World’s Funkiest

November 21st, 2008 by | Tags: , , , , ,

You may have noticed that I haven’t been writing too much in the past week or so. After Ultimatum Edit, I needed to take a little breather, which I’ve been using to play the hell out of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe and lay down my lines for my next iRiffs project. My iRiff for Japoteurs isn’t doing too bad and was at a point listed as the top short on the site. For those of you who bought it, I thank you. For those of you who don’t, c’moooooon!

(vote 5 too)

So, earlier today Esther Inglis-Arkell-Contessa-Louisa-Francesca-Banana-Fanna-Bo-Besca-the-Third posted some nonsense about how badly Bucky Barnes would murder Nightwing. God, this again? It doesn’t really matter. It’s whoever the writer feels would win. Hell, I could write a story about D-Man defeating Galactus if Marvel asked me to do it.

Eh? Hello, Marvel? Anything? No? …Fine.

She even made a post a while back about Superman vs. Batman in a fight. Really? In latter 2008? People are still talking about that?

Come on, people! Superman fighting Batman has been done to death. Goreless, underwhelming and disappointing death that isn’t worth looking up movelists on the internet and… sorry. MKvDC “Heroic Brutality” flashbacks.

We need to move on. The Superman vs. Batman slugfest is old hat. You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking Superman vs. Batman…


Yeah! Now, this is like the opposite of the fighting. When it comes to duking it out, Superman has the advantage and Batman is the underdog. At first glance, Batman should have this in the bag. Not only does the cast of Shortpacked think he’s the Dark Knight of the Dance, but Prince wrote a cheesy song about it.

That’s just conjecture. I’m dealing with cold, hard facts.

First, let’s have Batman take the floor with the classic.

Ah, the Batusi. Bruce owes much to that scene, though it does end with him playing the fool. Can Superman counter?

Let’s check out World’s Finest #113, the first meeting between Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxypltk.


Superman isn’t just about breaking brick walls and giant robots. He’s about breaking in general! Plus, if you look closely, you can see that Superman’s doing the robot dance arm dangle, but upside-down!

Batman’s got a tough act to follow. Luckily, Mayor West has some more tricks up his sleeve.

You can say that Batman’s got the home court advantage for dancing to “bat music” (does FYE have a bat music section?), but I can look past it. He gets his groove on long enough before getting down to business and punking out the opposition. This time Batman ends things on top.

Hm… It looks like I’m going to have to award this to Batman. I mean, unless Superman can pull out some kind of crazy skill, it’s over.

Clark? Show ’em what you’re made of.

Batman, you’ve sulked over your dead parents for years. You’ve sulked over dead sidekicks, corrupt sidekicks and crippled sidekicks. You’ve sulked over your failure as an ally, a friend and a father. Congratulations, because now you have another reason to sulk.

Bruce Wayne, you just got served!

Thanks to snackmar and Magic Love Hose for discovering those Superman images and bringing inspiration.

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7 comments to “World’s Funkiest”

  1. This will be the last post ever on 4l, because we clearly will never get better than this. In other words,

  2. The first part of the post would have been hurtful, except for the fact that you used my proper name.

    As for your later reasoning: Kudos, sir. Kudos.

  3. Superman’s real identity should totally be rumbled right there and then, because everyone should know that Clark Kent can’t dance.

  4. Oh sure, blame me for this.

    Now, the real question is, what song was Clark dancing to? ‘Weapon of Choice’ springs to mind.

  5. shit, gavok. Why isn’t this site called the 7th letter?

  6. @Magic Love Hose: Unless it’s someone shouting from the crowd, I think Clark’s dancing to KC and the Sunshine Band’s “Shake Your Booty”.

    @Pedro Tejeda: hermanos has already paid for the domain. I don’t want to break his heart.

  7. I like how Clark has his own fanclub unless John Travolta is in town that day. Think about it though, have you ever seen Travolta and Superman at the same time?

    And for the record, Vibe vs Dazzler would be a senses-shattering saga of a deadly dance-off duel worthy of only the finest alliterations Stan Lee could provide. EXCELSIOR!