Yesterday had the lesser Ultimates rescue the marquee Ultimates and give Hell to Loki’s mindless minions. Now we move to the realm of the undead and get an overdue dose of Thor.
Oh no she didn’t! We’ll pick up on that tomorrow.
Thanks to ManiacClown, who I imagine has some semblance of a clue of what Thor and Hela are talking about. He also thinks that the above headshot of Thor has a Nathan Explosion quality to it.
As seen last time, Valkyrie is nice enough to show us her origin story long after anyone really cared anymore. She and her Asgardian friends are showing off their prisoners when the cavalry arrives to save the captured Ultimates. Now we continue with that.
Thanks to the help of ManiacClown who really, really did NOT want me to make a certain reference to the way Hawkeye is posed on the bottom of that second page. You can’t unsee it now, can you? I’ll let you come up with your own joke.
We’ll continue tomorrow as we see what’s going down with Thor.
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
Yesterday’s installment dealt with Valkyrie and her origins. How she met the Defenders and how Hank Pym does it while wearing his Ant-Man helmet. Much like with Sue Dibny, there’s something kind of wrong about shoehorning in some retcon gross sex stuff on a character who’s still freshly dead. Now we continue with the explanation of how Valkyrie went from one costume to another.
ManiacClown believes Black Panther’s jump is more Kevin Bacon in Footloose, but I pulled rank on him. Plus if I think about it long enough, I’ll get that song stuck in my… Goddamn it.
For the sake of comparison, here’s the edited-in joke from the previous New Ultimate Edit and the not-edited-in joke from this issue of New Ultimates.
vs. 
Coincidence?
More rescue bedlam tomorrow.
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
I’m flying solo this week, since David’s off in San Diego, hanging out with his friends with the paper Goku hair. There’s still a shitload of comics featured this time around, mostly featuring Avengers stuff, Deadpool stuff and comics simply ending. The final issue of Marvel Zombies 5 simply confuses me in the sense of, “Seriously? That? That’s how you’re going to end the miniseries? Okay, if that’s how you feel.”
Age of Heroes #3
Fred Van Lente, Jefte Palo and various others
Atlas #3
Jeff Parker, Gabriel Hardman and Ramon Rosanas
Welcome back to another week of New Ultimate Edit, based on Ultimate New Ultimates featuring that All-American American Ultimate Captain America.
Thor is dead and has decided to fix that by making a baby with Hela. Loki and Enchantress take advantage of his absence by attacking New York City, taking over the minds of the female team members and showing Valkyrie how Thor has been unfaithful to her. Personally, if someone literally traded places with me in the afterlife out of love and selflessness, I think I’d be giving them a ton of leeway in how they spend their tortured eternity. Loki and his turncoat army have succeeded in defeating the Ultimates, outside of those guys who nobody cares about to the point that Enchantress didn’t even bother messing with Shanna.
If you need a more detailed refresher, check out the previous two weeks.
And… go.
Thanks to the ever-classy ManiacClown for his assistance. Tomorrow will feature more flashbacking, followed by bedlam in the present.
Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!
It’s the special Awesome Motorcycle Shots Edition of ThWiP. Yeah, go read Gorilla Man if you haven’t already. With Astonishing Spider-Man & Wolverine, I could have used a panel involving the big surprise villain (and he is both big AND a surprise), but I think it’s better for you to see that reveal yourself.
Amazing Spider-Man #637
Joe Kelly and Michael Lark among others
Astonishing Spider-Man & Wolverine #2
Jason Aaron and Adam Kubert
There’s a lot going on in the world of Deadpool. The guy has like a million different comics going on at the moment with Deadpool, the soon-to-be-ending Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool Corps, Deadpool Team-Up, the miniseries Deadpool: Wade Wilson’s War and some other miscellaneous appearances. He’s been revealed as a new character in the long-awaited Marvel vs. Capcom 3, where his quirks include Moonwalking, beating his opponents with their own life bar, doing a Shoryuken, yelling, “YOU PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON!” when losing and getting tentacle raped by accident via Morrigan Aensland in the opening cinematic.
