30 Things I Currently Enjoy About WWE

January 24th, 2012 by | Tags: ,

About nine months ago, shortly after a really depressingly bad Wrestlemania and the infamous Christian two-day title run, I was ready to stop watching WWE completely. Everything good was being drowned out by bad writing, terrible Superman booking for Cena and Orton and some masturbatory patting of the back about how great the Attitude Era guys were. Though the morbid part of me does find that Wrestlemania funny for getting to see John Morrison commit career suicide live on PPV.

After Christian dropped the title, I decided that I’d give WWE one more week to hold my attention. R-Truth’s heel turn was the only major thing keeping me amused by that point. It ended up being a good thing that I gave WWE a little slack because that led to CM Punk taking the company by storm and the infinitely good Money in the Bank show. Then things started to get a little awkward, with pieces of brilliance in there. Unfortunately, Triple H and Kevin Nash felt the need to interrupt the angle of the year so they could enjoy the spotlight. It was like the bombing scene at the end of Jarhead with the Clique as the asshole commander. I was able to hang onto my love for everything Mark Henry to keep me going and over the past couple months I’ve found the company to be in a pretty good place. There’s been improvement all over the place. I’m feeling pretty positive, especially as they move into Wrestlemania season.

They say that if you have nothing nice to say, you should say nothing at all. Not like that’s ever stopped me, but as it is right now, I have 30 nice things to say about the current state of the WWE. Here are the things I dig in no particular order.

1) The Return and Trolling of Chris Jericho

I mean, this one goes without saying. I have no idea where they’re going with this angle outside of a possible Jericho vs. Punk match at Wrestlemania, but I know they can pull it off. Why? Because Jericho is pretty well-liked by the higher ups and I’m sure he has a lot of creative control in this. One of the things I love about it, other than the pure Dadaist nature of it all, is that Jericho is always insistent on starting things anew. After he became stale as hell during the last couple years of his first run, he realized that he had to constantly reinvent himself. I’d say he’s doing a good job so far.

2) Cody Rhodes Living Up to the Past

It’s got to be hard being the son of a beloved wrestler. It’s like releasing a hit album and having to make a decent follow-up. You have to be good enough, but not too similar or you won’t be able to stand outside the shadow. Cody’s in a bad place because not only is his dad Dusty Rhodes, but his brother is Goldust. It wasn’t until a poll between the Divas named him the most handsome guy in the locker room that Cody finally found a way to make it all work.

See, being a Rhodes isn’t about being a funky and indecipherable southern man of the people or a painted sexual predator film buff. It’s about being fucking crazy. Find a persona and make that persona fucking crazy. It may mean calling yourself “dashing” for several minutes at a time. It may mean wearing a mask and acting like a hybrid of Vega and Dr. Doom. Whatever it is, Cody’s got it and he’s potentially the future of the company.

Not only that, but I’d like to believe that he and Randy Orton have some kind of mentor/protégé relationship behind the scenes, especially seeing as how they’ve not only been in a stable together, but they’ve feuded no less than three times over the years. There are a lot of parallels in their career paths and gimmicks (generic face, unhinged villain, heelishly milking an injury, abusing Ted Dibiase Jr., etc), but while Orton was first, I think that Cody has what it takes to be an overall superior performer.

3) Zack Ryder’s Self-Made Success

Zack Ryder is one of the bigger feel-good stories of the last year. A fraction of the audience got to see his personality and ability during the final days of ECW, but when he was brought onto Raw, he became a small fish in a very large pond. He became the go-to heel jobber and he knew his time with the company was growing short. He put together his own internet show on YouTube that showed his charisma and love for the business. It caught on over time and soon the fans kept demanding to see more of him. He’s become a big enough deal, now finding himself in the role of John Cena’s doofy sidekick. Sure, he lost the US Championship (though looking good for bravely fighting with busted ribs and kicking out of a couple finishers), but he’s still held the Internet Championship longer than anyone else.

