Basically, this is a pretty good way to show that retcons are pretty much a lame storytelling device. Nine times out of ten, it’s just another way of saying, “Welp, we screwed up and we don’t want to have to deal with the consequences.” Sometimes it’s something like, “We need this character to be in this position for this story to work and don’t want to do the in-betweening.”

Retcons can be used well, but by and large, they are about sidestepping consequences. Hal Jordan murdered a whole bunch of people, and so far, it seems like his punishment is to get called a stupid earthman and sneered at once every eight months or so. Why? Because he’s Hal Jordan, Hero, and DC Comics needed him to be a Green Lantern for some reason. Sinestro? He ain’t dead! Why, he faked his death! Why? Because Hal Jordan needs Sinestro as a villain. Jean Grey isn’t dead, she’s just in the bottom of a bay. Why? Because we need a team featuring the original X-Men. Prometheus? He hasn’t been looking like a buffoon all over the DC Universe for years. He’s been all locked up, who is that other guy? He’s just some guy who acts just like him, has the same gimmick, costume, personality, and powers.

This is stupid. There’s dozens of other ways to get around Prometheus being an idiot. Faulty tech. A deep-seated fear of Batman (it worked for Deadshot). Slumming it and trying to stay off the radar. Anything but “it wasn’t him, nope.”

That’s just lazy.

Kyle Baker gets it.

The internet went from a weird thing nerds used to do whatever it is nerds do to being a day-to-day part of all of our lives. The best place to put something where somebody can find it is online, so he put the first issue of his mean, beautiful, amazing, heartbreaking, and totally 100% worthwhile comic book about the war in Iraq online for free.

Go and read it.

Last year, I did a series of posts during Black History Month, one post a day for the entire month of Feb. It brought in the hits, but didn’t necessarily generate a lot of off-site commentary, which is what I would’ve liked to have seen.

Regardless, it was a hard and enjoyable experience, and I’d like to do it again this year. I don’t want to repeat msyelf or step on my own toes, however, so I’m putting it to you– what do you want to see me talk about? Have book/creator/topic suggestions? Are there any dumb questions that need answering? Things that need to be talked about? Nothing’s too dumb or out there. Drop me a comment or throw me an email and let me know what you want to see. If you can link this around, that’d be great, too.

The things you learn when you mess around with the subtitles on your Batman: The Animated Series DVDs.

Although in Spanish, Batman is still called Batman, Bruce Wayne’s name has changed to Bruno Díaz.

I’m guessing this is an across-the-board name change, and not just a blip for the animated series.  Does anyone know why it was necessary?  Does ‘Bruce Wayne’ mean ‘Your mother’s a whore,’ in Spanish?

This week gave us the final issue of Marvel Zombies 3, written by Fred Van Lente with art by Kev Walker. Despite the history of the series, I still have to say… this is totally worth reading.

I’m not joking. It’s actually really fun.

The first Marvel Zombies was decent. Not great, but it was a good enough read just because Kirkman had so many toys to play with. He had an entire universe to desecrate as he saw fit. Marvel Zombies: Dead Days was a boring disaster of a prequel that barely answered any of the questions brought up in Marvel Zombies. Marvel Zombies vs. Army of Darkness was better than it had any right to be. And Marvel Zombies 2? Oy.

With Marvel Zombies 2, Kirkman had done away with all of his unending potential, replaced with five issues of writing himself into a corner. I enjoy Kirkman’s work, so I stuck with it just to see where it was leading, but the ending was underwhelming as hell. Finally, even I was done with the series.

Thomas Wilde suggested I give Marvel Zombies 3 a shot based on the first issue. I’m glad I took him up on that. They’ve moved in a very different direction that brings back the potential for fun and over-the-top stories of mayhem. How? By bringing it into Marvel 616.

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Sometimes you’re on your computer, you’re not going anywhere, and you just want to yack about a comic with people.

Go below the cut to start flapping your fingers about Secret Six.  Don’t click if you don’t want to get, as the kids say, ‘spoiled.’

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This is from Haunted Tank #2, words by Frank Marraffino, art by Henry Flint:

I was going to review it, but I got a surprising message from a fan of 4l! who beat me to the punch. Prince, how did you feel about the issue, and this page in particular?

Ouch.

Between enduring the holidays and following it up with Ultimatum Edit, I’ve been a bit exhausted. That’s why I haven’t been doing any updates. Luckily, hermanos has been doing well enough. Esther too, though hermanos has to overshadow her posts with comments that are twice as long. Jerk.

Oh, hey! The new What If issues came out over the past month. Not a great batch this year, but there were two really good issues in there. One is What If: Newer Fantastic Four, which is a sequel to the Mike Wieringo tribute, also featuring the Mini-Marvels conclusion to World War Hulk. Even better is the issue that came out last week, based on Doctor Doom holding onto the Beyonder’s power from Secret Wars. Beautiful art and a perfect ending.

When I finish the We Care a Lot series, I think I’m going to redo the Top 100 What If Countdown. Enough has come out since then to justify it.

We Care a Lot is on a slight hiatus. Nothing too drastic. After all, I need to get my installment about Hybrid up for Black History Month. It’s just that I’ve been spending the past week or so getting ready for another series of articles.

You see, hermanos just did his whole rap countdown. It wasn’t comic-related. So if he’s doing his series of non-comic countdown articles, then damn it, so will I!

It’s coming.

One last thing, I’m going to be checking out all three days of New York Comic Con. Which of yous guys can I expect to see there?

The guy who got shot in that video? Unarmed, pleading for his life, and trying to tell the cop who shot him that he has a four year old daughter.

It’s 2009.

(via the smoking section)

E-friends Laura Hudson and Leigh Walton are launching Cerebus: A Diablog sometime this week. They’re smart and cool people, and I’ve never read Cerebus, so I’m definitely interested.

There is an LL Cool J joke in there somewhere, but I don’t have the energy to make it.