Since we get right into spoilers for Batman and Robin #1 and for Secret Six #10, I’ll put the cut up front.

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I’ve noticed that occasionally almost all superhero comics have an occasional issue that shows the characters in it just, hanging out, having fun, doing non-superhero things.  Of course these issues generally throw in a fight or two, but most of the plot is the characters having some down time and talking.

These issues often get a great reaction from fans.  A lot of what’s driving that reaction, of course, is the rarity of such issues.  They’re a break from what we’re used to, and that always gets people talking.

It’s tempting to declare that more of such issues would boost sales.  I enjoy them when they come out, and even look forward to them.  But if they were coming out every month, would I still like them as much?  Would anyone?

Tough to say.  Still, I think I would enjoy seeing day-to-day lives of superheroes or teams, or even minor characters.  Perhaps a book that chose different characters each month, like The Brave and the Bold.  If you had to choose, which character from superhero comics would you like to follow around when they’re out of costume?

When asked about the best significant other to pair up with Batman, the first choice I’ve gotten from nearly everyone I talk to is Catwoman.

I understand the symbolic pairing.  His sense of order and her lawlessness.  His grim quest and her indulgent enthusiasms.  Their two avatars complementing each other.  That really works in the comics.  I can totally get on board with them as the two those two people who can’t keep their hands off each other. 

But in every other way, I just don’t feel the pairing at all.  They don’t work except jumping across rooftops flirting with each other.  Whenever they interact in any other way, all I can think about when I see the two of them together is how he’s too good for her while she is, simultaneously, too good for him.

Professionally, he’s too good for her.  He’s a guy who works tirelessly to rid the streets of crime, to look out for the truly helpless, to make sure that no one else has to feel what he felt as a child.  She’s a klepto with some social skills.

But then, at least she has those social skills.  Good god, imagine dating Bruce Wayne even if you knew he was Batman.

“I don’t know Bruce, what do you think the Penguin is up to?”

“Gee, Bruce, that’s okay.  I don’t mind you missing dinner again.  It’s only been sixteen days in a row.”

“Wow.  That’s a picture of a really cute kid.  So how did you get estranged from this one?”

Even aside from all of that, honestly, what a boring, judgmental, withdrawn, sullen, self-righteous, and humorless prick Batman is.  I love him.  I got into comics reading Batman.  But he’s a trial to be around, and I can’t ignore that.

Selina Kyle, on the other hand, has consistently shown, wit, humor, empathy, charm and a joie de vivre that would make her a fantastic date and a great girlfriend.

So while these two are equally weighted and eternally paired in the public consciousness, and while they really do know how to steam up a fight scene, I’ve never been a fan.  You?

Buffy’s coming back to the big screen!  And when I say, ‘Buffy’, I mean just her.  Not Willow, or Angel, or Xander, or Giles, or Oz, or Dawn, or Joss Whedon.

Or any reference to the television series.

So, some girl who is blonde and stakes vampires.  Or perhaps she stakes vampires.  One of the people involved in re-making the series is Roy Lee, whose past films include The Strangers (People struggle helplessly against evil but evil wins.), The Grudge (People again struggle helplessly against evil but it still kind of wins.), and The Ring (Well.  We’ll call this one a possible draw for evil.  Nah.  Screw that.  It wins.).  I hope at some point during the hiring process someone asked Mister Lee whether or not he could make a movie in which good triumphs.

So what do you think.  Will this help you not look like a decaying dinosaur when you make Buffy references to today’s impressionable youth?  Or is this basically a way of turning Buffy into a brand name?

As part of the ongoing Green Lantern: The Masquerade theme, I’ve been looking through the various Green Lantern Corps, wondering what Corps I’d be signing up for.

Green is traditional, and I look good in the color.  But come on, willpower?  Me?  I’ve spent the last five years swearing that I’d get up early tomorrow and go jogging.  Also I’d have to put up with Guy Gardner.

Red?  I do like kitties, and they have one on staff.  But rage is tiring and vomiting lava is hard on the throat.

Yellow is a terrible color for me, and I can’t see myself instilling fear in anyone.

Forget about the Pink Corps of Star Sapphires.  Wearing that little clothing in the icy vacuum of space?  Why don’t I just pour a tray of ice cubes down my pants?