4) The Failure of the Midcard Mafia

With Ryder’s success, there of course had to be copycats. Tyler Reks, whose claim to fame is that Matt Hardy copied his appearance when he went to TNA (with a little extra body fat), decided to start up his own South Park knockoff about the adventures of the Midcard Mafia, which includes himself, Curt Hawkins, Drew McIntyre and Tyson Kidd. That’s kind of funny in itself because McIntyre is the only guy on there who can be called a midcarder and currently that’s a hard argument to make. Depicted as wide-eyed cartoon characters who can only face the viewer and with voices that sound like they were recorded at a McDonalds drive-thru, Reks’ experiment completely missed the point of what made Ryder’s Z True Long Island Story work. Ryder was enthusiastic and optimistic and funny. Even when he complained about his status in the company, he was tongue-in-cheek enough to make it acceptable. The Midcard Mafia, which lasted maybe three episodes, was unfunny, lifeless, whiny and incredibly mean-spirited. The first episode based itself on railing Titus O’Neil, who himself has worked hard and improved what was once negative ability into something worth looking out for. Another episode featured them whining about Michael Cole stealing their spot, which is about as accurate as me saying Cole stole my spot.

It didn’t take long for WWE to tell Reks to cut this shit out. Not only was it not working, but all it seemed to do was bury the company and its talent. Whoa. Maybe Cole really did steal their spot.

5) The Febrile-Minded R-Truth

I think the sad truth of current-day WWE is that you have to go to Hell before you can get to Heaven. You can’t simply be a good guy from the start and take off, with a couple exceptions. The crowd needs to see your dark side before they can trust you and get behind you. Behind the overuse of his rapping gimmick, R-Truth had some moments of insanity during the tail end of his previous face run. It was the most interesting part about him, but it got overshadowed by “WHAT’S UP?!” When he went heel last summer, he dropped the rapping and went headfirst into the crazy. It worked wonders for him. He was taken serious enough to headline a couple PPVs and even the smarks became entertained by his antics. A punishment for being caught with synthetic weed caused him to be written off TV for a month by being beat up by the Miz and according to wrestling logic, that meant he’d have to come back as an angry face.

And it worked! R-Truth failed to bring back the tired rap aspect and instead grasped the complete insanity that brought him near the top. He’s taken the Little Jimmy and, “Don’t WHAT me!” and turned it into a face thing. The fans love it, Little Jimmy loves it and I love it too.

6) Wade Barrett: Man of Decorum

Since day one, Barrett has had just about everything needed to succeed in WWE. He’s got size, personality, a good look, style, a great accent and some of the best mic skills. He was never fantastic in the ring, but that’s because the only thing he’s lacked is experience. Every day he gets better and better and all the while, he’s been playing up his strengths. I’m rather glad that during the Nexus angle, they never pulled the trigger on Barrett as champion. Unlike what they’ve done with Sheamus, Bryan, Miz, Punk and Swagger, I think his first world title win could come off as a well-deserved major victory.

Plus I can listen to that man talk all day.

7) David Otunga Slurping Coffee

You have to hand it to David Otunga. Despite being the worst guy in the early days of NXT, he’s stuck around and has genuinely improved. He won’t set the ring on fire with his performances, but he’s still getting better. More than anything, he’s finding his niche by embracing his legit lawyer background and being a bowtie-wearing, smarmy tool. The best part of this is his habit of entering scenes while making a completely obnoxious slurp of coffee. Gets me every time.

8) Ezekiel Jackson’s Theme Song

Yeah, Zeke doesn’t have much going for him these days, although growing hair will probably deter a couple dozen people from making endless Ahmed Johnson comparisons. While he doesn’t have much of a future as a face or a heel, he does have this kickass track playing for his entrance.


9) Derrick Bateman Still Exists

I remember how much I used to love NXT. It was an original concept that allowed us to get a good look at the eventual stars of the product as well as a couple guys who had no right being there in the first place (hello, Jacob Novak!). Of all the guys to not make it onto the main roster, my favorite was Derrick Bateman, former wacky sidekick to the more serious Daniel Bryan. If you’ve never watched NXT or have seen what this guy has to offer, let me break it down for you: on a double date with the Bella Twins, Bateman wore a blazer, dress shirt, tie, fanny pack and USA zubaz pants. When the date went south, he angrily paid for the meal with a Ziploc bag full of change and stormed out. He’s a crazed enthusiast of everything involving chicks, America and “The Lethal Weapon” Steve Blackman.

