I’ve never been a fan of character death. The impact of a character’s death on any particular story seems a poor trade for all the stories that they could be in. The latest trend of characters coming back to life seems to be unpopular with most people, but I love it. That said, I would kill off the Joker in a heartbeat. He’s mean.
So. What character would you gladly see the last of? And what would be the best death for them?
Man.
So, I’ve had a hard time getting into Wonder Woman outside of basically Joe Kelly’s JLA and a few other short runs. The Heinberg run was terrible, Jodi Picoult was bad, and Simone’s run didn’t grab me at all. Esther has a few reasons why, but the core of it for me is that she is very rarely interesting in a written manner and she’s got crap for good villains. She’s got a fake Catwoman, a gross midget and I’m sure that there’s an Evil Wonder Woman Doppleganger in there somewhere. Wonder Man or something.
I read the latest issue of Gail Simone’s WW, #26, because I kept hearing about some ridiculous goings-on in there. There’s Darkseid’s minions bothering to graffiti the old home of the Greek gods, who apparently went into space at one point and dress like Star Trek extras. Those bits are dumb, but the dumbest thing has got to be Genocide, WW’s new arch-enemy.
She clearly comes from the Geoff Johns School of Naming, as her nom de villain is very similar to such stand-out names as Atrocitus, Kryb, and Rapetronicus, the Robot with the Heart of Cold.
Genocide is wall-to-wall ridiculous. She has spikes for eyes, spikes on her shoes, spikes on her gauntlets, and spikes on her belt. Just for good measure, she’s got chains on her gauntlets, too, along with a ’90s-era headgear thing. Genocide even does the old “quippin’ while she kills” thing.
Overall, WW26 was pretty dumb, but then I was informed of Genocide’s origin. I think it was in DC Universe #0 where some unseen or shadowy figures gathered up dirt from the locations of various atrocities, including Auschwitz, Croatia, and Darfur, apparently to create a new being made from clay. Setting aside how amazingly tasteless that is (hint: it is just about as tasteful as a monster made out of aborted babies, as last seen in Countdown), it’s a strangely familiar idea, and yet still somehow ridiculous.
Where have I heard this before? Bad costume, terrible origin, bad dialogue… oh.
[Serpentor] was created through a breakthrough in cloning research by Dr. Mindbender from the DNA extracted from the unearthed remains of the most ruthless and effective military leaders in history, including Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonaparte, Attila the Hun, Philip II of Macedon and his son Alexander the Great, Ivan the Terrible, Vlad the Impaler, Hannibal, Genghis Khan, and Grigori Rasputin.
The moral of the story is that this all sounds pretty ridiculous and I think I’ll give it a miss.
Um… let’s not make eye-contact. Just move on.
To bring us up to speed, Venom left his life in San Francisco as a Lethal Protector to the secret underground city behind so he could visit New York City and throw down with Carnage. Carnage was already taken care of, so Venom fought the newly-christened Scarlet Spider, who knocked him out and led to his apprehension. Now Eddie Brock and the symbiote are separated and incarcerated by the government.
This brings us to Separation Anxiety (Venom #23-26) written by Howard Mackie and drawn by Ron Randall.
In a bout with splitting hairs, I always found it interesting that they named a videogame after this story. For one, the game’s story isn’t based on Separation Anxiety, but Lethal Protector. Second, the game is meant to be a sequel to Maximum Carnage, even though that story came after Lethal Protector. Third, even though Carnage had nothing to do with Lethal Protector, they toss him in as the final boss for the hell of it. Hey, they did have those sprites lying around from the last game.
It’s been three years since Gav and I relaunched 4thletter.net on my own server and rededicated our efforts toward comics blogging. I was going to do this big post about my favorite posts from the blog or some other fancy “we’re still here, suckers!” post, but I finally got out of bed about an hour ago time and effort were against me.
Either way, it’s been a good three years. One day we’ll get too big and have to break up and then this will be the epitaph written on 4l’s grave:
At the height of their fame and glory, they turned on one another, each struggling in vain for ultimate supremacy. In the passion and depth of their struggle, the very art that had raised them through such radiant heights was lost. Their techniques vanished.
Until then, we’ll never reveal the secrets of the Wu-Tang. Here’s to three more.
The day after the last issue of Batman RIP, I’ve been thinking it over, and you know who would make a great writing team? Judd Winick and Grant Morrison.
No! Wait! Don’t go!
I don’t care much about Mark Millar’s Old Man Logan arc in the pages of Wolverine one way or the other, but I don’t get this part. Logan and Hawkeye drive around South Dakota and pass this.
The Venom symbiote just chilling on the side of a mountain. No reference to it anywhere. It’s just that panel. The hell is that about?
Anyway, before I get into the next Venom arc, we should take a look at Marvel Comics Presents #160-163. There were no Venom appearances in these issues. There were stories involving Tigra, Slapstick, Hawkeye and Vengeance, but nothing with Venom. Why is it so important? Because it introduces a character named Mace.
