King of Trios 2008: Night 3

DVD

Thing I should note here is that this is a long one and probably the longest of all the King of Trios shows, nearing the 4 hour mark. It’s 11 matches with one of them being a tag gauntlet. That’s more exhausting when you add in a 20 minute intermission and however long I had to wait before the show started. I’d be watching myself in the crowd and wonder why I wasn’t as into it as I should be, but then I remember how taxing the weekend was.

Luckily, the shows from here on out are mercifully shorter and easier to handle in one go.

The third night’s DVD is introduced by Steve “The Turtle” Weiner, a weird but enthusiastic member of the CHIKARA staff and occasional wrestler. He has some brackets drawn up and goes over who will face who, though appears to completely forget to mention Team Japan at all. But with eight teams left, that means seven trios matches, so we begin with…

Match 1
King of Trios Quarterfinals
FIST (Icarus, Gran Akuma and Chuck Taylor) vs. the Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Worker Ant)

An interview shows all three members of FIST going over their match. Akuma notes that FIST and the Colony are the only trios to be in both King of Trios 2007 and 2008 (ignoring the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple, but whatever). Chuck proceeds to go cliché by saying that he’s going to squash the ants. As the Colony make their entrance, Soldier is decked out with military gear, including a helmet. It’s decided that Chuck will start for his team so when Icarus steps out onto the apron and out of the ring, the fans cheer. He has second thoughts and steps back into the ring, causing boos. Then he steps back out to cheers. Back in to boos. Cheers, boos, cheers, boos, etc. Chuck leaves the ring for a second to grab Worker Ant’s fanny pack, throws it to the mat and elbow drops it.

Chuck puts Worker into a headlock and gets WAAAY too excited about the move until being shoved off. Worker crossbodies him and Chuck rolls out. Fire vs. Icarus is extremely one-sided with Fire showing off his lucha skills. Then it’s Akuma vs. Soldier, where after locking up, Soldier succeeds in manipulating Akuma’s arms so that he’s saluting. An annoyed Akuma suckerkicks him and Soldier ends up in peril. Chuck hits him with a cool Flapjack, but he kicks out. Soldier briefly save himself with a Sunset Flip, but Chuck gets back up and silences him with one of his picture-perfect dropkicks. Akuma powerbombs Icarus’ body onto Soldier and then they do their triple-team dropkick in the corner spot. Soldier kicks out. Soldier rolls up Icarus for a sit-down pin, Icarus shoves him off and Soldier ends up being shoved right into his team’s corner, where he tags Worker in.

Worker’s tenure falls apart quickly and all three FIST members stomp him down into the mat. This is cut short by Fire hopping off the top-rope and dropkicking Chuck and Icarus. Then he and Akuma do a series of reversals until Akuma gets him with the Tenchi Crash (a Tombstone-style facebuster). There’s a fast-paced trading of opponents all around and among the madness, Vin Gerard is spotted as looking on. Then we get one of the coolest spots of the night where Chuck does a second-rope Sole Food on Worker, Icarus grabs him for a German suplex, Akuma quickly does his own German and then when Worker stands back up, Chuck does a running kick that sends him flipping onto his head.

Worker kicks out, but the crowd is going absolutely nuts for this. Soldier accidentally topes Worker on the outside and then Chuck and Icarus dive onto them. That leaves Fire vs. Akuma. Fire gets to the top and Akuma stops him and throws him with his Spider Suplex. Fire lands on his feet, climbs onto Akuma’s shoulders and they both fall into the ring. The other two ants roll back in, they pick up Akuma and do the Ant Hill in the center of the ring with Fire landing on Akuma and netting the pin for his team. Vin Gerard is at ringside, smugly clapping and then walks out of the arena.

Match 2
King of Trios Quarterfinals
Los Luchadores de Mexico (Lince Dorado, Incognito and El Pantera) vs. Team Quackenbush (Mike Quackenbush, Shane Storm and Jorge Rivera)

It doesn’t come off quite as strongly on the DVD, but Incognito’s mask and pants are a mind-trip to see live. They’re red, but they shine blue. I couldn’t stop staring at them!

