As always, it’s another week full of panel goodness thanks to the help of Gaijin Dan Man, AnarChris Man, Matlock Man, and Gavok Man. We’re still trying to figure out who’s weak to whose power.
If you’re wondering just what Spider-Man is talking about, I’ll provide the answer after the panels below.
Iggy Azalea sounds like she’s always one “Yeah~ho!” away from being Gangsta Boo. I think I like her voice over her production (generally Diplo, for the tape I linked), but it’s hard to not hear Chyna White or Diamond or Trina (especially Trina, “Down South” could easily be a Trina joint like “Look Back At Me”, which is as NSFW as it is incredible) when she raps. I got the same problem with A$AP Rocky, but Iggy’s nice enough that I haven’t given up. It’s this weird dissonance, I guess, where I hear one thing and instead of listening to that, I’m remembering something else.
I was talking out loud on Twitter the other day about white girl rappers. It’s real interesting to me, because a few have come up (or come to my attention — same thing) over the past few years. There’s a couple different types of white girl rappers, I feel like. There’s the Kreayshawn/Iggy Azalea route where you rep your whiteness as hard as you can, like a badge of honor or the point of a knife. Hence Kreayshawn repping White Girl Mob as hard as she can, and Iggy rapping about hanging out with “white bitches” and “black bitches” in a very black flow. There’s an “I double dog dare you to say something” in there.
Kitty, fka Kitty Pryde, is the other type. I described it as “Tee hee I’m white” on Twitter, I think, and it’s this self-aware awkwardness where she knows what you’re thinking but don’t really care. “You say, ‘This little white girl is ruinin’ hip hop’/I say, ‘Damn right!’ And take a lick of the Ring Pop,” right? There’s a tease in there. I like Kitty a lot, in part because she’s pretty good at being pretty funny.
White girls in rap is a real interesting subject for me. It’s different than white dudes, but I’m having a hard time finding people talking about why and how. There’s this whole cultural quagmire there, where we’re checking off several boxes and what results is… whatever this is. I’m really interested in the repping part of things, because being white is presumably as awesome as being black is, but racists screwed that up for white people in a big way. Fine lines, right?
“She Hates Me” is my favorite song on that Big Boi album. I love that version of Jean Greasy’s Supa Love.
–I like Tom Spurgeon’s thoughts on working for free. Personally, my “Should I work for free” flowchart goes “Are we related? Did I give you my phone number? Are we friends? Do I like you?” and if the answer to all of those is “no,” then you’re coughing up the cash. If the answer to any of those is “yes,” then I’ll think about how much effort it would take me, what you would get out of it, and how much more money you have than I do before I make a decision. Easy-peasy. (If I don’t like you, the answer’s always “no,” tho. Even if you’re willing to pay double.)
-A reader named CC emailed me out of the blue the other day to talk about my review of Moto Hagio’s Heart of Thomas on ComicsAlliance. She said she took issue with it (!) and wrote a paper that in part addresses it (!!) and wanted to give me a headsup (!!!). I really wanted to know what she meant, and she was kind enough to email me back and give me an autopsy. It was really enlightening, and she picked up on my subconscious uncomfortableness with shoujo, which showed up in how I approached writing about the book. Looking at what I wrote and she said, my takeaway is that I made the mistake of approaching the book as an outsider, a looky-loo, instead of digging into what it meant to me, which I do with basically everything else. So I ended up unintentionally giving the book short shrift, something I was consciously trying to avoid. Life is weird. She’s posted the first part of her paper here, with the second to follow soon. I’m looking forward to it. You can find more of her writing here. She’s really smart, and I’m not just saying that because she caught me half-stepping.
I watched Children Who Chase Lost Voices this weekend. I liked it. It’s in a Ghibli mode, which is actually pretty distracting. I’m reading Hayao Miyazaki’s Nausicaa right now, and the movie feels incredibly inferior to that. I’m doing a terrible job of why I liked it, huh? I think I liked the overt Miyazakian elements, the fantasy and communing with nature and being friends/family stuff, but the movie ended up being about a boring dude with a boring problem and a boring dead wife. I would’ve liked it more if Asuna was the focus of the end of the movie, instead of just a prop so that some guy can get over his grief. But… it’s still worth watching? The designs are really nice and the animation is pretty. “Watch this! Parts of it suck!” Sorry. Trailer:
Open thread. What’re you reading/watching/hearing/enjoying?