Mace is a character created by Carl Potts. Through the four issues, he writes an origin for him as basically the Japanese Wolverine. A criminal organization called the Sunrise Society takes the cloned DNA of a skilled martial artist and has it genetically engineered to create the perfect warrior. Since the Society is paranoid and thinks the scientist that created Mace is a traitor, they have him killed. The scientist is quick to destroy all of his notes, making Mace one-of-a-kind. Using his new cyber ninja skills, Mace escapes the Sunrise Society and knows freedom for the first time in his life.
He’s armed with a cybernetic mace, a healing factor, a laser gun that’s fine-tuned to the tattoo on his arm so it only works when he’s holding it, special vision abilities and… you don’t care. I don’t care. Nobody cares. Nobody has ever cared about Mace other than Carl Potts. That’s why we have Venom: The Mace (Venom #16-18 for those keeping track), featuring the superhero team-up that NOBODY asked for.
You said it, Batman.
I think I’m spoiling things under here, so don’t read this unless you’ve already read the issue.
Read the rest of this entry �
Notice I didn’t say Secret Six, the comic, is perfect. I’m sure there are flaws in there somewhere, but I’m not in the mood to find them. And, of course, none of the Six are perfect at anything. Deadshot’s a great shot, but he isn’t exactly legendary, and he godawful fighter. Catman has always played second-fiddle to Batman. Actually he’s played something like eighth fiddle to Batman. Possibly he got kicked out of the string section altogether and has to follow Batman around with a tuba. My point is, he’s not in the same league. Scandal turned to business because she couldn’t measure up to her father and runs a mercenary team because she couldn’t quite hack it in business. Ragdoll is pretty flexible, but you’d have to put him up against Dick Grayson in a stretch-off before I’d could judge who’s bendier. Plus there’s always Plastic Man.
Nor do they form the best team. When a team’s greatest accomplishment is managing to keep one of its members from getting knocked up by a guy named Dr. Psycho you know that you aren’t talking about the JLA. Especially since the team didn’t manage to keep one of its members from knocking up Cheshire. Right there, in that middle ground of evil between Dr. Psycho and Cheshire is where the Six’s effectiveness lies. What I’m saying is, they’re not impressive.
It’s a cliché to say that a character’s flaws are what make them unique. However, that concept has become a cliché for a reason, and Secret Six demonstrates this reason very well. Batman, as a character, is allowed to make mistakes, but is never allowed to be shown as a buffoon. These characters can. Superman is never allowed to be as petty as any of these characters are. Wonder Woman cannot have their moral failings. None of the team books are allowed the goofiness that this team shows. Because of their ineffectiveness and essentially petty natures, the Secret Six are allowed a freedom that no other characters in the DCU have. Showing the team rescue a puppy, shoot a nun, enter a dance contest, liberate a nation, design a line of handbags, none of these things would be out of place in a Secret Six comic. They will only do things for certain reasons, but there is nothing they will not do.
After you’ve seen the tenth preview for a Batman comic that says something like, “Will the Dark Knight cross the line and kill his opponent,” and thought to yourself, “No. Obviously not. Why even bother trying to make me believe something like that,” that wide range of possibility begins to look very good.
You may have noticed that I haven’t been writing too much in the past week or so. After Ultimatum Edit, I needed to take a little breather, which I’ve been using to play the hell out of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe and lay down my lines for my next iRiffs project. My iRiff for Japoteurs isn’t doing too bad and was at a point listed as the top short on the site. For those of you who bought it, I thank you. For those of you who don’t, c’moooooon!
(vote 5 too)
So, earlier today Esther Inglis-Arkell-Contessa-Louisa-Francesca-Banana-Fanna-Bo-Besca-the-Third posted some nonsense about how badly Bucky Barnes would murder Nightwing. God, this again? It doesn’t really matter. It’s whoever the writer feels would win. Hell, I could write a story about D-Man defeating Galactus if Marvel asked me to do it.
Eh? Hello, Marvel? Anything? No? …Fine.
She even made a post a while back about Superman vs. Batman in a fight. Really? In latter 2008? People are still talking about that?
Come on, people! Superman fighting Batman has been done to death. Goreless, underwhelming and disappointing death that isn’t worth looking up movelists on the internet and… sorry. MKvDC “Heroic Brutality” flashbacks.
We need to move on. The Superman vs. Batman slugfest is old hat. You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking Superman vs. Batman…
DANCE OFF!
Yeah! Now, this is like the opposite of the fighting. When it comes to duking it out, Superman has the advantage and Batman is the underdog. At first glance, Batman should have this in the bag. Not only does the cast of Shortpacked think he’s the Dark Knight of the Dance, but Prince wrote a cheesy song about it.
That’s just conjecture. I’m dealing with cold, hard facts.
We’ve all done Batman vs Superman, and Batman vs Captain America.
How about Original Bucky vs Original Dick Grayson?
It seems like an uneven fight, since Original Bucky fought Nazis while Original Dick Grayson just ran around in a futile effort to make Batman seem less gay, but I’ll be buried deep in the cold, cold ground before I admit a Marvel anything trumps a DC anything, so I’m going to call it for Dick Grayson.
