Dictator vs. Wrestler: Vega and the Vegan

March 29th, 2012 by | Tags: , , , ,

Wrestlemania 28 is a couple days away and I feel the need to write up something on it. So let’s see… wrestling… wrestling… I could always talk about—no, I did that already. Um… Oh! I can talk about my favorite wrestler, right? Sure! Right now my favorite would probably be current World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan. Second favorite, actually, but I’ve already written at length about Mark Henry, so I’ll go with the American Dragon.

Daniel Bryan’s really come into his own as Smackdown’s top heel. He’s also garnered quite a smark following to his recent heel catchphrase. Whenever he wins, survives a match with the title or even stands in the corner during an AJ victory, he begins to loudly celebrate and scream, “YES! YES! YES! YES!”

It didn’t take long for the internet to put 2 and SF2 together by merging it with a meme about M. Bison during the Street Fighter Saturday morning cartoon from the 90’s. In a scene, Bison reacted a little too happily to seeing Guile get beaten up by a mutant and the show went to commercial on a dramatic cliffhanger of him screaming, “YES! YEEEEESSSS!” Maffew from Botchamania had his own version, but here it is simplified.

That got me thinking. The similarities between M. Bison and D-Bryan go further than that. You just have to dig deeper and see that the villain of Street Fighter and the villain of Smackdown exist more as counterparts than you’d think. For the hell of it, here are some comparisons between the two.

M. Bison was originally named Vega, but when Street Fighter 2 came to America, they had to change him to M. Bison due to legal reasons.

Daniel Bryan was born Bryan Danielson and wrestled under that name until coming to WWE. Then they changed his name so they could hold onto the marketing of his image. According to Pro Wrestling Guerrilla canon, Bryan’s true name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, which happened to be the same real name of opponent Kenny Omega.

M. Bison claims that, “This place will become your grave!”

Daniel Bryan got buried for 90% of his WWE tenure.

In Street Fighter x Tekken, M. Bison is accompanied by Juri, a pandering minx of a fighter who should by every reason want to kill him for all the abuse he’s put her through.

Daniel Bryan is accompanied by his GIRLFRIEND AJ, a pandering minx of a wrestler who should by every reason want to kill him for all the abuse he’s put her through.

In that infamous cartoon clip, M. Bison laughingly announces, “This is DELICIOUS!”

Daniel Bryan is a vegan, so he probably doesn’t have much experience with stuff being delicious. (I kid!)

M. Bison is an expert at kicking your head in while flipping forward.

Daniel Bryan is an expert at flipping backward independent to him kicking your head in.

Before matches, M. Bison shows off his badass cape.

Daniel Bryan… has this.

M. Bison gets his might from Psycho Power.

Daniel Bryan gets his might from a vegan lifestyle. They may possibly be the same thing.

M. Bison surrounds himself with mindless female clones, programmed to do his bidding.

Daniel Bryan regularly gets the attention of the Bella Twins.

M. Bison was written out of the games because they wanted a brand new cast for Street Fighter 3.

Daniel Bryan was written off TV because he got in trouble for strangling the announcer with a tie.

M. Bison heads Shadaloo, an evil organization that includes an ill-tempered boxer, a flippy pretty boy, a scary, bald man and a worthless black dude with ridiculous hair.

Daniel Bryan was in the Nexus with Michael Tarver, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield and Darren Young.

The day M. Bison visited Chun-Li’s village was the most important day of her life, but to him, it was Tuesday.

Daniel Bryan is the star of Smackdown, which is the most entertaining part of your Friday night, but it’s taped, so for him it really was Tuesday.

M. Bison was the main villain in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, which very few people saw.

Daniel Bryan wrestled Sheamus at last year’s Wrestlemania in what was turned into a dark match, meaning very few people saw it.

M. Bison came back from having a Japanese demon tear apart his very soul.

Daniel Bryan came back from having a giant Japanese baby tear apart his very retina.

M. Bison is considered top tier in Street Fighter 2: Championship Edition due to his overpowered Psycho Crusher.

Daniel Bryan was a staple in Booker T’s Fave Five. That’s high praise.

M. Bison is the antagonist to a bulky dude with weird, vertical hair.

Same deal for Daniel Bryan.

Commentary for an M. Bison match usually means some nutjob is screaming annoying lines about Pringles and R. Kelly.

Commentary for a Daniel Bryan match usually means having to put up with Michael Cole being increasingly insufferable.

M. Bison removed all the good in his soul in order to perfect himself so he can conquer the world. The goodness in his soul took human form and became Rose.

Daniel Bryan removed all the good in his soul in order to perfect himself so he can hold onto the World Heavyweight Championship. The goodness in his soul infected Brodus Clay and created the Funkasaurus gimmick. This is merely conjecture.

M. Bison crossed over into other universes, such as Marvel, SNK and Tekken.

After being fired, Daniel Bryan crossed back over to the indy wrestling universe for a little while.

M. Bison wears an alternate outfit, available as downloadable content.

Daniel Bryan wears an alternate outfit, which really should be available as downloadable content.

M. Bison may be the big villain, but he’ll always play second fiddle to Ryu vs. Ken, the battle between the hero who takes his fighting lifestyle way too seriously and his rival, who likes to hang out in California and tend to his personal life instead of dedicating his every waking moment to the fight.

Daniel Bryan is the big heel champ, but he’s overshadowed by John Cena vs. the Rock. Same deal.

M. Bison wants to rule the world.

Daniel Bryan already rules.

All that and I couldn’t come up with a single Miz joke. Go figure.

Enjoy Wrestlemania, folks!

Similar Posts:

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook Post to Reddit Post to StumbleUpon

11 comments to “Dictator vs. Wrestler: Vega and the Vegan”

  1. This is the greatest article ever written.

  2. :crossarms: :damn:


    Translation: I absolutely loved this article and laughed many a time.

  4. How long until the SSF4 modding community makes a Daniel Bryan model for Vega/bison?

  5. If THQ does indeed go under (as rumored), I secretly hope Capcom picks up the WWE license. Articles like this are the reason why.

  6. Come to think of it, Juri is like…. Dark Side of the force Chun-Li. The main bad killed her parents and even tore her eye out, but instead of seeking justice becomes corrupted as well. Also, bracelets and kicks and funny hair.

    Good article, I should read your old WM countdown series as well this time of year.

  7. As for the Brodus/Rose conjecture, that’s an interesting theory.

    Brodus dances with two divas in his entrance, after all. During his face days, Bryan did this


  8. Well, Bison never jobbed out in less than 20 seconds like Bryan did.

  9. @MegaSpiderMan: Oh, I beg to differ.

  10. @ Gavok

    Well yeah, but didn’t Capcom say that isn’t what actually happened?

  11. @MegaSpiderMan: It still happened, they just retconned in for SF4 such that Bison’s soul was able to go to another body afterwards.

    As such, both Bryan and Bison jobbed in record time to monsters with spiky red hair. Hopefully, as Bison did, Bryan will come back from it even stronger than ever.