Normally, I’d place the image of the DVD cover here, but I’ll save that for later. For some reason, they decided that putting the two final teams against each other for the image would be the best idea. In other words, even looking at the cover is a gigantic spoiler for the entire weekend of shows. Since I first saw the show in DVD form, that was really, really annoying.
King of Trios Semifinals
The Kings of Wrestling (Icarus, Gran Akuma and Chuck Taylor) vs. Team Kaentai Dojo (KUDO, MIYAWAKI and Yoshiaki Yago)
As Yago and Akuma face off, the crowd gives a hearty chant of, “YAGO!” before they even get started. The two go straight into kickboxing, hitting hard and blocking when possible. Finally, Yago has had enough and sends Akuma out of the ring with a reverse kick. Taylor bounces into MIYAWAKI’s shoulders a couple times and holds his own far better than Jimmy Olsen the night before, but still goes down in the end. MIYAWAKI and his partners each get their licks in against Taylor until he tags out to Icarus. He and KUDO do a bit of amateur wrestling. Icarus brings in Akuma and the two start striking each other stiffly. Akuma wins the battle and begins making frequent tags as they work over KUDO.
Meanwhile, the commentary team is Larry Sweeney and PWG personality Excalibur and it’s fantastic. Sweeney wasn’t there for Night 2 and asks Excalibur for some details only to discover that Excalibur wasn’t there either. So instead, they start talking about the NBA All-Star Game and Sweeney’s ability to jump 12 feet in the air.
KUDO saves himself against Akuma and does a weird reverse Tarantula type move against the ropes, rolls Akuma into the middle of the ring and dead-lifts him into a German suplex. Huge ovation for it. MIYAWAKI tags in and lays waste to the Kings of Wrestling with a series of bodyslams. All three rudos are toss into the same corner and MIYAWAKI runs in with an elbow. Yago arrives and delivers some heart punches to Akuma. He and MIYAWAKI put Akuma in a double STF as KUDO dropkicks him in the face.
The Kings of Wrestling focus on MIYAWAKI with a string of Chuck Taylor’s Sole Food, Akuma’s Yoshi Tonic and Icarus’ Shiranui. KUDO breaks the pin and then hits Icarus with knees to the face off the top rope. Akuma gives him the Falcon Arrow. Yago breaks the pin and gives Akuma a Rock Bottom. Taylor dropkicks Yago out of the ring and then dives onto all three Japanese dudes. Yago is thrown back in and they triple team him. Akuma and Icarus hold him down as Taylor performs a crisp moonsault, but he still kicks out. MIYAWAKI and KUDO climb to the top ropes and hit Icarus and Akuma with missile dropkicks. That leaves Yago against Taylor, where he puts him away with a Crucifix Powerbomb. Team Kaentai Dojo are off to the finals and the Kings of Wrestling limp off backstage.
King of Trios Semifinals
Team Mucha Lucha (Lince Dorado, El Pantera and Sicodelico Jr.) vs. QuackenShaneSaw (Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw and Shane Storm)
Pantera starts things off by putting Jigsaw in a Pendulum Swing, a ridiculous stretch hold that allows Pantera to walk around the ring and swing Jigsaw’s head into the bottom turnbuckle for the sake of humiliation. Jigsaw tries to put him in the same hold, but it gets reversed into a submission where Pantera rides him like a surfboard. Storm and Sicodelico do a stand-off, shake hands and tag in Quack and Lince. Quack does all sorts of crazy holds on Lince, but the young cat-man is able to keep up, surprisingly enough. Lince and his partners triple-team Quack (albeit sloppily), ending with Pantera hitting him with a tope to the outside. Then they triple-team Storm and do a move where Lince and Sicodelico hold him down as Pantera does a 619 to the back of the head. Afterwards, Sicodelico hits a tornado plancha. That leaves Jigsaw, who is picked up by all three luchadores and gets flung across the ring, followed by Lince delivering an Asai Moonsault.
Quack puts an end to the teaming with a sudden headscissors takedown, sending Sicodelico out of the ring. Quack then aggressively takes it to Pantera until it becomes Lince vs. Jigsaw, going back and forth, interrupted when Lince nails a nice Tornado DDT. Quack’s team works on Sicodelico, culminating in Storm hitting That Japanese Move. The pin is broken by Sicodelico’s teammates and they take the lead again. Sicodelico and Pantera put Jigsaw and Storm in a Rowboat Stretch while Lince hurricanrana’s Quack into the center.
