Fairly small week, though thankfully with help from Was Taters to bulk it up slightly. It’s definitely a good thing as it introduces me to Thor’s amazing facial expression.
The Wolverine story in this week’s What If is pretty dire. Just saying.
Batgirl 16
Bryan Q. Miller and Dustin Nguyen
Booster Gold #39
Keith Giffen, J.M. DeMatteis and Chris Batista
Here it is. Part 35. The final chapter.
Previously, Magneto threw a big hissy fit and killed a bunch of the world. Then the heroes took their sweet-ass time to get to Avalon to stop him. Only they sent a bunch of metal-using heroes to go after Magneto with no strategy of what to do against him other than “let Wolverine do it”. Thanks to Nick Fury showing him THE TRUTH, Magneto gave up and Cyclops blew his head off in response. Then Cyclops’ head blew up. Then Dr. Doom’s head blew up.
But who did kill Cyclops? Was it some angry mutant-hating sniper? Or was it something else?
Special thanks to David Uzumeri for inadvertently giving me the inspiration for the last couple pages. And of course, thanks to ManiacClown for his help throughout and for being a good sport.
If you’re up for it, give us a visit tomorrow to see the Ultimatum Edit Annotations.
Last time on Ultimatum Edit, Wolverine stabbed Magneto so Magneto killed Wolverine so Wolverine stabbed Magneto so Magneto killed Wolverine. It was a pretty full day, to tell the truth. But what are the strong guys up to?
ManiacClown wanted to make a bunch of Warhammer 4000 jokes involving Mystique’s gun and Colossus looking like one of those soldier guys, but come on. This project can only be made up of references I get. To hell with him.
We’ll continue with Fury tomorrow. See you then.
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
It was only yesterday when Nick Fury got Dr. Doom to explain his behind-the-scenes role in Ultimates 3 and how it led to what’s going on in Ultimatum. Then Wolverine and Kitty Pryde hung out because there’s nothing important going on anywhere at the moment.
Let’s finish with that scene, then take a trip to Magneto’s place for punch and pie.
In case you’re wondering what the hell Magneto and Sabretooth are talking about, here, knock yourself out. The very fact that this song exists boggles my mind to this day.
And you see that final Hawkeye panel? In the original, he says, “That’s gonna leave a mark.” NO IT WON’T. THAT IS SABRETOOTH.
Tomorrow, ManiacClown and I will close out yet another week. It leads to a legitimately badass final page, other than how Storm looks like some kind of alien cripple doing an interpretive dance. You’ll know it when you see it.
Welp. Thirty more to go. Let’s do this!
30) Submissive Blind Al
Deadpool #15-17 (1998)
Writer: Joe Kelly
Deadpool’s relationship with Blind Al is completely weird, but it goes from being wacky on the outside to disturbing on the inside. Despite being Deadpool’s prisoner and a victim of plenty of abuse, we see the Wade/Al dynamic as little more than slapstick. It’s shown to be so cartoony that we aren’t even supposed to care that Deadpool – for whatever impaired reason – has an old woman held in his house against her will.
The seriousness doesn’t truly show itself until Deadpool’s breakdown, which as some of you can figure, is going to be popping up later on the list. The short of it is that Deadpool did some horrible stuff to Blind Al and we got a better scope of the dark history of their relationship. After a couple issues, Deadpool gets over what he’s done and tries to sweep it under the rug, much like he handles many of his mistakes, but Blind Al won’t let him.
Deadpool comes home from his latest meeting with LL&L, high off of his good guy potential, only to find that Al has cooked and cleaned. She closes the door to her room, saying nothing more than, “Good night… master.” Deadpool remembers how much of a tool he’s been.
He tries what he can to get a rise out of her and maybe get her to joke around like they used to, but all she does is act completely submissive to everything he says. She acts like his servant and refers to him as the master and herself as the prisoner. He knows he has to apologize, but like the Fonz, he just can’t bring himself to saying he was wrong.
Jayce Russel also loved this whole bit.
The entire situation with Blind Al is just full of awesome bits, but issue #17, the scene that starts with, “Will you shut up and talk back to me already?!,” and the two pages that follow of Blind Al beginning her elaborate plan to attack Deadpool with kindness kills my ass. The neatly hung Deadpool outfits, the alphabetized ammunition, the grating way she drops “master” in constantly, they’re all the slap in the face that Pool spent the whole series working his way towards. I honestly might prefer Al to DP, and this is one of those moments that explain it. The way an old blind lady gets under the skin of one of the world’s best mercenaries is well-written, amusing and, maybe most of all, kinda tugs at the heart. She obviously thinks somewhat fondly of Deadpool, or she’d not bother with trying to save him, and watching him stubbornly trudge past all hope for redemption until almost the bitter end? Now that’s a motherfucker.
When Deadpool receives Montgomery’s predictions on the future, he’s seemingly inspired to do the right thing. Al hears Deadpool hammering on a wall and finds that he’s been boarding up the Box – the room he’d use to torture Al – and that he genuinely is sorry for what he’s put her through lately. She snaps out of her ruse and embraces him, saying that this is a good start towards forgiveness. Deadpool tries to grant her freedom from this life he’s forced her into, but he’s cut off when Ajax teleports him away.
Eh. I couldn’t resist.
