King of Trios 2011: Night 1

MP4
On-Demand
DVD

The show begins on a somber note, showing a tribute reel to the dearly-departed Alex Whybrow, otherwise known as Larry Sweeney. After the video, we see most of the wrestlers standing around the outside of the ring, clapping their hands and slapping the mat as the crowd claps along and chants, “SWEENEY!” and, “SWEET AND SOUR!” It’s weird to watch, due to all the masked guys in there who are obviously more emotional than they look. Judging from the body language, Hallowicked and Soldier Ant appear to be hit the hardest.

Match 1
King of Trios Round 1
3.0le (El Generico, Scott Parker and Shane Matthews) vs. the Osirian Portal (Amasis, Ophidian and Hieracon)

3.0le cut a promo where Matthews identifies himself as the captain and the other two argue this fact. The arguing leads to Matthews punching Generico in the stomach as Parker lets out a, “BOOYAH!” and they go on their way. The match begins with Matthews vs. Ophidian, where Ophidian keeps getting in his head with his various snake tricks, like doing a handstand in the corner and slithering around, making Matthews frantically ask, “What are you doing?!”

Next up is Generico against Hieracon, which is extremely fast-paced. Generico wins out at first, then Hieracon gets his own streak of offense. Matthews and Parker tell him to pull on the mask or cheat in some way and Generico even considers poking him in the eyes, but then he thinks better of it and gives him a handshake. Then he pokes him in the eyes anyway.

He hides under a nearby table as Parker gets really excited over these turn of events. He steps in and faces Amasis, with the two of them dancing out of each other’s holds. Albeit Parker’s whiteness is very apparent in his moves. The gauntlet is laid down and all of the sudden “Everybody Dance Now” plays. Amasis and Ophidian cut a rug in their usual style with Ophidian even busting out an inverted worm. Parker and Generico combat it by actually doing the Macarena. In 2011! Generico chestbumps Ophidian by surprise, garnering a big, “YOU GOT SERVED!” chant that the Osirian Portal completely disagree with. The comedy keeps going when Generico moves his hands around to try and imitate the Osiran Portal hypnosis trick. It doesn’t work on any of Generico’s opponents, but Matthews is found staggering in a daze on the apron. He steps in there, throws Generico out of the ring, throws Ophidian after and then both teams try to break him free in a wacky spot where they lock hands for leverage and then let the audience join in.

This leads to a massive pop-lock and inspires the crowd to start doing the wave. Matthews finally snaps out of it and hits Amasis. Generico comes in there and Amasis pushes him into the Osirian corner. They make frequent tags and work him over a bit until he’s able to evade a couple corner attacks and roll into a tag. Matthews comes in there and Parker soon follows, doing double teams on Hieracon, Amasis and then Ophidian. The best of these moves is Parker tossing Ophidian upwards into a Spear from Matthews. Ophidian kicks out, but 3.0 keep on keeping on by clearing the ring and doing an assisted Lungblower. Hieracon sneaks in to break the pin. The Osirian Portal start breaking out double team and then triple team attacks, working to isolate Parker from the rest.

Ophidian does a top-rope moonsault with Generico breaking the pin. There’s a breakneck string of opponents switching up one after the other until Amasis and Ophidian start letting loose with a series of strikes on Matthews. Hieracon moonsaults out of the ring onto Generico and Parker, allowing his partners to hit the Osirian Sacrament. The pin is elementary and post-match, Matthews is steamed at his partners.

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Ahoy! I was going to name this ThWiP #0, but that would involve going into the origin of this nearly 3-year-old weekly segment. Ah, what the hell, here’s the origin:

“Hey, David. I have an idea for a weekly bit every Sunday. I’d call it Panels of the Week and I’d–”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Do whatever. I’m BUSY with writing for Comics Alliance and sleeping with all these models so I don’t care about what you do with your time.”

“Oh. Thanks. …Can I maybe have–”

“No. Get your own.”

“Shucks.”

My helpers are Jody, Gaijin Dan, Was Taters and Space Jawa.

Action Comics #0
Grant Morrison, Ben Oliver, Sholly Fisch and CAFU

Age of Apocalypse #7
David Lapham and Renato Arlem

Animal Man #0
Jeff Lemire and Steve Pugh

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Prelude to King of Trios 2011

(Special thanks to Kung Fu Grip for helping with some of the profiles)

Previously on CHIKARA…

The BDK continued to dominate CHIKARA, but the CHIKARA roster slowly began to chip away at them. While Claudio and Ares held onto their Campeonatos de Parejas for most of the year and Tursas was just as unbeatable as ever, the rest of their members started to feel the effects. Pinkie Sanchez’s mentality was put into question when he claimed he kept seeing Tim Donst’s disguise gimmick Vokoder sneaking around. Lince Dorado competed for the new Young Lions Cup tournament and lost in the finals to Frightmare after Derek Sabato got knocked out and Bryce Remsburg left the commentary station to make the count.