Quack’s team all go for hurricanrana’s, but all three are reversed into powerbombs. All three kick out in time. Lince and Sicodelico end up on the outside, setting themselves up when Jigsaw and Storm dive out onto them. That leaves Quack vs. Pantera and this part is awesome. Quack takes the brunt of the punishment, enduring some ridiculous holds until surprising Pantera with a pinning combination and squeaking by with a win. Great match followed by handshakes all around, all six guys raising their hands and a big, “PANTERA!” chant.
So with that out of the way, I can finally show the cover:
La Malcriada vs. Allison Danger
An interview with Danger has her talk about being back in a CHIKARA ring for the first time in forever, but doesn’t really have anything interesting to say. When she’s in the ring, some fan talks about her wearing camouflage. Danger turns around and tells him, “You can’t see me!” which gets a lot of boos. Whether it’s because she’s referencing Cena or because it’s a terrible joke, I’m not sure, but she laughs like she realizes she deserves it and the crowd returns to her side. Her opponent La Malcriada is a masked woman dressed as a cat, who dominates most of the match due to her inability to sell any of Danger’s offense. It’s kind of frustrating.
Malcriada shows her rudo colors by putting Danger in an armbar and biting her fingers. Then when she has Danger in the corner, she grabs the ref and throws her into Danger, runs for an Avalanche and misses both while the commentators wonder why she wasn’t disqualified on the spot. She continues to make short work of Danger by standing on her hands, beating her in a battle of strikes and hitting a really bad-looking Bronco Buster (not that any Bronco Buster is fun to watch). A second attempt at the move misses and Danger follows with a neckbreaker. Malcriada takes her down and climbs to the ropes, clapping as if she and the fans are forgetting that she’s supposed to be heel here. The splash hits, but Danger kicks out. Danger finally gets some moves in by doing a neckbreaker-type movement into a knee to the face, followed by a Glimmering Warlock (variation of the Shining Wizard). Malcriada kicks out, but falls victim to an STO and finally stays down.
Sal Thomaselli vs. Maxime Boyer (c)
Young Lions Cup Defense
Thomaselli has a pre-match interview where he makes fun of Boyer for his unoriginality, stating that while he hasn’t watched any of Boyer’s matches to prepare, he has seen matches of the guys Boyer stole his style from and that’s good enough. As Sal walks to the ring, Boyer runs out from behind and jumps him, solidifying Sal as a face in this situation. Boyer aggressively pounds on him in the corner and then proceeds to dominate the match and stretches him out a few times. Sal tries to fight back and is taken back down with a neckbreaker. He gets some reprieve when they clothesline each other and both go down. Sal gets his hands on Boyer and starts hitting a couple twisting slams that I can’t even identify.
The two counter each other a whole lot until Boyer powerbombs Sal and only gets a two-count. He argues that it was three an excessive amount, allowing Sal to get his bearings. They keep reversing German suplexes again and again and again until Boyer wins out. Still can’t get the pin. They starts hitting each other back and forth, Sal hits a variation of the Fisherman’s Buster and fails to put him down. He places Boyer in the corner, slaps him up a bit, misses a corner splash and then falls victim to the Lifestyle. Boyer makes the pin and retains the title.
Hallowicked vs. Matt Sydal
Hey, look! It’s Evan Bourne! At the time, Matt Sydal is one half of the Ring of Honor Tag Team Champions and the fans are absolutely confused at him showing up as he wasn’t even announced. Sydal at first appears to be playing it up as a face, but there’s a weird smiling heel edge to him and it takes a second for the fans to grasp it. At the very least, UltraMantis is rooting for him from the commentary booth. Sydal starts to show his true colors by escaping a submission hold via grabbing the stem on top of Hallowicked’s mask and twisting it… which apparently is very painful. They feel each other out for a few minutes with mat wrestling, but Sydal gains the advantage and keeps on Hallowicked. Eventually, Hallowicked surprises him with a hurricanrana, clobbers him with a running boot to the face and they both collapse. They get back up and have a series of near falls, Sydal gets fed up and kicks Hallowicked in the temple, runs across the ropes and gets caught in a Sky High Powerbomb. Hallowicked sets him up for what looks like a Fisherman’s Suplex, but Sydal sweeps the leg and delivers a standing moonsault for a two-count. He misses a flipping double stomp from the top rope and gets caught in a Graveyard Smash, which is like a Fisherman’s Suplex setup turned into a spinebuster. Hallowicked gets the win and the two shake hands and embrace. UltraMantis Black is clearly disgusted by this.