40) Siryn Stays
Deadpool #5 (1997)
Writer: Joe Kelly
Deadpool’s healing factor has been on the fritz, and he’s offered help from a strange source in Dr. Killbrew. Killbrew is the sadistic scientist who tortured Wade and gave him his powers in the first place, but now he’s a guilt-ridden old man who wants to make things right. Deadpool really wants to tear him apart, but two things are stopping him. One, the cure for his ailing healing factor and two, Siryn is in his company for the adventure.
After a run-in with the Hulk, Deadpool has a blood sample that’s able to pump him back up to working condition. Behind Siryn’s back, he tries to murder Killbrew. Killbrew is only slightly reluctant, but accepts that he deserves this. Before Deadpool can end it for him, Siryn breaks the door down with her voice. She’s furious at Deadpool and stands in front of Killbrew to protect him.
The two argue back and forth, with Deadpool continuingly demanding Siryn leaves the room so he can do this. She flat out refuses, making him freak out. He doesn’t want to show this part of himself in front of her, but he’s being given no choice. Siryn demands to see proof that Deadpool’s inner animal wins out over the good man she knows he can be and lets it slip that she’s known for a while that Deadpool’s been creepily watching over her when she sleeps and feels safe because of it. She promises she’ll be there for him, allowing Deadpool to feel mercy for once in his life. He tells Killbrew to get the hell out of there ASAP and to thank Siryn for being able to keep his pulse.
(I should probably first mention RIP Bea Arthur because… well, you know. It’s on-topic)
Wade Wilson. Deadpool. The Merc with a Mouth. The Deathstroke the Terminator knockoff. Cable’s reluctant sidekick. The would-be mutant. The febrile-minded man who has to deal with outrageous moral quandaries. The man who shot Liberty Valance. The… you get the point. These days are pretty lucrative for the yellow-bubbled anti-hero of Marvel. The character, who as of this writing has been around for 19 years, has gone through many twist and turns in his fictional existence. Enough that I can write up 70 of his best moments. Why 70? Because it’s a week-long series and ten per day is a round enough number on its own.
First appearing in New Mutants #98, created by the team of Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, Deadpool would follow the cast as the series became X-Force. There, his character, though with attempts at humor, was mostly pretty bland. His appearances usually involved him talking about how great the mysterious Mr. Tolliver was paying him followed by Wade beating the crap out of his girlfriend Copycat. So yeah, not very fun.
Then he got his own miniseries. It wasn’t all that great, though the ending showed that he wasn’t a total piece of shit. Then he got another miniseries and it was better. Then he finally got his own on-going series, which had a great run by Joe Kelly. Once he left, it went for about two and a half years of different writers that made the whole thing seem like a big step down. Luckily, prior to being cancelled at #69, Deadpool’s final issues were a huge breath of fresh air and put some life back into the character… except for the fact that they killed him off.
But then his Japanese Ben Reilly self got an on-going series, which ruled until the original creative team was kicked off. Then it eventually turned lousy and got itself cancelled. Thankfully, Marvel brought the original team back for three issues to both explain the mystery of the main character’s identity and bring Deadpool back from the dead. Hurray!
From there, Deadpool shared a comic with his blood enemy Cable. In a series that played the two off of each other brilliantly, it went on for a respectable run. Unfortunately, Cable joined the X-Men at one point and the series, though still very readable, had jumped the shark. Even worse, Cable “died”, thus making it all about just Deadpool again and robbing the magic of what made the series fun. But hey, 50 issues isn’t bad.
After a memorable stint in Wolverine Origins, Deadpool has returned to form in yet another solo series. Plus a recent one-shot. And a new miniseries. And a role in Messiah War. And a spot in the animated movie Hulk vs. Wolverine. And a Thunderbolts crossover. And a SECOND on-going series coming up in a few months.
Oh, and Ryan Reynolds is playing Wade Wilson in a movie that’s coming out, but apparently has little to do with what made people like the character in the first place. Like Movie Deadpool’s lack of mouth for one.
Now, then. Let’s get this countdown underway.
Ah, nothing like a major company event taking a lengthy delay to let you stretch out your legs and enjoy your vacation. Time’s up, I’m afraid and it’s time to get back on the horse. Welcome to another week of Ultimatum Edit.
The first two weeks are here and here. If you need to go back even farther, just hit the Ultimate Edit like a good kid.
I’d explain what’s gone on previously, but I’ll just let the comic explain it for me.
Thanks to ManiacClown, who has returned once again to help me co-write this. Tomorrow we’ll get some explosive action with Multiple Man.
Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
Home stretch time.
In the last installment, Ant Man said something really unbearably stupid. Let’s move on as the Ultimates confront Magneto, not with actions, but with words.
So, yeah, if you were wondering where I was going with that inner dialogue about Iron Man’s spine, there you go.
Thanks to writing partner ManiacClown for coming up with too much usable dialogue so that I had to make the text all scrunched up and awkward looking to fit in some word bubbles. Thanks a lot, jerk!
Tomorrow is the big conclusion. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Continuing from yesterday’s installment, Hawkeye is getting a thrashing at the hands of Sabretooth. Now some of Ka-Zar’s little buddies join in the fight.
It’s funny. A day or so before this issue came out, I thought about how surprising it was that Loeb hadn’t resorted to a Juggernaut cameo yet. There goes that surprise.
Apologies to ManiacClown, as I ended up cutting a gag of his based around Gimpy Cain Marko being referred to as “the Buggernaut”.
Join us tomorrow for more from Valkyrie. Can’t wait.
