The weekend of chunky guys dressed like Colossus and hot women dressed as Slave Leia has come to an end. I myself had a great time, spent with hermanos from this very site and a whole bunch of guys from Funnybook Babylon. Sadly, Thomas “Wanderer” Wilde deemed himself “too broke” to consider joining us and Hoatzin would have probably involved a gigantic plane ticket paid in rare diamonds, since he’s from Europe. I don’t know. I really have no grasp on how that type of thing works. Besides, Hoatzin seems to have vanished from our planet. What happened to that guy?

This one movie sent the other movie into space.

Day One

Last year I got to New York the day before the con started, which allowed me enough rest and whatnot. This year I had to come in the first day of the event and kill time until David Uzumeri came in from Canada, since he was in charge of dealing with the hotel. I walked straight from the Port Authority bus terminal to the Javits Center, which tired me the hell out.

After getting my swanktastical press pass, I met up with hermanos and Joseph of FBB. They were at a panel starting up that was a screening for a new Will Eisner documentary. Since I was tired from all that walking, I decided to stick around and watch it. I found it interesting in the sense that I honestly didn’t know all that much about Eisner, which is almost a sin if you’re a comic fan. The four of us (David U. showed up towards the end) mostly agreed that while it had some fantastic stuff in there, such as taped conversations between Eisner and guys like Kirby, the sum of it was incredibly dry.

Shortly after, we went to the panel on online journalism, with guys from Newsarama and CBR there. It wasn’t as good as the comic blogging panel from last year and mostly focused on arguing over criticism vs. getting press releases. Once that was done with, I was rested up enough to do some wandering.

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I’m going to have a big post about Comic Con later in the day, but something caught my eye today and I felt I needed to make mention of it. Back in the mid-90’s, DC released a commercial to the masses about their comics. It was well-produced and even though at that age I couldn’t name half the characters shown, I still thought it was pretty badass.

It would show character art of heroes from that era and morph them into other characters as the announcer went on. Here’s a quick transcript, minus the echoing female voice:

Announcer: DC. Incredible action. Astonishing adventure. The coolest heroes. The hottest heroines. And the most outrageous villains…

Darkseid: TOO TOUGH FOR TEE VEE!

Announcer: …in the universe!

Lobo (with an animated mouth and a voice that tries way too hard to be animated Wolverine): This ain’t yer daddy’s comic book, fanboy!

Announcer: DC Comics!

I never got the whole “too tough for TV” thing. Didn’t they have Batman: The Animated Series around that time?

Maybe you remember this. The only reason I still do is because a fairly local comic shop, Zapp Comics, used the same commercial. After DC decided to stop using the ad, Zapp just took the same commercial and added their store’s information to the last few seconds. It’s weird that they would do a commercial that doesn’t even mention Marvel in any capacity, but like I said, it’s a well-produced commercial.

They aren’t the only ones who do this. A quick search on YouTube helped me find the same commercial, only with information from Humungo Comics in Pennsylvania tacked on.

Why do I remember this commercial and bring it up? Because they still play it! I just saw the damned thing on TV less than an hour ago!

Yes, it’s a nice ad, but it’s been like 12-14 years. Look at all the dated stuff in that commercial. Murderous Hooded Green Arrow, Yellow-Ringed Guy Gardner with the G jacket, Deathstroke shown as one of the “coolest heroes”, Matrix Supergirl, Catwoman with her huge curly hair as one of the first villains shown, MOTHERFUCKING LEX LUTHOR JUNIOR! I could have sworn I saw Evil Raven in the commercial I saw on TV, but she’s not on the YouTube video.

I know comic shops may not have the revenue necessary to make a flashy new commercial every few years, but at this rate, some kid will be watching this and Lobo’s one-liner will be wrong. Those actually were that kid’s daddy’s comic books.

I’ve seen it said, both online and off, that intent doesn’t matter– results do.

It doesn’t matter that you intended to do one thing if it ends up being another. All that matters is the end result and how the reader takes it.

I don’t know that I agree. For one, it puts the reader on a higher pedestal than the author. I’m not entirely comfortable with that. On equal levels? Sure, I can get with that. What you take from it is just as important was what’s portrayed or what was intended. But, the reverse?