Tag Team Gauntlet
Hooo boy. When I rewatch these shows, I take notes for these write-ups. Night 2 filled up two pages in my notebook. This match right here? Just on its own, it filled up one page. No fooling. As explained by Bryce and UltraMantis on commentary, there were originally ten teams set to be in this match, but the rumors are that the number has ballooned to something much higher. They don’t even know who’s in it. All they know are the rules: two tag teams start out. Once one loses, they leave, the next team comes out and so on and so forth. Tag points are in play, meaning that only the team that wins in the end will have any points as everyone else will be dropped back to zero. It also means that anyone with an early draw is in for the impossible as they’d have to win 10+ matches in a row with no break.
Our first team is The New Jersey All-Stars (Lucky and JC Ryder), followed shortly by Babyface Fire (Shiima Xion and Jason Gory). Babyface Fire are attacked on the way to the ring and then dragged in. The faces and heels pair off and synchronize so that they’re hitting the same Irish whip counter spots at the same time. The New Jersey All-Stars clear the ring, Ryder hints at a suicide dive, runs across the ropes and then stops to walk out and attack Xion and Gory without fanfare. Despite the fake-out, Lucky then hops out with a twisting senton. Back in the ring, Gordy does a sick jumping Tombstone variation on Lucky, gets Ryder with an enziguri and Xion finishes him off with a tilt-a-whirl Go 2 Sleep-type of move. New Jersey All-Stars are eliminated.
The rock-loving Ring Crew Express (Sammy Dunn and Kirby Marcos) enter next. I haven’t seen them before, but the crowd seems to recognize them. They start off with one of my favorite types of wrestling spots: the double bulldog plus high five!
Never gets old. Gory gets both of them with a top-rope crossbody, Xion leaps out of the ring onto Dunn and Gory performs a Yoshi Tonic on Marcos. The RCE get their momentum back and do a spot where Dunn puts Marcos onto his shoulders and throws him down onto Marcos for the pin.
Team #4 is American Balloon and Danshoku Dino, who give the RCE a bit of a breather by dedicating a lot of time to Dino trying to kiss various dudes in the front row. The RCE jump American Balloon and then focus on Dino by putting him in a double armbar while playing his arms like electric guitars. Dino tries to counter this by kissing at them, but they hiptoss him down. Although Dino gets a couple inappropriate gropes in, the RCE continue to beat him down. As Dunn climbs the ropes, American Balloon comes in, rushes the ropes and knocks him silly with a flipping kick. Dunn misses a clothesline on Dino, eats a boot to the face and then falls prey to Dino’s liplock. Dino does the Dino Driver – which is a piledriver where he shoves the other guy’s head inside his tights – and Marcos saves his partner from the pin. American Balloon performs a twisting moonsault off the top onto Dunn and at the same time, Dino deals out a Dino Destroyer… which is just like a Canadian Destroyer only he puts Marcos’ head inside his tights. The Ring Crew Express boys are both pinned.
Next out are Mitch Ryder and Robbie Ellis. Mitch continues to play face, although UltraMantis Black suggests that his southernness and age would make him look down at what Dino represents. Huge, “ROBBIE!” chant. Balloon catches Mitch’s boot attempt with his chest cleavage and delivers a Dragon Screw. Dino faces Mitch and plays it up straight for a minute (pun not intended) until having Balloon hold back Mitch so that he can kiss him. Mitch moves out of the way and Dino accidentally makes out with his partner. They try it again with Dino holding Mitch, but Mitch moves out of the way and Balloon is horrified to find himself suffocating his partner with his gross man boobs. Balloon nails a backbreaker, goes up for a moonsault and misses his mark. Mitch makes the tag to Ellis, who finishes off Balloon with a Shiranui.
