The Sensational Character Find of 2010

May 14th, 2010 by | Tags:

Cinder! No, not this Cinder, I mean the one created (I assume) by Eric Wallace and Fabrizio Fiorentino for their upcoming run on Titans. This excerpt is from Titans: Villains for Hire Special, which introduces the team to the DC Universe and readers by interspersing their motivation stories with shots of Ryan “The Atom” Choi getting murked. Here’s Cinder’s origin, featuring art by Sergio Ariño (I think–the title card is unclear on who did what, but it definitely isn’t Mike Mayhew or Fiorentino). She has the power to… well, if you’ve ever played Killer Instinct, she’s basically Cinder from that, but with boobs and a mad-on for child molesters. Read on:

Possible punchlines:
-Never trust a big butt and a smile.
-If you think she’s bad, her sister Glacius is ten times worse!
-Doctor, I’ve got this burning sensation…
-She’s cute, but I heard she burns through her boyfriends like nobody’s business.

I liked Wallace and Fiorentino’s Ink. Thought it was pretty clever, and a good read overall. But Titans… might have to give that one a miss.

I pretty much had the same reaction as Deathstroke to this scene, too. “…huh.” Volcano Vagina, man. What’re you gonna do?

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26 comments to “The Sensational Character Find of 2010”

  1. Wow. That’s just awful. I’m glad that I stopped reading anything Titans related back in the ’90’s (during the interminable Titans Hunt).

    Thanks to your first punchline, this is stuck in my head. Thanks, Dave!

  2. haha, “might have to give that one a miss”, as if this issue wasn’t a clear indication of where that series is going.

  3. Yeah that kinda gave me pause as well, but I’m mainly reading this for Deathstoke, Tattoed Man and Osiris. I’m just hoping she doesn’t end up being a MAJOR character.

  4. Holy shit.

    Was the name “Hot Carla” considered too on-the-nose?

    (“Hot Carl,” of course, being a euphemism for something obscene that you should under no circumstances Google – seriously)


  5. Now, if we are to assume this girl likes killing pedophiles with her VV, why is Deathstroke of all people helping her?

  6. Looks like that Italian sausage…


    …just got turned into a hot dog.


  7. Volcana.

  8. I knew a girl with the same super power. I think they have a cream for that, though.

  9. Remember the days when Z-list supervillains would be offed by the New Hotness, instead of intriguing legacy-hero underdogs conceived by Morrison and raised by Simone?

    Seriously, I would buy ten copies of a Morrison-penned Flamingo mini where all he does is murder one-shot “edgy” bad guys in a hot pink matador outfit and perma-rapeface.

  10. I know it’s cliched at this point, but…

    Look kids! Comics!!

    “Daddy, why is she sitting on top of him in a bathing suit? Where’s that smoke coming from?”

  11. As a fighting game fan, I should be reading this comic. You have a character named Cinder, a guy who was in a Mortal Kombat game and a Tattooed Assassin.

  12. So does what they did to Ryan count as an Ultra or an Ultimate Combo?

  13. shes smmmoookiiin
    or thats just my junk

  14. I’m 12 years old and what is this?

  15. This is sure to make Titans a… hot pick!

    Seriously, what’s going on with the Titans book? The first arc with Trigon sucked and I haven’t really kept track of it since. There was the Deathtrap crossover, I guess… and… Arsenal shows up sans an arm…?

    Has anything happened in Titans? Does anyone even read it?

  16. […] about little people.  And then, if that wasn’t enough, in the same comic they even have Vagina Volcano, which I personally hold Dan Didio and Julius Schwartz responsible for.  Back in the day, Julie […]

  17. @Illvillainy: She can completely “flame on” like Johnny, so I guess he feels he can make use of that

    @LaterComments: After Trigon stuff they did a bullcrap Jericho story, then we had a string of character spotlights.

    Now we get a big creative shift. Titans focuses now on Deathstroke his motley crew of killer.

  18. @Nathan: Dammit man, the ONE FRIGGIN’ GUY in the Fantastic Four no one had ever imagined the junk of, and you ruined it! Now I feel all gross and Kevin Smith-y.

  19. Wait wait wait. On fire, fucks people to death…

    Did DC just introduce a gender-swapped Willy Pete?

  20. Wait, if they keep the focus on this group of Evil Titans long enough; the inevitable future-reverse-traitor-Titans will be GOOD, and since the headlining Titans can never be allowed to triumph, this can only be a sinister plot to actually put happy endings in a Titans book. Seriously, it all makes sense now!

    “Man, Slade, those other Titans sure kicked our ass!”
    “Shut up. I’m brooding and snappy.”

    It won’t be fun to read, but at least they’ll be bad guys failing at everything they do… Diversity?

  21. Too bad, its a visually very interesting character (even if it is just a red version of Fire).

    I guess something had to fill the void Cry for Justice left. I’m glad I’m not reading this junk.

  22. Y’know, maybe she’s able to burn him because he has fear… but that would mean that her nuni’s got the powers of a Man-Thing!

  23. I wanted to make a “Do you smoke after sex?” joke, but … god, that’s a really, really bad comic.

  24. So her backstory is she has a psychotic hatred of pedophiles…

    And she’s on Deathstroke’s team?

    Did no one think this the whole way through?

  25. Has anyone seen Magma (Marvel) recently? I mean, come on: speaks Italian (Latin, but let’s not be picky), hates men who molest young girls (remember her “thing” for Hercules?), has no will of her own, has a gimmicky “look” that fails to impress before the issue even ends, puts all of her faith in amoral pseudo-villains/heroes (Magneto, then Empath, then Magneto *again*!)… :raise:

  26. They call me Heatmistress
    Whatever I touch
    Starts to melt in my crotch
    I’m too much!

    (ba-dump-bump-bump, TOO MUCH!)