Lince and Storm start the match off and good God, Storm is sloppy here with his lucha stuff. The crowd is still wired from the previous match, so they cheer it anyway. They do a stand-off that doesn’t look very good and we wipe the memory away with Quack vs. Incognito. Lot of intense lucha grappling in the beginning, with the speed picking up and Quack sending him out of the ring. Rivera steps in for a second and raises Quack’s hand before walking back to the apron. Then it’s Pantera vs. Rivera, the battle of the two middle-aged and super experienced luchadores. The crowd is ecstatic at this matchup and it’s a good thing because these two go at it for a long time. They do an exchange of pin attempts, moving into submissions. The whole thing is slow and methodical, but a total blast to watch. I mean, check out these holds by Pantera.

I don’t even…

After they’re done with their clinic, Quack tags in and applauds what just happened. During his clapping, Pantera interrupts with a spinning heel kick. Pantera and Incognito face off against Quack with Rivera entering to make it a 2-on-2 showdown that’s completely awesome, but far too hard for me to properly call. Quack and Rivera armdrag their opponents out and successfully prevent themselves from hopping over the ropes when Pantera and Incognito evade. Storm gets the best of Lince and puts him in peril. Quack and Rivera get him in a crazy combination of a Romero Special and a headlock.

Storm sends him flying with a German suplex, but Lince lands on his feet, flips onto Storm’s shoulders and brings him down with an X-Factor. Incognito is tagged in and gets the better of Rivera before throwing him from the ring and landing a hell of a tope for a guy Incognito’s size. Lince returns and has a fast-paced battle with Quack that ends with Lince falling prey to a reverse brainbuster. A second attempt at the move is stopped by another Pantera spinning heel kick. Storm goes at him with That Japanese Move, Pantera blocks it and hits his own rendition of the Shining Wizard. Much like last year, the match ends with Quack and Pantera going back and forth with various pin attempts and nearfalls, but this time it’s Pantera who gets the pin out of nowhere. Amazing match.

At the time of this show, Quack is the NWA Junior Heavyweight Champion, so Pantera demands a title shot right after. Quack speaks to him in Spanish and ultimately agrees to his terms with a handshake. Seeing as how they saw his last match of the show, the crowd chants, “Thank you, Skayde!” for Rivera and he seems touched by it. This is really awkward to watch knowing what will happen in two years time.

Match 3
King of Trios Quarterfinals
BLKOUT (Eddie Kingston, Joker and Ruckus) vs. Team Japan (KUDO, MIYAWAKI and SUSUMU)

The BLKOUT show that despite being heels, they still aren’t cowards as for the first time, we see a trio refuse to leave the ring in fear of KUDO doing his nunchakus routine. Joker even kicks at him. Once the bell hits, BLKOUT rush Team Japan and it becomes a big outside brawl. MIYAWAKI and Joker find their way into the ring and challenge each other to an intense shoulderblock war. After a couple harsh impacts, MIYAWAKI wins out. KUDO and SUSUMU double-team Ruckus and the commentary gets kind of interesting. Usually, they’d try to push BLKOUT as having an unfair advantage. They got a bye in the first round, dominated the second round and weren’t there for Night 2. As it turns out, they all had to fly around the country on the second day to compete in two different matches, so they’re pretty exhausted and jetlagged all things considered.

Ruckus saves himself with a surprise Pele kick on KUDO and tags in Eddie, who bites on KUDO. In one of the grosser and not-quite-family-friendly moments, Joker holds him down, puts his hand in his pants briefly and then fishhooks KUDO’s mouth. Eugh. KUDO eventually pops back up in a show of fighting spirit and unleashes a flurry of strikes, but he’s silenced by a brainbuster. Sometime after, he ducks a punch, lands a roundhouse kick and tags his way out. MIYAWAKI bodyslams each BLKOUT member, gets held back by Joker and Eddie mistakenly hits Joker due to MIYAWAKI escaping. Each Team Japan member puts a BLKOUT member in a submission hold until Joker stands up and hits MIYAWAKI with SUSUMU!

