Yep. It’s already time for another interview, this time with an honest-to-Gog comic fan. First, I should point out that it’s been a while since I’ve done any articles that compare the CHIKARA DVD covers to their comic book counterparts, but I should be getting around to that next week. I hope.

In the meantime, check out this awesome cover of Café Culture, featuring Claudio Castagnoli.

Obviously, that’s based on the comic cover where… uh… Despero was… er… enjoying a cup of coffee. Yeah.

…………

So! This time I get to interview Shayne Hawke, a charismatic youngster in the CHIKARA ranks with a lot going for him. He’s entered in this weekend’s Young Lions Cup 6 tournament, convinced he’s going to make it to the end and acquire the championship trophy. Meanwhile, he and his raspy mentor Mitch Ryder have won three tag matches in a row, thereby earning them a title shot against the tag champs Delirious and Hallowicked.

Shayne Hawke agreed to meet me up on the 4th Letter Helicarrier for an interview, mainly as an excuse to keep his pale hide out of the sun for a few minutes. I mean, that’s not what he told me, but I got that vibe just from looking at him. Anyway, the interview.

—————-

Mr. Hawke, you’ve been given many names in your stint as a wrestler. You’ve been called Superstar. You’ve been called the Red Romeo. You’ve been called Ultimate Darin Corbin. If you can pull off winning both the Young Lions Cup and the Campeonatos de Parejas, how many more nicknames can we expect?

– I like Mr. Hawke; it’s how every wrestling fan should address me. I’m good with the nicknames I’ve got now; in the new edition of Webster’s Dictionary the definition of “Awesome” is going to be Shayne Hawke, baby. If you really want to compliment me though, you can just call me Mini-Mitch.

You got your start in the business at 14-years-old, an age where I was just learning to tie my shoes correctly. That’s pretty impressive. How did all that come to be?

– Tying your shoes at 14, really? Way to carry on the stereotype that wrestling fans are stupid, pal. That story really isn’t as impressive as the outcome. First comes the cliché about being a wrestling fan my whole life; I used to watch growing up with my late Grandfather Sammy. Some of my first memories are wrestling related. Getting away from tangents and anecdotes, my big sister Shanna took me to my very first indy show at age 14, for the MWF (Montreal Wrestling Federation); the main event was Fred La Merveille vs Damian (yes, that Damian) vs Stevie McFly (who I believe is retired now, which is a shame, because he would have been one of the world’s top indy flyers IMO). I was stoked on wrestling and had to be a part of it; I helped set up chairs, the ring, whatever. Shanna introduced me to Beef Wellington, who was trainer at the IWS training school. I signed up, and brought Mommy and Daddy to the facility to meet & greet. Mommy and Daddy were not thrilled to find that the facility was a porn studio. Yep. Anyways I trained, and had my first match at 14-years-old in beautiful Valleyfield Quebec.

Rooks of Chikarafans. com would like to know: why are you so amazing?

– Why is the sky blue? It happens naturally. (Anyone mention, “uh, ‘cuz it’s a reflection of the ocean,” and everyone gets a stunner.)

Like you have the gas money to make that happen. After interviewing guys like Osirian Portal and UltraMantis-Black-pretending-to-be-Tim-dONST, it’s good to finally talk to somebody who actually reads comics for once. You’d think those supervillain types would at least try it out for the “doomed to repeat history” aspect of it all. Anyway, what are you currently reading these days?

– I’m currently following… sheesh, here we go. Both Avengers books, Initiative (Trauma = Vin Gerard, right?), Fables, Jack of Fables, Walking Dead, Logan, everything X-Men because I’m kinda digging where they’re going with it, Final Crisis I just bought the first issue, Captain America I get the first day it comes out, I can’t get enough of BUCTAIN AMERICKY, Batman Detective, regular Batman, Thunderbolts, JSA, that House of Mystery gimmick was awesome, Wolvie Origins, Batman Confidential, GL Corps, Project Superpowers, The Twelve…yeah, I read a lot. I’m also reading Y the Last Man (no spoilers, not done) and Preacher (ditto) in trades.

Other than CHIKARA, where else can somebody see you wrestle?

– Somebody can see me at the IWS, C4 wrestling, a great new fed in the Ottowa area, and I usually do commentary on a match or two for INTER SPECIES WRESTLING~! Anyone who wants to book me though…(HINT HINT) can contact me via MySpace. DO IT! I draw like a number 2 pencil, baby.

A bunch of readers wanted me to ask, “What the hell is the deal with that tattoo?” but I thought I’d just pull that question aside and use it for the eventual Icarus interview. I have better questions at my disposal anyway. For instance, would you want to see another X-Men movie sequel if it meant Mitch Ryder getting to play the role of Cable?