We’re almost done. Last time we checked in, the Ultimates and X-Men escaped the exploding Avalon and then Cyclops got shot in the head at a rally. Surely that would be enough, but I think Loeb can squeeze in maybe ONE more death before he calls it in.
Hey, remember that Ultimate Fantastic Four arc when Dr. Doom fought and somehow survived against the Cosmic Marvel Zombies Corps after they had just eaten Galactus and inherited his power? The same story that flat out told us that in terms of power, Doom > Thor > Human Torch > Thing? Who knew that all Thing had to do is just walk up to Doom and do that?
Yesterday, Jean Grey forced Magneto to see Nick Fury’s memories, which caused Magneto to repent all of his wrongdoing. Then Cyclops acted like a total hero by exploding the head of an old man who was no longer a threat. Good going, guy.
In the actual comic, Fury really showed Magneto how mutants were man-made in a laboratory, as part of Ultimate Origins. I’m still not totally sure why this caused Magneto to change his ways completely. Magneto’s war stopped being humans vs. mutants a while ago, what with him not only killing mutants by the score, but the fact that he was killing his own underlings for the hell of it. And yet this little snippet of information puts him into, “What have I done?!” mode.
Let us move forward.
I blame ManiacClown for that Burma Shave gag and the Wonder Pets thing. Give the guy a break on the latter one. He’s a father. It’s his business to watch that show.
We’ll continue with the X-Men insanity tomorrow, plus a little trip to Latveria.
It was only yesterday when Nick Fury got Dr. Doom to explain his behind-the-scenes role in Ultimates 3 and how it led to what’s going on in Ultimatum. Then Wolverine and Kitty Pryde hung out because there’s nothing important going on anywhere at the moment.
Let’s finish with that scene, then take a trip to Magneto’s place for punch and pie.
In case you’re wondering what the hell Magneto and Sabretooth are talking about, here, knock yourself out. The very fact that this song exists boggles my mind to this day.
And you see that final Hawkeye panel? In the original, he says, “That’s gonna leave a mark.” NO IT WON’T. THAT IS SABRETOOTH.
Tomorrow, ManiacClown and I will close out yet another week. It leads to a legitimately badass final page, other than how Storm looks like some kind of alien cripple doing an interpretive dance. You’ll know it when you see it.
As we last left our unfortunate heroes, Nick Fury is visited by Mr. Fantastic, Dr. Doom and Zarda. He doesn’t seem at all surprised to find out that the world is being torn apart in his absence, as he apparently warned Doom about it back in the day.
Hey, ever notice that the current Squadron Supreme series takes place five years after Ultimate Power, but only months have passed in the Ultimate Universe? What the hell is up with that?
ManiacClown and I will be back tomorrow to finish off the Kitty Pryde scene and finally get to some actual Magneto action. It’s about time.
I’m sure you remember yesterday… or maybe not. I mean, nothing really happened due to it being just a cover, a recap and a page of Hulk breaking stuff. At least here we’ll get somewhere.
If you want some actual context on how we got from point A to point B, in the pages of Ultimate Spider-Man, Spider-Man and Hulk stumbled upon Strange’s house, where demons and stuff were being released due to the place’s structural damage. Strange was taken over by Nightmare, who attacked the heroes, only for Hulk to pound on Nightmare until that big explosion happened. I explain this because Ultimate Spider-Man is the only comic that makes the Ultimatum situation not suck.
We’ll be back tomorrow for more from Strange and the Great Pumpkin.
40) Siryn Stays Deadpool #5 (1997)
Writer: Joe Kelly
Deadpool’s healing factor has been on the fritz, and he’s offered help from a strange source in Dr. Killbrew. Killbrew is the sadistic scientist who tortured Wade and gave him his powers in the first place, but now he’s a guilt-ridden old man who wants to make things right. Deadpool really wants to tear him apart, but two things are stopping him. One, the cure for his ailing healing factor and two, Siryn is in his company for the adventure.
