Eh. I couldn’t resist.

40) Siryn Stays
Deadpool #5 (1997)
Writer: Joe Kelly

Deadpool’s healing factor has been on the fritz, and he’s offered help from a strange source in Dr. Killbrew. Killbrew is the sadistic scientist who tortured Wade and gave him his powers in the first place, but now he’s a guilt-ridden old man who wants to make things right. Deadpool really wants to tear him apart, but two things are stopping him. One, the cure for his ailing healing factor and two, Siryn is in his company for the adventure.

After a run-in with the Hulk, Deadpool has a blood sample that’s able to pump him back up to working condition. Behind Siryn’s back, he tries to murder Killbrew. Killbrew is only slightly reluctant, but accepts that he deserves this. Before Deadpool can end it for him, Siryn breaks the door down with her voice. She’s furious at Deadpool and stands in front of Killbrew to protect him.

The two argue back and forth, with Deadpool continuingly demanding Siryn leaves the room so he can do this. She flat out refuses, making him freak out. He doesn’t want to show this part of himself in front of her, but he’s being given no choice. Siryn demands to see proof that Deadpool’s inner animal wins out over the good man she knows he can be and lets it slip that she’s known for a while that Deadpool’s been creepily watching over her when she sleeps and feels safe because of it. She promises she’ll be there for him, allowing Deadpool to feel mercy for once in his life. He tells Killbrew to get the hell out of there ASAP and to thank Siryn for being able to keep his pulse.

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Based on one of the comments in an earlier article, I should probably mention that despite Deadpool being awesome in other forms of media (some of them, at least), I’m only counting comic book stuff for this countdown.

Sorry, no inclusions of the time in Ultimate Alliance where he talks to Weasel about the time he stabbed him in the leg for taking the last cheese puff. Or the conversation where he tries to convince Black Bolt to say “spatula”.

This also means no inclusions of animated Deadpool shooting Hulk and Wolverine with a crapload of tranquilizer darts before saying, “Hey, Logan! It’s me, Deadpool! I shot youuuuu!” Which is a shame in of itself because Hulk vs. Wolverine is such a brilliant depiction of the mouthed merc.

50) Rock ‘n’ Roll!
Identity Disc #2 (2004)
Writer: Rob Rodi

For those who haven’t heard of it, Identity Disc is a miniseries from a few years back that is essentially what happened when a writer decided to take The Usual Suspects and rewrite it with six supervillains. Five of the villains are interesting characters and help sell the series, but the other one sucks and is somehow the main character. Hint: I’m talking about Vulture.

Deadpool is part of this group in search for the Identity Disc, which has the identities of every superhero. In one scene, he hangs out with Bullseye, waiting to strike a facility and steal a skeleton key device. The two talk about what the Kaiser Soze knockoff of a villain has on them to make them play ball. For Deadpool, he’ll get information on where his ex-wife is. I don’t even think they meant Mercedes from the Kelly run, which makes it more of a continuity clusterfuck. For Bullseye, he’s tried working both sides of a gang war and it’s blown up in his face. If he does his job here, the slate will be wiped clean.

Finally, it hits nightfall and after all that waiting, they can finally get to business. Bullseye says, “Time to rock ‘n’ roll,” as the two sneak around the building. After all the lead-up, all that happens is Bulleye knocks a security guard out by flicking a piece of gravel onto his forehead and then finds the safe and gets the prize. Deadpool is angry over the complete lack of action and the fact that he wasn’t even needed to begin with.

To make up for it…

And there it is. The only scene from Identity Disc you’ll see on the list.

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Holy… I can’t believe I never noticed that line before. That’s awesome!

And now, the countdown.

60) Zombie Double-Cross
Deadpool (v.2) #4-5 (2009)
Writer: Daniel Way

Deadpool is unfortunately running into an annoying habit of his writers doing the same story again and again. Between the story in question, the Game$ of Death one-shot and the current Suicide Kings miniseries (all within a couple months of each other), Deadpool has been tossed into stories where he’s hired to do a job for a million dollars, only it’s all one big set-up. Come on, guys. Mix it up every once and a while.