He also, as recently revealed, is going to have three more comics coming out. One is Deadpool: Pulp, which is in the alternate universe decade-specific retelling spirit of the Marvel Noir series. All I know is that the Jae Lee covers are completely stellar, so that at least has my attention.
The second comic is Deadpool MAX by the team of David Lapham and Kyle Baker – a team that’s been making several comic fans weep in frustration. Isn’t that right, Mr. Brothers?
Then again, I’ll weep in frustration too if the interiors are done in Baker’s current ugly-as-sin computer generated art that makes me pray for the day when his trial copy of Poser finally expires. Come on, man. I know for a fact that you’re better than this.
Even more recently announced is Uncanny X-Force. In the wake of Cable’s death and the revelation that Cyclops put together the latest version of X-Force, Wolverine decides to keep the black ops dream alive himself with an even more secret team made up of Wolverine, Archangel, Psylocke, Fantomex and Deadpool. Deadpool and Fantomex in the same book? I’m completely there. It’s rather interesting how the recent arc in Deadpool’s core book where he joined the X-Men for all of several hours foreshadows this development several times over.
Oh, and Deadpool’s dimensional counterparts are going to be getting their own one-shots, so add that to the pile. Plus that Deadpool #1000 issue.
With Deadpool everywhere, I think it’s about time to get past the groaning and joking about how Deadpool is everywhere. I know I’m just as guilty as everyone else, rolling my eyes when they revealed a third on-going series, but I’ve long reached the state of acceptance. Why? Because most of the time, I’m enjoying the spread shot of Deadpool they’ve been handing us.
These days, Superman is strolling through the country, acting like a smarmy douche to most people he comes across. I think it has something to do with how people slip in the shower and Superman’s not there to help them because he’s too busy making sure monsters from the planet Apokalips aren’t enslaving all existence. You know, minor, self-serving stuff like that. So when a random citizen asks him about why he’s essentially focusing on saving people from slipping in the shower and letting the cosmic threats go unchecked, he quotes Henry David Thoreau for the sake of saying, “Because I’m Superman. You go deal with Doomsday, Poindexter.”
Not good enough, I say.
“What’s that mean? Hey! I asked you a question! What does that mean?”
That guy’s lucky, though. Imagine if he tried the same badgering on the Plutonian.
Yikes.
Another week of panels is upon us. David only tosses in one panel this time around. I remembered to remind him that one of the guidelines for This Week in Panels is not to put anything from the last page. After all, we don’t want to spoil the entire book for you, nor do I want it to be like one of those comic covers that depicts the very last page. Let’s see what he chose.
Amazing Spider-Man #636
Joe Kelly, Zeb Wells and Michael Lark
GODDAMN IT, MAN! WHAT THE HELL?!
Avengers: The Children’s Crusade #1
Allan Heinberg and Jim Cheung
We move closer and closer into the present with the various Mr. T comics and upon hitting 2008, we get to my favorite of the bunch. Now, while Mr. T and the T-Force and the short-lived Mr. T from 2005 involved a couple of neat elements, there’s something rather underwhelming about going the lengths of getting the Mr. T license and not doing anything extra special with it. The A-Team comic wasn’t especially fantastic, but at least it knew that being outlandish couldn’t hurt. The stories made little sense, but we still had B.A. Barracus fighting a sumo, getting into bar fights and knocking out Russian soldiers.
After the unfortunate cancellation of the 2005 Mr. T due to the company closing down, Christopher Bunting decided he would keep it going. He started up Mohawk Media and released yet another Mr. T comic. While the stories are basically split up into issues, including covers, they would not be released separately and by the month. Instead, Bunting would let them loose all at once with the new Mr. T graphic novel.
I don’t know how to feel about that “AS SEEN ON TV” logo.
There are five issues in the trade. The first four are its own story arc with JL Czerniawski on art. The bonus issue is done by artist Giovanni P. Timpano. While, yes, the comic does have a lot of Mr. T being preachy, it’s a lot less forced this time around. The reliance of having Mr. T yell at children for doing drugs is finally put to rest.
Also, between the issues are pages of Mr. T answering fan mail. If you’re wondering, Mr. T believes Clubber Lang would beat B.A. in a fight.