After a run-in with the Hulk, Deadpool has a blood sample that’s able to pump him back up to working condition. Behind Siryn’s back, he tries to murder Killbrew. Killbrew is only slightly reluctant, but accepts that he deserves this. Before Deadpool can end it for him, Siryn breaks the door down with her voice. She’s furious at Deadpool and stands in front of Killbrew to protect him.
The two argue back and forth, with Deadpool continuingly demanding Siryn leaves the room so he can do this. She flat out refuses, making him freak out. He doesn’t want to show this part of himself in front of her, but he’s being given no choice. Siryn demands to see proof that Deadpool’s inner animal wins out over the good man she knows he can be and lets it slip that she’s known for a while that Deadpool’s been creepily watching over her when she sleeps and feels safe because of it. She promises she’ll be there for him, allowing Deadpool to feel mercy for once in his life. He tells Killbrew to get the hell out of there ASAP and to thank Siryn for being able to keep his pulse.
Yesterday saw various baseball games called off due to rain. Plus Human Torch and his dad drowned. Hey, if it means I don’t have to look at Johnny Storm’s ugly hair anymore, I’m for it.
Now, some more devastation.
ManiacClown was too busy with real-life work to help out, but he did insist on making a JFK Jr. joke in terms of Angel flying underwater. Not cool, man. Not cool. Though, to be fair, I was planning on referring to Ultimatum’s disaster as “9/11 and Katrina have a baby”.
Tomorrow it’s all about Reed and Sue with a little bit of Namor tossed in there for you.
If we are here not to do
What you and I wanna do
And go forever crazy with it
Why the hell are we even here?
There was never any good old days
They are today, they are tomorrow
It’s a stupid thing we say
Cursing tomorrow with sorrow
When we stand here in a row
Looking like a bunch of heroes
I know that-ah deep inside
Nothing more but bunch of zeros
— “Ultimate” by Gogol Bordello
We couldn’t stay away.
After the job that ManiacClown and I did with Jeph Loeb and Joe Mad’s Ultimates 3, we decided that we would give the follow-up event Ultimatum a shot. When I say we’d give it a shot, I don’t mean that we were sure we were going to target it from the very beginning. More that we were going to give it a shot of being passable and leaving it alone.
As it got closer to the release, we knew that although it was nice to be generous, it was going to be all for naught. Between the Ultimate Captain America Annual that showed Ultimate Black Panther’s origin and the laughable X-Men/Fantastic Four crossover written by Loeb’s Heroes buddies, we could tell that the writing was on the wall. Loeb was referring to Ultimatum as the story that would destroy the Ultimate universe and sadly, he’s already been doing that. Ultimate Spider-Man remains the only thing worth reading.
The Loeb backlash has already started somewhat. He’s been axed from Heroes. From what I understand, those burned by the first six issues of Hulk have left in droves. Don’t they realize that Hulk, who has become Joe Fixit again for no reason, is fighting Sentry, Moon Knight and Ms. Marvel because they’re sort of Marvel’s version of the DC Trinity? That’s compelling stuff! I’m not even sure how well Ultimatum will do in the long run, since it’s not really latching onto Millar’s Ultimates run’s success like Loeb’s last foray. And, you know, there are far better comic events going on with Secret Invasion and Final Crisis. Then again, now that he’s off Heroes he has more time to write comics. Stupid double-edge sword.
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this weekend. I liked it. It’s in a Ghibli mode, which is actually pretty distracting. I’m reading Hayao Miyazaki’s Nausicaa right now, and the movie feels incredibly inferior to that. I’m doing a terrible job of why I liked it, huh? I think I liked the overt Miyazakian elements, the fantasy and communing with nature and being friends/family stuff, but the movie ended up being about a boring dude with a boring problem and a boring dead wife. I would’ve liked it more if Asuna was the focus of the end of the movie, instead of just a prop so that some guy can get over his grief. But… it’s still worth watching? The designs are really nice and the animation is pretty. “Watch this! Parts of it suck!” Sorry. Trailer:
