Batman RIP: Whodunnit?

October 22nd, 2008 by | Tags: , , ,

So far in Batman RIP: Everyone is evil. Unless they’re dead. Unless they were already dead, in which case they’re probably alive again. And evil.

Provided, of course, that all of this isn’t going on inside of Bruce Wayne’s newly re-crazied head.

Although I enjoy Grant Morrison’s mind leaving orbit and cruising the galaxy as much as the next person, with one issue to go it’s beginning to look like a center-cannot-hold type situation. For a long time, I couldn’t think of any ending that would satisfy me. Yesterday, however, I remembered a scene way back in Batman #656.

Aunt . . . Agatha?

Aunt . . . Agatha?

Batman is fighting ninja man-bats in a pop art museum in London, and suddenly we’re at a long-lost relative’s Thanksgiving dinner. And here’s the kicker: This is never referred to again. Batman doesn’t use his aunt’s turkey-pwning skills to cook himsel up a heaping helping of man-bat. He doesn’t visit her. He doesn’t mention her. He never even thinks about her again. I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Wha?”

Now a shadowy villain has emerged as a leader of a vast criminal conspiracy, and any comic-book enthusiast will tell you that if you introduce a seemingly innocent person from the hero’s past in the first act, they had better turn evil in the third.

Evil Agatha, Leader of The Black Glove is the only way to end this story. Nothing else can explain why:

1. That scene was in the issue.

2. Black Glove knows so much about Batman and Bruce Wayne.

3. Little Orphan Brucie was placed with a butler rather than a blood relative.

If Agatha is The Black Glove, then truly, Mister Morrison, my hat is off to you. If she isn’t, my hat is still off, but that’s primarily because I’m scratching my head.

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4 comments to “Batman RIP: Whodunnit?”

  1. Cool beans! Is this the same Aunt Agatha that was created to stop any of the heyo?

  2. @Adam: I thought Kathy Kane and Betty Kane were created to stop any of the heyo.

  3. And yet the New Earth Kathy Kane is a lesbian. how’s that for ironic?

  4. […] And you should have followed my advice and made The Black Glove be Aunt Agatha. […]