Curse of the Bride of the Ghost of the Revenge of the Son of the Return of the Wrath of Comic Con

October 22nd, 2013 by | Tags: , , , ,

And another New York Comic Con is in the can. Once again, I went all four days. The problem was, I had no real direction for this run. There was nothing I was especially looking forward to and a lot of stuff I used to be excited about have lost their luster. Panels went from something I’d schedule for to something I can take or leave. Hitting Artist Alley is always cool, but I’m doing the same thing with it I’ve always done. Plus I’m trying to spend less than previous years.

As someone who’s never exhibited or been part of a panel, I’ve run out of stuff to experience at NYCC. I mean, there’s that speed dating thing, but I keep forgetting to sign up for that and part of me is thankful for it. Maybe next year. This time I wanted to try something I’ve never done before on a day that wasn’t October 31st. I was going to try cosplay. Each day a different costume.

Well, not every day. About a week before the show, I was talking to Internet Superstar Chris Sims and I joked about getting a couple t-shirts made saying “I’M A DAVID BROTHERS GUY.” Chris said that I shouldn’t be joking. I should be doing. And so, I had them made just in time for the show.

Some context for the uninitiated: Paul Heyman is a staple in professional wrestling who used to run his own promotion Extreme Championship Wrestling before that went under and he became part of the WWE. He’s recognized by many as one of the top minds in the wrestling world, unless you bring finances into it. He understands talent and has a knack for good writing that shows off the strengths of performers while hiding their weaknesses. For a while, he existed on WWE TV as a manager and mouthpiece for various top-ranking bad guys (most notable being Brock Lesnar, who went on to have a successful UFC career after the fact) while behind the scenes, he was one of the head writers. He ended up being let go because he wasn’t the most agreeable with upper management.

Years later, on an episode of Raw, CM Punk was doing a storyline where he was preparing to win the WWE Championship on the same night his contract was ending with threats that he’d leave the company with the belt. During a scripted speech with ties into real life, he said, “I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.”

About a year later, Brock Lesnar came back. Soon Heyman followed. Then they had Heyman become Punk’s manager. Anyone Heyman represented was referred to as, “a Paul Heyman guy.” Soon guys like Curtis Axel and Ryback joined the Paul Heyman Guy umbrella. T-shirts were made and while he’s a bad guy on TV, many wrestling fans wear them out of support for the man they consider to be a genius of the genre.

And that’s why Chris and I had to wear those shirts and mess with David’s head. Let me tell you, the reaction was completely and utterly worth it. The perfect mix of, “Fuck my life…” and, “Oh, you guys.”

Real talk, though. It was really great getting to see David and Chris. It’s been years since I’ve seen David in person and he’s seriously the coolest, chilliest, nicest guy. Chris is also an upstanding gentleman and was really cool by introducing me to various people, including Kieron Gillen.
Also on Thursday, I came across a vendor booth at the far end of the showroom floor. They had a bunch of stuff on sale, including the X-Statix Omnibus. That series is already something I’ve been meaning to read, but the deal made it a must-have. Normally priced at $150, they sold it for only $39. I had to lug it around with me all day because I wasn’t going to let them sell out of it without me.

On Friday, it was time for costume #1: Fred Flintstone.

Here’s me with DW Cycloptopus from Kaiju Big Battel. He’s a lot bigger on TV.

I’ve been told over the years – rather insultingly at times – that I resemble Fred Flintstone. I figured what the hell and picked up a Fred costume for this year’s Halloween. Since I had that, might as well wear it to NYCC. I had to make some alterations, though. For some reason, the store-bought costume is more of a jacket than a tunic, plus it comes with an unnecessary wig and cuffs. I don’t remember Fred ever wearing cuffs, but okay. I got rid of those and used safety pins to hold the costume together instead of letting it split on the top and bottom. Looked way better, I thought.

Since I didn’t feel like carrying the costume with me, I actually hit the bus wearing that outfit because what the hell. When I got to Port Authority, one stranger was happy to see me because she had no idea how to get to the Javits Center, but knew I was on my way there.