He’s also decent enough in the ring if that counts for anything. Oh! And he’s responded to my Tweets.

Unfortunately, there’s a reason why I stopped watching NXT. Season 5 was about redemption for contestants who failed to make it to the main roster (and Darren Young, but I don’t feel like going on that tangent). The show was actually really solid and everyone involved showed a lot of improvement, including Jacob Novak of all people. Slightly. When they were down to the final two constants, Bateman was introduced as a late entry to the contest and the show just kept going on and on. Soon it stopped being about any sort of competition and just became a schlocky purgatory where the same guys wrestled each other week after week. Bateman turned heel, which he was mostly ill-suited for, but as of the recent 100th episode, he’s back in the saddle as a face. Who knows how much longer he’ll endure in WWE’s pointless little Brigadoon of programming, but at least there’s the hope that he might finally be on TV again.


10) CM Punk Speaks, the Reflection Lies

It’s been a damn good year for CM Punk, even if there’s been some major speed bumps. Punk has continuously been gold on the microphone and it’s finally getting him noticed on possibly a mainstream level. He’s great to watch in the ring and unlike the usual top spot guys, he’s yet to fall into the trap of being suddenly invincible. He plays the part of a competitor who wins because he’s skilled, not because he Hulks up. While his promos can get a little too smarky at times, 9 times out of 10, he’s the best on the mic. The only real problem is that while Austin – who people tend to compare him to – can get angry about anything, whether it be authority or whoever is standing in the ring with him, Punk’s anger seems to be narrowed down to authority and general unfairness. Put him against someone who doesn’t push his buttons by default and you’ve taken away a good chunk of his draw.

I’m glad that they’re giving him a real run with the title right now. A run that should last through Wrestlemania at least because of…

11) Kane and Rock are Keeping John Cena Busy

I’m not going to lie to you. I sort of enjoy the Cena/Kane feud. It’s so, so stupid. So stupid. On the other hand, this is something Cena needs to do. For one, if you’re going to treat Cena like a superhero for so long, then it’s high time you set him up against a bona fide supervillain. It’s so simple that I can’t believe they haven’t done Cena vs. Kane w/ magic powers ever before. More importantly, Cena is so busy fighting Kane that he can’t do anything else. He isn’t going to be challenging for any titles. He’s quarantined.

Which is also good because Cena would have zero reason to be in the Royal Rumble. His Wrestlemania match against the Rock is already in stone, so he frees up a spot in that regard. The illusion of competition gets to thrive until that program is done and I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.

Meanwhile, the whole Cena/Kane/Ryder storyline keeps making me think of this.

12) The Usos Doing the Haka

Even if the tag division meant anything, Jimmy and Jey would have the skills to be staples of it. Since they don’t do promos and can only speak through their in-ring talent, it’s cool that they’ve figured out their own unique showing of personality through their badass entrances.

So cool.

13) William Regal on Commentary

Like I said, I don’t keep up with NXT too much these days, but I did enjoy William Regal as a commentator. He needed to speak up a little more, but he had a lot to offer. In-ring insight, good conversation with whichever partner he’s with at the time and the occasional amusing anecdotes. Usually ridiculous stories he’s made up on the spot. It’s good to see that while his in-ring days have been winding down, he definitely has a future in the booth.

14) Brodus Clay Gettin’ Funky Like a Monkey

God, this is the best. When Brodus Clay showed up on NXT, he appeared to be the guy to look out for, but unfortunately didn’t match the hype. He had the look and heel charisma, but he never seemed like he wanted to actually be in the ring. Everything came off as half-assed. Despite Johnny Curtis winning the contest, Brodus was the only one who had something resembling a career of that season’s roster. After getting his head exploded by a ladder, he was put on the shelf until a never-ending series of hype videos reminding us about how badass and evil he is.

Then we get this.

