Something to think about for Christmas…
December 25th, 2007 by Gavok | Tags: heroes for hire, iron fist, luke cageDespite being a millionaire who knows 4,103 ways to kill a man, I feel sorry for Iron Fist around this time of year. Think about it. His partner Luke Cage probably has a stocking the size of a horse’s head. But what about Danny? How many gifts can you possibly fit in a tiny, little, yellow ballet slipper? You can try to prop up a candy cane or two, but they’ll probably fall out of it by morning. And candy canes aren’t even all that good.
To add to the Heroes for Hire/Christmas humor, try to imagine Cage and Iron Fist singing We’re a Couple of Misfits from Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer.
“We’re a couple of misfits!
We’re a couple of misfits!
What’s the matter with misfits?
That’s where we fit in!”
“So why are you a misfit again, Danny?”
“Everybody makes fun of me because my fist glows. And also because of my shoes. And the rest of my costume. And my name. But mainly the costume. You?”
“I’m a misfit because I want to be a dentist.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, well… All right. Not exactly a dentist, you see. I just wanna knock fools’ teeth out.”
“I… uh… Luke, I don’t know if that qualifies you as a misfit. Wait, you are black, right? That should count for something!”
“……”
“What? Why are you cracking your knuckles?”
“Danny, it’s time for your appointment. Let me take a look at your molars… bouncing off the wall.”
Merry Christmas, folks.
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I like to imagine Danny as Scrooge, and Luke as a Marley/Cratchett mix. I guess he gets really into the “For Hire” part or something, and it takes White Tiger as the Past Ghost, Clint Barton for the Present Ghost, and an alt. future Daredevil or someone for the Future to shake him out of it.
This is pretty fun. Try it at home, kids! I’ll start you off with other good Scrooges: Amanda Waller, Magneto, Doc Doom, Sinestro, pre-IC Batman (thank me later, Grant), Jenkins written post-CW Iron Man, Guy Gardner, Deadpool, and of course… JLI-era Booster Gold cruelly mistreats Skeets Cratchet, is visited by the spirit of Goldstar, and meets the Three Ghosts of Blue Beetle. Whereupon much fiddling about in the timestream occurs.
Um, I guess finished that last one too…
you guys are ultro-nerds!!!!!!!! keep it up.