Lince, by the way, ended up cutting ties with the company. He had shown up on a Scott Hall YouTube video without his mask on, identifying himself as Lince Dorado and rumor has it that got him in hot water due to the setting up of a match where his mask would be on the line. He no-showed a weekend of shows and that was that.

After UltraMantis’ failure to use the newcombers, the Batiri, as his soldiers, he became humble and practically begged Hallowicked to bury the hatchet with him and work together like the old days. It took time, but he gained Hallowicked’s trust with the mission to save Delirious from the BDK’s control. UltraMantis then put together a team for the annual Cibernetico match, featuring tecnicos and rudos alike. Then Vokoder — who was as real as Pinkie claimed he was — appeared as the final member and unmasked himself to reveal the long-missing “Sweet ‘n’ Sour” Larry Sweeney. In the end, it came down to Eddie Kingston and Tursas with Eddie knocking the big man down and putting him down with the Sliding D.

Another big hit to BDK came from the company being bought out by Worldwide Media Development Corporation. Part of this change came in the form of the doofy Wink Vavasseur being introduced as an auditor, keeping an eye on Dieter VonSteigerwalt and Derek Sabato. After Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw defeated Claudio and Ares for the Campeonatos de Parejas, Dieter was removed from his position and the Director of Fun position went to Wink himself. Even though he has very little idea about anything wrestling-related.

At this point, the BDK is wounded, but not completely done.

As a sad sidenote, four days before the show began, Larry Sweeney had passed on. As you can guess, the show is extremely emotional at points and dedicated to his memory.

The Format

Same deal as the last one. One thing of note is that the winning BDK team from the previous year has chosen not to potentially sully their victory by losing this year, so none of those three members will compete in the tournament. In other words, Claudio and Ares are off wrestling elsewhere this weekend.

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King of Trios 2010: Night 3

MP4
On-Demand
DVD

Poor Gavin Loudspeaker. A weekend of frantic announcing and commentating has destroyed his voice and turned him into a less creepy Tom Waits.

Match 1
King of Trios Semifinals
Team Osaka Pro (Atsushi Kotoge, Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke) vs. the Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Green Ant)

As the Colony walk out, Green Ant has a bag of sugar in hand. Prior to the start, it’s agreed by both sides that the sugar will be on the line in this contest, leading to a mighty, “SUGAR!” chant. Green Ant and Harada shake hands and start a slow feeling out process. Fire and Kotoge tag in there and pick up the pace with some sprinting and dodging. Kotoge keeps hitting Fire out of nowhere with flying kicks and eventually sends him rolling out. Soldier vs. Tadasuke is the logical follow-up, but it’s cut short when Harada aids his partner. They double team Soldier and when Fire and Green get involved, they’re taken apart as well. Tadasuke starts to heel it up a bit, messing with Fire’s antennae, garnering a handful of boos from the crowd. Harada gets in there and holds Fire up with a Gory Special while Tadasuke lands a dropkick. Fire is getting worn down and starts exchanging strikes with Kotoge. Once again, Kotoge tries for his flying kick attack, only this time he misses and falls out of the ring. Fire Ant dives out onto him, meaning he’s made his tag.

Soldier cleans house, culminating in a Northern Lights Suplex on Harada. Harada rolls to the outside with the rest of his team, the other ants join Soldier and they toss Fire Ant onto their enemies with the Antapult. Harada gets in there and faces down Soldier some more, catching him with his hiptoss/knee-to-face combo. He performs his own Northern Lights Suplex, follows with a Frog Splash and Soldier kicks out. After Harada suplexes Soldier off the top rope, Tadasuke is brought in to manhandle Green Ant with various backbreakers. He places Green in a Boston Crab, having to let go when he reaches the ropes. He pulls on him so he can put the move on again, but Fire makes the save with a kick into a Stunner, followed by Soldier picking Tadasuke up for the TKO. After dropping him down, he Baseball Slides onto Harada and Kotoge, dazing them both. Soldier and Fire climb to the second rope, Green stands in their hands and they gives a Super Antapult onto Tadasuke.

The Colony win and advance to the finals. A disgruntled Tadasuke hands over the bag of sugar and leaves while the other five celebrate their hard-fought match.

