May 31st, 2009 by | Tags: , ,

When asked about the best significant other to pair up with Batman, the first choice I’ve gotten from nearly everyone I talk to is Catwoman.

I understand the symbolic pairing.  His sense of order and her lawlessness.  His grim quest and her indulgent enthusiasms.  Their two avatars complementing each other.  That really works in the comics.  I can totally get on board with them as the two those two people who can’t keep their hands off each other. 

But in every other way, I just don’t feel the pairing at all.  They don’t work except jumping across rooftops flirting with each other.  Whenever they interact in any other way, all I can think about when I see the two of them together is how he’s too good for her while she is, simultaneously, too good for him.

Professionally, he’s too good for her.  He’s a guy who works tirelessly to rid the streets of crime, to look out for the truly helpless, to make sure that no one else has to feel what he felt as a child.  She’s a klepto with some social skills.

But then, at least she has those social skills.  Good god, imagine dating Bruce Wayne even if you knew he was Batman.

“I don’t know Bruce, what do you think the Penguin is up to?”

“Gee, Bruce, that’s okay.  I don’t mind you missing dinner again.  It’s only been sixteen days in a row.”

“Wow.  That’s a picture of a really cute kid.  So how did you get estranged from this one?”

Even aside from all of that, honestly, what a boring, judgmental, withdrawn, sullen, self-righteous, and humorless prick Batman is.  I love him.  I got into comics reading Batman.  But he’s a trial to be around, and I can’t ignore that.

Selina Kyle, on the other hand, has consistently shown, wit, humor, empathy, charm and a joie de vivre that would make her a fantastic date and a great girlfriend.

So while these two are equally weighted and eternally paired in the public consciousness, and while they really do know how to steam up a fight scene, I’ve never been a fan.  You?

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17 comments to “Bat/Cat”

  1. The correct answer to this one is “Wonder Woman.”

    Wonder Woman is the ultimate woman and obviously needs the ultimate man, and Bruce is essentially Steve Trevor turned up to eleven. Their interactions in JLU were a lot of fun. I’ve just always liked that pairing.

    Selina can have, uh, Slam Bradley or something. Or Black Mask!

  2. I’m also big on Bruce/Diana because of JLU. Though I have to say, when they tried it out briefly during..Kelly’s run(?) of the print JLA it ended up falling flat…

    I also ship Question/Huntress because of the cartoon. Sure he’s dead now, but thats no reason Helena can’t have a steamy affair with Rene…

  3. It’s too childishly twee and convenient. I’d like it better if Morrison brought back the original Batwoman and they got back together.

  4. Catwoman doesn’t have enough patience (plus the idea of either of them settling down strikes me as bizarre). And Wonder Woman is probably the only woman on Earth that could make Bruce insecure.

    My suggestion? Dinah Lance. I blame Gail Simone for teasing this idea in my head and the ridiculous flights of fancy that ensued. She can take care of herself, she can keep up with him, she can put him in his place when necessary, she can handle interacting (leading?) the Bat-Family, etc, etc. Plus, Green Arrow settling down with one woman is like Captain Kirk settling down with one woman.

  5. @OnimaruXLR: she can put him in his place?

    No characters that exist or existed in comic books can put Batman anywhere. (As long as they’re non-powered and even if not, it ain’t likely to happen) He’s the man who puts people in their place. If writers have written otherwise, they didn’t get the memo.

    On the pairing side; yeah, I’d go with Selina and Bruce though Diana and Bruce would be great too. And Dini’s teasing of Bruce and Zatanna getting together was great too.

    But let’s talk about the real pair that are hurtin right now: Pete and MJ.
    I can hear the fans groanin.

  6. @Niles Day: No characters that exist or existed in comic books can put Batman anywhere. (As long as they’re non-powered and even if not, it ain’t likely to happen) He’s the man who puts people in their place. If writers have written otherwise, they didn’t get the memo.




  7. Hate the Bat/Cat pairing. Hate almost every female paired with Bruce/Bats, because they turn into a moon in his orbit. It’s not good. And they all need rescue, either from danger or from their own proclivities. Barf.

    I also thought that Gaiman’s story in the WHTTCC book where Catwoman kills him was rather diagnostic. She is a sickness which can only corrupt and lay him low, to settle with her would only kill him.

    On the other hand don’t even get me started on Talia, blargh. I’d like to cram her Beloved up her ass.

  8. Batman(like Wolverine) is way too badass for any woman.

    That said, there was an episode of TAS where the teamed up and it worked very well. It wasn’t just roofhopping and flirting, they actually foiled some criminals…a jewel heist maybe? I don’t know, it was a decade or more ago that I saw the episode, but I remember them being pretty awesome together.

  9. Batman + Catwoman is the high-school or college pairing that doesn’t last. It sets a lot of fires, good and bad, but it doesn’t last. Both grow and learn from it, and move on. If not at first, they’ll be amicable again eventually.

    Let’s face it, Batman can never ever justify letting himself go and get married. For it to happen, Bruce Wayne would have to do, not the Batman. And that woman would have a mundane job that’s a form of public service, like a doctor or teacher. She would have a deep and resilient belief in the good of humanity.

    In other words, she’d be an idealized version of the mother he never really knew.

  10. As of now, I am a proponent of Wayler. Or Batmate. Or whatever trendy portemanteau name that Bruce Wayne/Batman and Amanda Waller/Checkmate’s badass leader would warrant.

  11. @Gavok/Evil Abraham Lincoln:

    This was a certain Mr. Brother’s fault

  12. @Gavok: Righhhhhhhhhhht. Like I said, if it was written, they didn’t get the memo. And if Batman saw Waller as a threat, believe that she wouldn’t be a threat for long. But let’s pretend I don’t what’s what; what issue did she put him in his place?

  13. @Niles Day: Ostrander is more powerful than any memo.

    Here you see Batman. That area on the left side of the cover is his place. Amanda Waller just put him there.

  14. Yeah, that issue is definitive. Definitely one of the all-time greats.

  15. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmcykee2UJ0

    You can cut the sexual tension in this scene with a knife.

  16. @Gavok: First off, that cover is nicely metaphorical. Never happened in the issue. Secondly, that issue features a Batman who didn’t think his plan out in its entirety, which is the only reason Waller could even talk back to him. As we all know, unless we’re talking about rookie Batman, Batman doesn’t make half-ass plans. So again, writers, memos, i think you get the idea. And since you gave a nice picture, I got one that actually happened in the issue:

  17. i have to disagree with all of the above comments. I love the bat/cat pairing and Selina is best suited for bats despite dc’s current attempt to downplay them.