Okay, so the last thing Devin Grayson did on Nightwing was have Dick Grayson propose to Barbara Gordon. I think that was a neat twist and kinda cool. Should they be together? I don’t know, but I am curious!

Then OYL hit and the plot was dropped entirely.

Nightwing Annual #2 hit this week and explained why they aren’t together, in addition to showing some scenes from their past. These include, but are not limited to:
1. Dick Grayson showing up six months after Joker shoots Babs, sleeping with her, and then hitting her with an engangement announcement for his wedding to Starfire the very next morning.
2. Babs going to Dick’s college dorm with flowers shortly after he declares his love for her, only to be meet with Starfire answering his door in panties, a t-shirt, and what I assume is Dick’s letterman’s jacket. They speak, Barb leaves in tears and Kory doesn’t think to tell Dick that one of his best friends just dropped by. PS this is followed by the revelation that Kory was Dick’s first sex partner, as revealed by an insufferably smug Babs Gordon who knows Dick Grayson just that well apparently. Barfo!
3. Babs and Dick being stuck in a safe together by Crazy Quilt of all people, leading to a scene where Dick is trying to hide his bat-erection from Batman.
4. Barbara making the executive decision to cancel her engagement to Dick, despite their twoo wuv (he swears to come back to her and she wears the engagement ring on a necklace) because a) he needs to go off with Batman somewhere and b) she feels that he defines himself by his relationship to others and he needs to find himself before he marries her.
5. Barbara Gordon being a thoroughly unlikeable and heartless person.
6. Dick Grayson being a thoroughly unlikeable and heartless person.
7. Some really awkward dialogue, lovey-dovey and otherwise.

Seriously, this was a bad comic. It was competently written, and I actually really dig the art, but it was bad in a “What were you thinking?” sort of way. Sins Past was bad, and artifically aged Gwen & Norman twins are bad, but this is beyond even that. Every single person comes off as horrible or unlikeable or both. Why should I care about these people?

I don’t even really like Nightwing. I read it because I was interested in that plot about the marriage.

This was like if someone asked me “Hey, what’re some things you don’t particularly care to ever see in a comic?” and then put everything I listed in that comic. It’s gross and not good. I mean, cool, heroes have/should have/do have sex and relationships but for some reason Babs talking to Dick Grayson about losing his virginity to Starfire just comes off mad creepy in that weird nerdy sort of way that comics do so well. I’m not even a prude, man. I own the Bomb Queen trade, I am all about some gratuitous nudity and graphic violence. This, though? This is yuck.

The worst thing is that Nightwing Annual #2, like the similarly useless World War III, feels so editorially mandated that you can picture Dan Didio sitting on your shoulder going “This patches that weird sequence from Tales of Nightwing #209, and this bit means that the guy from Adventures of Superman #132 isn’t in continuity any more, and this close-up shows that there was no penetration in Batman #133 so Robin technically didn’t have sex with his girlfriend…”

Seriously DC, stop with Continuity Patch Comix(TM). They aren’t good. We learned that in the ’90s. I almost wish this story had remained untold, because the reason the two didn’t get married is stupid and now both of them look like jerks because of the reason and the dumb-dumb flashbacks.

And if I never read a book with a Bat-erection in it again, it’ll be too soon.

I’ll talk about some good comics tomorrow. Ones that aren’t gross.

From Geoff Johns’s forum:

First things first, I haven’t done any of the fill-ins because, beyond JSoA and GREEN LANTERN, I’ve leaped ahead on ACTION COMICS and am already working on the last half of 2007 and into 2008. Kurt and I are totally in sync and have laid out the plans for 2007 and 2008 and it’s always a pleasure to work with him in the same Superman-verse.

Much like WONDER WOMAN, the last chapter of LAST SON will be in ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #11 later this year when Adam’s finished with it. This, quite frankly, allows us to move ahead and get our work on Action Comics coming out monthly with the stories we want to tell.

Donner and I resume our Action run with Eric Powell’s three issue arc “ESCAPE FROM BIZARRO WORLD” which we’re already working on. I’ve seen the first several pages and Eric is doing fantastic work.

I’ve really been enjoying Action Comics, so it’s nice to see that Last Son will finish and we’ll get some Eric Powell books this year.

However, DC has thoroughly botched two launches through late creators: Action Comics and Wonder Woman.

Last Son was supposed to be six issues long. It was supposed to end this month, or maybe last month. We have seen three parts of it. The bad part is that Last Son was good and supposed to be monthly. I’m sure that the trade will be wonderful.

Wonder Woman is going to have five writers over 13 issues. Allan Heinberg, Will Pfeifer, Jodi Picoult, J. Torres, and Gail Simone. Gail is definitely an improvement, but to be quite honest I don’t know that she’s enough of an improvement. Her latest work has left me kind of unimpressed. I mean, a Barney joke in Gen13? What?

Anyway, this is a textbook example of how to screw up a big-time relaunch.

Small wonder that Marvel is beating the pants off DC in numbers. Eight out of the top ten books are Marvel, with only JLA #6 charting for DC at #6.

Something’s gotta change. DC isn’t working and OYL turned out to be a non-starter.

Comics Should Be Good! » Was it WiR?

Interesting post on the Women in Refrigerators dealie over at Comics Should Be Good!

It’s one of the best posts I’ve seen over there in ages (not that the others have been bad, necessarily), and it kind of highlights how personal perception colors this sort of thing.

In other news– if you aren’t enjoying Iron Fist, get your funometer recalibrated. It’s great.

