Geoff Johns and Ethan van Sciver’s Flash: Rebirth #3 explains Barry Allen’s bowtie (again), features a race between Flash and Superman (Flash wins, because the other races were for charity), and the return of a Flash villain (surprise!). It’s bringing a very Silver Age character into a modern context, resulting in the kind of story that Barry hasn’t really appeared in before, to my knowledge. It’s kind of like Green Lantern: Rebirth, which was the revitalization and redemption of a Silver Age icon whose time had passed some years before. The new Supergirl is the old Supergirl, the new Kid Flash used to be the Flash, and Green Lantern is doing a story that springs from, what, eight pages from twenty years ago?

And I’m bored.

I’m not on the “DC sucks, Marvel rules!” tip, because a lot of Marvel books are boring me in a different way than most of DC’s current output. I’ll read a book if an interesting team is on it, obviously, and I buy a gang of Vertigo. But, when I think of what I’m least interested in currently, DC is the first thing on my lips.

It was the Flash/Superman race in Flash: Rebirth. I’m a Flash fan. It’s obvious, and I’ve written about my love for certain stories featuring character before. At the same time… the race was just another in a long line of nods at a time that was over before I was born. That’s the only reason it existed. It’s like a Family Guy joke– “do you remember when?” I don’t know what it added to the story except “Barry is a jerk now” and “Superman is slower than the Flash.” The bowtie thing– I don’t get it. Who cares about his bowtie? Is this something I’m missing? Does it hold some special significance, other than a woman he just met gave it to him, and he later married her?

No, it’s another “remember when?”

Answer: Yes.

“Interested yet?”

Answer: No. I’m tired of watching reruns.

IGN interviewed Greg Rucka about the upcoming Batwoman feature in Detective Comics. There are a couple of things I wanted to pull out and call attention to.

You know, nobody wants to read, and we certainly didn’t want to write an after school special. But as you’ll see in the origin, there is a moment when she has to pay a huge price for the fact that she is gay. She has to sacrifice something of incredible value to her just to be true to herself.

Ten bucks says that she falls victim to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The concept art mentions a military background, and Rucka emphasizes that she isn’t Batwoman for the same reasons as Batman. Say if she were driven to serve, and it was something she truly believed in, and she was bounced out of the military? She gets back to Gotham, does the alcoholic thing for a while, and suits up, because she’s going to help people one way or another. Sound plausible?

But she is the first mainstream superhero who starts out of the box gay. And arguably she’s going to be the most prominent gay superhero.

What definition of mainstream is Rucka using here? There were a few characters in X-Statix a few years ago, and fifteen years ago we had what’s probably the best gay couple in comics– Donner & Blitzen, from Milestone’s Shadow Cabinet and Heroes.

Milestone isn’t obscure– it was published in cooperation with DC Comics, is fondly remembered by many, and sales don’t appear to have been too bad up until it closed its doors. What’s up with that?

As an aside– I don’t know if you noticed this, but IGN managed to misspell Renee Montoya’s name throughout the interview. Good going, guys. Way to, I don’t know, keep up the high standards.

Once again – a cut up top for Red Robin #1 spoilers.

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Since we get right into spoilers for Batman and Robin #1 and for Secret Six #10, I’ll put the cut up front.

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I’ve noticed that occasionally almost all superhero comics have an occasional issue that shows the characters in it just, hanging out, having fun, doing non-superhero things.  Of course these issues generally throw in a fight or two, but most of the plot is the characters having some down time and talking.

These issues often get a great reaction from fans.  A lot of what’s driving that reaction, of course, is the rarity of such issues.  They’re a break from what we’re used to, and that always gets people talking.

It’s tempting to declare that more of such issues would boost sales.  I enjoy them when they come out, and even look forward to them.  But if they were coming out every month, would I still like them as much?  Would anyone?

Tough to say.  Still, I think I would enjoy seeing day-to-day lives of superheroes or teams, or even minor characters.  Perhaps a book that chose different characters each month, like The Brave and the Bold.  If you had to choose, which character from superhero comics would you like to follow around when they’re out of costume?

When asked about the best significant other to pair up with Batman, the first choice I’ve gotten from nearly everyone I talk to is Catwoman.

I understand the symbolic pairing.  His sense of order and her lawlessness.  His grim quest and her indulgent enthusiasms.  Their two avatars complementing each other.  That really works in the comics.  I can totally get on board with them as the two those two people who can’t keep their hands off each other. 

But in every other way, I just don’t feel the pairing at all.  They don’t work except jumping across rooftops flirting with each other.  Whenever they interact in any other way, all I can think about when I see the two of them together is how he’s too good for her while she is, simultaneously, too good for him.

Professionally, he’s too good for her.  He’s a guy who works tirelessly to rid the streets of crime, to look out for the truly helpless, to make sure that no one else has to feel what he felt as a child.  She’s a klepto with some social skills.

But then, at least she has those social skills.  Good god, imagine dating Bruce Wayne even if you knew he was Batman.

“I don’t know Bruce, what do you think the Penguin is up to?”

“Gee, Bruce, that’s okay.  I don’t mind you missing dinner again.  It’s only been sixteen days in a row.”

“Wow.  That’s a picture of a really cute kid.  So how did you get estranged from this one?”

Even aside from all of that, honestly, what a boring, judgmental, withdrawn, sullen, self-righteous, and humorless prick Batman is.  I love him.  I got into comics reading Batman.  But he’s a trial to be around, and I can’t ignore that.

Selina Kyle, on the other hand, has consistently shown, wit, humor, empathy, charm and a joie de vivre that would make her a fantastic date and a great girlfriend.

