Marvel’s panel on the X-Books at Wizard World Los Angeles just ended. Check here for Newsarama’s coverage, here for CBR’s. The most interesting news? Matt Fraction is joining Ed Brubaker on Uncanny X-Men as co-writer starting with issue 500, with rotating art duties by the Dodsons and Greg Land.

Wow. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Fraction and Brubaker are two great tastes that taste great together, and the Dodsons are fine artists, but Greg Land? Seriously? Haven’t people caught on to his plagiarizing ways yet? Why is he on a comic that matters? He’s going to make that book annoying to read at best, unreadable at worst. Just look at the cover for issue 500 alone:

Let’s play “Spot the Ripoffs”!

– Warpath, Cyclops and the guy behind Cyclops have exactly the same body. Land has used it at least once before.
– Tattooed guy on the left and Colossus have exactly the same body.
– Wolverine and long-haired shouting man in the background on the right have exactly the same body, only Wolverine’s head is different. Land has used it at least once before. I distinctly recall Ultimate Namor in this pose as well, but I don’t have the relevant issue at hand.
– Land has used Cannonball’s body at least once before.
– Land has used Rogue (is that Rogue?)’s body at least once before.
– Land has used Storm’s body at least once before.
– Land has used Pixie’s body at least once before. It also happens to be the one with that ridiculous porn face made immortal by Ultimate Scarlet Witch. Very appropriate for a sixteen year old girl!

This is from spending maybe five minutes looking at this image and skimming through four issues of Ultimate Power. I could probably find a lot more if I spent effort on this. Maybe I’d even find the photographs he traced these from. Come on now. This is absolutely ridiculous. Why can’t we have an artist that actually draws?

IGN: From Comics to Screen: Marvel’s Babes

(Nevermind the fact that most of these fictional ladies were created by sex-starved geeks, who imagined such busty and scantily clad female characters from either their mother’s basement, or a studio filled with other similarly sexually deprived male artists.)

Sue Storm: created by Stan Lee (married since 1947) and Jack Kirby (married since 1942)
Mystique: created by Dave Cockrum (married)
Jean Grey: created by Stan Lee (married since 1947) and Jack Kirby (married since 1942)
Mary Jane: created by Stan Lee (married since 1947) and John Romita Sr (his son JRjr was born 08/1956)
Elektra: created by Frank Miller (married to Lynn Varley in the ’80s, divorced now)
Rogue: created by Chris Claremont (has a wife and kids) and Michael Golden (can’t find any info on him)
Storm: created by Len Wein (married twice) and Dave Cockrum (married)

Sex-starved geeks? Sexually deprived?

Characters that were “busty and scantily clad” upon creation: 1 (and that’s Elektra, which is being a little generous.)
Characters created in someone’s mother’s basement: 0
Number of worthwhile articles on IGN.com, period: 0

I was in a pretty weird mood when I came up with this, but a while back I created a thread at Something Awful’s Batman’s Shameful Secret forum about musical comic covers. The idea being, take a musical act, album title or lyric and place it on a comic book cover. It didn’t last all that long, but it was definitely fun while it lasted. Unfortunately, it got to the point where I got really sloppy and lazy for the sake of a quick joke. Like taking a solicited cover of Batman fighting Damien and adding “Sonny Came Home… WITH A VENGEANCE!” using a shitty font. Most of these are just as guilty, but I love them anyway.

Read the rest of this entry �

Getting love from the Scans_Daily crew, it’s the final installment of Ultimate Edit Week 3. Yesterday we saw Iron Man show off the magic Wanda-killing bullet to Wasp, right after everyone left for the Savage Land. So, what now?

(You really should read yesterday’s last page before continuing here.)

If you have any of those songs stuck in your head now, I consider this a job well done. ManiacClown will join me again the next time an issue drops, but in the meantime, I’ll still be around writing my usual brand of blogduggery. I have a handful of articles that are just sitting there, half done. I really should do something about that.

Thanks for reading.

Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

As we last left our heroes, Wolverine finally shut the hell up and Wasp came up with a plan. They would try to sneak into the Savage Land to surprise a bunch of villains who have every reason to expect them coming. Brilliant.

Admittedly, not too many jokes this time around. For once, we’re actually getting plot progression here. Shocking, I know.

If that first page offended you, send all your hatemail to ManiacClown. Not that I’m going to give you his email, since I’ve grown to like the guy.

Tomorrow is the last three pages with a yawn-inducing cliffhanger. See you then.

Day Seven!

Welcome back, friends. Last time we met, Wolverine talked about meeting Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, followed by his ordered attempt to kill the latter. Then dinosaurs happened. Thankfully, we’re about done with his endless flashback.

That line at the end of the second page? I think we have a new 4th Letter tagline.

This is the part of the article where I give a token mention to ManiacClown for the assist. More tomorrow, as Iron Man and Black Panther show up for a spell.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

Time once again for another three pages of Ultimate Edit. Last time we checked in, Wolverine bragged about getting some witch booty. Now let’s go forward one generation.

Sorry for the pun on page two. I had to get that joke out of my system.

Thanks to ManiacClown for the help and thanks to muscles like this? for getting this stuff linked on Something Awful. In the next installment, I promise we’ll actually have scenes dedicated to the Ultimates. You remember them? The guys this comic was named after?

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

And… we’re back. Lots of wacky stuff in the last installment. Wolverine fought Hawkeye for little reason and the team bickered for a while. Now Wolverine is about to explain his part in the whole Scarlet Witch conspiracy.

Why, oh why, did MAD! feel the need to leave space to show us Wolverine’s shadowy, hairy ass?

Me and ManiacClown will be back tomorrow with another three pages of flashback. On the upside, Wolverine will have pants on.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Nothing much happened yesterday. I mean, it was just a cover, a recap page and Wolverine talking. That’s how 40% of Marvel’s comics start out these days. Anywho, here’s some more of Wolverine talking.

Join us tomorrow, as me and ManiacClown cover more of Wolverine talking.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

This is the Ultimate Edit, of Ultimates Volume 3. Good guys, bad guys and explosions as far as the eye can see. And it goes to issue 5. I wonder how it will be. This is the Ultimate Edit, of Ultimates Volume 3.

If you missed the first and second issues, then you should probably go read those. It’s okay. I’ll wait.

Scarlet Witch got shot, a bunch of mutant badguys popped into the mansion, fought the heroes and skipped town with the corpse. Now Wolverine’s there. Spider-Man is probably still unconscious but nobody cares about him.

One thing that doesn’t come up in these edits that really bugged the hell out of me is the narration. At the very end of the second issue, once Wolverine steps in, it makes a mention that this takes place, “one second ago”. Why the first two issues were counting down to Wolverine’s mid-sentence, I don’t know. But in the first page of the third issue, taking place immediately after Wolverine’s entrance speech, it explains the scene as taking place “last night”. WHAT?

That’s going to mess with somebody’s mind once the trade comes out.

As always, a thank you to partner ManiacClown.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!