Ah, nothing like a major company event taking a lengthy delay to let you stretch out your legs and enjoy your vacation. Time’s up, I’m afraid and it’s time to get back on the horse. Welcome to another week of Ultimatum Edit.
The first two weeks are here and here. If you need to go back even farther, just hit the Ultimate Edit like a good kid.
I’d explain what’s gone on previously, but I’ll just let the comic explain it for me.
Thanks to ManiacClown, who has returned once again to help me co-write this. Tomorrow we’ll get some explosive action with Multiple Man.
Yet another installment of Ultimatum Edit Week comes to a close today. Last time, we saw the infamous Blob sequence. That’s really all that needs to be said.
Let’s get this over with.
And that’s that. I’m wondering if that last page is an homage to the Xorn reveal from Morrison’s New X-Men.
ManiacClown and I will be around for the next round, I’m sure. In the meantime, please check out our Rifftrax of Frosty Returns. Sure, the holidays are over, but the thing is only 75 cents and the quality is a lot better than our previous project.
As for me, it’s time to get back to writing those wacky Venom articles. See you later, folks. Thanks for reading.
Yesterday’s installment featured what was essentially the Ultimate Super-Villain Team-Up getting taken down a peg. Speaking of villains, it’s time to reveal who’s behind the events of Ultimatum. It’s going to be a huge surprise if you ignore every single shred of hype for this godawful comic.
That’s enough for now. Maniac Clown and I will be back next time. Finch is good with deadlines, right? So it isn’t going to take nearly a year like the last time?
Once again, please give our iRiff take on Superman in Japoteurs a look. It’s only a dollar. Scratch that, it’s 99 cents! See? We’re trying to trick you into thinking that you’re paying for something that isn’t really a dollar when it kinda just is!
In the penultimate installment, Quicksilver sacrificed himself for his father by taking an arrow to the chest. The irony is that he would have been able to run in there in time to catch the arrow with his hands if he didn’t have that limp from being shot in the knees by Magneto back in Ultimate War! Good going, Master of Magnetism.
Here’s the rest.
And that does it. My eternal thanks to ManiacClown for writing this with me from issue #1. Thanks to hermanos for the site to showcase this and his never ending support. Thanks to the MightyGodKing himself, Christopher Bird, for his guidance. Thanks to Jeph Loeb, the Joel Schumacher of comics, for giving us such an easy target.
And especially thanks to all of you readers out there who enjoyed it. Even those of you who didn’t enjoy it. You gave it a shot anyway, so I can’t argue.
Now, will there be some kind of Ultimatum Edit in the near future? Hm… we’ll see.
BUT! I can do you one better. I’m sure many of you have heard of Rifftrax, the website second coming of Mystery Science Theater 3000, headed by Mike Nelson and the rest. Some of you may have heard of iRiffs, the new feature on the site. Now any moron with a microphone and time on his hands can put together his own Rifftrax selections for the public to purchase and enjoy.
I am one of these morons.
That’s right. Me, Nick “ManiacClown” Zachariasen and my old friend James Howard will be making fun of things video/audio-style. Here we’re just starting off with Japoteurs, a somewhat racist Superman cartoon from the 40’s. But we have a lot more in the works, so stay tuned once the iRiffs section is up and running.
Tomorrow or so, I’ll probably have some kind of annotations thing for Ultimate Edit up. So if you’re into that kind of stuff, check it out.
Again, thanks for reading, folks. It’s been a blast.
In the last installment, Ant Man said something really unbearably stupid. Let’s move on as the Ultimates confront Magneto, not with actions, but with words.
So, yeah, if you were wondering where I was going with that inner dialogue about Iron Man’s spine, there you go.
Thanks to writing partner ManiacClown for coming up with too much usable dialogue so that I had to make the text all scrunched up and awkward looking to fit in some word bubbles. Thanks a lot, jerk!
Tomorrow is the big conclusion. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
If you didn’t miss out on yesterday’s happenings, you probably remember Valkyrie defeating her mutant captors and Yellowjacketron’s army making a fool out of Magneto. Luckily for Magneto, the cavalry has arrived in the form of the Ultimates! Hurray for two-page splash pages!
By the way, if you’re wondering just what was really said in that scene, I’d be more than happy to explain it.
“Don’t you know how close we are to being you? I’d rather not kill you, Jan. My experimentation on your DNA has only begun. Besides… you’re almost like a mother to me.”
“Then I guess that makes me… THE MOTHERFUCKER!”
Jeph Loeb, everybody. Let’s give him a hand.
On another note, people are all excited about the new Thor movie and the announcement of Kenneth Branagh as the director. Personally, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not that he’s the director, mind you, but that they’re making a Thor movie. We already did have a Thor movie! Don’t you remember?
Thanks again to my editing associate ManiacClown. We’ll be back tomorrow and a very special installment the day after that.
Yesterday’s exploits involved the weak revelation of who Black Panther is, Juggernaut got busted up and some shadowy figure woke up Valkyrie. Let’s see more of what Valkyrie’s up to.
Ultimate Clor’s font has nothing to do with Ultimates 3 at all, to tell the truth. It’s just that ManiacClown and I agreed that being an evil robot thunder god with long hair, a beard and an axe-hammer is one of the most metal things possible and deserved to speak in “Die Nasty” text (aka the KISS font).
Tomorrow we get… ah, damn it. Tomorrow we get that scene.
In yesterday’s crackerjack installment, Ultron just kept talking about his backstory. He was in love with Scarlet Witch, so he killed her. As Kyle Gass would put it, Ultron is total love-knife material.
Let’s continue, shall we?
I should note that prior to this issue’s release, ManiacClown forced me to watch Maximum Overdrive. Hence, he insists that we shove in as many references to it as possible. Just a warning.
Thinking back to yesterday, I seem to recall Thor slaughtering Unus and then being easily beaten by Magneto. Now ManiacClown and I are back to finish off yet another fun week.
In case you were wondering, the original, untouched version of that last page has Ultron ranting about vibrators. Yes, really.
Thanks for reading. Unless we get another delay or two, get set for Week 5 in August.
Yesterday, Valkyrie got knocked out of the sky by Pyro and then Mastermind mastered her mind. Then Pyro received the nomination for Most Out-of-Character in a Jeph Loeb Production. Congratulations, Mr. Allerdyce.
Now we go to a Lord of the Rings battle sequence that’s reduced to three pages because MAD! can’t fit any more into his hefty schedule.
Tomorrow we’ll get a little conclusion to this scene, as well as more fun with robots to close out the week.
Thanks to ManiacClown, who’s good at translating our thoughts into Thor-speak.