With everyone else outside the ring, KUDO ducks a Ruckus clothesline and topes onto the others. Ruckus moonsaults onto them all and another massive brawl ensues. Neat part here is when SUSUMU is thrown into the rail, he hops up onto it and flips onto BLKOUT like a cannonball. Starting with MIYAWAKI vs. Eddie, both teams trade off with a chain of finishing moves, returning to MIYAWAKI vs. Eddie. They absolutely kill each other here. Eddie plants him with a back suplex driver, MIYAWAKI bounces back to his feet, eats a Backfist to the Future and they both go down in a ring full of half-conscious bodies. Eddie stumbles back up and is punished with a series of KUDO’s patented kicks. After taking a nasty one to the skull, Eddie is saved from the pin by Joker. SUSUMU does his twisting Yoshi Tonic on Joker, but this time Eddie makes the save. He holds SUSUMU over his shoulder, Ruckus flies off the top with a knee to SUSUMU’s head and he still kicks out. Eddie and SUSUMU have an exchange of hard slaps until SUSUMU goes for his Yoshi Tonic variation one more time. Eddie instead throws him down, gets him with the backfist and pins him. Big standing ovation for this one and it’s very well-deserved.

Match 4
King of Trios Quarterfinals
The Fabulous Three (Larry Sweeney, Mitch Ryder and Shayne Hawke) vs. the Golden Trio (Hallowicked, Delirious and Helios)

Golden Trio has a pre-match promo where we see Delirious and Hallowicked mumbling their usual insane gibberish with Helios trying to explain their impending victory through normal English. His partners keep speaking in tongues until Helios too begins yelling nonsense. When they make their way to the ring, we see that Helios is wearing his own version of Delirious’ mask and tights. He joins him for the opening spots where they remain completely still until the bell rings and Delirious and Helios run around like raving maniacs, scaring the bejeezus out of Shayne Hawke. Hawke puts Helios in a headlock, gets shoved off and Helios begins hitting him with shoulder tackles and a fist drop, following with John Cena gestures, causing the crowd to momentarily turn on him.

Mitch comes in and gets armdragged. Helios tags in Hallowicked and they slow it down a good amount until Hallowicked boots Mitch out of there. Sweeney challenges Delirious to a Test of Strength, but Delirious stomps him on the foot. Hawke runs in and slaps Delirious on the chest as hard as possible, to absolutely zero effect. Hawke tries a few more times until Delirious fakes pain. As Hawke feels pretty good about himself, Delirious screams and frightens him off. Hawke rolls out of the ring, then rolls back in and trips Delirious from behind. Sweeney comes in and starts stomping down on him. Delirious fights back and bounces against the ropes, only to get kicked in the back by Mitch. The three heels beat him down in the corner. Delirious briefly holds down Mitch with a Sunset Flip, only the ref is distracted by Hawke and Mitch escapes. Delirious is beaten on for a good while and Sweeney aims to put him down with a sleeper hold. Delirious fights out of it, suplexes Sweeney and makes the tag.

Helios and Hallowicked clean house. Mitch and Hawke are both thrown into corners right before Hallowicked lands a knee to the face and Helios does a flipping kick. That leaves Sweeney sitting in the corner, open for Delirious’ Panic Attack. He follows with Shadows Over Heck and Helios does a running Shooting Star Press into a pin for the win. Afterwards, Hawke angrily blames Sweeney for their loss with Mitch rather shocked that it wasn’t Hawke who cost them the victory. Sweeney tries to save face by leading an assault on the Golden Trio on the ramp. They rough them up with some suplexes on the concrete and slamming their heads into the steel posts. With the Golden Trio hardly moving, FIST walk out with Icarus announcing that due to the iffy circumstances of how they lost the tag titles, he and Gran Akuma will be granted a rematch in the future without having to acquire three points.