Holy shit. First off, the reveal of having him come from “the Planet Funk”, labeling him as “the Funkasaurus” and having him dance his way out to the Cat’s old theme is one of the all-time best WTF moments in wrestling history. Positive or negative, you will have a reaction. Some see this as a rib or punishment, but even so, Brodus owns it by BEING the Funkasaurus. Unlike his role as Generic Monster #810, he seems to be genuinely into the funk gimmick. He’s having fun with it and I’m having fun with it. More importantly, it shows that he can strongly play both face and heel and that will get him far.

15) The Silver Lining of Injuries

It sucks that injuries happen. I don’t exactly wish them on anyone. At the same time, it rattles the cages and forces the company to think outside the box every now and then. Right now, so many guys are banged up that they have no choice but to try to go with a different plan. Times like this tend to give us the best surprises, like desperate pushes that end up working better than the company had ever expected.

Still, most of the guys I really wish weren’t injured. Which brings us to…

16) Randy Orton Stepping Up

I seem to have a love/hate relationship when it comes to Orton. The guy reinvents himself now and again and he’s exciting at first, but then he sort of goes through the motions and becomes boring. It became worse when he became John Cena #2, emphasized with his sudden win over Christian after being traded to Smackdown. The last six months have shown progress with Orton. Whether it’s partially his call or just the writers doing their jobs right, the Christian backlash led to Orton becoming a weaker and therefore more relatable top face. He put over Mark Henry, selling him as an unbeatable monster and has gone great lengths in making Wade Barrett look good. He still wins his matches, such as in his feud with Cody Rhodes, but it feels more acceptable due to his vulnerability.

More than anything, he’s been letting his personality shine through more and more. He’s less robotic and acts a little goofy now and then. The best example is his Miracle on 34th Street Fight with David Otunga. His incredulous reaction to nailing Otunga with a present makes it hard to hate the guy.

17) The Adorable Hatred of Heath Slater

As a face, I did not like Heath Slater on NXT. The guy is too damn punchable. I follow the guy on Twitter and just about everything he says on there makes me want to hit him with a wrench. Unlike Santino and Ryder, two comedy heels who became too likeable and had to become face, Slater could fit in the role without having to worry about that. He’s got the skills to maybe be a future Intercontinental Champion, but the hateable personality to make him a target for everybody’s fist.

It helps that he has the absolute best facial expressions in pro wrestling. I once read somebody jokingly suggest that they have a picture-in-picture box in the corner of Heath Slater watching Raw and making facial reactions. I’d watch it!

18) Your Executive Something Something John Laraunitis

Laraunitis’ tenure appears to be reaching its end as of this writing, but he’s really come into his own. Originally just a way for faces to attack an authority figure without elderly Vince having to take a bump, Johnny Ace has gone from being a dull excuse for an antagonist to a doofy businessman version of your dad trying to be cool. Until lately, he’s been more ambiguous about his stances as Raw GM, acting fair, but with a subtle feeling that he was up to something. Or maybe, more accurately, it’s the opposite. Being who he is, we feel that he’s up to something, but with the subtle possibility that maybe he isn’t so corrupt after all. Just inept. Either way, he’s the best evil GM since Vince’s original run and yeah, I’m even counting Eric Bischoff’s tenure on Raw.

19) Booker T’s Absolute Nonsense

Haha, Booker T is just adorable. It’s like Kids Say the Darnedest Things, only with a middle-aged black dude who once called Hulk Hogan the n-word on live TV. A lot of what he says is repeated gibberish and constant refrains of, “Wait a minute…” but the guy tries so hard. If we’re doomed to get bad commentary, at least it should be from someone positive who’s totally into it and only accidentally buries the talent (like when he describes John Cena as being successful despite having limited talent). I just wish they’d bring in his brother and former WCW broadcast journalist Steve Ray to reunite them as a commentary team.

Shucky ducky quack quack.

20) All Will Suffer at the Hands of Mark Henry

I’ve talked at length about why I love Mark Henry, but he’s been holding his spot even with a groin injury. It sucks that they’ve been booking him like they book post-stroke Bret Hart. They pretend like he can be in matches, but we know they can’t really compete and await the other shoe to drop. Henry has been healing up over the weeks and is about ready to reenter the ring for real. Since they don’t have to skirt away from him being physical, he’s back to being an ebony juggernaut who will crush you into a ball and throw you into a wastepaper basket if you make eye-contact.