I flat-out hate the Indigo Lanterns.  Serene bastards.   You’re supposed to be compassionate!  Get off your lazy benevolent asses and get to work!

The Blue, the Lanterns of Hope, might get my vote, because hey, I’m hopeful.  Didn’t I spend the last four months hoping that they wouldn’t cancel Dollhouse?  And lo, they did not.   Behold my power!

But then there’s the Orange Corps.  Honestly, these are the ones I really want to be on.  Imagine all the cool stuff you’d get if someone gave you an magic wishing ring powered by greed.  That would rock.  And hard.

Sadly, as far as I can see, the Orange Corps is headed by Larfleeze, who looks like a bug would if it had just flown up your nose during an otherwise lovely bike ride and forced you to sneeze it out into your hand again.  And the only way you can join the Corps is to let Larfleeze kill you and steal your identity.

There’s always a catch, isn’t there?

We all know the story.  Fan meets comic.  Fan loves comic.  Fan loses comic.

Not through cancellation!

As Emerson said, “Of all the ways to lose a comic, cancellation is the kindest.” 

Or something like that.

No.  Sometimes you lose a comic because the artist changes, or the writer changes, or there is some editorial futzing with it.

Sometimes though, one just falls out of love.  Sometimes a character that seemed fun or cool or exciting gets unbearable when the same flaws are brought to light again and again. 

Sometimes I start out singing the praises of a certain writer, and then something happens.  I have to say that they’re having a bad story arc.  Or some evil editor forced them to write a certain thing.  Then I say the book isn’t a good match.  Sometimes I love a certain storyline, but then come to realize that that storyline, that ‘fresh, new take’, that idea, is all they are capable of.  In the end, I have to admit that I’ve fallen out of love with the writing.

Or the artist.  Oh boy, how many times have seen some new artist’s work and loved it, only to look at the issue six months later and scream, “WHY are you drawing a line there?  There is no part of human anatomy that would make that line go there!  You’re just doing it to be ‘artistic.'”

I think it’s this gradual disenchantment that makes for the bitterest of comics fans.  If you think some idea is stupid, or have low expectations at the beginning, you develop a healthy detachment.  But when you start out loving something and have high hopes for it, only to see it mutate into something you’re embarrassed to read – that’ll make you post some angry rants on message boards.

So.  Post your tales of love and loss below.  Come on.  Get it all out.  Just . . . clean up, after.

All right, I was the very last person in the world to read Blackest Night, but as I was going through the explanation of all the different Lantern Guilds at the end of the book I stumbled across this:

The blue ring charges a green ring and de-charges a yellow.

Is it just me, or does anyone else hear a pair of dice rolling when they read a phrase like that?

I think that the various Lantern Guilds at war with each other would make fantastic role-playing games.

I’d like to start by thanking everyone for their responses to my post last week about how sexiness is used in the comics industry.

Believe it or not, that post was going to be longer.  I was going to add an extraneous bit about how Batman or the Joker would never be shown in the poses that Harley Quinn or Catwoman were in on the covers of those books, and how that was an example of sexism.

Now I can’t decide whether it is or not.  Not because I think that Batman would be posed the way that Oracle was on any of the covers of her comic, but because the artists, when drawing female characters one way and male characters another, are simply following the rules of society in general.

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I recently saw the solicit for Batman in Barcelona: Dragon’s Knight, the upcoming one-shot from DC.

When a string of bizarre murders hits Spain’s beautiful coastal city of Barcelona, The Dark Knight makes solving this crime his top priority. Full of international intrigue, high adventure and even higher stakes, BATMAN IN BARCELONA: DRAGON’S KNIGHT showcases The Caped Crusader in a different type of Gotham – but one no less dangerous!

Barcelona is like Gotham?  Because Gotham is an urban hellhole, plagued by every kind of crime, disease, corruption, poverty and natural disaster.  Has the Barcelona Tourist Bureau heard about this?

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about how women are portrayed on the covers of various comic books.  I’m relieved to hear it because my frustration level, every week when I see the solicits, has been rising.  At least I know I’m not alone.  I’ve planned a longer post on this issue later on, but for now, I’ll keep it short.

I’ve seen many positive responses to the covers.  ‘Being sexy is good, not bad,’ and ”this is what sells’ seem to be the most popular.  Maybe they’re true.  But at the same time, they’re the ones that bother me the most.

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