Match 5
Tag Team Gauntlet

The first teams here are the Immortals and North Star Express (Darin Corbin and Ryan Cruz). One Immortal faces Cruz to start and Cruz easily sends him out of the ring and then follows with an Asai Moonsault. The other Immortal misses a clothesline and Corbin topes out onto the first Immortal. They double-team one of the Immortals in the ring, do their finisher the Cruz Control and pin him. As the next team is announced, Cruz is shown talking to some fans. Being there, I can tell you that some guys near me in the front row were ragging on Cruz for his likeness to Matt Hardy and asked him to do a Twist of Fate. Cruz took it in stride and explained that he never figured out how to do that elaborate move.

Team #3 is the Kartel (Sha Samuels and Terry Frazier), which means more “Vindaloo”! They waste a lot of time jawing with the fans until Cruz has enough and dives onto them both. Corbin brawls with Samuels as Cruz takes on Frazier. It gets back into the ring and the North Star Express fall prey to the Crippler Crossface and Boston Crab. Again, ton of boos for the Crossface. Both Corbin and Cruz tap, meaning it’s time for…

The Southern Saints (Marcus O’Neil and Shawn Reed) up next. The Kartel attack on the ramp and there’s a lengthy outside brawl. O’Neil throws Frazier into a brick wall, rushes into the ring and tries to roll up Samuels. He runs right into a spinebuster shortly after and is on the defense. O’Neil is thrown into the corner and puts his feet up just in time to nail Samuels. Then he gets to the top and does a Dragon Hurricanrana that looks rather ugly and pins him.

Las Chivas Rayadas (Chiva III and Chiva IV) rush down and mix it up with the Kartel. They try for some kind of Doomsday Device variation on O’Neil, but Reed shoves one Chiva off the top rope and O’Neil gives the other a reverse hurricanrana. The crowd is well behind the Chivas here, but the Saints repeatedly double-team them. O’Neil stops for a second so he can spit into the other Chiva on the apron before continuing the beatdown. Reed carries the beaten Chiva over his shoulders, but the other Chiva shoves him into O’Neil. Both Chivas spit on O’Neil to pay him back, then succeed in what they were trying earlier: a Doomsday Device with a flying forearm instead of a clothesline. O’Neil is pinned and the Southern Saints are done.

The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) are #6. One Chiva gets tossed out of there and the other is worked on by both Uno and Stupefied. Now, as the years go on, Uno would go on to become an excellent and refined talent in the ring, but unfortunately those early years are a little hard to watch sometimes. Especially when working with the Chivas, who are no spring chickens themselves. After some confusion on how to set up a spot, Stupefied jumps off the top for a Frogsplash. The other Chiva knocks him out of the air with a headbutt. Uno picks him up in a fireman’s carry, but the free Chiva presses the pause button on Uno’s pants. With Uno stuck in place, the goats repeatedly headbutt him in a circle. He’s unpaused, collapses and they double-pin him.

Go and Motosugu Shimizu come out and squash Las Chivas with a handful of power moves. Go delivers a powerbomb on one Chiva with the other breaking the pin. Las Chivas get some momentum in there, but one goes for a moonsault senton off the top rope, misses and Shimizu makes him tap with the Cattle Mutilation.

Our next team is Sweet ‘n’ Sour Incorporated (Sara Del Rey and Bobby Dempsey). Bobby is winded just from running to the ring. Sara is beaten down by the El Dorado team until Bobby finally makes it in and clotheslines them both. He crushes them with a double Avalanche and Sara German suplexes Shimizu out of there. Go isn’t out just yet and Spears Sara. Bobby grabs Go for a suplex that Larry Sweeney on commentary coins as the Loveable Loser Drop. He holds Go up for a Death Valley Driver, waits first for Sara to axe-kick Go in the skull and then drops him down. Bobby gets the pin and we’re up to team #9.

The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple (Crossbones and Hydra) walk out with UltraMantis accompanying them. Hydra mocks Sara by walking around all feminine and challenges her to a Test of Strength. She dominates that, but Crossbones gets her and throws her from the ring. Bobby and Crossbones stare each other down, leaving Bobby open to Hydra grabbing him from behind for the Hydralock. He can’t quite lock it due to Bobby’s size, but Crossbones starts kicking him in the gut repeatedly until Bobby just kind of gives up… I guess. Not even Sweeney could really follow this part.