That said, I really dug the end of the first recent story to do this. As part of the new series by Daniel Way, Deadpool is hired to rescue a rich former mercenary’s wife from a corrupt plastic surgeon Dr. Lovosno and his faction of zombies. As it turns out, Deadpool himself is payment from the rich guy, as the zombies can feed off of him forever. In theory. In actuality, Deadpool takes horrible to cannibal types, so that idea’s in the crapper. He sets up a way for Lovosno’s zombies to feed on the traitorous merc and his henchmen, only he backstabs the zombies too by slipping out and blowing up the entire area.

Lovosno’s head lands near Deadpool, whining about how Wade betrayed them all.

“Duh!”

Maybe I just find something really funny about kicking disembodied heads that can still talk. Like in Waterboy.

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(I should probably first mention RIP Bea Arthur because… well, you know. It’s on-topic)

Wade Wilson. Deadpool. The Merc with a Mouth. The Deathstroke the Terminator knockoff. Cable’s reluctant sidekick. The would-be mutant. The febrile-minded man who has to deal with outrageous moral quandaries. The man who shot Liberty Valance. The… you get the point. These days are pretty lucrative for the yellow-bubbled anti-hero of Marvel. The character, who as of this writing has been around for 19 years, has gone through many twist and turns in his fictional existence. Enough that I can write up 70 of his best moments. Why 70? Because it’s a week-long series and ten per day is a round enough number on its own.

First appearing in New Mutants #98, created by the team of Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, Deadpool would follow the cast as the series became X-Force. There, his character, though with attempts at humor, was mostly pretty bland. His appearances usually involved him talking about how great the mysterious Mr. Tolliver was paying him followed by Wade beating the crap out of his girlfriend Copycat. So yeah, not very fun.

Then he got his own miniseries. It wasn’t all that great, though the ending showed that he wasn’t a total piece of shit. Then he got another miniseries and it was better. Then he finally got his own on-going series, which had a great run by Joe Kelly. Once he left, it went for about two and a half years of different writers that made the whole thing seem like a big step down. Luckily, prior to being cancelled at #69, Deadpool’s final issues were a huge breath of fresh air and put some life back into the character… except for the fact that they killed him off.

But then his Japanese Ben Reilly self got an on-going series, which ruled until the original creative team was kicked off. Then it eventually turned lousy and got itself cancelled. Thankfully, Marvel brought the original team back for three issues to both explain the mystery of the main character’s identity and bring Deadpool back from the dead. Hurray!

From there, Deadpool shared a comic with his blood enemy Cable. In a series that played the two off of each other brilliantly, it went on for a respectable run. Unfortunately, Cable joined the X-Men at one point and the series, though still very readable, had jumped the shark. Even worse, Cable “died”, thus making it all about just Deadpool again and robbing the magic of what made the series fun. But hey, 50 issues isn’t bad.

After a memorable stint in Wolverine Origins, Deadpool has returned to form in yet another solo series. Plus a recent one-shot. And a new miniseries. And a role in Messiah War. And a spot in the animated movie Hulk vs. Wolverine. And a Thunderbolts crossover. And a SECOND on-going series coming up in a few months.

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds is playing Wade Wilson in a movie that’s coming out, but apparently has little to do with what made people like the character in the first place. Like Movie Deadpool’s lack of mouth for one.

Now, then. Let’s get this countdown underway.

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A bit of an update from my side of things. A few days ago, my computer up and died. Died as in going to a shutdown and restart screen upon turning on the computer. Hard drive had died of old age and you honestly couldn’t care about any of this.

The short of it is that for several days, I was without computer. This was infuriating for two reasons. One, I was unable to watch the full 2 and a half minute version of the Spongebob Got Back Burger King commercial. Two, I have been completely unable to get any writing done. Which means that the Deadpool countdown thingy will be delayed, though probably no longer than a day or so. That’s not too bad, right?

During my forced Amishness, I dove back into my collection of Essential Power Man and Iron Fist. Coming back to this here site, I found that hermanos posted several pages from it. Feh. If you want a REAL example of how great that comic was, look no further than this:

Haha, Iron Fist is such a dork.

Anyway, the Deadpool thing should hopefully be up sometime Saturday night/Sunday morning.

First off, thanks to all of you who have sent in your ideas and suggestions for my upcoming Top 50 (or maybe 70) Deadpool Moments series I’ll be doing in a few days. The response has been pretty overwhelming and I very much appreciate it.

