were you holding it?” bit from Sam & Max. At one point in their comic, Sam points out that Max is naked but is able to pull out a revolver, which leads to that conversation.

Page 8

– “Burt Ward style” means the regular segment in the old Batman episodes when Adam West and Burt Ward would climb up the side of the building while the camera is on its side.

Page 9

– The entire Rocky Horror gag is ManiacClown’s baby. I’ve seen it on TV years ago, so I get some of the references. We were going to add a word bubble to that last panel of Yellowjacket, but decided against it as the two of us had different opinions of what Pym’s look conveyed. Confusion? Disgust? Shocked acceptance? It was decided to leave it blank and let the reader decide.

Page 10 and 11

– These two pages are one big Watchmen gag. The opening narration is based on one of Rorschach’s early scenes and Thing’s ramblings are based on the Comedian breaking into Moloch’s bedroom. On the bottom of page 11, I tossed in a bloodied F4 symbol pin.

Page 12

– A Fathead is one of those life-sized poster things you stick on your wall, usually shaped like a sports figure.

– CM Punk is a professional wrestler who over a year ago was given a surprise title win out of nowhere, to much excitement. It was then ruined by the WWE giving him one of the worst title runs. In a move that was supposed to elevate him to the top, they instead had him lose nearly all his matches that were non-title and rarely ever win a match cleanly. All despite him being a good guy. He then lost his title in a match he wasn’t even in. It’s still not as bad as what they did to Rey Mysterio when HE was champ.

– Natalee Holloway is the teenage girl who disappeared during a high school class trip to Aruba, and is known for getting an extensive amount of media coverage due to being an attractive, blond, white girl.

Page 13

– I want to point out that I barely altered Reed Richards in this scene. He is just that dense in the original.

– Nick Fury is off in the Squadron Supreme world due to his involvement in Ultimate Power. He was meant to be a prisoner, but had risen to the same level of government badassery after several years.

– Zarda, the Power Princess, is the Wonder Woman counterpart of the Squadron Supreme world, who switched places with Fury during Ultimate Power. In the actual comic, she shows disdain for working with Doom, even though there’s little reason for it. She’s behaved far worse than him in her history. She holds no regard for innocent life and has murdered dozens for her own amusement. The “naked killing spree” has to do with how during her initial appearances in Supreme Power, Zarda spent about three issues completely nude and uncensored (it was a MAX comic) before casually walking into an Italian clothing store, taking a dress she found pretty and then slaughtering the police when they tried to apprehend her.

Page 15

– The exclamation “Lords A-Leaping!” is a reference to the “12 Days of Christmas”, as the tenth verse brings up the 10 lords a-leaping.

– When discovering Valkyrie dead, Thor’s lines are a paraphrased version of the Snow Miser and Heat Miser’s respective theme songs from The Year Without Santa Claus.

– Scott Kolins is mainly known for his work on The Flash. His style is an acquired taste, but one of his weird little trademarks is that whenever one of his characters starts crying, they become all bug-eyed.

Page 16

– Hela calls herself a Tarot reject, with Tarot being the big-breasted title character from the X-rated comic series Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose. Similarly, Thor calls her Top Cow Hela, as Top Cow is a publisher known for featuring plenty of big-breasted title characters.

– By the time of this issue, it had been announced that Frank Cho would be writing New Ultimates.

Page 17

– ManiacClown and I argue over the stupidest shit when we do these, which I suppose is a good thing, as we never have any legit reasons to be angry at each other. Look no further than Thor’s line about the Red Rider. The Red Rider, as you may know, is the bb gun from A Christmas Story that the main character is refused time and time again because it would put his eye out. Anyway, we argued back and forth for way too long about which would be better bolded in the line, “I am the Red Rider,” the “I” or the “the”. I forgot exactly what our reasons were, but this went on to the point of being ridiculous and I folded because I get final say and I knew I’d have to push over one of his jokes with my own later anyway.

Page 18

– Thor’s opening lines are based on the Christmas carol “Up on the Rooftop”.

– “This is bat country!” is from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Page 19

– Hawkeye sings from the Rocky Horror songs “There’s a Light” and “Damn It, Janet”. The latter is entirely appropriate, isn’t it?

