Another fun-filled week comes to a close. Last time, Hank Pym blew himself up to save the SHIELD folks. None of this would have happened if they remembered Ultimate Captain Marvel exists. There’s a joke in there about Pym committing suicide because he saw that his Janet-less self leads to Dan Slott’s Mighty Avengers, but I… oh, wait. I just made the joke. Carry on.

Let’s finish this off with the Ultimates.

Wow, that’s not a very impressive line-up for the Ultimates. Two of them just died, one of them is dying and the other one wants to die.

Hope you enjoyed this week’s run. ManiacClown and I had a blast. I’m going to be gone for the next few days thanks to the CHIKARA King of Trios tournament in Philly, but I’ll be back with more of that Venom garbage people seem to enjoy. In the meantime, enjoy the usual set of words from hermanos and Esther.

Week 4!

Yesterday’s installment featured Thor and Captain America talking about financing or whatever, followed by Iron Man and Ms. Less-Than-Marvel taking on Multiple Man. Then an arrow shot out. Who could it possibly be?!

In Ultimate X-Men #100, they killed off Ultimate Madrox, so in one fell swoop we get rid of the Matrix and Rocky Horror jokes. Due to the latter, ManiacClown is currently inconsolable.

Join us tomorrow as we close out yet another week.

Day Seven!

And we return. As you may recall, the last installment had the X-Men being dysfunctional as always. Then we saw Thor and Captain America fight side-by-side against the Army of Darkness in order to save the life of Valkyrie.

In terms of cutting room floor jokes, ManiacClown wanted to have Danvers complain that she can accept being killed by Magneto or Doom, but not a C-lister like Multiple Man. Then after a series of shots, “BLAM! D-lister. BLAM! E-lister. BLAM!”

Tomorrow we have… Okay, let me break it down for you. The first issue had a variant cover of Dazzler. The second one had a variant cover of Xavier. We saw what happened with those two. This issue’s variant has Yellowjacket. You know you want to read tomorrow’s update.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

As we last left our Ultimate heroes, Yellowjacket bit off the Blob’s head out of revenge and Wolverine found Nightcrawler lying amongst the poo-gas. Now we continue with the X-Men and see what Thor and Captain America are up to.

Those X-Men sure don’t give a shit about the millions of other people who died. Muties are so elitist. Yeah, I said it.

Thanks to ManiacClown for the usual assistance. I really only mention his name and bold it out out of habit these days. Maniac Clown, dudes.

Tomorrow we’ll get more Thor fun as well as Multiple Man.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Back for round three.

Yesterday we had Magneto strangle Mystique and then throw a rogue Madrox dupe out the window, where he promptly exploded. I hope they weren’t really in space or else he’d have just doomed them all. What an anti-climax that would be. Even still, by tossing Madrox out the window, Magneto’s letting all the heat out.

Now it’s time for some Yellowjacket and Hawkeye action. It’s best to remember exactly what gruesome sight they’re following up on.

ManiacClown wanted me to fit in a Bad Taste reference in regards to the first page, but only after the fact did he realize he meant Dead Alive. That scamp.

Isn’t it kind of convenient that Pym keeps his special technology to save Janet’s life in the Triskelion rather than the now-destroyed building where his lab was and he was under house arrest in?

Tomorrow we get more X-Men drama. Whee.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

And we move forward. Yesterday saw Magneto sit back and listen to the Scarlet Witch. But how can that be if Wanda is dead? But what of the Multiple Man hiding out behind his throne? Today’s update has both of those answers.

Thanks to ManiacClown, who tried to have me change Magneto’s rant into a different topic. No dice, my friend.

Tomorrow we’ll see Giant Man vs. the Blob. It’s really stupid.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

Ah, nothing like a major company event taking a lengthy delay to let you stretch out your legs and enjoy your vacation. Time’s up, I’m afraid and it’s time to get back on the horse. Welcome to another week of Ultimatum Edit.

The first two weeks are here and here. If you need to go back even farther, just hit the Ultimate Edit like a good kid.

I’d explain what’s gone on previously, but I’ll just let the comic explain it for me.

Thanks to ManiacClown, who has returned once again to help me co-write this. Tomorrow we’ll get some explosive action with Multiple Man.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

A couple posts down, Esther asks about what makes Azrael special. What are his selling points? Why should anyone care about the character who took the fall for one of the most infamously disliked stories in Batman’s history?

I’ll tell you why. Because deep down inside, Danny Rand wishes he was Azrael. It’s true! Don’t believe me?

And that right there is what makes Marvel and DC different. In Marvel, it’s the badass, super-rich martial arts master that wants to be Azrael and not the other way around.

Meanwhile, check back here later tonight. Our week is just beginning.

Just announced yesterday, the most metal collaboration since… shit, ever!

Wowee! Dethklok vs. the Goon!

I was born to bear witness to this comic. I bet the Goon could have killed that lake troll without the need of a cellphone.

I had been thinking about writing a review of the Watchmen movie, but if you’re anything like me, you’re sick of reading reviews. Everyone hits the same notes, pretty much. The guy playing Rorschach was great. The lady playing the first Silk Spectre was not so great. The music wasn’t incorporated very well. The sex scene went on way too long. After that, it’s just the writer’s opinion on how well it did in relation to the original material. Was it too close to the material to be good? Too far away to be good? Was it just right?

So rather than doing a full review (I liked the movie enough to see it twice. There.), I made this.

Anyway. Right now I’m in a creative tug-of-war between articles. I’ve been working on the next We Care a Lot and a review of the SNK vs. Capcom Chaos comics. It’s kind of led to a case of writer’s block, so right now I’m in the middle of working on an update for the Contents page. You know it’s been about a year to the day since I last updated that? That was when Hoatzin was still writing.

Hoatzin, what happened to you? Are you injured? Talk to meeeee!