A couple posts down, Esther asks about what makes Azrael special. What are his selling points? Why should anyone care about the character who took the fall for one of the most infamously disliked stories in Batman’s history?

I’ll tell you why. Because deep down inside, Danny Rand wishes he was Azrael. It’s true! Don’t believe me?

And that right there is what makes Marvel and DC different. In Marvel, it’s the badass, super-rich martial arts master that wants to be Azrael and not the other way around.

Meanwhile, check back here later tonight. Our week is just beginning.

I just got back from vacation and it’s been one shitty day. I had to get up early for my first flight, which was at 7 am. That flight was spent listening to a whining cat that its owner brought aboard. Being that I went from Phoenix to Atlanta, I lost 3 hours. My connecting flight got delayed to hell and I spent about six hours in the airport, waiting. I finished reading every trade I brought with me for the trip (god, why didn’t I read Kaminski’s Iron Man: War Machine sooner?). My iPod batteries were running low. I had lots of time on my hands and I was insanely bored.

This is just my explanation and warning for the following concept.

Right now, Marvel has several superhero teams fighting underground, trying to do right while evading authority. The more apparent of the two are Luke Cage’s Secret Avengers and Nick Fury’s Howling Commandos. So that got me thinking of what it would be like if these two underground hero leader types were to have joined together earlier on.

The following two pages are from The Pulse #9, by Bendis. It takes place as a conclusion to Secret War. Luke Cage was one of several heroes recruited to take part in what became a terrorist act in Latveria, only to be mind-wiped of his experience and attacked a year later for his actions. Here, his pregnant girlfriend Jessica Jones and his partner Iron Fist have him in held up in Night Nurse’s secret hospital as a hologram of Nick Fury sends his final message.

We know how things go from here. But I’m thinking of a tangent reality from this scene. I’m wondering…

What If Nick Fury Founded the Secret Avengers?

Bear with me for a second because this is either really great or really, really stupid.

Before Jessica can go on her tirade, Luke speaks up. This is how Fury responds to Cage being attacked? By running away and saving his own skin? Cage can handle himself, but he’ll be damned if his unborn child is going to be a supervillain target for reasons he can’t even remember. If Fury’s going underground, Cage and Jessica are going with him.

Iron Fist, being loyal to Luke, demands to join too. Fury caves and the four of them go on the run together until this blows over. Since they’re already going off the radar, Luke visits Matt Murdock, whose troubles as Daredevil are getting worse and worse every day. Luke convinces Matt to leave his life behind and join them, as they help people out while staying away from the authorities.

So who are our heroes, again?

Nick Fury. Cigar-chomping (well, not exactly anymore) leader and master strategist.

Luke Cage. Imposing and unnaturally strong black man.

Matt Murdock. Handsome. Persuasive. Sneaky. Always scoring hot women wherever he goes.

Danny Rand. The space cadet, filling in as comic relief. Acts to play off of and regularly annoy Cage.

Jessica Jones. Spirited token female. Former reporter. Doesn’t really do anything.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this:

“In 2004, a crack superhero team was attacked for a crime they didn’t remember committing. These men promptly escaped to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Howling Commandos.”

Come on. Like you wouldn’t read the shit out of that comic.

“I ain’t flyin’ on Danny’s plane! Fool’s crazier than Murdock!”

You know, I was going to detail my San Diego con schedule here in excruciating detail. What panels I was going to (the ones with black people talking, obviously), what parties I got invited to (none, all of you suck), and what I was planning on eating (if SDCC is like E3, the food is expensive and terrible), but then I decided against it. Other sites are going to do it better than I will, and if you’re swift enough to be reading 4l! and going to E3, you’re swift enough to be able to look at a schedule and see what interests you.

Instead, I’m going to post the beginning and the end of The Immortal Iron Fist #16, the official end of the Brubaker/Fraction/Aja era of Iron Fist. They revamped the character, turned him into something viable and interesting for the first time in ages.

the beginning

the end

It’s nice to see a socially conscious superhero, innit?

This one goes out to Cheryl Lynn.

The weekend of chunky guys dressed like Colossus and hot women dressed as Slave Leia has come to an end. I myself had a great time, spent with hermanos from this very site and a whole bunch of guys from Funnybook Babylon. Sadly, Thomas “Wanderer” Wilde deemed himself “too broke” to consider joining us and Hoatzin would have probably involved a gigantic plane ticket paid in rare diamonds, since he’s from Europe. I don’t know. I really have no grasp on how that type of thing works. Besides, Hoatzin seems to have vanished from our planet. What happened to that guy?

This one movie sent the other movie into space.

Day One

Last year I got to New York the day before the con started, which allowed me enough rest and whatnot. This year I had to come in the first day of the event and kill time until David Uzumeri came in from Canada, since he was in charge of dealing with the hotel. I walked straight from the Port Authority bus terminal to the Javits Center, which tired me the hell out.

After getting my swanktastical press pass, I met up with hermanos and Joseph of FBB. They were at a panel starting up that was a screening for a new Will Eisner documentary. Since I was tired from all that walking, I decided to stick around and watch it. I found it interesting in the sense that I honestly didn’t know all that much about Eisner, which is almost a sin if you’re a comic fan. The four of us (David U. showed up towards the end) mostly agreed that while it had some fantastic stuff in there, such as taped conversations between Eisner and guys like Kirby, the sum of it was incredibly dry.