Keeping himself in the title picture, it did give us his one-match stint as a commentator where he proceeded to steal the show.

I love Mark Henry.

21) Women Can Do More Than Wrestle… Especially if They Can’t

Over the past few years, WWE’s gotten a bit too into the idea of Divas competing in the ring. It’s nice that women are allowed to wrestle when years ago they really never did, but WWE’s gone too far. You HAVE to wrestle or else. Actually, it’s not even that. You have to be a wrestler or else. Considering how little the company cares for the Diva matches, it kind of blocks off all female characters from the show. Just because they CAN wrestle doesn’t mean they SHOULD. Sunny wasn’t so memorable because she was a wrestler. She was memorable because she was an awesome personality who worked so well as a manager. Even Vickie Guerrero, the only real exception to WWE’s rule, had to be tossed into matches every now and then. Now they finally seem to be moving away from that. Divas can be involved in things other than chasing the gold. The best example is how Rosa Mendes has taken the Sunny role with the Not-Carlito Brothers. She’s getting farther in that role than she ever did jumping rope backstage and losing matches in a minute and a half.

22) It’s Almost Time for Claudio!


There’s been no bigger sign of optimism to me than finding out that Claudio Castagnoli had been hired again by WWE. There is absolutely no reason why this well-rounded guy can’t one day become a world champion. He has all the tools and the company would have to be insane not to exploit them to the fullest. Even though WWE has their dumb habit of renaming everyone so they can hold the rights to their mainstream ring name, “Antonio Cesaro” doesn’t sound so bad. I like it. From what I understand, his current gimmick in FCW is that he’s a militant Swiss soldier. Sure, why not. He’s on the road with the company and has been competing in dark matches and house shows, so hopefully he’s on TV sooner than later.

Chris Hero may or may not be following his path based on a physical gone wrong a few months ago. Fingers crossed that it’s nothing serious that would prevent him from working with the company.

23) Mason Ryan’s Push is Put On the Shelf

Poor Mason Ryan. I respect the guy because he knows that despite looking like a Rob Liefeld drawing come to life, he just isn’t experienced or talented enough to be a top dog. He still gets pushed upwards because of his Batista-like appearance and I can’t hate on him for saying yes to the offer. Still, the company appears to be holding back on shoving him down our throats as he’s now in the same company of “I forgot he even existed!” as Alex Riley, showing up every now and then backstage. I’d like to think that he’ll one day know himself to be ready for the main event, but now’s not that time and I’m glad WWE sees it that way.

24) Jack Swagger’s Getting Pushed, Finally

Swagger’s endured a tough deal for the past few years. Without a doubt, he has the worst title run of any WWE wrestler. His win came out of nowhere after a length of obscurity, he was booked as a joke throughout his reign outside of one clean win against Orton at a PPV and upon losing the title, he eventually reached borderline jobber level. It’s a shame, since the guy is pretty damn awesome and should be a main eventer by now. He’s recently been given the United State title, which is perfectly fitting for his All-American American gimmick. Maybe all that crap he went through was part of Vince McMahon’s habit of putting his talent through mud and seeing how they react, ultimately pushing them harder if they endure. Probably not, but oh well.

In other Swagger-related goodness, he has his own attempt at trying to follow up on Ryder and it’s actually quite funny!

25) Kevin Nash is Nowhere to be Seen

Wrestling is a business where nearly everybody get theirs and one of the comforts is knowing that complete assholes who are detrimental eat their karma, such as everything going on in Hulk Hogan’s life. It’s annoying how Triple H and Kevin Nash have lasted so long without having to deal with that despite being outright destructive at times. I mean, Nash was instrumental in killing WCW and yet here he was, screwing up CM Punk’s money angle. I don’t know what’s worse, the idea that Punk was going to have to have a match with Nash at some point or the fact that they didn’t even do it in the end.