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King of Trios 2010: Night 2

MP4
On-Demand
DVD

The Fan Conclave was on this day. What a time that was. I played Guess Who alongside Jigsaw and defeated Steve Weiner and another fan. I played Rock Band with Eddie Kingston. I had a class picture day photo taken with the Future is Now where Jimmy Olsen had me hold a jug of orange juice like it was a baby that I was very proud of. The biggest highlight is that me and Dasher Hatfield did a duet of “New York, New York” on Chikarioke, including a two-man kick line.

I saw some footage of us singing where Soldier Ant is in the background, covering his ears. How DARE he?

Match 1
Brodie Lee Open Challenge

Coming out to the unbeatable intro song of Johnny Cash’s “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”, Brodie grabs some of the CHIKARA staff and shoves them over, one of which gets a chair slammed onto him. He gets a mic and starts ranting about being overlooked by the company. He demands an opponent, whether he be big, small, masked or unmasked. The crowd demands Christopher Daniels, but instead they get Brodie’s former partner Grizzly Redwood. He storms in the ring and gets in Brodie’s face (er, a couple feet lower than that) as the ref Jonathan Barber tries to break it up. Grizzly passes through him and gets all over Brodie, latching on him with a sleeper with both legs wrapped around him. Brodie pushes him off, but Grizzly keeps attacking. Whenever he’s shoved off, he keeps pounding back onto him.

Brodie gets his bearings and slaps Grizzly around. Grizzly starts working on Brodie’s legs, chopping them one at a time as the crowd chants, “CHOP ‘EM DOWN, GRIZZLY! CHOP ‘EM DOWN!” With a clip to the back of Brodie’s leg, he sends him tumbling to the outside. Brodie tries to climb back in and gets knocked back with a Baseball Slide, followed by a tope. Letting Brodie reenter, Grizzly climbs to the top and jumps off, getting caught in a devastating Black Hole Slam.

Grizzly gets back to his feet, ducks a haymaker, runs the ropes and eats a boot to the face. Brodie pins the little man and walks off victorious.

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King of Trios 2010: Night 1

Something of interest I should point out is how before all these King of Trios shows, the live crowd would get to see various episodes of the CHIKARA Podcast-a-Go-Go while waiting. During the weekend, they’d show about 3-4 of them prior to each show, working its way from episodes dated a couple months ago to the present. Many of these were filled with King of Trios updates on the scheduled teams and opening matches. No matter how many times the pre-recorded Gavin Loudspeaker would namedrop Team Mexico as one of the trios, the crowd would go into one huge boo frenzy.

Also, the BDK’s personal ring announcer (he was doing it before Ricardo Rodriguez) Jakob Hammermeier would constantly glare at people and scream with a heavy German accent as a way to convince them to buy a BDK t-shirt.

MP4 Download
On Demand
DVD

Match 1
King of Trios Round 1
FIST (Icarus, Gran Akuma and Chuck Taylor) vs. the Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield, Sugar Dunkerton and Matt Classic)

The Throwbacks get to cut a promo where Sugar is excited over the prospect of going the distance. Matt Classic is very disgruntled and openly asks about when people like Sugar were allowed into wrestling, which Dasher is distraught over, but Sugar misconstrues what he says and treats it like a positive. Either way, Classic is crotchety and wants to get to wrestling instead of talking to a piece of glass… whatever this “camera” business is. Once in the ring, Dasher and Sugar decide on who will wrestle first by doing that baseball bat handle game that I can’t remember the name of. Dasher wins out and hands the ref a basketball so he and Icarus can do a tipoff.

Icarus is angry at this and yells, “This isn’t basketball!”

Sugar responds, “This is CHIKARA, man!” They do the tipoff, Sugar gets the ball, passes it to Dasher, Dasher passes it into Icarus’ chest, Sugar goes for a Sunset Flip and Icarus kicks out, angry at the ref for not considering that a foreign object and grounds for disqualification. Sugar keeps on him and Cannonballs him in the corner. Classic is tagged in and puts the Claw on Icarus. Sugar and Dasher enter the ring to turn it into a triple Claw. Icarus and Akuma break it up, but then Classic gives both of them the Claw. Icarus axe-handles him in the back, Classic turns around and scares him off with a simple pose.

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Prelude to King of Trios 2010

Picking Up Where We Left Off…

2009 was an odd year for the company. No part odder than UltraMantis Black using a stolen artifact called the Eye of Tyr (acquired after bartering with Dr. Cube) to mind-control Delirious and make him the new third member of the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple. A mysterious masked man named Vokoder appeared to warn him about what would happen if he were to hold onto the treasure for too long and eventually got the position as UltraMantis’ advisor. Meanwhile, another masked man would make threats to him online about how war was coming.