Crossbones and Hydra celebrate, feeling as though they had to be the last team and therefore are the winners. They lose that feeling when the lights go out and the theme for Demolition (Ax and Smash) starts blaring. Smash takes care of Crossbones in the ring while Ax slams UltraMantis and Hydra’s heads together. He enters and the two completely murder Crossbones. Smash clotheslines him out and Hydra runs in, posing and posturing at them until they grab him and put him down with the Demolition Decapitation. The ref makes the count, but Hydra and Crossbones were robbed.

Look at that! Foot is right under the rope! Anyway, Demolition celebrate by shaking hands with fans. I remember Ax smelled really bad. Kind of ironic, if you think about it.

Sorry, that joke was a long reach.

Match 6
King of Trios Semifinals
The Golden Trio (Hallowicked, Delirious and Helios) vs. BLKOUT (Eddie Kingston, Joker and Ruckus)

Both teams are obviously still hurting from their previous matches. Helios is now decked out in Hallowicked’s outfit, referred to as Heliowicked. He sets to lockup with Joker, but Joker cheapshots him and the rest of the BLKOUT rush the Golden Trio in no time flat. Helios is thrown into the corner and endures Ruckus’ handspring back elbow, Eddie’s Yakuza Kick and Joker’s Cannonball. Eddie takes Helios apart with some HARD slap, a HARD powerbomb and then an axe kick to his prone body. Ruckus comes in and does his own crazy offense, including some spinny driver move and a rolling Fisherman’s Suplex into the corner.

The BLKOUT continue to punish Helios, ending when Eddie goes for another powerbomb and it’s reversed into a hurricanrana. Helios tags in Hallowicked and they give Joker a taste of his own medicine by setting him up in the corner and taking turns with Helios’ flipping kick, Hallowicked’s knee lift and Delirious’ Panic Attack. Ruckus breaks the pin. Delirious chokeslams Ruckus, followed by Joker chokeslamming Delirious and then Hallowicked chokeslamming Joker. Eddie simply throws Hallowicked out of the ring and Helios makes an attempt to chokeslam the much larger Kingston… and gets clotheslined into another reality.

…Yeah. Hallowicked and Eddie revive their old rivalry with a trading of Yakuza Kicks and then a series of vicious slaps. Hallowicked picks him up and gets him with Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Eddie remains on his feet and eats enziguris from Delirious and Hallowicked, followed by a DDT from Helios. Joker stops that pin. Hallowicked boots him in the face, Delirious delivers Shadows Over Heck and once again, Helios tries to finish the match with a running Shooting Star Press. Ruckus makes the save. A lot of the action spills to the outside of the ring, distracting the ref, Bryce Remsburg. Hallowicked and Joker struggle with grapple reversals with no clear winner and since the ref doesn’t see it, Joker slaps his knee hard and falls over while gripping his junk. Bryce turns around to see Hallowicked standing over what appears to be a low-blowed Joker and gets the wrong impression. The Golden Trio are disqualified on the spot and the BLKOUT advance to the finals.

Naturally, the Golden Trio are absolutely pissed. Ruckus walks over to the camera man and remarks how they’re the best due to being so smart. Bryce notices that the celebrating Joker is no longer favoring his crotch and gets confused. The fans begin to chant, “RESTART THE MATCH!” and Bryce runs off flustered. The crowd give a good ovation to the Golden Trio, leading them off with a nice, “BAH!” chant.