Why should the experience of the reader trump that of the author?

Honest question, not just talking out loud.

A year ago, I bought, read and reviewed Peter David’s novelization of Spider-Man 3. I thought it was pretty good and went on record to say that Sam Raimi would have to go out of his way to fuck up that movie. Wouldn’t you know it, he did exactly that. He deleted a handful of scenes that would have turned the movie’s three villains into more than ridiculous, one-dimensional jokes. While he removed all the valuable Eddie Brock and Sandman scenes, he made it even worse by hardly shaving off any whiny Mary Jane moments.

I made the decision to go for round two. This time Peter David writes a novelization based on the upcoming Iron Man film. More than anything, I was curious. The build-up has been nice. Not just with the trailers, but the feeling that there’s love in the movie. I recall Jon Favreau saying that in preparation, he had been reading every single issue of Iron Man from the 60’s on. So would love be enough to make this story work?

Yes. Yes it really would.

I’m not going to give out explicit spoilers, but if you really want an absolute blank slate to the point that you didn’t even watch the trailers, by all means don’t read this and instead just give me $5.

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Getting love from the Scans_Daily crew, it’s the final installment of Ultimate Edit Week 3. Yesterday we saw Iron Man show off the magic Wanda-killing bullet to Wasp, right after everyone left for the Savage Land. So, what now?

(You really should read yesterday’s last page before continuing here.)

If you have any of those songs stuck in your head now, I consider this a job well done. ManiacClown will join me again the next time an issue drops, but in the meantime, I’ll still be around writing my usual brand of blogduggery. I have a handful of articles that are just sitting there, half done. I really should do something about that.

Thanks for reading.

Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

As we last left our heroes, Wolverine finally shut the hell up and Wasp came up with a plan. They would try to sneak into the Savage Land to surprise a bunch of villains who have every reason to expect them coming. Brilliant.

Admittedly, not too many jokes this time around. For once, we’re actually getting plot progression here. Shocking, I know.

If that first page offended you, send all your hatemail to ManiacClown. Not that I’m going to give you his email, since I’ve grown to like the guy.

Tomorrow is the last three pages with a yawn-inducing cliffhanger. See you then.

Day Seven!

Welcome back, friends. Last time we met, Wolverine talked about meeting Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, followed by his ordered attempt to kill the latter. Then dinosaurs happened. Thankfully, we’re about done with his endless flashback.

That line at the end of the second page? I think we have a new 4th Letter tagline.

This is the part of the article where I give a token mention to ManiacClown for the assist. More tomorrow, as Iron Man and Black Panther show up for a spell.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

Nothing much happened yesterday. I mean, it was just a cover, a recap page and Wolverine talking. That’s how 40% of Marvel’s comics start out these days. Anywho, here’s some more of Wolverine talking.

Join us tomorrow, as me and ManiacClown cover more of Wolverine talking.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Here’s our final round for the issue. Yesterday, Captain America and Hawkeye fought Sabretooth and Multiple Man to their hearts’ content. This story is going to have to move real quick if it’s going to wrap up in three pages. Good thing we have Quicksilver.

And that’s the end of that, at least for a couple weeks. As always, thanks go out to my imaginary friend ManiacClown. Thanks also to all of you who read this, enjoy it and make the effort to get others to read and enjoy this. Yes, Virginia. You can polish a turd.

Ultimate Edit Week 3!
Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

Me and ManiacClown are back for another go. Last time, Tony Stark was really drunk (surprise) and Mystique tried to kill him by pretending to be Black Widow. What a stupid, stupid plan. The more I think of that plan, the worse it is. Of all the people to be, why a dead traitor who last tried to kill the guy you’re trying to seduce? At least if she was Captain America or a pizza delivery man, she’d have an outside chance of fooling someone who wasn’t drunk. At least that scene gave us Iron Man’s “sober enough” panel, which I admittedly thought was kind of cool. Now on with the show.

Join us tomorrow, as Captain America learns it’s time to play the Game.

Day Six!
Day Seven!