Prescription Thugs (Dr. Cheung and Darkness Crabtree) show up, walking out to John Cena’s theme song. You see, Crabtree is an octogenarian luchador and Cheung is his doctor who is also a gigantic Cena mark to the point that he copies all of his gestures which haven’t changed a bit since this match from five years ago. Cheung faces Mitch first and spikes him with a spinebuster. He tags in Crabtree, who gets a rousing, “WELCOME BACK!” chant. He takes his pills, which give him super-lucha abilities not unlike Popeye’s spinach or Roger Ramjet’s proton energy pill and starts to really get into it! But before anything can happen, Mitch rolls him up for a pin. That’s too bad. I wanted some old man battling between Ellis and Crabtree.
2.0 (Shane Matthews and Jagged) walk out and at the same time, UltraMantis leaves the commentary booth and tells Bryce to mind his own business as to why. Ellis faces Matthews first and hits his satellite headscissors. Years of watching Road Dogg in tag matches lets me know that when a wrestler with a limited move set hits all of his trademarks, his time is short. Ellis tags Mitch in and Mitch fights off both members of 2.0 until running right into a double STO. Yep. Mitch and Ellis are eliminated.
Our eighth team is Joey Ryan and Excalibur. Excalibur has gotten into the team mentality by wearing Ryan’s gear over his own. Ryan oils himself up in the ring and the crowd chants at Excalibur, “GET HIS BACK!” He’s reluctant to do it at first, but then is sort of into it. 2.0 ambush them and put Excalibur in peril. While beating him up, Jagged gives him a headbutt and hurts himself, letting his partner wonder loudly aloud, “Why do you keep doing that?!” Jagged’s attempt at a monkey flip is shoved off and Excalibur delivers a Falcon Arrow. Ryan is tagged in and tears it up with a kick-based offense until he begins to lose himself to an asthma attack. He stops to use his inhaler, allowing the angry 2.0 to get up. They give him a double STO, but he kicks out. Ryan delivers a pumphandle suplex on Jagged, then tags in Excalibur. Excalibur, having borrowed his partner’s gimmick, also needs to use the inhaler. Matthews gets a hold of it and sprays it into Excalibur’s eyes. Excalibur is rolled up and 2.0 survive a little bit longer.
Worker Ant and Soldier Ant rush the ring, but Worker Ant is immediately put down with a Lung-Blower. The ants are pinned and 2.0 celebrate having earned three points. As they do that, the Olsen Twins (Jimmy and Colin Olsen) run in unannounced and roll up Jagged while Matthews is too busy playing up his three wins. He turns around and is immediately bummed to see that he’s back to zero.
Next is “Sweet and Sour” Larry Sweeney and the Sharecropper, an old henchman of Sweeney’s who hasn’t been seen in CHIKARA for years. “WELCOME BACK!” chant, natch. The Olsens throw them out of the ring and then get chased around the outside of the ring. The Olsens duck down and allow Sweeney and Sharecropper to collide. After a bit of a brawl between teams, the Olsen Twins dominate Sweeney until he’s able to hold his own and tag in Sharecropper. He picks up Colin like a wheelbarrow and slams him onto Jimmy. Sweeney climbs to the top, hits an elbow drop and pins Jimmy.
Player Uno and Create-a-Wrestler band together due to their video game alignment and rush the ring. They are immediately stomped down on. Create-a-Wrestler tries for this crazy dropkick spot, but… well… it doesn’t work out so well for him.
Ow. Uno hops off the top and hits Sharecropper with the Goomba Stomp. He kicks at Sweeney, Sweeney catches the leg and accidentally hits the pause button on Uno’s tights. Both are paused completely still until the ref presses the start button again and things resume. Sweeney and Sharecropper keep Uno down with a double powerbomb and send him off, defeated.
We’re on thirteen by this point and our new challengers are Arrogance (Chris Bosh and Scott Lost). It’s a quick battle, as they catch Sweeney and Sharecropper with small packages and pin them simultaneously. Fire Ant and Equinox enter next. Fire Ant vs. Lost leads to a Fireman’s Carry off the top rope from Fire Ant, followed by Equinox dishing out one of his sloppy running Shooting Star Presses that never hits correctly. Bosh saves his partner and they give Fire Ant a Northern Lights Suplex onto Bosh’s knee. That’s good enough to keep Fire Ant down for three.