Of course, the more the merrier. If there’s anyone out there meaning to send in some ideas, now would be the time. Just send me an email with your suggestions and maybe a sentence or paragraph about what’s so great about said scene.

Something where I can go, “superwadefan36 says ‘This is easily the best Deadpool moment because of the way he blah blah blah blah…'”

I’m also glad to see that nobody’s suggested anything from Palmiotti’s Cruel Summer arc, which cements my theory that it’s the worst three issues in Deadpool’s entire history. Waaay worse than the old X-Force stuff.

Previously in the Venom series, our anti-hero got in a dumb adventure with Wolverine that ended with Venom saving the life of a government guy by the name of Agent Daryll Smith. As you’re about to see, Smith would be a major part of Venom’s latter day good guy exploits.

There are only 11 months of his series left. The sad truth is, Venom has nothing to do as a character at this moment. He left San Francisco behind, his ex-wife has walked away from her supporting role and he doesn’t have any real long-standing villains to build up against. He’s just hanging out in New York City, dealing with whatever comes after him. Even the Hunger made a point of how monotonous it’s getting.

What Venom needs is direction.

On Trial (Venom #50-52) is again by Larry Hama, with Josh Hood doing art. It’s always interesting to see the change in the Marvel landscape through this series. If you look back, you see so much change in the previous four years. We saw Peter Parker’s fake parents, Scarlet Spider, Spider-Ben and now we’re back to a story with regular, old fashioned Spider-Man. Not only that, but we have several namedrops of the whole Heroes Reborn garbage.

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MODELS, INC. #1 (of 4)
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Pencils by VIÇENC VILLAGRASSA
Cover by SCOTT CLARK
Fashion Week is always a hectic time for models, and this year is no exception. Between escaped wolves, robbery attempts, and overly friendly police officers, Mary Jane Watson, Patsy Walker, Jill Jerold, Chili Storm and Millicent (Millie the Model) Collins are testing the limits of their endurance. But when a brilliant young set designer is found murdered with three bullet holes in his back, and Millie proves to be the prime suspect, the models are forced to play detective in order to save one of their own!
32 PGS./ Rated A …$3.99

MODELS, INC. #2 (of 4)
Written by PAUL TOBIN
Penciled by VIÇENÇ VILLAGRASSA
Cover by SCOTT CLARK
Millie Collins suspected of murder? Could it get any stranger? How about when she’s linked to a second murder by a policeman who’s intent on making a name for himself, and who has romantic intentions on Mille? It will take the investigative skills of Chili Storm and Mary Jane Watson, along with the ever-helpful Peter Parker, in order to turn up the clues to turn Millie loose!
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

Anybody remember Marvel’s Models, Inc.? Paul Tobin and Viçenç Villagrassa have been working on Marvel’s all-ages Adventures books. Models, Inc. was to have been a book edited by Mark Paniccia, who just this past week released the delightful debuts of the all-new Savage She-Hulk (Fred van Lente/Peter Vale) and Exiles (Jeff Parker/Salva Espin). Looking over Paniccia’s profile on Comicbookdb.com reveals him to be a pretty solid editor. He was behind Agents of Atlas, Daughters of the Dragon, the Franklin Richards books, the New Warriors, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane, and (word to Gavok) Marvel’s recent trips back to the What If? well. He’s delivered on some pretty fun and engaging comics concepts, and put his faith in a lot of the non-Bendis/Brubaker/Millar guys at Marvel to great success.

The mini-series was supposed to start in February, after being solicited in November, but we’re two months past that now and Marvel’s just announced a new series, Marvel Divas.

This also seems like the perfect time to announce our Marvel Divas limited series, beginning in July, from Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Tonci Zonjic, featuring some of the Marvel Universe’s greatest female heroes in a way you haven’t seem them before. I’ll let Roberto explain:

“The idea behind the series was to have some sudsy fun and lift the curtain a bit and take a peep at some of our most fabulous super heroines. In the series, they’re an unlikely foursome of friends–Black Cat, Hell Cat, Firestar, and Photon–with TWO things in common: They’re all leading double-lives and they’re all having romantic trouble. The pitch started as “Sex and the City” in the Marvel Universe, and there’s definitely that “naughty” element to it, but I also think the series is doing to a deeper place, asking question about what it means…truly means…to be a woman in an industry dominated by testosterone and guns. (And I mean both the super hero industry and the comic book industry.) But mostly it’s just a lot of hot fun.