– Man, enough with the tattoo questions. Go read my MySpace page. It’s the flag of Scotland and has a story behind it, which I’m not sharing, because I’m a jerk and a bad person. Kthxbai. Anyways, anything involving Mr. Ryder gets two thumbs WAY up from the SuperStar.

DJ Hyde is like “Aw, man. Mitch is back from the future again.”

Which is a bigger thrill: holding a victory over Demolition Smash or holding a victory over the Repo Man?

– Neither; holding a victory of Barry “Hole in One” Darsow. Wait, when did I wrestle the Repo Man?

HAWKE SMASH!

If you started up a rock band and had to name it after a comic book storyline, what would it be called?

– Mitch Is Awesome, or M.I.A. If that isn’t a comic book storyline, it should be.

Come on. The true answer is “Demon in a Bottle”. Or “Kree-Skrull War” if you’re a death metal group.

mikeh of Chikarafan. com would like to know: why are you so amazing?

– Refer to above.

What, the thing about the tattoo? I don’t get… never mind. How has your relationship been with the equally marvelous Larry Sweeney? I’ve noticed some friction between you guys lately. In fact, and I don’t want to start anything here, but with you going for so many titles at the moment, a shot at the ICW/ICWA Tex Arcana Television Title is always a possibility to add to the pile. It’s a harmless thought.

– Hey, it’s a harmless thought. Look, nobody can take away from Sweet ‘N’ Sour; my GOODNESS is he a good looking man. He also does an excellent fist drop. I mean, look, I don’t want to point any fingers, but I’m not the one who let the team down in our past 3 trios matches. That’s all I’m saying. Sweet ‘N’ Sour is one of the top grapplers in the world today and I’m honored to have him as my peer.

Speaking of Larry Sweeney, in the first round of Young Lions Cup, you face off against Bobby Dempsey. What could your strategies possibly be against a creature that size other than “crossing the streams”?

– I have no idea what that means. What strategy do I need? You take a look at the biceps I’m packin’, son? I’m surprised they even let me cross the border without a weapon liscence!

See, my personal strategy would be to tie a cable around his legs like in Empire Strikes Back.

Which is worse, Ultimates 3 or that Brand New Day crap?

– I’m not reading Ultimates 3 until the trade. BND/OMD; I don’t even want to talk about. It makes me so angry.

Even though you and Mitch Ryder are up for a title shot against the tag champs, the team of Hydra and Tim dONST appear to get the shot first. Which team would you rather have to go up against?

– I really don’t care. Mitch and I are more than happy to lay down a beating on any team dumb enough to get into the ring with us. I’ve destroyed Donst before and Hydra? Well, Shayne Hawke is an avid consumer of sea food; he’ll go the way of his fellow creatures of the deep. As for Incoherence; they’re marked men either way. They’re punks, pal, nothing but; I bet Delirious was one of those skateboard hoodlums growing up and I bet Hallowicked has egged half the houses in “Sleepy Hollow”. Punks like them two, they gotta learn respect and The Marvelous One and I are gonna be more than happy to give them a lesson in Southern Discipline.

I’m sure Delirious was the kind of hoodlum that ate skateboards growing up. But I digress.

See? The eye switches, just like the comics. He’s perfect for the role!

Which wrestlers out there really grind your gears?

– That Quackenbush guy, don’t even get me started, with his quirks and his never ending amount of armdrags. Player Uno and Stupified… If I could tell Nick Fury someone on this planet was a Skrull, it would be those two. Who do you trust?! And heck, Incoherence! See above!

What, the part about the tattoo again? Because I–

– While we’re at it, let me throw out Claudio Castagnoli, for breaking up the Kings of Wrestling. That group was Mitch Ryder’s brainchild and I don’t like when people mess with Mitch Ryder. Really, the only people who don’t bug me are Mitch, Sweeney, F.I.S.T (<3 Icarus), The Osirian Portal and Derek Sabato.

Now that Dave Coulier has been named Commissioner in CHIKARA, do you have any intention of “cutting it out” within the rest of 2008?

– I have two dogs named Shelby and Berry. They’re adorable, thanks for asking!

BLCKOUT2.0 from Chikarafans. com would like to know: how did you get so awesome?

– W.W.M.M.R.D. – there’s the formula, kids. Learn it; study it.

What’s a kind of question I could ask that would get you so angry that you’d leave this interview in a—actually, scratch that. Here’s a question for you. What bet did you lose to make you wear that awful design for your wrestling tights?

– Go play in traffic.

—————-

And so I did! But I got bored and just went back indoors where the air-conditioning was.

Thanks to Mr. Hawke for his time. He and a whole lot of other violent guys in tights can be seen this weekend at Young Lions Cup 6, CHIKARA’s final hurrah at Hellertown, PA.

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Posted in 4thletter exclusives, Chikara, Wrestlecomics by Gavok |