Shortly after, we went to the panel on online journalism, with guys from Newsarama and CBR there. It wasn’t as good as the comic blogging panel from last year and mostly focused on arguing over criticism vs. getting press releases. Once that was done with, I was rested up enough to do some wandering.

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TALKING IRON FIST WITH SWIERCZYNSKI, FRACTION, BRUBAKER AND FOREMAN – NEWSARAMA

Highlights: Misty with a fro, and a “Ten years later” flash forward of a little boy asking Misty how his father died.

I’m sad that Bru/Frac/Aja are leaving, though.

With hermanos becoming the senior editor at PopCultureShock, it was only natural that I’d tag along. Now, as it turns out, the last three days have featured me in some fashion.

For Wednesday, it’s me doing an article for Alternate Current, the weekly thing where a guest blogger writes about whatever. Here, I discuss the five What If comics that came out over the past months, which will be available next month in trade form. Really strong year for those. If you’re by any chance interested in doing an Alternate Current article, contact hermanos.

For Thursday, it’s the very first installment of Comics From the 5th Dimension! That’s right, I now have my own weekly column, where I discuss the stranger corners of the comic universe. Read on as this week I discuss The Adventures of JELL-O Man and Wobbly, a really wacky comic written in part by Peter David and Kurt Busiek. Plus it has a Sonic the Hedgehog preview insert as a bonus mini-review.

Keep in mind that hermanos wrote that front-page headline for it. I saw that and was like, “JELL-O Man was before Bill Cosby? What? No!”

And for Friday, I sit in for another installment of Picks and Pans. Along with four other reviewers, I take a look at a handful of stuff that came out this week. For me, I went with Immortal Iron Fist, Invincible, Wolverine: Origins and Incredible Hercules.

So go and read if you’re up for it and join me every Thursday for another go at Comics From the 5th Dimension. Believe me, I have like a year’s worth of material already.

art from marvel comics’s essential power man and iron fist by dave cockrum and daughters of the dragon by khari evans and christina strain

The two best genres to come out of the ’70s are blaxploitation and kung fu cinema. While blaxploitation was essentially invented by whites, blacks came out in droves to support it. For some reason, blacks embraced both genres. Maybe it was the dope names. Master Killer, Ghostface Killer, Golden Arms, Grandmaster, Five Deadly Venoms… It could’ve been the fighting, or the stories about the underdog fighting against a corrupt regime, or infighting… could’ve been any number of things, really.

The only thing that matters is that both are dope.

Good times.

I used to feel kind of sorry for Iron Fist, despite not having read many of his comics. It’s stupid to feel that way for a fictional character you know little about, but I did. Everyone always thought highly of Luke Cage, but nobody ever cared for Iron Fist. Did Iron Fist get shoved back into center stage by Brian Michael Bendis? Did Iron Fist ever review old Twinkie ads with Doctor Doom and a talking fish? Have you ever heard anyone wax poetic about that awesome comic where Iron Fist beat up Doom? No, not really. All he got was a bunch of jokes about his name and costume, all while being referred to as Power Man’s sidekick.

Even Bendis didn’t seem to give him much love. If you look at Iron Fist’s appearances in Daredevil under Bendis’ pen, it feels as if he writes him out of necessity. In every appearance he makes, he’s standing firmly in Cage’s shadow. All he ever does is help out Cage. He’s the supporting character of a supporting character. Granted, Bendis did give him that awesome scene in the Pulse where Danny got all tense and insinuated that Jessica Jones is a whore. I like Jessica and all, but that was flat out hilarious.

His facial expression after that just says, “Whoa, that may have been a bit over the line… but really.”

It was Bendis’ lax treatment that made Ed Brubaker’s reveal that Danny Rand was filling in for Daredevil one of the all-time best revelations in comics. It worked out so well. It didn’t come out of nowhere, but Iron Fist was so low profile in his background actions that it wasn’t obvious. Then it succeeded to both push Iron Fist out of Luke’s shadow and give him a new lease on life by giving him his own critically acclaimed series and a spot on the Cage-led New Avengers.

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Despite being a millionaire who knows 4,103 ways to kill a man, I feel sorry for Iron Fist around this time of year. Think about it. His partner Luke Cage probably has a stocking the size of a horse’s head. But what about Danny? How many gifts can you possibly fit in a tiny, little, yellow ballet slipper? You can try to prop up a candy cane or two, but they’ll probably fall out of it by morning. And candy canes aren’t even all that good.

To add to the Heroes for Hire/Christmas humor, try to imagine Cage and Iron Fist singing We’re a Couple of Misfits from Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer.

“We’re a couple of misfits!
We’re a couple of misfits!
What’s the matter with misfits?
That’s where we fit in!”

“So why are you a misfit again, Danny?”

“Everybody makes fun of me because my fist glows. And also because of my shoes. And the rest of my costume. And my name. But mainly the costume. You?”

“I’m a misfit because I want to be a dentist.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, well… All right. Not exactly a dentist, you see. I just wanna knock fools’ teeth out.”

“I… uh… Luke, I don’t know if that qualifies you as a misfit. Wait, you are black, right? That should count for something!”

“……”

“What? Why are you cracking your knuckles?”

“Danny, it’s time for your appointment. Let me take a look at your molars… bouncing off the wall.”

Merry Christmas, folks.

I got no content for you today, but I do have this:

Iron Fist is awesome. I just wanted to be part of the magic, is all.

The current incarnation of 4l.net turned two years old back in late November! I forgot to blog about it, though.