Match 7
King of Trios Semifinals
The Colony (Soldier Ant, Fire Ant and Worker Ant) vs. Los Luchadores de Mexico (Lince Dorado, Incognito and El Pantera)

Worker anxiously walks over to the opposing corner and shakes hands with them, although Incognito is reluctant and wipes his nose first. That’s the beginning of a weird pattern where the Mexican team plays quasi-heel in this match. Soldier starts against Pantera and Pantera’s experience helps make Soldier look like a fool at first. Soon, Soldier gets into the game and starts landing on his feet after every move Pantera tries on him, each time saluting until the final time when he does a saluting forearm and sends Pantera stumbling out of the ring. Fire vs. Lince is one-sided for Fire Ant as he gets the best of each exchange and throws him around with a Fireman’s Carry. Then it’s Worker vs. Incognito, which is even until Incognito lands a cheapshot. Incognito does an elaborate stretching move and Worker gets out of it by being completely awesome.

Did Undertaker ever break out of a submission hold by simply sitting up? He should have.

Worker starts breaking out some headscissors to fling Incognito around, but the second try gets him thrown off. The Mexican team begins to pull Worker to their side of the ring and work him over, making frequent tags. Incognito does a senton from the ring apron and then a powerbomb, but Worker kicks out. Pantera takes a second to run across the ring and attack Soldier and Fire for the sake of being a jerk. Then he and Incognito gain more ire from the crowd by botching whatever this is.

Too bad you can’t hear the huge audience groan in response.

Around this time, Vin Gerard shows up and hangs around ringside with a chair in hand. Worker gets an opening and is able to evade and fight back against all three opponents before making the tag to Soldier. Soldier completes three spinning armdrags against Los Luchadores and Fire lets loose with a series of dropkicks. With their enemies outside the ring, Fire is thrown onto them with the Antapult. Incognito is thrown in, but he recovers quickly and Tigerbombs Worker Ant. Worker forces a shoulder up. Soldier brings Pantera in and sets him up for a saluting hurricanrana off the top rope, but Pantera stops it and powerbombs him into the center of the ring. Lince climbs to the top and Fire stops him by tossing him with a Fireman’s Carry. He sets up for his finisher, the Beach Breaker, but Lince rolls out of it and turns it into a submission. Worker saves his partner.

Lince is held in place so that they can have Fire Ant splash onto him with the Ant Hill, but at this critical moment, Fire chooses to instead jump out of the ring and onto the sneering Gerard. He loses himself and angrily pounds on him as the luchador team regroups and take Soldier apart. Worker is left to fend against Incognito and eats a combination of a plancha senton and an Asai Moonsault. Incognito pins him, earning a spot into the finals while Fire Ant and Vin Gerard continue to brawl. The Colony gang up on Gerard and throw him into a nearby garbage can before leaving in a huff.

You know, this show has been really well-booked for the most part, but it cheapens things when both semifinals have screwjob endings. We’re getting a finals between two teams who don’t fully deserve to be the best. I don’t get why they didn’t just use this ending to have FIST go over the Colony earlier in the night so they can have Los Luchadores win against FIST and move into the finals. At least we do get one thing out of this scenario. When Vin Gerard finally gets out of that trash can, he finds out about the very next match.

Match 8
Vin Gerard vs. Martin Stone vs. Reno Diamond vs. Glacier
Four Corners Elimination Match

Gerard is plenty steamed about these turn of events. Glacier is again cheered by the crowd, partially because he’s the only face in this match. He gets such chants as, “LET’S GO GLACIER!” “PLEASE KILL VIN!” and, “BLOOD RUNS COLD!” The ref once again finds chains all over Diamond and disposes of them. Stone takes exception to the ref checking him for foreign objects and pulls the ref into the corner so he can check him. Diamond offers a handshake to Stone, but Stone just flicks his sweat at him. He puts Diamond in a headlock and Diamond is panicked at realizing Stone has no hair to grab. He tags in Gerard and the emo wrestler is quickly surprised by a spin kick from Diamond. Glacier is tagged in by Diamond, leading to the crowd warning, “GLACIER’S GONNA KILL YOU!” Gerard evades the lockups and slaps Glacier instead. Glacier chases him out and around the ring, meaning that Stone and Diamond are back in.