It was the Triple H aspect of the feud that really made it insufferable, mainly because it led to him burying everyone on the roster (barring Cena, Punk, Orton and Sheamus because that might have prevented the crowd from cheering everything he had to say) during the Raw strike. The upside to when the feud became strictly Triple H vs. Nash was how they weren’t infecting any of the other stories with their crap. Granted, it did mean plenty of TV time was spent focusing on replays of Nash attacking Triple H that one time, but at least Punk was nowhere to be seen.

Once they got their match out of the way, they simply disappeared. Triple H may return to the ring every now and then, but at least he’s in semi-retirement mode. It’s been nice not having him on TV for a while and I hope after this Monday’s Raw, we don’t have to put up with him on a regular basis.

26) Daniel Bryan: Loveable Douche Heel Champ

I’ve vehemently argued that WWE was doing right with Daniel Bryan. Ever since winning the Money in the Bank match and saying that his title match would take place at Wrestlemania, I knew that he was destined to lose a whole lot of matches. It was a risky plot, but if he gained just the right momentum in his final months – which he was – he could have beaten Mark Henry for the title on the grandest stage and made for a seriously satisfying win. If they skewed from that plan in any way, it was going to be a complete disaster.

And so, they skewed from that plan. To be fair, it wasn’t their fault. Mark Henry pulled his groin and they needed to get the belt off of him pronto. So they cooked up what appeared to be a slow-burn heel turn for Big Show that ended up becoming a slow-burn heel turn for Daniel Bryan. It ended up working due to Bryan’s oblivious and overly-confident heel persona is easier to buy than his honorable and unsure face persona. He’s become like the second coming of the original Kurt Angle run with his two-face actions and low-down scheming to get what he wants while acting like he’s the most wholesome guy you’ve ever met.

From the looks of things, we’re probably going to get Bryan vs. Orton at Wrestlemania and you know what? I’m totally cool with that. Then again, if we get Sheamus vs. Bryan instead, it’ll be even better. Hell, it’ll be pretty fitting of how one year can make a difference when a dark match becomes a world title match.

27) Terrible Commentary is Slightly Less Terrible

2011 was a bad year for the eardrums due to Michael Cole being completely unbearable. Always on the annoying side, Cole took it too far with his heel persona. Constantly shitting on everything going on with minimal comeuppance and being there for both main shows as well as the PPVs is like WWE demanding we stop watching their programming. I’m not even going to get started on his feud with Lawler and Jim Ross.

Making it even worse was the company’s complete immersion of everything Twitter. Good God, man. They couldn’t go five minutes without bringing up how “Santino” is trending as if it means anything other than desperation. It reached the point of self-parody.

It seems the company has learned that both of these are things that really need to be scaled back. Cole will heel it up every now and then, but at least I can’t remember him obnoxiously talking over Lawler or Matthews with, “OH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!” It’s been a while since he berated Daniel Bryan for being a vegan, as if that was something to be chided for in the first place. The Twitter stuff has calmed down considerably. It’s been pretty refreshing.

Now that I think about it, Daniel Bryan was the origin of Cole going heel originally. Now that Bryan is heel, does that mean Cole can finally go back to being his normal, boring self for good?

28) Christian! Christian! At Last He’ll Be Off His Crutches!

Another part of that Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry program is that I figured that a Bryan vs. Christian mini-feud was only natural. Christian kept demanding one more match while Bryan was proving himself unworthy to have a Wrestlemania title shot. There was easily setup for Christian to goad him into defending the Money in the Bank briefcase. Bryan could have beaten Christian and legitimized himself, but a leg injury took Christian out of the picture.

Luckily, Christian’s comeback seems to be nigh. I’d like to see them make him a face yet again, but either way, he’s going to be entertaining and lead to some awesome-ass matches and stories.

29) Dolph Ziggler’s a Couple Steps from Perfection

Ziggler’s rise upwards has been incredibly slow, but incredibly pleasing. It reminds me of Shawn Michaels’ career, where they took their time to allow him to make it to the top. I wouldn’t mind him becoming champ right now, but I wouldn’t ask for it. The guy is proving himself more legit by the day, taking the form of this generation’s Curt Hennig through his great ring work, amazing selling and excelling on the microphone. These days he doesn’t even need Vickie Guerrero at his side to the point that she almost feels like a hindrance to him. I don’t think he’s got the star power quite yet, but given time, he’ll be a huge mainstay in the main event for a long time.

