As we last left our unfortunate heroes, Nick Fury is visited by Mr. Fantastic, Dr. Doom and Zarda. He doesn’t seem at all surprised to find out that the world is being torn apart in his absence, as he apparently warned Doom about it back in the day.

Hey, ever notice that the current Squadron Supreme series takes place five years after Ultimate Power, but only months have passed in the Ultimate Universe? What the hell is up with that?

ManiacClown and I will be back tomorrow to finish off the Kitty Pryde scene and finally get to some actual Magneto action. It’s about time.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

Last time, we saw Dr. Strange try his chances with the Great Pumpkin Dormammu. Unfortunately, Dr. Strange only got a rock. And by “a rock”, I mean “his head exploded”. Then Hulk jumped around and met up with the X-Men. We’ll continue with that, then move on to the Search for Nick Fury subplot.

Just so you know, the end of that Hulk sequence in the original Loeb version was really a joke about the Hulk having a raging boner. Christ…

Tomorrow, we’ll continue with the Nick Fury stuff, then see what Kitty Pryde is up to.

Thanks again to ManiacClown, who believes that Zarda really just hates the stick shift and doesn’t know how else to express her feelings. Maybe she should have written a catchy song about it, like Cake.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

The other day, Thomas Wilde — former writer on this site and all around good guy — emailed me with a couple pages from last week’s Amazing Spider-Man. Notably, the part with the Spider-Man/Wolverine fist-bump. He wanted me to do something with it in terms of a battle rap.

This is what became of the challenge.

With apologies to hermanos. I promise no battle raps in the next Ultimatum Edit.

You ever heard of that Mugen thing? It’s a program to make your own fighting game characters. While some people will just use it to make the usual Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat type of stuff using graphics and sprites that already exist, there are some people out there who go the extra mile and make an entire character from scratch. One such character is Deadpool, made to fit into the Marvel vs. Capcom style. Check out this video of him in use. Also, he has plenty of special intro animations.

The Bob/ninjas special move is inspired.

20) Telling off T-Ray
Deadpool #33 (1999)
Writer: Joe Kelly

With Joe Kelly’s run reaching the end, we’re given the big showdown between Deadpool and T-Ray. Using some magic mumbo jumbo, T-Ray is able to show his true past to Deadpool and Mercedes Wilson. T-Ray is the real Wade Wilson and made the mistake of saving the life of a no-good mercenary named Jack. Jack killed Wade in an attempt to take his identity and accidentally got Mercedes killed in the process. He went crazy and believed himself to be Wade Wilson.

T-Ray uses this revelation to show Deadpool how evil he truly is. He resurrected his wife as part of his plan to tear at Deadpool’s soul and make him suffer with guilt. Then he shows Deadpool all the people he’s ever killed. In one nice spread, we see a crowd of thousands, with many easy to recognize if you’ve been paying attention to his comic appearances. The absolute scale of what he’s done cripples Deadpool and causes him to question his own actions. T-Ray taunts Deadpool, asking him how it feels to see his whole attempt to redeem himself shattered by the knowledge that he never had any redeeming qualities in his past to begin with.

Deadpool then… starts laughing. He laughs hard. T-Ray is beside himself. How could he possibly react to his masterstroke with laughter? Wiping the tears from his eyes, Deadpool explains himself. Sure, T-Ray came close to breaking him, but then he had a moment of clarity about squirrels and coconuts.

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Eh. I couldn’t resist.

40) Siryn Stays
Deadpool #5 (1997)
Writer: Joe Kelly

Deadpool’s healing factor has been on the fritz, and he’s offered help from a strange source in Dr. Killbrew. Killbrew is the sadistic scientist who tortured Wade and gave him his powers in the first place, but now he’s a guilt-ridden old man who wants to make things right. Deadpool really wants to tear him apart, but two things are stopping him. One, the cure for his ailing healing factor and two, Siryn is in his company for the adventure.

After a run-in with the Hulk, Deadpool has a blood sample that’s able to pump him back up to working condition. Behind Siryn’s back, he tries to murder Killbrew. Killbrew is only slightly reluctant, but accepts that he deserves this. Before Deadpool can end it for him, Siryn breaks the door down with her voice. She’s furious at Deadpool and stands in front of Killbrew to protect him.

The two argue back and forth, with Deadpool continuingly demanding Siryn leaves the room so he can do this. She flat out refuses, making him freak out. He doesn’t want to show this part of himself in front of her, but he’s being given no choice. Siryn demands to see proof that Deadpool’s inner animal wins out over the good man she knows he can be and lets it slip that she’s known for a while that Deadpool’s been creepily watching over her when she sleeps and feels safe because of it. She promises she’ll be there for him, allowing Deadpool to feel mercy for once in his life. He tells Killbrew to get the hell out of there ASAP and to thank Siryn for being able to keep his pulse.

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Based on one of the comments in an earlier article, I should probably mention that despite Deadpool being awesome in other forms of media (some of them, at least), I’m only counting comic book stuff for this countdown.

Sorry, no inclusions of the time in Ultimate Alliance where he talks to Weasel about the time he stabbed him in the leg for taking the last cheese puff. Or the conversation where he tries to convince Black Bolt to say “spatula”.

This also means no inclusions of animated Deadpool shooting Hulk and Wolverine with a crapload of tranquilizer darts before saying, “Hey, Logan! It’s me, Deadpool! I shot youuuuu!” Which is a shame in of itself because Hulk vs. Wolverine is such a brilliant depiction of the mouthed merc.

50) Rock ‘n’ Roll!
Identity Disc #2 (2004)
Writer: Rob Rodi

For those who haven’t heard of it, Identity Disc is a miniseries from a few years back that is essentially what happened when a writer decided to take The Usual Suspects and rewrite it with six supervillains. Five of the villains are interesting characters and help sell the series, but the other one sucks and is somehow the main character. Hint: I’m talking about Vulture.

