X-Men Dream Team

June 30th, 2006 by | Tags: , , ,

So, Ed Brubaker and Mike Carey are taking over the main X-books over the next few weeks. I’m pretty stoked for them, because I do so love both authors. Brubaker, when given proper freedom (Sleeper, not War Games or whatever), can spin words into gold and Mike Carey managed to follow up the best writer ever (Brian Azzarello) on Hellblazer with a worthy run.

Funny thing, though. Their X-teams? Totally bizarre. Brubaker’s team is composed of Nightcrawler, Marvel Girl, Havok, Warpath, Professor X, Polaris, and Darwin from the end of Deadly Genesis. Prof X will probably show up, too. Carey’s team is Rogue, Iceman, Cable, Cannonball, Mystique, Sabretooth, and probably more to come. Northstar and his sister (what was her name? I never liked Alpha Flight, anyway) were mentioned as being involved, too.

My general response after I heard about these teams was “Wha-huh?” I’m down, though, because both authors are quality. Brubaker is already looking to surpass Bendis on Daredevil, and his work on Cap is tops. Carey is also going to do killer work on Ult Fantastic Four once Millar and Land are done with it.

Now, this got me to thinking. What’s my dream X-team? A friend and I discussed this a lot a while back. Actually, I’ve discussed this with almost every comics-reading friend that I have. It’s part of the normal fanboying that comics fans get into, I think, along with whether or not Cap could beat Batman (yes, he could, prep-time or no). So, my pick for X-teams…

(no pictures on this one. it’s late, and i promise I’ll give you some multimedia next time)

I’d go with three teams. The superheroes, the strike force, and the “yer dead, mate” force.

The X-Men!
Cyclops, Beast, Angel (or is he back to being Archangel?), Rogue, Kitty Pryde, Iceman, and Marvel Girl II.

This is the show team. The “face” of the X-Men. When you want to send somebody out against a super threat, this is who you would send. They’ve all got tons of combat experience, and some serious heavy-hitters in the form of Iceman, Cyclops, and Marvel Girl II. Magneto attacking NYC again? Light him up.

Strike Force X!
Cable, Sage, Bishop, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Gambit, Mystique, and Psylocke.

Sage would play the role of Oracle, while Cable is the Commander in Chief. Bishop is a battlefield general, while the rest have shown remarkable talents in stealth or a willingness to kill the life out of you if you step wrongly. Nightcrawler is invisible when in shadows, Gambit is the fast-talker of choice and shows a great talent for improvisation/lying to your face, Wolverine is a noted tracker and murderer, Mystique is extremely talented at subterfuge, and Psylocke has (had?) the telepathy to make you see what she wants, in addition to crazy implanted ninja skills. When someone steps out of line and a frontal attack is out of the question, you send in this team. They will kill the target dead, or maybe take him hostage with no problem at all. This is the X-Men’s Dirty Tricks division.

Quicksilver may or may not be a member of this squad, but his speed would be an asset. Fantomex would hang out the headquarters and second-guess everyone in his faux-French for kicks, and maybe go out when it suited him. Forge is their weaponsmaster, and Madrox is used when brute force is necessary. Domino would possibly also be a regular member, since her power is basically “I win at the select screen.”

Wanderer notes that basically any member of X-Force would be good on this team. He’s absolutely right, from Cannonball to Sunspot to Rictor to Meltdown (Boom Boom ahahahaha) on down.

Jean Grey, Storm, Polaris, Havok

Note that this is the team that will make normal villains evolve the “crap a brick” tertiary mutation on sight. Jean Grey can both disable you molecule by molecule, or maybe turn you into someone else entirely if she so chooses. Storm is self-explanatory. Hard men turn soft when faced with eighteen tornadoes dropping out of the sky onto their base. Polaris can take all the iron in your blood and shift it one foot to the left, turning you into something resembling a bit of raw meat, and Havok can burn you, your hide-out, and the county your hide-out was in to a crisp in a matter of seconds.

When you want the Shi’ar, Skrulls, and Kree to all get off your doorstep and stop playing that danged loud music, you send in these kids. Jean Grey could probably be this team all by her lonely, but that’s no fun for anyone else.

What’s yours?

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7 comments to “X-Men Dream Team”

  1. I’m crossing my fingers Marrow eventually returns, and that depowering thing was not true. She’s got plenty of experience in stealth and, arguabally, guerilla warfare, and can generate weapons and armor from her body. Although the caviet is finding a good place for her – not apocalyptic for the third team, position pretty much filled in the second, might be too vitriolic for the first one, but she’d be a good wild card.

    I haven’t followed X-Men for a while, so my team wouldn’t be too extensive. I can only think of Domino and Marrow (for battle experience, weapondry close and range); Dead Girl (a “zombie” that could reform and control dismembered parts, and talk to the dead? Very helpful); Cannonball and Beast.

  2. I take it you’re talking about any X-men from past to present?

    I agree with your division, but think there could only be two kinds of teams, the face superhero team and the down-and-dirty espionage team (sorta like JLA and JLElite):

    My “superheroes” team would consist of the known faces: Cyclops, Archangel, Beast, Havok, Storm, Colossus, Jean Grey or Rachel Grey (Marvel Girl II), Siryn, and Cannonball. All have better “images” than their colleagues… though you may present the argument that all X-men have killed or turned villain at least once during their stay on the team.

    Down-and-dirty team would consist of Wolverine, Gambit, Cable, Bishop, Sage, Nightcrawler, Rogue, Psylocke and Kitty Pride (Shadow Cat). Nightcrawler’s the moral center, Cable and Bishop the field commanders. I’m placing Shadow Cat here because her abilities are really the best for espionage than superheroics.

    I don’t really buy Mystique ever joining the X-men teams. She’s too willful for that.

  3. Mark: I dunno. I could see Mystique joining the X-teams if he suited her purposes. She’s willful, but she’s also manipulative.

    Kind of like Pete Milligan’s last arc on X-Men. She joined up specifically to keep an eye on Rogue and Gambit and do her best to split them up.

    JLG: I’ve never been a Marrow fan, but you make a good point. I think she’d fit in my second team as part of Madrox’s brute force contingent. She’d be a good soldier.

  4. So, is Professor X in Brubaker’s team or not? `.`

  5. I do not know, because the issue isn’t out, but I’m thinking yes.

  6. My x-men dream team would be

    Jean Grey
    Kitty Pryde

    Why Jubilee? She makes the other characters seem more badass.

  7. Oh and add xavier with jim lee art sick….