Page 20

– Robert Kirkman is mainly known for his work on Walking Dead and Marvel Zombies. Even his more light-hearted work Invincible has its fair share of HOLY CRAP BLOOD EVERYWHERE violence.

– This page was so infamous when it came out that we knew that any single joke would fall flat compared to expectations. The best we could do is come up with multiple choice.

– “I love you!” is the next line in continuing Hawkeye’s “Damn It, Janet!”

– “Where’s the cream filling?” is from a series of Hostess commercials from several years ago, when carnivorous animals would mistakenly bite into what seems to be a Hostess cake and ask that question.

– “Great Taste, Less Filling!” is Budweiser’s old tagline.

– “Nom nom nom nom!” is the famous cookie-or-fruit-eating sound Cookie Monster makes.

– “When in Rome!” is from a Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where zombies have taken over Springfield. Homer finds Barney chewing on a human arm. Barney insists that he isn’t a zombie, but is eating the arm anyway because it’s the popular thing to do.

– The feast line is from a wonderful Snickers commercial where on a roadtrip with a Viking, pilgrim and others, Henry the 8th reminisces about the old days.

Page 21

– This whole Xavier/Magneto sequence was probably the hardest thing to write. It’s so uninteresting.

– To further explain Wasp’s bad luck: not only had Ultimate Wasp just died, as shown on the previous page, but the regular 616 Wasp was freshly killed off in Secret Invasion. Other prominent Janet Van Dynes include the undead remains of Wasp in the Marvel Zombies universe and Giant Girl from Marvel Adventures Avengers.

Page 22

– As Xavier points out, Magneto’s speech is much like what Xerxes says to Leonidas in 300 while massaging his shoulders.

– Xavier brings up the time Colossus defeated Magneto in the pages of Ultimate X-Men.

– Mr. Fish is a once-used villain from the pages of Power Man. He’s a man transformed by toxic waste into a fish man, later killed when Luke Cage threw him off the top of a building. Mr. Fish is mostly known for reviewing Hostess ads on Seanbaby’s website.

WEEK THREE

Cover

– Sabretooth complains about the vines from Ruins, a novel and movie about a group of people killed by vines that would enter their bodies and crawl under their skin.

Page 2

– “Mutants in Space” is a reference to “Pigs… in… SPAAAAAAACE!” from the Muppet Show.

– One of the monitors reports the news from the end of Watchmen with the giant squid having destroyed New York.

– Another monitor features the commercial for Shamwow.

– Larry Stroman is a comic artist who has recently gotten back into the game. His style is very mutated and weird looking, which causes me to stay away from anything with his name on it. The main example is X-Factor, which is usually quite great.

– The monitors on the bottom feature internet icon and pop star of yesteryear Rick Astley, the Jeopardy Daily Double and a screen from the movie the Apple. I haven’t seen the Apple, but ManiacClown kept going on about it and made me promise that we’d reference it in some way. He handed me a bunch of bizarre screenshots from the bizarre movie and with all the Madrox stuff going on, the group dancing image seemed to be the best choice.

Page 3

– At the time of the comic’s release, the disgust over Deadpool’s role in X-Men Origins: Wolverine was in full-swing, mostly due to the leak of the movie’s workprint. At the same time, Hulk Versus was released on DVD, featuring Hulk vs. Thor and Hulk vs. Wolverine. The Wolverine one featured Deadpool as a supporting villain, which is widely agreed to be a well-written version of the character.

– Like with his appearances in Ultimate Edit, Madrox speaks in Agent Smith quotes. His lines here come from Agent Smith’s rant at Morpheus from the first movie.

Page 4

– As explained by Magneto, Peter David blamed Jeph Loeb for She-Hulk being canceled. Due to She-Hulk’s character being miswritten in Hulk, David figures that people got the wrong idea about what the character was about at the time and it turned them away.

Page 5

– The lyrics here are a parody of “People Who Died” by the Jim Carroll Band. ManiacClown was continually amazed that people recognized it as he had never heard the song before.

– The lyrics mention that Daredevil was killed by a subway train. This took place in the pages of Ultimate Spider-Man.

Page 6

– In Rocky Horror, Doctor Frankenfurter kills Meat Loaf’s character and later eats him. Yellowjacket’s line in the last panel is from after Meat Loaf’s death.