Deadpool is part of this group in search for the Identity Disc, which has the identities of every superhero. In one scene, he hangs out with Bullseye, waiting to strike a facility and steal a skeleton key device. The two talk about what the Kaiser Soze knockoff of a villain has on them to make them play ball. For Deadpool, he’ll get information on where his ex-wife is. I don’t even think they meant Mercedes from the Kelly run, which makes it more of a continuity clusterfuck. For Bullseye, he’s tried working both sides of a gang war and it’s blown up in his face. If he does his job here, the slate will be wiped clean.

Finally, it hits nightfall and after all that waiting, they can finally get to business. Bullseye says, “Time to rock ‘n’ roll,” as the two sneak around the building. After all the lead-up, all that happens is Bulleye knocks a security guard out by flicking a piece of gravel onto his forehead and then finds the safe and gets the prize. Deadpool is angry over the complete lack of action and the fact that he wasn’t even needed to begin with.

To make up for it…

And there it is. The only scene from Identity Disc you’ll see on the list.

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(I should probably first mention RIP Bea Arthur because… well, you know. It’s on-topic)

Wade Wilson. Deadpool. The Merc with a Mouth. The Deathstroke the Terminator knockoff. Cable’s reluctant sidekick. The would-be mutant. The febrile-minded man who has to deal with outrageous moral quandaries. The man who shot Liberty Valance. The… you get the point. These days are pretty lucrative for the yellow-bubbled anti-hero of Marvel. The character, who as of this writing has been around for 19 years, has gone through many twist and turns in his fictional existence. Enough that I can write up 70 of his best moments. Why 70? Because it’s a week-long series and ten per day is a round enough number on its own.

First appearing in New Mutants #98, created by the team of Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, Deadpool would follow the cast as the series became X-Force. There, his character, though with attempts at humor, was mostly pretty bland. His appearances usually involved him talking about how great the mysterious Mr. Tolliver was paying him followed by Wade beating the crap out of his girlfriend Copycat. So yeah, not very fun.

Then he got his own miniseries. It wasn’t all that great, though the ending showed that he wasn’t a total piece of shit. Then he got another miniseries and it was better. Then he finally got his own on-going series, which had a great run by Joe Kelly. Once he left, it went for about two and a half years of different writers that made the whole thing seem like a big step down. Luckily, prior to being cancelled at #69, Deadpool’s final issues were a huge breath of fresh air and put some life back into the character… except for the fact that they killed him off.

But then his Japanese Ben Reilly self got an on-going series, which ruled until the original creative team was kicked off. Then it eventually turned lousy and got itself cancelled. Thankfully, Marvel brought the original team back for three issues to both explain the mystery of the main character’s identity and bring Deadpool back from the dead. Hurray!

From there, Deadpool shared a comic with his blood enemy Cable. In a series that played the two off of each other brilliantly, it went on for a respectable run. Unfortunately, Cable joined the X-Men at one point and the series, though still very readable, had jumped the shark. Even worse, Cable “died”, thus making it all about just Deadpool again and robbing the magic of what made the series fun. But hey, 50 issues isn’t bad.

After a memorable stint in Wolverine Origins, Deadpool has returned to form in yet another solo series. Plus a recent one-shot. And a new miniseries. And a role in Messiah War. And a spot in the animated movie Hulk vs. Wolverine. And a Thunderbolts crossover. And a SECOND on-going series coming up in a few months.

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds is playing Wade Wilson in a movie that’s coming out, but apparently has little to do with what made people like the character in the first place. Like Movie Deadpool’s lack of mouth for one.

Now, then. Let’s get this countdown underway.

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This is something stupid I came up with months back that some people still seem to get a kick out of, so I figured I’d share it here. A while back, somebody posted this cover image at the Something Awful forum of one of Arthur “ZOMBIES!” Suydam’s covers for Wolverine.

The image is old news, but it’s still fun to laugh at now and again. I mean, look at his face! That smile! His lack of teeth! The way he’s just so jazzed about stabbing that guy with his claws!

I figured out a way to enhance that cover. I want you to click the above image into a new tab or window so you get the full-sized version. Did that? Good.

Now I want you to press play on the following YouTube clip from Strange Wilderness and keep it on while staring at the above Wolverine image.

Congratulations! I just wasted your time!

As we last left our Ultimate heroes, Yellowjacket bit off the Blob’s head out of revenge and Wolverine found Nightcrawler lying amongst the poo-gas. Now we continue with the X-Men and see what Thor and Captain America are up to.

Those X-Men sure don’t give a shit about the millions of other people who died. Muties are so elitist. Yeah, I said it.

Thanks to ManiacClown for the usual assistance. I really only mention his name and bold it out out of habit these days. Maniac Clown, dudes.

Tomorrow we’ll get more Thor fun as well as Multiple Man.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Back for round three.

Yesterday we had Magneto strangle Mystique and then throw a rogue Madrox dupe out the window, where he promptly exploded. I hope they weren’t really in space or else he’d have just doomed them all. What an anti-climax that would be. Even still, by tossing Madrox out the window, Magneto’s letting all the heat out.

Now it’s time for some Yellowjacket and Hawkeye action. It’s best to remember exactly what gruesome sight they’re following up on.

ManiacClown wanted me to fit in a Bad Taste reference in regards to the first page, but only after the fact did he realize he meant Dead Alive. That scamp.

Isn’t it kind of convenient that Pym keeps his special technology to save Janet’s life in the Triskelion rather than the now-destroyed building where his lab was and he was under house arrest in?

Tomorrow we get more X-Men drama. Whee.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!