The King of Trios Retrospective: Day 2
August 25th, 2012 Posted by GavokThe show starts out, uniquely enough, without a match. As it turns out, there’s a huge blizzard going on and the ring doctor hasn’t arrived yet, so the fans in attendance have to sit on their hands for a while and wait. To warm up the crowd, the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple arrive along with referee Bryce Remsberg, who looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Accompanied by UltraMantis Black and Crossbones, we see that Hydra is wearing a blue bathrobe for some reason and is straining to drag a chair towards the ring. Bryce gives him a hand by easily picking it up.
Upon entry, UltraMantis announces the return of the Hydralock Challenge (occasionally pronounced “hydraulic”). Remember how Chris Masters used to do his Masterlock Challenge in mid-00’s WWE? Hydra’s decided to take it to another level. UltraMantis takes a second to rail at the crowd for being stupid enough to come to a wrestling show in such terrible weather and then has Hydra remove the robe. What a specimen.
The last time they did this bit, they made a teenage girl tap out (or should I say, UltraMantis tickled her and claimed her giggle was a sign of surrender). This time, he wants a challenger with more panache. When he’s about to announce the prize, a fan asks, “A bathrobe?” Angrily, UltraMantis calls him a rapscallion and shows that the winner will get $50,000, as shown in the roll of cash in his hand that he swears is not just a bunch of singles. A handful of fans raise their hands to volunteer, but UltraMantis refuses to acknowledge them. Then Robbie Ellis shows up, poses a little and volunteers to see if he can withstand Hydra’s “unbreakable” full nelson.
My favorite little fan moment in this is when he sits down and flexes, someone in the crowd yells, “He’s bringing sexy back!” and gets a good laugh from some of the others. Hydra does a lot of stalling, but finally secures the Hydralock. In an instant, Ellis taps out. UltraMantis boasts at how unstoppable Hydra is while slipping Ellis the wad of cash behind his back. Ellis smirks for a bit until inspecting the money and seeing that it isn’t the amount they agreed on. Ellis’ partners Mitch Ryder and Larry Sweeney run in, offended at the Neo-Solar Temple for trying to swindle a legend like Ellis. Ryder cuts a promo about respect and then makes a challenge for a pose-down: Sweeney vs. Hydra.
Hydra accepts. To his own theme song, he rubs oil on himself and does some lackluster posing. Then it’s Sweeney’s turn. He turns to referee Bryce and says, “You always walk around with a bottle of oil on you, right?” He does! Oiled up, Sweeney poses to cheers despite being a rudo. UltraMantis insists that it’s a draw and ups the challenge to a 6-way pose-off. The Fabulous Three oblige and flex their guns. Realizing they’re sunk, UltraMantis leads his henchmen to cheese it, declaring, “You planted this audience!”