Stone sets Diamond up for a superplex and is shoved off, leaving him open for a Swanton. Stone still fights back and drapes Diamond’s legs over the top rope for a DDT. Stone pins Diamond and we’re down to three. Stone and Glacier punch back and forth. Glacier tries his Cryonic Kick, only for Stone to duck under. From the apron, Gerard hits Stone in the back of the head, causing him to stumble into Glacier’s double chop. He cradles him and holds him down for a pin. Stone spits at Glacier in a fit of anger and while Glacier’s distracted, Gerard clips his leg. The ref yells at Gerard as Stone reenters the ring to beat down on Glacier out of revenge. He leaves and Gerard has a prone Glacier to beat up.

The fight spills to the outside, where Glacier gets the advantage long enough to allow a little kid to slap Gerard. Gerard begins to dominate again and continues to focus on the knee. Glacier is thrown into the corner and Gerard runs right into a boot to the face. He regains his composure and tries again, still running into the boot. One more try, he stops short, grabs Glacier by the leg and pulls him into the STF. Glacier fights out, gets a second wind and smacks him down with a double chop. He sets up the Cryonic Kick, but once again misses. This time, Gerard rolls him up for a successful pin and gets out of the ring. Though he slides back in when Glacier isn’t looking so he can clip his leg one more time. Vin Gerard is mean.

Match 9
Michael Nakazawa vs. mc KZ

With 31 matches for King of Trios weekend, this is the only one-on-one match. Crazy. For his second CHIKARA match, Nakazawa gets a pretty good reaction. KZ again raps on his way to the ring and the only thing I can understand is when he says, “I love this show!” When referee Derek Sabato needs to check the wrestlers for foreign objects, he sees the overly-oiled Nakazawa and decides, “…you’re good!” As expected, KZ can’t lockup with Nakazawa due to his slippery status and leaves the ring disgusted. He fights back with his own outlandish gimmickery by locking hands with Nakazawa and forcing him to do a pop lock. He gets Nakazawa down onto the mat and puts him in a Camel Clutch. During the match, Nakazawa’s partner Go is in his corner and he makes himself useful by tossing him the bottle of baby oil. Nakazawa pours it onto himself so that KZ slides off.

They fight back and forth with Nakazawa getting more offense in. He nails a really nice Spear, an Olympic Slam and then unsuccessfully tries to pin KZ. He douses himself with even more oil and prepares for a German suplex, but instead he falls back due to his oily grip backfiring. KZ goes to the top and Go grabs his leg, which the ref decides not to DQ him for. Nakazawa gets the bottle of oil, pours it into his mouth and, well…

Nasty. Go holds KZ and Nakazawa tries to spit oil mist into his face, but his misses and gets Go. KZ rolls up Nakazawa, but he kicks out. He hits a powerbomb variation and then a Frog Splash to put him down for good. After the match, Nakazawa and Go make up over their mistake by embracing while Nakazawa continues to pour more oil onto them. Nakazawa gets a rousing, “PLEASE COME BACK!” chant and waves at the crowd while slipping and falling up the ramp.

Match 10
Tim Donst, Create-a-Wrestler, Arik Cannon and Chiva IV vs. Amasis, Ophidian, El Hijo del Ice Cream and Ice Cream Jr.

Sure, why not.

Chiva IV starts against Ophidian, waving his soccer flag around so that the slithering snake man chases after him like a bull. This doesn’t end well for Ophidian, who crawls right into Chiva’s boot. Amasis comes in and they do their world famous team-up move where he holds up Ophidian and they hypnotize their opponent. In this case, Chiva IV falls on his back with his arms and legs sticking straight up. Ophidian investigates and gets rolled up for an unsuccessful pin. Arik Cannon and Hijo are tagged in, taking a moment to stroke their own pointy cranial accessories.

Cannon wrenches Hijo’s arm, causing him to cry. Hijo slaps Cannon, hurts his own hand and begins to cry. Then Cannon slaps him on the chest and makes him break down in tears. Donst gets handily taken down by Amasis, is thrown from the ring and gets up just in time to have Amasis leap over the ropes and crossbody him to the floor. Create-a-Wrestler knocks Junior into the corner and prepares to do the same dangerous dropkick from last year that went horribly wrong. Instead, he plays it safe by gingerly stepping through the ropes and kicking him in the head. Create-a-Wrestler puts Junior into a sleeper hold and Hijo comes in to put him in one as well. Then someone on the tecnico side puts Hijo in a sleeper and so on and so forth until there’s a whole chain of sleeper holds. Donst is the last one and the other seven combatants all fall asleep. Since Donst is the only one awake, his team is crowned the winners. Arik Cannon is shown getting back up while yawning and stretching.