The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple walk out from the back and make their way to the ring quite slowly with everybody confused. All three members are out there, but who is going to compete? At first it looks like it’s going to be UltraMantis Black and Hydra, but as Arrogance wait for them, Crossbones clotheslines them both from behind. Turns out it’s Hydra and Crossbones. They take apart Lost and Hydra actually succeeds in hitting a Vader Bomb in the corner. Bosh comes in and bodyslams Crossbones, giving Lost the chance to nail him with a top-rope elbow drop. Hydra makes his best attempt to bodyslam Bosh, but it’s reversed into a Screwdriver. The Order is sent packing.
Up in Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) are the next team. Things definitely pick up here, as Arrogance hold an early advantage and give Cloudy a cross between the Hart Attack and a backbreaker. Lost follows with a Texas Cloverleaf until Cheech kicks him off. He’s set up on the ropes for Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Cheech, but Bosh trips Cheech and Lost catches Cloudy. Cheech is able to armdrag both Bosh and Lost at the same time, sending them tumbling out of the ring. When they get up, Cheech and Cloudy dive out onto them. Cheech sets Lost up in the corner and dives at him like a torpedo, but only gets a foot in his face. Cloudy delivers a spiking hurricanrana and tries for the pin, only for Bosh to make the save. Cheech gets planted HARD with a tornado DDT onto the apron by Bosh. Good God, man. Bosh targets Cloudy for a suplex, it’s reversed and Cloudy rolls him up for a pin. Like 2.0 before them, Arrogance gain three points only to lose it all.
The final, SEVENTEENTH team in this massive gauntlet is Brandon and Vito Thomaselli. They come on in and team up on Cloudy. Vito nails him with a Death Valley Driver and chooses not to pin him just yet. They keep hitting double team moves as a weak Cheech struggles to get into the ring. He saves his partner and they succeed in landing Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Cheech onto Vito. Brandon makes the save to prevent the pin. Brandon gives Cheech a Fisherman’s Buster, which is sure to finish him off… but it doesn’t! Cheech kicks out. Brandon picks him back up for a powerbomb, gets it reversed and Cheech knocks Brandon out with the Go 2 Cheech. Up in Smoke earn two points to go with their one from Night 1 and they’ve succeeded in earning a future title shot.
Also, this single, nearly hour-long match has given me carpal tunnel. And we still have four more matches!
Special Attraction Match
Mokujin Ken vs. Mecha Mummy
When the ring announcer calls this a special attraction and claims it’s, “Not for the faint of heart,” what he really means to say is that we’re about to get a terrible match that’s so absurd in its stupidity that we’re going to love it. Out first is Mokujin Ken. Ever seen Mokujin from the Tekken games? He’s a lot like that, only without all the mobility. Just a guy in a big box-like outfit with tiny forest creatures glued to him. He has an entourage of CHIKARA students, including Tim Donst, who are there to follow him and make sure he doesn’t fall over on his way to the ring. Mecha Mummy, a big comedy act from Japan, at least is able to walk around like a normal human being, albeit while carrying a giant drill and fist.
Due to Mokujin Ken’s inability to enter the ring, the match is declared a Street Fight. The two hammily (pretend that’s a word) trade punches to the head back and forth. Mecha Mummy tears a bird off Mokujin Ken’s shoulder and stuffs it into his own chest compartment as an insult. The battle goes into the stands, Mecha Mummy gets some distance and then fires his giant fist into Mokujin Ken, stunning him for a second. A chant of, “THIS IS AWESOME!” breaks out. Mecha Mummy runs off and reappears on top of the balcony, where he fires his fist out again and this time hits Mokujin Ken right in the head.
“HE’S HARDCORE! HE’S HARDCORE!”
Mecha Mummy picks up his drill, runs it into Mokujin Ken’s midsection and then spins it deeper into his gut as Bryce unsuccessfully tries to light the wound on fire for the sake of drama. Mecha Mummy is declared the winner and the crowd is split on whether to boo or cheer.
Daizee Haze vs. Sara Del Rey
Del Rey challenges Haze to a Test of Strength and Haze stomps down on her foot instead. As they get into it, Del Rey begins to toss Haze around like a ragdoll and gives her plenty of backbreaker moves. After fighting her way out of a Haze straightjacket hold by forcing her into the corner, Del Rey puts her in this sick stretch hold that breaks her in half.