Page 7

– Wasp brought down the Hulk in the middle of the first volume of Ultimates. Hawkeye took out the Hulk at the end of the same volume. Thing punched out the Hulk in Ultimate Power. Zarda also punched him out in Ultimate Hulk Annual.

Page 9

– I wanted to include Tyra Banks on Angel’s list of people who deserve to be dead, but ManiacClown doesn’t watch the Soup and doesn’t understand what makes her so bad.

Page 10

– Wolverine makes reference to the famous cover of Crisis on Infinite Earths that featured Superman holding a dead Supergirl in his arms.

Page 11

– The opening narration is an attempt to rewrite Captain America’s 1960’s cartoon theme song.

– Thor talks about his previous allies Chanukah Harry and Yukon Cornelius. Chanukah Harry is a character from a Saturday Night Live skit from the 80’s. Played by Jon Lovitz, Harry is the Jewish counterpart of Santa Claus. Yukon Cornelius is the adventuring friend of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from the classic animated special.

Page 12

– Thor and Hela recite lyrics from “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”.

Page 14

– Madrox’s Agent Smith quote comes from a cutscene in the videogame Enter the Matrix.

Page 15

– Circa 1977, Steve Martin would regularly perform comedy while wearing a fake arrow going through his head.

– Hank, having fully given into Hawkeye’s Rocky Horror charade, sings Frankenfurter’s song “I’m Going Home”.

Page 16

– This final piece of Madrox dialogue is from Agent Smith’s speech to Neo during the climax of Matrix Revolutions.

Page 18

– MacGruber is a Saturday Night Live skit and future movie about a MacGuyver parody who is always too distracted by his personal problems to disarm a bomb in time. Every one of his skits ends with an abrupt explosion, accompanied by his logo graphic and the announcer yelling, “MACGRUBER!”

WEEK FOUR

Cover

– Chris Giarrusso was behind the Mini-Marvels pieces that appear in various Marvel comics. He tends to joke about Daredevil’s disability, such as having him looking in the wrong direction or making him a referee.

Page 1

– Lyrics are a parody of REM’s “It’s the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”. Namely the third verse.

Page 3

– The whole thing about Hulk killing the Parkers is shown in Ultimate Origins, which shows that something is very shady about Peter Parker’s past. Especially that video of young Peter hanging out with a young Eddie Brock and their parents, on a picnic that Aunt May admits she doesn’t even remember.

– To go with Kitty finding Peter’s mask, we have references to the Punisher finding Captain America’s mask at the end of Civil War and Nightwing finding Batman’s cowl at the end of Batman RIP.

Page 4

– Dormammu’s introduction is based on the Demon Etrigan’s summoning spell, only it doesn’t work as well because few things rhyme with “Dormammu”.

Page 5

– The Prestige and Mindfreak are, of course, a movie and a TV show that deal with magic.

– Wonka Gum is from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Chewed by Violet, the gum tastes like a three course meal, including roast beef and tomato soup. It then causes her to turn purple and expand, much like what happens to Strange.

– DJ Lance is the omnipotent host of the kids show Yo Gabba Gabba, who brings life to the show’s characters by speaking the show’s title.

– Dormammu’s song is, as you already know I’m sure, based on the Oompa Loompa song from Willy Wonka.

Page 6

– Slugworth is the business rival to Willy Wonka.

Page 7

– I stole, “Did you see the way I refused to take that guff? I flat-out rejected it!” from Strong Bad. I love that line and use it in everyday life.

– The shadowy figure (who is probably Ultimate Donald Blake)’s dialogue is a reference to Bueno Excellente, a recurring character from Hitman. Bueno is a disturbing, perverted creep who is somehow a member of the z-list superhero team Section Eight. He’s known for having married and raped an unconscious Lobo and not being killed for it. It’s Garth Ennis, what do you expect?

Page 9

– Wolverine and Hulk talk over how glad they are that Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk had finally ended after one hell of a delay. They also bring up Planetary and All-Star Batman and Robin, also known for their horrible delays.

– The videogame Duke Nukem Forever is another thing infamous for its delays, as after nearly a decade of being in production, only recently have they gone out and said production was canned. Since it’s been in the making for so long, every single joke about it has been made 500 times over.