30) The Royal Rumble!

Only days away, baby! It never matters how bad the WWE’s product gets because the Rumble is too big to fail. The worst Rumble was in 1999 when Russo was behind the wheel and even then it isn’t all too terrible. Not only is this show like Christmas for me as a wrestling fan, but it even takes the edge over the holidays being over. Christmas leads to New Years which leads to the Royal Rumble which leads to Wrestlemania. Personally, I like how the Elimination Chamber PPV has made Royal Rumble a bit more unpredictable. For most years, the winner is pretty much written in stone. These past years, it could be any number of people. Perhaps it will be Jericho working his way towards a title shot against CM Punk? Orton earning a shot at Daniel Bryan? Dolph Ziggler getting a second chance? Sheamus and Wade Barrett have been the main Rumble feud, perhaps one of them might go all the way?

Who knows? Either way, it’s going to be awesome.

Credit to wcwchris for the Jericho gif and Jerusalem for the other ones.

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4 comments to “30 Things I Currently Enjoy About WWE”

  1. Man, I want to make at least a small comment about all of these…

    …so I will!

    1) Hopefully Jericho does something a lot more heelish at the Rumble to get the fans to turn on him, because right now they pretty much refuse. I’m sure he’s got something up his sleeve though. I’m totally down for a Punk/Jericho match at Mania, that’s for sure.

    2) Cody’s awesome. He and Ziggler became two of my favorites this year, from quality of match to promos to personality. Not exactly sure how well this proposed Cody/Goldust match is going to turn out though.

    3) I’ll admit, I just don’t really like Ryder. I watched some of his videos, and while they’re pretty funny and clever, I just can’t get past his annoying Jersey Shore-esque gimmick and I really hate his music. Eh.

    4) That Midcard Mafia thing looked so awful I didn’t even bother to watch it. Glad I didn’t!

    5) Love crazy Truth. Don’t love how the Miz is getting buried. But I guess the job has been done because I don’t care that much about Miz anymore anyway.

    6) Barrett’s nicely positioned for a good push this year. He hasn’t been made to look foolish in a long time, and he actually wins. He probably needs some sort of championship at some point though. Maybe they could *gasp* pair him up with someone and *gasp* have them go for the tag team championships eventually! Then it’s like you could push two people at once! (Note: this might work better for wrestlers other than Wade but the point still stands)

    7) Haha. Otunga isn’t a good wrestler but his current gimmick is good enough. I still fondly remember his first coffee slurp…

    8) I guess Ezekiel growing hair would make me stop making those comparisons…maybe.

    9) I’ve never watched much NXT, but isn’t Bateman the guy who did those weird proverb promos and then just disappeared?

    10) The best thing for me about what Punk is doing now is that right before MitB I went and had a look at his ROH title run and departure to see how that compared and thought that was really well done, as I had heard. And of course he started using Cult of Personality as his song then. So the RAW after MitB when he came back and that music hit, I marked out pretty hard. Well, before realizing that they brought him back way too soon, but that’s another story.

    11) Kane, Kane Kane…so excited that he was going to return with a mask and then when he did, eh, I liked the segment when he returned but since then the storyline has just been so stupid. So…what you said. But I don’t think I hate as much as some, since I do enjoy Kane being a badass monster with a mask and kicking ass, but they could have done it so much better than this. Probably.

    12) Please bring a decent tag division back, WWE, thanks. It could actually help bring more exposure to more wrestlers leading to more stars! Amazing I know!

    13) Plus Regal’s match with Bryan. I’ve been watching some FCW lately and he’s done some commentary on that too, along with the Dead Ambrose feud. So Regal’s good in my book.

    14) Yes. The Funkasaurus is the best. I hope they’re able to keep the momentum though. That can be hard to do with a gimmick like this.

