Mark Millar’s in the news due to how his comic Nemesis is officially being turned into a movie. That’s good a reason as any to talk about him. Usually when his name comes up on this site, it’s David cursing his name for saying or writing something stupid. David does not like that guy. I see Millar in a different light.

As a writer, Mark Millar is an extreme mixed bag. His stories are filled to the brim with lots and lots of ideas and it’s a crapshoot on which ones are going to be good and which ones are going to be bad. Most of the time, the bad overshadows the good. Sometimes the contrast causes the story to implode upon itself. Though sometimes it’s also the lack of real substance outside of, “Here’s some crazy shit!” that does that.

It’s telling that two of my favorite Millar stories are Red Son and Civil War (the miniseries itself, not the event). Morrison had a hand in Red Son, giving it an ending that really glued the whole story together. Civil War became more interesting after seeing Tom Brevoort post Millar’s original idea for the series before Brevoort had to play damage control. No pun intended. Millar’s original concept involved killing off Happy Hogan and Pepper’s non-existent child, having Thor come back as part of the series and including Hulk’s return from space as something everyone teams up against. One of the ideas with the Hulk part was that Hulk had so much space poon that the superheroes are challenged by an army of Hulk babies.

I find it funny that the unused Hulk babies idea became one of the bigger ingredients for Old Man Logan later down the line.

Millar belongs to the pantheon of writers who really need a filter of some kind or their writing reaches unfortunate levels of insanity. Other members of this club include Jeph Loeb, Vince Russo and John Kricfalusi. Granted, I hold Millar in higher regard than the rest.

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Time to finish off yet another week. Yesterday’s antics saw the Ultimates overwhelm the enemy with their explosive badassitude. Then Hawkeye took Enchantress out of the game with an arrow to the heart. Considering she got shot in the heart and I’m from New Jersey, consider yourself damn lucky that I chose to give this scene a Motley Crue soundtrack instead of Bon Jovi.

After finishing all that up, I instantly got another idea for that death scene, so here’s an alternate take on page 22 for any Morrison fans out there.

As always, thanks to ManiacClown for his assistance. See you again after about three more release delays. Unless you’re the kind of guy who checks out this site normally, which is even sweeter.

Previously on New Ultimate Edit, the Ultimates regrouped after being made to look like buffoons by some monster army from another world. Carol talked to Clint, Tony talked to Carol and Clint and Clint talked to Steve. That’s enough of a breather for them to raid every gun closet in the Triskelion so they can teach those trolls the American definition of “counter-attack”.

I’m sorry, but that song is the king of improving excessively ridiculous action sequences. This guy knows the score.

Tomorrow, we take it home and another character kicks the bucket. Only two major characters dying in a Loeb Ultimate comic? He’s starting to lose his touch.

Oh, and thanks to ManiacClown. I made Shake-n-Bake and he helped.

Day Seven!

What happened last time? That’s a good question that I’d rather not answer, but here it goes. Thor want to leave the afterlife of bones and weapons and his arguing with Hela reveals that she’s already about to burst with Thor Jr. Now Thor definitely wants out before he has to do the delivery and put a crib together. Also, Director Danvers told off Hawkeye and said he was worse than Arsenal. Uh oh.

Where is Hawkeye in that group shot? At the vending machine, I guess.

ManiacClown felt that Hawkeye’s missing lucky bow would have been found on a bow rack under the label “lucky”.

Tomorrow means lots and lots of bullets.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

Yesterday had the lesser Ultimates rescue the marquee Ultimates and give Hell to Loki’s mindless minions. Now we move to the realm of the undead and get an overdue dose of Thor.

Oh no she didn’t! We’ll pick up on that tomorrow.

Thanks to ManiacClown, who I imagine has some semblance of a clue of what Thor and Hela are talking about. He also thinks that the above headshot of Thor has a Nathan Explosion quality to it.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

As seen last time, Valkyrie is nice enough to show us her origin story long after anyone really cared anymore. She and her Asgardian friends are showing off their prisoners when the cavalry arrives to save the captured Ultimates. Now we continue with that.

Thanks to the help of ManiacClown who really, really did NOT want me to make a certain reference to the way Hawkeye is posed on the bottom of that second page. You can’t unsee it now, can you? I’ll let you come up with your own joke.

We’ll continue tomorrow as we see what’s going down with Thor.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Yesterday’s installment dealt with Valkyrie and her origins. How she met the Defenders and how Hank Pym does it while wearing his Ant-Man helmet. Much like with Sue Dibny, there’s something kind of wrong about shoehorning in some retcon gross sex stuff on a character who’s still freshly dead. Now we continue with the explanation of how Valkyrie went from one costume to another.

ManiacClown believes Black Panther’s jump is more Kevin Bacon in Footloose, but I pulled rank on him. Plus if I think about it long enough, I’ll get that song stuck in my… Goddamn it.

For the sake of comparison, here’s the edited-in joke from the previous New Ultimate Edit and the not-edited-in joke from this issue of New Ultimates.

vs.

Coincidence?

More rescue bedlam tomorrow.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Welcome back to another week of New Ultimate Edit, based on Ultimate New Ultimates featuring that All-American American Ultimate Captain America.

Thor is dead and has decided to fix that by making a baby with Hela. Loki and Enchantress take advantage of his absence by attacking New York City, taking over the minds of the female team members and showing Valkyrie how Thor has been unfaithful to her. Personally, if someone literally traded places with me in the afterlife out of love and selflessness, I think I’d be giving them a ton of leeway in how they spend their tortured eternity. Loki and his turncoat army have succeeded in defeating the Ultimates, outside of those guys who nobody cares about to the point that Enchantress didn’t even bother messing with Shanna.

If you need a more detailed refresher, check out the previous two weeks.

And… go.

Thanks to the ever-classy ManiacClown for his assistance. Tomorrow will feature more flashbacking, followed by bedlam in the present.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

40 isn’t a very special number, but we got a lot on the plate this time around anyway, so let’s pretend it matters. Oh, and we also get three doses of Grant Morrison. Well… only two of them count, but whatever.

Amazing Spider-Man #635
Joe Kelly and Michael Lark among others

American Vampire #4
Scott Snyder, Rafael Albuquerque and Stephen King

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Previously, the male Ultimates have been up to their ears in otherworldly creeps and Zarda going into a bitch-fit certainly isn’t helping things. Not only that, but Valkyrie’s got a big sword with Captain America’s shield’s name on it. Does that shield have a name? It’s a moot point now.

Another week is in the can. ManiacClown and I will be back next time, but keep checking in on 4th Letter and feel free to keep tabs on my Twitter.

Thanks for reading!