– Duke Nukem is also the name of a villain from Captain Planet, who looked like a yellow, radioactive Thing in a Hawaiian shirt. I liked that guy. Dr. Blight is another Captain Planet villain.

Page 10

– Nick Fury rants about Howard Chaykin’s failed Squadron Supreme run. The first six issues had very little to do with the characters from the line and tried to move in a different direction while taking too long. Rather than be about a reimagined set of DC heroes, it became an introduction to a reimagined set of Marvel heroes, such as Old Soldier (Captain America) and Biogeneral (Iron Man). The second six issues featured a far more interesting and enjoyable story, where it became the fake DC heroes vs. the fake Marvel heroes. Unfortunately, by that point, there were no readers left. The set-up turned away so many fans that nobody was around to see the superior follow-up. The comic was canceled at issue #12.

– As Fury says, there are counterparts to Reed Richards and Dr. Doom in the Squadron world. For Reed, it is astronaut John Mora, who came back from a space expedition infected with the same alien virus that came when Hyperion came to Earth. Instead of stretching, he has the power to turn himself into gas. For Dr. Doom, it is Emil Burbank. Burbank is originally the Lex Luthor analogue against Hyperion’s Superman, but he begins to wear a black mask and claims that because of Mora and the other three astronauts, he is facially scarred.

Page 11

– John Mora’s wife Catherine has been having an affair with John’s best friend Ted Munn. With her newfound ability to be in two places at once, Catherine has been able to be with both without John knowing for too long. John is angry when he discovers it, but is able to accept it, as Catherine is able to be with both thanks to her powers. Late in the series, Catherine suggests a four-way. In case you were wondering, Ted Munn was transformed into a Swamp Thing-like creature, depressed over his ugliness.

– Inertia is another Squadron Supreme character who is also mentally damaged (though in a more emotional way than Zarda), but doesn’t seem to really be based on anyone.

Page 12

– Really, Doom looks an awful lot like the Jigsaw puppet from the Saw movies here.

– Again, another reference to my insistence to ManiacClown that we stay away from the Twinkie and Maximum Overdrive jokes that plagued Ultimate Edit.

– “I’ll give you such a pinch!” was the catchphrase of old timey comedian Joe Besser.

– Fury’s line after shooting the gun is taken from Pulp Fiction, as Samuel L. Jackson’s character takes part in a mob hit.

– Threatening to chain up Arcana is Fury making another Samuel L. Jackson reference. This time, it’s from Black Snake Moan, a movie known for Jackson’s character chaining up Christina Ricci and keeping her bound in his home. The ads tried to make it seem like the entire movie was about this segment.

Page 13

– At some point in Ultimate Spider-Man, Jean Grey switched the minds of Wolverine and Spider-Man.

Page 14

Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk made a big deal about how Wolverine is not only immortal, but unable to be killed. He is able to have a discussion with Nick Fury when reduced to just a head while his torso is several floors down.

– “Flutie’s Sake” is something my longtime internet friend James Howard used to say an awful lot. Maybe he still does. Doug Flutie is a football player who spent a lot of time in the Canadian Football League.

Page 16

– The Cocoon is the home to the Monarch, the main antagonist from the Venture Brothers and resembles this incarnation of Avalon.

– Magneto talking to Magda was supposed to be a reference to the old man from Up constantly talking to his dead wife as if she was there. I forgot to do something with that. I probably should have added a bunch of balloons to Avalon.

– You’re on the internet. You know what “Falcon PUNCH!” is about. In case you don’t, it’s the main attack of Captain Falcon in every incarnation of Super Smash Brothers. During his taunt, he says, “Show me your moves!”

Page 17

– The Paul McCartney group Wings released a song called “Magneto and Titanium Man”, where Paul sings about Magneto, Titanium Man and the Crimson Dynamo telling him that they’re going to rob a bank alongside Paul’s love interest. Then they all discover that she’s really an undercover officer.

– Hawkeye sings his own version of Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”.

Page 18

– Valkyrie makes some kind of nonsensical reference to A Christmas Carol.

– RIPSPLISTS is a bizarre sound effect from an atrocious comic called Tekken Saga, that I reviewed around that time. Part of me wants to do what I can to make sure it catches on.