    15) Eh, depends on who gets injured…

    16) I still can’t bring myself to care about Orton, and I hope he doesn’t win the Rumble and then go on to face Mark Henry at Wrestlemania like they might be planning, but I will say he was wrestling some great matches before he got injured.

    17) Slaters gonna Slate.

    18) Like everyone else I really hated Lauranitis at first, not as good heel hate but just Karen Jarrett please shut up and get the hell off tv hate. But as time went by I really started enjoying how he played his character, and last week on RAW his tirade was awesome. And for some reason I really do want to see he and Punk wrestle.

    19) I just don’t Booker on commentary. Oh well.

    20) Oh god yes Mark Henry has been incredible as a monster heel since he turned. His title run was great, and I’d be fine with him winning it back, except I want to see Bryan keep it for awhile longer. Just make sure he’s 100% because otherwise he can do absolutely nothing in the ring.

    21) Less Divas wrestling is always something I can get behind. Women wrestlers wrestling is another thing entirely, but that’s a discussion for another day. Or something.

    22) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! You got me hooked on Chikara and I loved what I saw from Claudio, that plus his Kings of Wrestling work with Hero. Him debuting on FCW got me to start watching that show, actually. I thought he’s looked pretty good there, and hopefully he’ll debut sooner or later. Probably not during the Rumble like I’m hoping, but maybe in the coming weeks?

    23) …who the hell is Alex Riley?

    24) Swagger still can’t talk that well. Maybe he can keep Vicky and Dolph can go out onto his own. I dunno.

    25) Uggggggggghhhhhhhh, that Kevin Nash angle. Guh.

    26) Bryan’s heel turn has been done really well, and the Big Show is a big (ha ha) part of that. Show and Bryan have been knocking all their promos out of the park, and their matches have been, eh, about as good as I could expect. But Bryan is such a great worker. His conniving heel persona is fine, but I hope they actually let him win clean at some point against Show or Henry. I don’t understand why they can’t just let a smaller dude beat a bigger dude with technical superiority, rather than just doing bigger is better most of the time. Although I understand not doing that with Henry since they built up the monster heel aspect, but they could definitely do it with Show.

    Plus there’s a good chance it won’t be Orton/Bryan at Mania if Orton wins the Rumble, since they might do Orton/Henry since then Orton could have his revenge for getting beaten by Henry in the first place. I guess we’ll see.

    27) Hmph. The commentary might be better lately, as in the last month lately. The last time it was unbearable where Cole was just burying everyone was the RAW after TLC where Bryan, Punk and Ryder all had the titles and were in that main event where Cole just kept burying them. But I guess lately it hasn’t been so bad, yes.

    28) This reminds me that I missed a Christian appearance at a K-Mart near me because I had to work when he was there. I should have just skipped out and went to see him because the K-Mart is about 2 minutes away from work. Oh well.

    29) Jeez, you had me worried there for a minute. There were only a few more points I hadn’t seen and you hadn’t even mentioned Ziggler yet. But yeah, Dolph is one of my favorites now, he’s awesome in the ring, his selling might be the best in the company, his promos are fantastic, and he’s got a great look. I guess the only downside is his size, which might hinder his main event status but I really hope it doesn’t. He really is like a mini Mr. Perfect, isn’t he.

    30) Oh hell yeah, just loves me some Rumbles. Or maybe a Royal Over The Top Rope Challenge? I’m trying to get other people to go somewhere and watch it with me this year but who knows if that’s going to work. Probably not.

    So that was incredibly long winded. I wonder if anyone will even read all that?

  2. In anime terms

    Kane = Cell
    Zack = Android 16
    Cena = Gohan

  3. @Schide: You’re thinking of Johnny Curtis, who won NXT4 and did a big pile of nothing. Derrick Bateman’s only TV appearance other than a lumberjack match had him do a commercial for a Mark Henry-based perfume.

  4. I must say NXT5 is dragging and did lose its competition and original aim. But I’ve come to embrace it as a second Superstars. (It still airs on TV here in the Philippines.) It did give us facepaint Yoshi Tatsu, and a lot of decent matches.

    Tatsu vs Tyson Kidd, action figure on a pole… it worked so much better than I thought it would have.