Match 11
King of Trios Finals
BLKOUT (Eddie Kingston, Joker and Ruckus) vs. Los Luchadores de Mexico (Lince Dorado, Incognito and El Pantera)

Walking to the ring, Eddie Kingston proceeds to make light of their earlier victory by grabbing at his crotch in pain and then moves onto mocking Lince Dorado’s seizure from months earlier. He calms his teammates down for the pre-match photo…

And then they jump Los Luchadores. A whole lot of brawling commences with Lince trying an early pin with a hurricanrana. It doesn’t take, so he chases Eddie around the ring while hammering on him. Incognito and Joker have a sweet showdown where Joker can’t land a hit no matter how hard he tries, though Incognito doesn’t share the same problem. Lince’s pursuit of Eddie leads him right into Ruckus’ hands, where he gives him an elaborate Flatliner-type move.

From there, Lince spends most of the match in peril. The BLKOUT take turns brutalizing him and make fun of him regularly. For instance, as Lince tries to crawl to his feet and climbs up Eddie, Eddie slaps him back down, lays next to him and starts to jokingly convulse to a chorus of boos. In a funny moment, Ruckus holds Lince down as Joker bounces off the ropes back and forth several times, gaining more and more speed until stopping and slapping him in the face. Lince takes a ton of punishment, but finds an opening when he turns Ruckus’ Sidewalk Slam into a DDT. Unfortunately, he’s dragged right into the BLKOUT corner, so nuts to that. Joker sets him up for a brainbuster off the second rope, but that too is turned into a DDT. Finally, he makes the tag to Incognito.

Los Luchadores tear the ring up, including a spot where Lince and Pantera both do a 619 on Ruckus. When the ring clears, Joker makes sure to drag the beaten Lince back in to make him the legal man again. There’s a series of trumping here as Incognito defeats Joker, Ruckus defeats Incognito, Pantera defeats Ruckus and Eddie defeats Pantera. Right after, Lince does a springboard and heel kicks Eddie directly in the back of the head.

Joker gives him a German suplex, but Lince rolls with it and lands on his feet. Joker notices that Bryce isn’t looking, so he slaps his leg again and pretends to have gotten hit in the junk once more. This time, Bryce refuses to call it and when Joker springs to his feet in anger, Bryce points out that there’s nothing wrong with him. Joker gets sent to the outside and Lince prepares to dive out onto him, stopped by Eddie and a flurry of slaps. The Backfist to the Future is ducked and Lince tries a backfist of his own. Eddie doesn’t even BUDGE, but he looks pissed and lets loose a lot of hard slaps. He props him onto the top rope for a superplex, but Lince headbutts him down and follows with a Shooting Star Press. Eddie kicks out, so Lince locks him in the CHIKARA Special. Pantera and Incognito have Joker and Ruckus secured, so Eddie has no choice but to tap out.

And so we have our winners of the biggest tournament in wrestling history. I understand why this team would win, as they’ve been trying to push Lince already and the injury redemption only cements the decision, plus they wanted to have a dark horse tecnico team pull it off. I just feel that they misfired by having them go through more popular and likeable teams. The win over Quack’s team was necessary, but rather than move through guys like FIST, Team Egypt and those English guys, they went through Los Ice Creams, Glacier, El Generico and the Colony. The main reason we cheer for them in the end is because they’re the lesser evil against Eddie Kingston and his cronies. From such a well-booked three-day show, this is the only thing that really bugs me.

2009 is up next, where the lighter tournament roster is made up for with a stronger quality of indy talent.

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Posted in Chikara, King of Trios, Wrestlecomics by Gavok |