Page 19

– Charging Star is an attack Captain America does in the Capcom fighting games. In it, he dashes forward with his shield up. If Loeb had Cap hit the Final Justice, I would forgive him for much of this comic.

– The Frantics were a comedy troupe known most of all for their skit where a dead man’s will leaves his loved ones and not-so-loved ones with the inheritance of repeated boots to the head.

WEEK FIVE

Cover

– Colossus is quoting Strong Sad, after Strong Bad suggested that in three years, Strong Sad would be even whinier.

Page 1

– Lyrics based on “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson.

Page 4

– The COMBO! is from the game X-Men Legends, where whenever two heroes hit their attacks at the exact same time, it would put up a graphic and come up with some kind of team-up name for their joint attack.

– Another appearance by Colossus’s random panel from Ultimate X-Men when he was really, really into eating a sandwich.

Page 6

– Magneto’s line is a reference to Emperor Palpatine saying, “So be it… Jedi,” before blasting Luke Skywalker with lightning in Return of the Jedi.

Page 10

– “I am Magneto! Master of Magnet!” is a rather strange quote from the X-Men arcade game from the early 90’s. One of Magneto’s many bizarre audio lines.

Page 11

– The Thriller eyes mean the yellow monster eyes Michael Jackson sports at the end of the Thriller music video.

– A couple months back, Marvel announced that they were discontinuing the Mini-Marvels comics because it was too similar to the upcoming Superhero Squad cartoon show, annoying fans of the feature.

– Recently, Chris Claremont took over the Exiles franchise and turned the series into New Exiles. He tossed aside most of the mainstays in order to write the characters he likes, such as Psylocke and Dazzler, which I guess was Marvel’s way of keeping him away from the mainstream comics. He turned many off the series and they soon took him off and relaunched the Exiles series with Jeff Parker. His series had little to no reference to Claremonts and got good reviews, only to have its cancelation announced for issue #6.

– Dwayne McDuffie took over Justice League of America, which many had high hopes for, but it was believed that he never truly had a chance. Rather than be able to tell his own stories, DC wanted JL to deal with every single event going on in DC, much like how New Avengers acts as the backbone to what’s going on in Marvel. The difference is that Bendis is a central figure on the Marvel staff and knows what he’s talking about. McDuffie had to write issues about the Tangent universe without even knowing a thing about it. He also had Ed Benes on art, which was a curse in itself. He mentioned his frustrations in an interview online and was punished by being taken off the series.

Page 13

– In the Capcom fighting games, Cyclops is known to yell “BEHOLD!” regularly, especially during his super attack, where he yells, “BEHOLD! OPTIC BLAST!” and lets loose a giant beam.

Page 14

– “To the flyboat!” is a regular line from the kids show Wonder Pets, about a trio of creepy talking animals.

Page 15

– David Brothers came up with the gag for this page.

Page 16

– The Burma Shave company was known for putting up advertisements on the road that came together as one big poem, followed by the logo. The government forced them to change their signs, as red with white text was reserved for official road signs.

Page 17

– As one of the Beastie Girls, Jean tries to sing part of her rendition of the Beastie Boys song “Sure Shot”. More specifically, the chorus of, “You can’t, you won’t and you don’t stop! ______ come to rock the sure shot!”

Page 18

– ManiacClown wanted Bobby to be marching off to Subway for a sandwich, with Kitty dramatically begging for him to pick her up something. I loved the gag, but we already had Colossus married to the sandwich gags so I had to go my way.

Page 19

– Being that Ultimate Dr. Doom is Victor Van Damme, “the Muscles from Latveria” is based on the nickname “the Muscles from Brussels”, used for Jean Claude Van Damme.

Page 21

– Symkaria is the fictional European home of Silver Sable, which is like Latveria, but without the badass metal guy in charge.

– Wall Drug is a tourist attraction in South Dakota known for placing billboards all over the world to say how far away its one location is. This includes the South Pole and Afghanistan.

Page 22

– Quicksilver mentions the recent returns of DC speedsters Wally West, Barry Allen, Bart Allen and Professor Zoom.

