I learned the word “feeble,” and also “feeb,” from X-Men comics.

That wasn’t very funny after all, was it?

I love those words that comics writers used back in the day when they had to play it safe with dialogue. Can you imagine saying, “Hey, frail! Get over here!” and a woman actually getting upset and infuriated enough to hit you with the focused totality of her psychic powers (awourrg) instead of, say, laughing in your face like would happen these days?

I wish someone, somewhere, had documented all those ridiculous ’80s phrases. Claremont alone could fill half a dictionary.

from marvel comics’s truth: red, white, and black by bob morales and kyle baker

Black history is American history.

Getting love from the Scans_Daily crew, it’s the final installment of Ultimate Edit Week 3. Yesterday we saw Iron Man show off the magic Wanda-killing bullet to Wasp, right after everyone left for the Savage Land. So, what now?

(You really should read yesterday’s last page before continuing here.)

If you have any of those songs stuck in your head now, I consider this a job well done. ManiacClown will join me again the next time an issue drops, but in the meantime, I’ll still be around writing my usual brand of blogduggery. I have a handful of articles that are just sitting there, half done. I really should do something about that.

Thanks for reading.

Ultimate Edit Week 4!
Ultimate Edit Week 5

Sorry, these aren’t comics at all, but these things happen. You can live it or you can live with it!

As we last left our heroes, Wolverine finally shut the hell up and Wasp came up with a plan. They would try to sneak into the Savage Land to surprise a bunch of villains who have every reason to expect them coming. Brilliant.

Admittedly, not too many jokes this time around. For once, we’re actually getting plot progression here. Shocking, I know.

If that first page offended you, send all your hatemail to ManiacClown. Not that I’m going to give you his email, since I’ve grown to like the guy.

Tomorrow is the last three pages with a yawn-inducing cliffhanger. See you then.

Day Seven!

Welcome back, friends. Last time we met, Wolverine talked about meeting Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, followed by his ordered attempt to kill the latter. Then dinosaurs happened. Thankfully, we’re about done with his endless flashback.

That line at the end of the second page? I think we have a new 4th Letter tagline.

This is the part of the article where I give a token mention to ManiacClown for the assist. More tomorrow, as Iron Man and Black Panther show up for a spell.

Day Six!
Day Seven!

art from dc comics’s mister miracle. words by grant morrison, art by freddie williams ii

This is an easy one: hope.

There is nothing that cannot be fixed. There is nothing that cannot be turned around and made better. There is no problem that is unsolvable. Anything can be done.

Pessimism isn’t the answer. It’ll get you nowhere but unsurprised and depressed. The majority of problems aren’t done on purpose. There isn’t a secret conspiracy of people out to get you or hurt you. It’s just ignorance (in the purest sense of the word) and non-thinking.

The answer is speaking. Education. Each one, reach one. Each one, teach one.

You gotta work to fix things. Working is worth it.

Time once again for another three pages of Ultimate Edit. Last time we checked in, Wolverine bragged about getting some witch booty. Now let’s go forward one generation.

Sorry for the pun on page two. I had to get that joke out of my system.

Thanks to ManiacClown for the help and thanks to muscles like this? for getting this stuff linked on Something Awful. In the next installment, I promise we’ll actually have scenes dedicated to the Ultimates. You remember them? The guys this comic was named after?

Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!