So while these two are equally weighted and eternally paired in the public consciousness, and while they really do know how to steam up a fight scene, I’ve never been a fan.  You?

HEAT worked. It took ten years, but they finally got back their totally awesome better-than-everybody-else forever-and-ever-amen hero back.

All the others, though– Girl-Wonder (at least regarding Stephanie Brown), whoever it is that wants Ted Kord/The Question/Firestorm back, and various other comics movements– have any of those ever worked? I can’t think of one.

Nope, it was my own doing. I was fired when “Lying in the Gutters” ran a compilation of two years or so of my answers to fans’ questions on the DC Comics discussion boards. I’m told my removal had nothing to with either the quality of my work or the level of sales, rather with my revelation of behind-the-scenes creative discussions.

I have to say I’m a bit disappointed, because next summer was planned to feature a JLA-driven crossover, where my book’s story line would have been the driving force. I’m distressed by where I left Black Canary, as my intention was to use the current subplot to strengthen her character and relationships with the new membership, and instead I’m leaving her at the bottom of a hole I’d intended to rebuild her from. I was also just about to get a regular artist for the first time since I’ve been on the book, which would have been nice. That said, I’m sure DC’s going to put together a creative team that will generate major excitement around JLA, which is as it should be.

As for me, I’m still busy story-editing both Ben 10: Alien Force (just nominated for 3 Emmys!) and the upcoming new Ben 10 series “Ben 10: Evolutions.” As far as comic-related stuff, the all-new “Milestone Forever,” is still on track for late this year/early next year, and the Milestone trade paperback program is in full swing, with Static Shock, Icon and Hardware volumes already on the way. I’ve also recently completed a console video game script that I can’t talk about yet, but that will be of interest to anyone reading this thread. I’m currently writing a Direct-To-Video animated feature for Warner Animation, the second of two I’ve taken on this year. Again, I can’t say what they are until they’re officially announced, but they’re likely of interest to superhero fans, and one of them I can’t help looking at as what-could-have-been. You’ll see what I mean.

From McDuffie’s boards, via the homey Uzumeri.

And I mean, I’m not surprised. It’s sad, but I’m very glad to see that McDuffie has plenty of stuff lined up. I wish DC hadn’t hamstrung him right out of the gates, but that’s what happens with top-down editing. I said it in ’07 and it’s still true: DC screwed up. They screwed up hard.

McDuffie show-ran Justice League Unlimited and he’s running Ben10. Those cartoons are rolling in dough. The Static Shock cartoon had better ratings than Pokemon. Why bring him in and then handcuff him? He gave Tom Brevoort gold on Fantastic Four. Fun, all ages comics that had plenty of appeal for everyone.

To put him on JLA, and then tell him “Write these stories,” is pathetic. McDuffie and the JLA is a no-brainer. Everyone loved JLU. That’s why they put him on the book. It’s so simple a child could come up with it. The fact that he had to address the status of the book in public basically means that he was getting no traction behind the scenes, doesn’t it? Doesn’t that sound like some kind of mismanagement?

Firing McDuffie when you still employ artists who can barely draw anything approaching acceptable comics, such as Ed Benes or Tony Daniel, is pathetic. Try again.

DC Comics, and Dan Didio, lost. End of story.

As part of the ongoing Green Lantern: The Masquerade theme, I’ve been looking through the various Green Lantern Corps, wondering what Corps I’d be signing up for.

Green is traditional, and I look good in the color.  But come on, willpower?  Me?  I’ve spent the last five years swearing that I’d get up early tomorrow and go jogging.  Also I’d have to put up with Guy Gardner.

Red?  I do like kitties, and they have one on staff.  But rage is tiring and vomiting lava is hard on the throat.

Yellow is a terrible color for me, and I can’t see myself instilling fear in anyone.

Forget about the Pink Corps of Star Sapphires.  Wearing that little clothing in the icy vacuum of space?  Why don’t I just pour a tray of ice cubes down my pants?

I flat-out hate the Indigo Lanterns.  Serene bastards.   You’re supposed to be compassionate!  Get off your lazy benevolent asses and get to work!

The Blue, the Lanterns of Hope, might get my vote, because hey, I’m hopeful.  Didn’t I spend the last four months hoping that they wouldn’t cancel Dollhouse?  And lo, they did not.   Behold my power!

But then there’s the Orange Corps.  Honestly, these are the ones I really want to be on.  Imagine all the cool stuff you’d get if someone gave you an magic wishing ring powered by greed.  That would rock.  And hard.

Sadly, as far as I can see, the Orange Corps is headed by Larfleeze, who looks like a bug would if it had just flown up your nose during an otherwise lovely bike ride and forced you to sneeze it out into your hand again.  And the only way you can join the Corps is to let Larfleeze kill you and steal your identity.

There’s always a catch, isn’t there?

We took the plunge and recorded the inaugural 4thletter! Fourcast! this weekend. Esther and I sat down in my apartment and talked about comics for a while, and our gift to you is thirty-four minutes and five seconds of good stuff. I’m not 100% happy with the mix, as there are a few audio peaks spread throughout, but we can work those out as we go along.

We’re looking at a biweekly schedule for now, and bringing in a few surprise guest stars down the line. We also need to rope Gavin into the mix, but that’s a problem for another day.

We begin the first of many Fourcasts with a talk about Batman: Battle for the Cowl, Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance starring the Super Young Team, and what character really hooked us into comics.

If you want to subscribe, hit up the podcast-specific RSS feed or grab the normal one. Tell your friends, give us an iTunes review or three, and drop us some comments. If you want to subscribe on iTunes, click here! If you have suggestions or want to donate some music… drop me an email.