– After the death of Doctor Octopus during the Spider-Man Clone Saga, he was replaced by a new, female Doctor Octopus named Carolyn Trainer. Once Octavius returned from the dead, she faded into obscurity, though pops up here and there as Lady Octopus.

– The ending narration is based on the famous Adam West Batman cliffhanger announcements.

Page 23

– This page as well as Page 24 are taken from the end of Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds. In the comic, Superboy Prime finds himself back on Earth Prime (our world), only to find that because his antics have been documented in DC comics, his parents and girlfriend are horrified at his actions and frightened to even be around him. He’s shown in his parents’ basement, having them tend to him out of fear and knowing full well that the comic readers are reading him at that very moment. Saying that he isn’t going to simply go away, he gets onto the internet and hits the DC Nation forum.

– On the Something Awful comic sub-forum Batman’s Shameful Secret, David Uzumeri made a joke image of Superboy Prime logging onto 4th Letter, which led to the discussion that he had to be me because I’m the only white male on the site. That inspired this exclamation point to the series.

– ManiacClown is indeed married and finds it hilarious how Mr. and Mrs. Kent look nothing like he and his wife Rose.

– “I can see you blah blah Buddy Baker,” is reference to the famous comic moment where Animal Man is tripping out on peyote and becomes aware that he’s a fictional character.

– The page shown in Prime’s hands is originally that very page from Legion of Three Worlds, only now it’s replaced with a page from Immortal Weapons where Fat Cobra defeats Hercules and Volstagg in an eating contest. I have no idea who that other guy is. Nobody seems to.

Page 24

– A day after this page was posted, it was announced that Agents of Atlas was canceled and would be reduced to a back-up feature in Hercules. Darn.

– The covers on most of the comics have been changed to Immortal Weapons, Sinister Spider-Man, Deadpool, Beta Ray Bill: Godhunter, The Goon and Batman and Robin. I decided to keep Final Crisis: Requiem and Sinestro Corps War untouched because they’re also rad.

– The stinger, “Ain’t I a stinker?” and that weird Jeph Loeb monstrosity in the corner are in reference to the popular Warner Brothers cartoon Duck Amuck, where after being lampooned by the mysterious animator for the entire cartoon, Daffy Duck demands to know who is responsible. It zooms out to show Bugs Bunny, delivering that line.

Goddamn, that was long. You probably stopped reading by the third page. If you’re still there, I’d really like to thank you for checking out Ultimatum Edit Week and I’m sure ManiacClown agrees. Keep on coming back to 4L and the bunch of us will continue to do our best to give you something worth reading.

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12 comments to “Ultimatum Edit Week: The Annotations”

  1. I think the other guy in the eating contest is Goom. In any case, he appears in Roger Landridge’s “Fin Fang Four” and has deep-seated father issues.


  2. Gavok, sometimes I worry one of us is the Ben Reilly to the other’s Peter Parker, with the shared tastes and the amount of these I caught beforehand.

    (that said I feel 100% comfortable saying you’d love The Apple, so go watch that shit)


  3. I actually own the Apple due to buying the DVD for $4. But I haven’t watched it because my brother’s borrowing it first.


  4. I’m not sure if those Final Crisis/Secret Invasion jokes are better or worse now that they’re hopelessly out of date due to Loeb’s complete and utter inability to stick to deadlines.

    Probably funnier.


  5. Yeah, the other guy in Immortal Weapons #1 was indeed GOOM.


  6. Epic win. Thanks for filling in the jokes.


  7. @Gavok: Watch it together. It’s so incredibly awful that it even defies heckling. There was a part where I couldn’t make fun of it for about a minute and a half because what I was seeing on screen was so incredibly ridiculous and baffling that my brain simply shut down and all I could do was laugh.


  8. You know, I would actually buy a TPB of Ultimatum Edit with Annotations.

    Obviously impossible because of copyright issues, but I’d love to see it beat Ultimatum on Diamond Sales Lists.


  9. “People who died” was featured in the remake of Dawn of the Dead which might account for how many people can recognize it now…


  10. Actually, somebody asked him about the Parkers still being alive after Ultimate Origins and Bendis replied the Hulk didn’t kill Peter’s parents, just knocked them out.


  11. awesome guys!


  12. Just readed all the Ultimatum edit and it was awesome as always! thanks for making this readable :)