As for UltraMantis’ former lackey Hydra, he was forced into retirement. He had a falling out with Tim Donst, who defeated him in a Loser Leaves Town match. He went on to co-host a cooking show for kids.

Eddie Kingston repeatedly lost to Claudio Castagnoli, getting more and more incensed each time, insisting that Claudio is in fact a terrible excuse for a human being and refusing to show him respect when that was the stipulation of one of their matches.

Our champions from last year, FIST, continued to feud with the Colony. A hair vs. mask match ended with the introduction of the new Carpenter Ant, who helped the Colony win. Icarus and Chuck Taylor ended up shaved bald as a result. Carpenter Ant gained the trust of the Colony up until gaining a big head and acting more rudo than tecnico in his matches. He also curiously introduced a new Inverted CHIKARA Special, which helped him win the annual Cibernetico match.

It all came together at the reveal that Eddie Kingston was 100% right. Claudio Castagnoli wasn’t this paragon of virtue. He, alongside Ares (the “war is coming” mystery man), his old tag partner from his days in Swiss Money Holding, attacked the CHIKARA roster with their new outsider army, Bruderschaft des Kreuzes. Otherwise known as the Brotherhood of the Cross, they mainly included wrestlers who had some kind of problem with the company or the fans. Vokoder and Carpenter Ant were their moles, revealed to be Tim Donst and Pinkie Sanchez. They also included disgruntled wrestlers Sara Del Rey, Dazee Haze and later Lince Dorado. Holding onto the Eye of Tyr, Ares took the reins of Delirious. Also, they introduced a massive Viking warrior named Tursas to their ranks.

Shortly after the BDK’s debut, the CHIKARA Board of Directors relieved Leonard F. Chikarason of his duties as Commissioner of Fun and replaced him with Dieter VonSteigerwalt, a man who was quite obviously part of the BDK’s machinations. 2010 began with the team dominating the competition without a hitch. Tim Donst defeated Player Dos for the Young Lions Cup and the team of Claudio and Ares quickly dethroned the Colony to win the Campeonatos de Parejas.

This isn’t your usual rudo group like the UnStable or the Kings of Wrestling. This is the kind of villain threat so encompassing that the heroes and lesser villains need to team up together to make a dent. You know, like when Xavier and Magneto have to join forces to stop Mr. Sinister.

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King of Trios 2009: Night 3

On Demand
DVD

Match 1
King of Trios Semifinals
The UnStable (Vin Gerard, STIGMA and Colin Delaney) vs. Team Uppercut (Claudio Castagnoli, Bryan Danielson and Dave Taylor)

Pre-match Colin cuts a promo about how nobody thought they’d be able to beat the Cold Front and Da Soul Touchaz, but here they are. The arena is decked out in balloons and Claudio jokingly walks around with one before uppercutting it. As he and his partners take turns, the UnStable jump them and sadly, the balloon flies up above into the ceiling. Aw. Team Uppercut easily fight off the UnStable with uppercuts and each UnStable member dashes back into the ring to receive yet another uppercut.

Claudio manhandles Gerard, tags Bryan in and he stretches him with a modified Dragon Sleeper until Colin kicks him off. Taylor steps in to rough up Gerard, focusing mostly on a cravat hold. Gerard eye-rakes Claudio and brings him to the heel corner. Colin comes in and gives Claudio a European uppercut, which does no damage. Claudio uppercuts him across the ring, holds him up and lets his partners each get a piece. Colin desperately wraps his legs around Bryan’s arm for an armbar, but Bryan picks him up and slams him down on his back. Bryan gets shoved into the UnStable’s corner, STIGMA attacks the knee and Bryan ends up in peril. Gerard focuses on the knee, putting him in a Half Crab. Colin pulls him out of the ring, until remembering that – oh yeah – that means a tag, so he throws him back in. STIGMA runs into the corner and gets a boot to the face, followed by Bryan dropping him with a flying kick. Bryan tags in Claudio.

Claudio has some trouble from STIGMA and is forced into sitting position in the corner as STIGMA kicks him across the face. STIGMA bounces the ropes for one more kick, it’s caught and Claudio sends him spinning with the Big Swing. Thankfully, not quite as long as when he did it to Grizzly. Right after, Gerard rolls Claudio up, almost getting him. Claudio throws him across the ropes, tosses him straight up for the Swiss Death, but Colin gets him in a backslide from behind. Claudio barely kicks out. The ring fills up for a second and when the smoke is cleared, we have Bryan vs. Gerard. STIGMA clips Bryan’s knee and Gerard almost gets the pin. He puts Bryan in the STF, garnering a big, “PLEASE DON’T TAP!” chant. Claudio saves him, waits for Gerard to stand up and boots him from the ring, following after him. Taylor is left in there with Colin, slamming him with a Butterfly Suplex into pinning position. Team Uppercut are off to the finals and when Colin tries some post-match chicanery, he gets bounced back and forth with uppercuts.

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King of Trios 2009: Night 2

On Demand
DVD

Match 1
Rey de Voladores Qualifier
Austin Aries vs. Player Dos vs. Matt Jackson vs. Fire Ant

Aries is suddenly a heel, explained through commentary as having some bad hotel service and sleep the night before. Player Dos is the rechristened Stupefied, now fully immersed in his partner’s gimmick and wearing a new set of tights that include a Triforce, the Deadpool logo and other nerd insignias. The opening is extremely quick with a fast Dos/Matt exchange leading to Dos throwing Matt out with headscissors, throwing Aries out immediately after and then being taken apart by Fire Ant. Fire Ant throws Dos out with a Fireman’s Carry, then Aries returns and slows it down quite a bit. Aries lays Fire down on his stomach and slides him out of there. He sends Dos to the outside with a dropkick, leading to Aries vs. Matt on the inside with Dos and Fire Ant fighting on the outside.

After a brief exchange, Aries applauds Matt and reaches out for a handshake. Matt accepts, but is then slapped in the face. He sends him to the outside and as Aries bounces off the ropes for a dive, Dos trips him. Aries gets up and punches him down and bounces the opposite ropes to try a dive on Dos. This time, Matt trips him. He blocks a punch from Aries and drags his throat across the top rope, opening Aries for a top-rope crossbody courtesy of Fire Ant. Matt comes in and clears the ring, bounces the ropes and this time it’s Aries who comes in and interrupts him with a clothesline. Aries spends a few minutes working Matt over and ends up screwing himself over by dedicating way too much time to playing to the crowd.

Matt fights back with a Shiranui, backdrops Fire Ant and then Spears Dos. Again, he goes for a dive follow-up, but Aries smashes him with an axe-handle to prevent it. Matt clotheslines him out of there, bounces the ropes, dropkicks all three through the ropes, bounces back up and then gets them all with an Asai Moonsault. Back in the ring, he gets Dos with a twisting Ace Crusher from off the top.

He prepares a superplex on Dos, but Aries appears and throws him off and to the mat. Aries climbs up to do a superplex on the prone Dos, but Fire appears on the apron to jumpkick Aries in the head. Fire hops to the top rope, jumps off and kicks Matt right in the skull. He follows with the Beach Breaker and pins Matt, eliminating him from the match. Dos is still in the corner and keeps getting hit repeatedly by accident as Fire and Aries focus on each other. Fire goes for a wheelbarrow-based maneuver and Aries refuses to play ball.

As he laughs at this, Fire gets up and gives him a Stunner. Fire gets to the second rope and jumps off for a senton, completely missing. The ailing Dos is still on the top rope during all of this, so he does a Frog Splash onto Fire Ant immediately after the impact, giving him the pin. Now we’re down to two. Aries topes the hell out of Dos, garnering dueling chants from the crowd. After a second-rope bulldog, he does a variation of a Camel Clutch with a bridge. Dos makes it to the ropes to save himself. Once again, Dos is set up for a superplex, but this time he shoves Aries off and tries a Frog Splash. It misses. A Fireman Carry Slam sets Dos up for Aries’ 450 Splash. As Aries readies himself on the top rope, Dos pops up and delivers a brain kick to stun him. He gets up there with him, does one of his trademarks, the B13, which is like a top-rope Snapmare that lands on the opponent’s head. Dos picks up the win and advances to the finals on Night 3. Great start to the show.

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Hey hey hey. Now for a break from all the indy wrestling talk for more panels. I’m joined by Jody, Space Jawa, Gaijin Dan and Nawid. Both Jawa and I represent the April spotlight issue of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but there’s something I need to get off my chest.

At first glance, no matter how many times I see this image, I initially think she’s flipping them the bird. But this isn’t about covers. Let’s get with some panels.

Oh, man! Doing the last-minute proofread, the first two panels are kind of amazing next to each other. I did not plan that.

Aquaman #12
Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis

Avengers vs. X-Men: Versus #5
Matt Fraction, Leinil Francis Yu, Jason Aaron and Tom Raney

Avenging Spider-Man #11
Zeb Wells and Steve Dillon

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