What I didn’t expect was that people LOVED the Fred costume. I guess because it looked good and I looked the part while it was something unique and recognizable. I got a lot of people asking to take a picture of me, which I tended to respond with, “Of course. Just don’t touch my cereal or I swear to God I’ll cut you.”

Speaking of cereal, I got in a heated argument over Fruity Pebbles vs. Cap N Crunch with this guy.

Friday brought me to my only panel of the week. I met with my friends Marc Buxton (fellow Den of Geek US contributor) and Dan Lennane as we checked out the Marvel Avengers panel. It was pretty uneventful, but it was a reason to not be walking. It was about ten minutes of announcements followed by a lengthy Q&A session. The three of us entertained ourselves by rating each question from one to five.

“I was wondering if the Hood is going to show up in Avengers or any other Avengers comic?”

“Hm. I’ll give that a 3.”

“Also, I have a second question.”

“And minus two points.”

I was going to check out the Cyanide and Happiness panel, but that was later in the day and I was getting tired.

For Saturday, we got costume #2: Bizarro Clark Kent.

This is an old Halloween costume that I kept around because I am a hoarder. This one I only half-wore on the ride to the city, choosing to apply the makeup when I got there. Which reminds me, if you ever need to use a bathroom at NYCC and want it to be less gross than usual? Go to Artist Alley. There are like a dozen bathrooms hidden to the side that nobody goes to.

Not nearly as popular as Fred, though part of that probably comes from there being a million cosplayers walking around that day and 99% of them were head and shoulders above my Styrofoam necklace slab.

I admit that Saturday was far from eventful. The floor was too clogged with people and there were no panels that I was even vaguely interested in. I hung out with my Den of Geek editor Mike Cecchini, who also had little else to do. At the very least, he set it up that on Sunday, I would be paired up with comedian and fellow Den of Geek guy Harmon Leon. Anyway, I figured I might as well call it in early so I could get some semblance of a good night’s sleep.

Made sure to wash my face first.

Then came Sunday and with it, costume #3: Wreck-It Ralph.

Ralph is what I was going to be for Halloween last year. I got the pieces together, but then Hurricane Sandy happened and that was that. I reused the bare feet from the Fred Flintstone costume, which broke on my way to the show and were barely holding on throughout the day. I’m not used to putting product in my hair, so that didn’t come out the best.

Some people seemed to like it, at least. Lot of parents had me pose with their kids and that was really fun. I did see a few other Wreck-It Ralphs on the floor, including one guy who put me to shame by a mile. For one, he had sideburns!

I hung out with Harmon, who had been spending the weekend getting pictures of various cosplayers for the site. A couple photo essay ideas included superheroes doing mundane stuff (which includes a really unfortunate picture of yours truly), Wreck-It Ralph photobombing people and Wreck-It Ralph just hanging out with other video game characters. I also got my final Mike Haggar sketch from Julian Lytle, where Harmon filmed the entire process for an upcoming YouTube video. That was pretty rad.

I loitered for a bit, but decided that it was time to hang it up. I threw away my fake feet and went on my tenth hour-long bus ride in five days. Yeah, I’m going to need to spring for a hotel room next time.

In the end, I had a good time and it was great seeing the people I saw, but the con itself was lacking identity. Part of it felt from the lack of interesting comic announcements. The biggest news we got was the reprinting/ending of Miracleman but most of the comic news was stuff like, “Captain America’s going to fight a dude who shoots bubbles out of his forehead.” Ah well. Still had some laughs and I’ll be there again next year.

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2 comments to “Curse of the Bride of the Ghost of the Revenge of the Son of the Return of the Wrath of Comic Con”

  1. Why the fuck are you not selling those t-shirts, why do you hate money

  2. I might’ve seen you as Ralph. They might’ve been more than one, though. My four days were a bit of a blur for me as well. Did you run into any Vanillopes? I saw at least one.