And Now… Dancing Baby T-Shirts

May 24th, 2011 by |

My attempt to do a post a day for this week didn’t work out so well for today. Last night I closed at work, today I opened, then once my shift was over I immediately put on a suit for a retirement dinner. That doesn’t give me much in terms of time and energy to get any decent writing done. Not only that, but it’s been brought to my attention that my article concept of “comic book writers as professional wrestling bookers” is actually a terrible idea.

Like Garth Ennis’ WWE where he brings back grizzled, Irish badass Finlay and pushes him through the roof. Throughout his rise to the top, Finlay makes John Cena, Randy Orton and Undertaker look like complete jokes while revealing that they’re all sexual deviants with bizarre fetishes. Coincidentally, Katie Vick is brought back into continuity. Oh, and Hornswoggle starts urinating on people all the time.

Okay, fine, I’ll stop. Instead, here’s a crazy commercial that my brother Geremy directed for Evian.

I’ve seen the behind-the-scenes photos of how they got those baby poses to work. It was… It was something, all right.

All right, so James Robinson’s WWE would have Drew McIntyre show how much of a threat he is by taking out a bunch of named jobbers and putting them on the shelf right as they’re released from the company. After getting the credit for taking out so many lower-carders, his supposed monster push is screeched to a halt as he ends up losing to Evan Bourne and is never heard from again.

…Yeah, now I’m done.

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3 comments to “And Now… Dancing Baby T-Shirts”

  1. Sir, you are incorrect! This is a brilliant idea for a post!

    Ooh, ooh, do Grant Morrison!!

  2. :damn:


    I’m gonna have to second that request for an actual post about that. Reminds of how Maffew keeps swearing that TNA is being booked by Mark Millar.

  3. I imagine Grant Morrison would be one part Mike Quackenbush of Chikara (inventive stories that work and show off how fun wrestling should be) and one part what Vince Russo WISHES he could be. The unorthodox storytelling that messes with the viewer’s head… only actually good.

    Bendis’ wrestling fed would have lots and lots and lots of promos. Also, he’d bring back wrestlers from the 80’s and early 90’s and repackage them in gimmicks that don’t resemble their older selves at all.