OW! In a really cool piece of timing, Del Rey rushes the corner and Haze pokes her in the eye on her way over. Then Haze exits the ring and circles around so that Del Rey can’t get her hands on her, then grabs her by the leg, trips her and slams the leg into the apron. She gets back in and starts walking and jumping all over Del Rey’s back. After enduring a heart punch, a pissed Del Rey backs up and starts letting loose with an onslaught of running boots to the chest. Haze tries to save herself from a powerbomb, but eats it anyway, though succeeding in kicking out of the pin. Del Rey sets up for a submission, Haze fights her way out, goes over her with a Sunset Flip and gets the pin. They work extremely well – what with the two of them having wrestled each other a million times over in the indies – but I don’t think Haze did a good enough job portraying herself as a rudo.
Nobutaka Moribe vs. MASAMUNE
Ah, interesting match here, as MASAMUNE was Moribe’s replacement on Night 1. They open with some lucha exchanges until MASAMUNE sends Moribe out of the ring with a top-rope armdrag, gets ready for a diving follow-up, but turns it into a fakeout taunt. He does that thing where he sets up Shattered Dreams, only to slap him across the face and considering we’ve seen this spot three times over three consecutive days, it’s gotten really old by this point. Moribe puts an end to his disadvantage by surprising MASAMUNE with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. MASAMUNE goes for a desperate hurricanrana, gets caught and Moribe turns it into a Boston Crab of sorts. MASAMUNE takes the brunt of offense for the next few minutes, being shut down whenever he tries to fight back. He eventually gets Moribe with a Flatliner and both take a moment to get back to their feet. They trade slaps back and forth, MASAMUNE hits an enziguri, followed by a Sidewalk Slam and then bounces off the ropes and gets picked up into a German suplex. It continues to go back and forth including MASAMUNE doing the 619 and Moribe responding with the Three Amigos suplexes.
As the two reverse a German suplex attempt again and again, MASAMUNE grabs hold of the ref and mule kicks Moribe in the junk. Then he slams him down with some crazy flipping attack and pins him. I love this ending because it’s almost exactly how Gran Akuma beat him the night before. So either they really were counterparts, or MASAMUNE picked up on that spot and stole it to further his career. Either way, it was the best match that either guy had the whole weekend.
Ricochet vs. Claudio Castagnoli
This one’s great. Despite coming back against the Kings of Wrestling, Claudio remains a rudo and proves this point by getting angry at the fans yelling, “HEYYYYY!” at him non-stop. The ring announcer lets everybody know that according to Claudio, if they don’t stop, he’s going to leave. Despite being annoyed at their insistence, he goes against his word and goes in to toy around with Ricochet by placing him on the second rope and shoving him. Ricochet gets him back by jumping off and delivering a hurricanrana. He starts doing some elaborate armdrag counters until running right into Claudio’s elbow. That’s the basic story of the match. Claudio is absolutely dominant, but Ricochet’s flippy style is so crisp and smart that he just may have a chance. Claudio removes his shirt to strangle Ricochet with and then does a nasty combo where he knees him up into the air and then elbows him back down.
To remind everyone that he’s the bad guy, Claudio would bounce off the ropes and then simply do a chinlock. He easily disposes of Ricochet again and again while insulting the fans. Ricochet starts hitting crazy moves out of nowhere, sends Claudio out of the ring, climbs to the top rope and flips down onto him. Once back in the ring, Claudio gets his bearings and proceeds to propel him across the ring with a European uppercut. In one of the cooler spots of the match, Ricochet does a flipping plancha into the ring into a Dragon Hurricanrana and hooks Claudio’s legs in a pin that ALMOST gets him and makes it look like he’d have done it had he gotten a better hold of the legs. He keeps on Claudio with a tornado DDT and a Phoenix Splash, but Claudio keeps kicking out. Ricochet runs across the ropes, Claudio gets his hands on him and puts him away with one hell of a Swiss Death.
It’s like watching somebody play Smash Brothers. Yeah, that’s all it takes for Claudio to get the win.
