Archive for March, 2009


Ultimatum Edit Week 3: Day Seven

March 27th, 2009 Posted by Gavok

Another fun-filled week comes to a close. Last time, Hank Pym blew himself up to save the SHIELD folks. None of this would have happened if they remembered Ultimate Captain Marvel exists. There’s a joke in there about Pym committing suicide because he saw that his Janet-less self leads to Dan Slott’s Mighty Avengers, but I… oh, wait. I just made the joke. Carry on.

Let’s finish this off with the Ultimates.

Wow, that’s not a very impressive line-up for the Ultimates. Two of them just died, one of them is dying and the other one wants to die.

Hope you enjoyed this week’s run. ManiacClown and I had a blast. I’m going to be gone for the next few days thanks to the CHIKARA King of Trios tournament in Philly, but I’ll be back with more of that Venom garbage people seem to enjoy. In the meantime, enjoy the usual set of words from hermanos and Esther.

Week 4!

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What do you think about Wednesday Comics?

March 26th, 2009 Posted by Esther Inglis-Arkell

And now for something completely different.

DC has just announced a new weekly.  It’ll be oversized, sixteen pages, and feature one-page stories about all kinds of different DCU characters.  There will be the typical characters like Batman and Superman but Wednesday Comics, the title of the weekly, will also bring all of DC’s obscure characters into the limelight.

The thing about me is I hate and fear change.  I’m also not a fan of disorder, and I know these things won’t fit in my long-boxes.  And yet, I cannot resist this.  Standalone stories.  Random characters.  I’m there.


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DC Stays Losing

March 26th, 2009 Posted by david brothers

Dwayne McDuffie: I wrote a scene set at their gravesite that I recently had to quickly rewrite into something not very good.

Matthew Murray: Do you actually enjoy writing JLA? It just seems to be constant editorial rewrites and bad art.

McDuffie: No, I don’t.

To be honest, I wouldn’t like writing JLA either if I was paired up with an artist with zero storytelling skills, multiple tie-ins and interruptions due to crossovers or just editorial mandate (no one but Dan Jurgens cares about Tangent Comics, DC), and having to clean up Brad “Write First, Think Later” Meltzer’s crappy subplots.

I think back to this, back when I was excited, and this, when the shine first started wearing off, and then this, coming a year later, in which I don’t even want to read a series I was hyped for and features characters I love because I know it’s going to be subpar.

I said it in 2007:

Step 1: Hire a quality writer, one known for doing right by your characters.
Step 2: Pair him up with a T&A artist or two, neither of whom are known for their ability to convey emotions beyond Angry, Shocked, and Aroused.
Step 3: Hamstring the writer by making him tie into your crappy stories that have nothing to do with the book he’s writing.

Turns out I was right.

Well done, DC Comics.

(thread on McDuffie’s forum here, via the new scans daily)

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Ultimatum Edit Week 3: Day Six

March 26th, 2009 Posted by Gavok

Yesterday’s installment featured Thor and Captain America talking about financing or whatever, followed by Iron Man and Ms. Less-Than-Marvel taking on Multiple Man. Then an arrow shot out. Who could it possibly be?!

In Ultimate X-Men #100, they killed off Ultimate Madrox, so in one fell swoop we get rid of the Matrix and Rocky Horror jokes. Due to the latter, ManiacClown is currently inconsolable.

Join us tomorrow as we close out yet another week.

Day Seven!

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Oracle: The Cure #1

March 25th, 2009 Posted by Esther Inglis-Arkell

Reading about Oracle always tangles me up in logistical questions.  Does second-life work like that?  Can a guy really open up a wall in a game?  When a woman screams in real life, does it make any sense at all that her avatar starts screaming, too?  Because I think she would be too busy screaming to tell her character to scream.  Then again, maybe it’s pre-programmed that they scream under certain circumstances.

And how does one explode a human head, anyway?  I first thought it would happen with an explosive device, but that couldn’t happen unless said device were pre-planted in said head.  The second idea was heating up the liquid inside the skull with microwaves, but it seems like that would get the excess liquid to bubble out the eyes and nasal cavities.  Unless it happened fast enough to heat the liquid instantly, which brings us back to an explosive device.

While I may not be much of a second-lifer or skull-exploder, I do know my Babsology, and more importantly, my superheroes.  The series is called The Cure.  The first issue chronicles the villain’s desperate, yet evil, attempts to save his desperately ill daughter.  It also makes much of the hero’s misery over her grievous injury.  Babs is going to have to choose whether to heal the girl or heal herself.  Being a hero, she’s going to heal the girl.  There is a way that set-ups like these go.  In fact, this is the way that this set-up has already gone in Birds of Prey.