Robot 6 has an interesting comments thread about the series and other issues.

Here’s the cover, which interestingly enough is named “vixens001_cvr.jpg.” Was the series Marvel Vixens at first?

In the writer’s own words, the series is “sudsy fun” and “naughty” and “hot fun.” Contrast this with Paul Tobin’s description of Models, Inc.:

The series itself is a murder mystery. The models are all staying at one of Tony Stark’s Central Park mansions because it’s Fashion Week in New York, and they have so many events to attend that they decide on a central location. Fashion Week is already buzzing because of the murder of a well known socialite and the disappearance of several important works of art by artists such as Otto Dix and Egon Schiele.

Then, when a second murder takes place, Millie Collins becomes the prime suspect, and it’s up to the models to band together to unearth the real murderer. Crime, suspense, and high fashion. Alert the paparazzi!

One has a description that’d fit with your average Skinemax movie, or Bill Jemas’s Bad Girls for Fanboys movement. The other sounds like, well, a murder mystery. Jeff Scott Campbell’s cover is, well, a J. Scott Campbell cover. Big on Comic Book Sexy, low on variety. Models, Inc.’s covers were take-offs on the stereotypical Cosmo/Vogue covers, Glamourpuss-style.

When you put them up side-by-side like this, I feel like one of these books would be interesting and fun, and the other wouldn’t. Obviously, I’m pre-judging here, but as a consumer, that’s what I’m supposed to do. Models, Inc. sounded like the kind of self-aware-but-funny comic I dig these days, and fairly non-exploitative. Marvel Divas sounds like the opposite.

I couldn’t find a statement from Marvel online about its cancellation, but the series has been wiped from Marvel’s site entirely. So, what happened to Models, Inc.?

At this point in this series of Venom articles, I think it’s right to note that whether you like the comics, hate the comics, like the character or hate the character, you have to admit that the whole symbiote idea is, deep down, really original and full of potential. Really, look past the bad stories and you’ll see a comic book concept that has so many places it can go. It’s like Kryptonian DNA or Multiple Man’s powers. Years later they’re still coming up with new tricks for them all. The sky’s the limit.

Yet, their ideas for characters outside of Venom were never all that creative. Carnage, blood stuff aside is just “Venom but pure evil.” Scream is little more than “Venom as a woman with Medusa hair.” Where are the ninja symbiote hosts? Where are the quadruple amputee symbiote hosts with spider legs sticking out of their torsos? The Siamese twins? At least our topic today, Hybrid, had enough creativity in his concept to be slightly more than “Venom but a black guy.”

I don’t blame you for not knowing who Hybrid is. He’s only had a very limited amount of appearances. While he isn’t the most exciting Marvel character to fall into obscurity, there are some interesting things that set him apart from his symbiote brethren. For one, human host Scott Washington is actually an established character. That’s a bit of a rarity, isn’t it? Eddie Brock showed up after Spider-Man got rid of the costume. Cletus Kasady appeared specifically to set Carnage’s origin in motion. Donna Diego was a complete afterthought to the extent that they didn’t even give her or her symbiote self a name until way after the fact. Even Pat Mulligan, who I’ll get to way down the line, was introduced in the same arc that made him Toxin.

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Ultimatum #4 got delayed for a whole month (surprise) and my plans for doing another weekly set at the end of April have fallen apart. Instead, I got another idea and I need all your help.

With Deadpool making his movie debut, or whatever you would call it, on May 1st, I’m going to do a series on the Top 50 Deadpool Moments. I’m going to flip through his entire comic history and jog my memory.

What I need is suggestions. Don’t post them here in the comments. Email them to me. For those of you who actually like the character, what scenes in his 19 years of existence do it for you and why? An issue # is helpful, but I mainly want an explanation for why you enjoy the scene for the sake of quoting.

Funny stuff or serious stuff, whatever. It’s all good. Just try to think outside the box a bit. Yes, the “Shoryuken!” and “little yellow boxes” bits are classic, but try to think of something more on the obscure side. Like Bullseye showing up at Wade’s funeral or his final conversation with Cable or that time he heavily considered chopping his dick off because of his amped up healing factor making his replacement limbs stronger.

Also, expect a new We Care a Lot in a couple hours.