King of Trios Finals
Team Kaientai Dojo (KUDO, MIYAWAKI and Yoshiaki Yago) vs. QuackenShaneSaw (Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw and Shane Storm)
Here we go. The finals. Storm and KUDO begin with amateur wrestling. KUDO pushes them into his team’s corner, allowing Yago to tag in and punch on Storm. MIYAWAKI works him over for a sec until Storm roll over and tags in Quackenbush. Quack and MIYAWAKI slowly exchange submissions until Quack begins to speed up the process before tagging in Jigsaw. The CHIKARA team each get their shots in twice over until MIYAWAKI gets the best of Storm and tags in KUDO. KUDO and Yago each work on Storm and things finally begin to pick up when Yago holds him in an abdominal stretch while KUDO and MIYAWAKI run across the ropes and dropkick Storm. Quack and Jigsaw come in and get overpowered, leading to a spot where all three Kaientai Dojo guys hold an opponent in a corner and deliver a devastating heart punch. The fight spills to the outside and brawling ensues as Yago puts Quack into sitting position on a chair and gives him a Yakuza Kick to the skull.
KUDO stretches out Jigsaw and starts making frequent tags. While Quack’s team worked more on submission holds when they had the advantage, the Japanese team goes with more impactful moves like slams and strikes. MIYAWAKI misses a clothesline on Jigsaw and Jigsaw takes advantage by superkicking him in return. Quack comes in, blocks KUDO’s kicks, slams him around and prepares a palm strike, only to eat a roundhouse kick. KUDO climbs the ropes and hits a standing Quack in the back of the head with both knees. He kicks Quack out of the ring, meaning that Storm is allowed in. He falls prey to another kick flurry and ends up in peril. A brief spurt against Yago only leads to running into position for one of Yago’s Rock Bottoms. Even though Storm is able to backdrop MIYAWAKI and tag out, he and his friends soon find themselves all in submissions simultaneously. Each victim reaches the ropes to save themselves.
MIYAWAKI attacks Jigsaw, Jigsaw ducks and then dives over the ropes and onto Yago on the outside. Everyone ends up in the same spot over the following moments, putting them in position for Quack doing a corkscrew dive off the top rope. Then we get my favorite part of the match: Quack vs. Yago strike war. The two start blocking each other’s hits until Yago pounds on Quack with a series of heart punches. Quack powers through it and screams while pounding his fists into Yago’s chest. Yago seems unfazed by it all, sticks his tongue out, misses a swing and gets sent away with a running boot. So awesome.
Quack hits a reverse hurricanrana on KUDO, but shortly after, KUDO puts Quack in a Tree of Woe and jumps down on him knees-first. The Japanese team tears into Quack and hold him down while KUDO jumps off the top and once again drills his knees into Quack’s body. Storm and Jigsaw break the pin. Quack’s team all get a shot in on KUDO: Quack sets him up on the top rope and stuns him with a palm strike, Jigsaw runs up and gives him a top-rope hurricanrana and then Storm finishes the combo with That Japanese Move. Yago and MIYAWAKI break the pin. Quack picks up KUDO and kills him with the Quackendriver III, Jigsaw follows with a top-rope legdrop and Storm holds back Yago and MIYAWAKI while Quack and Jigsaw pin down KUDO at the same time. We have our first ever King of Trios winners and there’s a huge smile on Quack’s face, probably due to how successful this weekend’s been.
And I guess he’s crying too.
Director of Fun Leonard F. Chikarason walks in to put some championship medals on Quack, Storm and Jigsaw and leaves. The winners shake hands with the losers, embrace them and then hand over the medals. It’s a great moment, contrasted by Larry Sweeney on commentary stating, “I’m gonna be sick.” Quack’s team walks off to the back and the last thing we see is the runners up bowing to the crowd from the middle of the ring.
As predictable as it might be, plus the negativity that comes with Quack being the winner of his own tournament, I think they booked this perfectly. If this is supposed to be a big deal of a tournament, then there needs to be precedent. Quack and his two main students are THE CHIKARA team and the company is made to look good by coming out on top. Especially because they’re the ones who win over Team TNA and Team Kaientai Dojo. The former gets by on name recognition from the get-go, but the Japanese team gets reputation from the tournament itself. Those three really come off as unbeatable monster warriors, especially Yago. Besides, it looks like the TNA dudes were only available for one night anyway, so they got the best out of that deal.
Tomorrow is the introduction to the 2008 year, the biggest wrestling tournament of all time.