And so, of course, I’m hoping it goes the other way.  Part of this is because of my shameless bias for Batgirl Babs.  Part of it – let’s say that I’ve had it up to here with stories that come complete with forgone conclusions.  My heart drops a bit each time I see summaries that go along the lines of:  “Will Batman kill the Joker this time?”  “Is this the end for Lois and Clark?”  “Is Batman dead?”  The answer is always ‘no.’  Always.  Without exception.  We know it the moment we pick up the solicit.

This time, I’m hoping for a surprise.

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Ultimatum Edit Week 3: Day Five

March 25th, 2009 Posted by Gavok

And we return. As you may recall, the last installment had the X-Men being dysfunctional as always. Then we saw Thor and Captain America fight side-by-side against the Army of Darkness in order to save the life of Valkyrie.

In terms of cutting room floor jokes, ManiacClown wanted to have Danvers complain that she can accept being killed by Magneto or Doom, but not a C-lister like Multiple Man. Then after a series of shots, “BLAM! D-lister. BLAM! E-lister. BLAM!”

Tomorrow we have… Okay, let me break it down for you. The first issue had a variant cover of Dazzler. The second one had a variant cover of Xavier. We saw what happened with those two. This issue’s variant has Yellowjacket. You know you want to read tomorrow’s update.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

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This Trope Has Got To Stop

March 24th, 2009 Posted by Esther Inglis-Arkell

I just saw the preview for Justice League 31 on the IGN website, and something in it really bothered me.  This something has been bothering me for a while in comics.

Dinah decks Ollie, her husband, because he embarrassed her.  It isn’t playful roughhousing, or a light smack on the shoulder, or even a slap.  She punches him, and he gets up and says that he deserved it.  Then Hal Jordan, Ollie’s friend, says that he deserved a lot more than that.  Then they go on with the discussion.




No, no, no, no, no.

Let’s run that the other way.  Ollie comes up to Dinah and punches her in the face hard enough that she’s knocked to the ground.  When she gets up, he tells her that he punched her because she’s his wife and she embarrassed him.  Do you think there is a chance in hell that she’d agree?  Or that her friends would also agree and the discussion would go on?  No.  Ollie would go the way of Hank Pym.  He’d get thrown out, beaten up, and his character would be marked as a disgrace for the foreseeable future.

This isn’t Batman and Catwoman fighting because they’re on different sides of the law.  It isn’t the friendly wrestling matches, or even the full-on fights that we see between vigilantes when things get heated.  This is one spouse, in this case the more highly trained martial artist, beating another spouse for not toeing the line.  This has happened before with Ollie and Dinah.  This is not okay.  This needs to stop.

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Ultimatum Edit Week 3: Day Four

March 24th, 2009 Posted by Gavok

As we last left our Ultimate heroes, Yellowjacket bit off the Blob’s head out of revenge and Wolverine found Nightcrawler lying amongst the poo-gas. Now we continue with the X-Men and see what Thor and Captain America are up to.

Those X-Men sure don’t give a shit about the millions of other people who died. Muties are so elitist. Yeah, I said it.

Thanks to ManiacClown for the usual assistance. I really only mention his name and bold it out out of habit these days. Maniac Clown, dudes.

Tomorrow we’ll get more Thor fun as well as Multiple Man.

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

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Great Moments in Black History #02: Right is Right

March 23rd, 2009 Posted by david brothers

tna-22-006.jpg tna-22-007.jpg tna-22-008.jpg tna-22-009.jpg tna-22-010.jpg tna-22-021.jpg
art from marvel’s new avengers: civil war. words by bendis!, art by leinil yu

(the trade isn’t 100% cage. it’s made up of one-shot issues featuring a specific avengers in the setting of civil war. it’s easily the highlight of the crossover, and the only part of CW that i still own.)

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Ultimatum Edit Week 3: Day Three

March 23rd, 2009 Posted by Gavok

Back for round three.

Yesterday we had Magneto strangle Mystique and then throw a rogue Madrox dupe out the window, where he promptly exploded. I hope they weren’t really in space or else he’d have just doomed them all. What an anti-climax that would be. Even still, by tossing Madrox out the window, Magneto’s letting all the heat out.

Now it’s time for some Yellowjacket and Hawkeye action. It’s best to remember exactly what gruesome sight they’re following up on.

ManiacClown wanted me to fit in a Bad Taste reference in regards to the first page, but only after the fact did he realize he meant Dead Alive. That scamp.

Isn’t it kind of convenient that Pym keeps his special technology to save Janet’s life in the Triskelion rather than the now-destroyed building where his lab was and he was under house arrest in?

Tomorrow we get more X-Men drama. Whee.

Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

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