Fanboy Radio‘s got a live show on right now with Grant Morrison. Your humble correspondent, a true Morrison Whorrison, called in to ask a question and fanboy a bit at Grant Morrison.

News:
Seaguy 2 is on the way and he actually wrote a bit of it today.
Flex Mentallo is Grant Morrison’s Watchmen, in his own words. (In my own words, it is better.)
Wildcats and Authority were victims of 52, that’s why they’re so late. The second issue is written, though.

Give it a listen when the podcast goes up!

I could listen to him talk all day :glomp:

I took part in a brief (16 minutes or so) podcast over at Funnybook Babylon last week, and they posted it on Sunday. From the site:

Here is the FBB Minicast, a new feature on the site. Every Thursday, Gabe Marini and a rotating cast of panelists will take a quick look at important and topical news issues in the funnybook world.

This week, I’m joined by David Uzumeri, columnist at FBB and David Brothers (a guest from The 4th Letter) This week we focus on DC’s various troubles.

A link: Funnybook Babylon » Episode 4.5 – DC Funnybook Drama

You’ll have to pardon the somewhat spotty quality in a few places. We’re still working out a few kinks. Any tips on group podcasting from readers?

More coming this week.

I feel kind of silly making this article since it was supposed to be done months ago. There are several things that kept me from finishing it, but I’m going to take the easy way out. All the time I usually use to write these What If articles was really used to pretend I was writing for Lost. I love writing Sam the Butcher’s dialogue the most.

Starting it off, here’s a series of sig images I made for the Batman’s Shameful Secret sub-forum at Something Awful. I guess they worked.

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I’ve mentioned before that I tend to think of Grant Morrison as a relentless optimist. It’s an admirable trait and it makes his comics kind of a joy to read. The heroes, while not flawless, are heroes still, even when they don’t want to be or do not believe themselves to be.

I’m in the middle of rereading New X-Men. it’s been a while, so it all seems pretty new. I just finished the first hardcover and a couple pages jumped out at me. Well, a lot of pages did, but these are the two I want to talk about. Both are from New X-Men 122.

This is almost self-explanatory and a perfect encapsulation of Morrison’s optimism. The last time the X-Men fought Cassandra Nova, she laid waste to the team. It was only a last minute save by Emma Frost that took her down. Even then, Cassandra won. She jumped into Charles Xavier’s body and switched minds with him. She’s now in the body of the most powerful telepath on the planet. Shortly before Cassandra left Earth to take control of the Shi’ar Empire, she reduced Beast to a wreck and had him beaten nearly to death. Even while she’s been gone, her plans have been in motion. She’s poisoned the X-Men with nano-sentinels and booby-trapped her own body with a number of degenerative diseases.

In short, she’s completely played the entire team and she’s coming back to finish them off. Hank in particular is shaken up by all this because Cassandra tore him down to his basic elements. Jean’s response works to both reinforce Hank and to remind him that the X-Men don’t lose. It’s not even an option. It isn’t on the menu. For every negative that Hank brings up, Jean has an overwhelming positive. Can’t play the guitar? You can learn the drums! You’re afraid? You’re a hero to a kid who needs one. Blocked on creating something? It doesn’t matter. Keep trying. That is hope, and hope will triumph.

Another thing Morrison is big on is being true to yourself. The Invisibles dealt with this quite a bit, with King Mob trying to figure out who he is, Dane embracing the Jack Frost identity, Lord Fanny period, and the climax of Boy’s story arc. He’s got this whole thing about being radiant and true before you face down your big bad. This page is another perfect moment in time.

The Phoenix entity has a long comics history. It’s reached cliche status now, and it usually signals that something terrible is going to happen. Jean Grey could unmake the universe one day due to it… until now. She’s embraced her wings, strange eyes, and brilliant mind. It’s a new era. Hiding who you are in an attempt to fit in is the wrong way to go about things. Repression is wrong.

It’s hinted here that Jean only lost control because she was afraid and ashamed of her powers. Scott suggests that she go back to strict self-control, but what he’s suggesting is really self-limiting. It’s hiding all the things that are you in an attempt to fit in and be safe.

There’s an old saying. “Scared money don’t make money.” If you’re too afraid to take a risk, you aren’t ever going to get anything. Jean has taken a risk and embraced who and what she is and look- she’s better for it. “Do I look like I’m losing control?” She is in complete control of everything now. Herself, her powers, and her confidence.

This is really good stuff that isn’t always immediately apparent. Quitely’s body language says a lot here, too. Scott is hesitant and unsure. Jean? She’s in charge.

When he’s on top of his game, Morrison is one of the best. These two single pages just show a couple of his more enjoyable quirks. Even the end of The Invisibles features a hug and a reminder that good things are coming. “is allnow love,” and so on. He’s all about letting your freak flag fly.

If you’re curious, Geoff Klock has quite an interesting look at the issue here, as part of his ongoing look at the whole of New X-Men. Worth a read. He talks about all the things I don’t in this post.

There’ll probably be more later. NXM is a personal favorite of Morrison’s works, in part because it works with so many characters that I loved and grew up with in new ways. I think that there is a lot to be said about the way that Jean stepped up in the Professor’s absence to play the nurturer and carry the dream, as well. Even though it was Cassandra who left her in charge, she truly is the team leader, at least during the first year of NXM. Interesting, in that it’s usually Cyclops who is in charge, but he’s got so many issues that he is only on-point when he’s in battle. He’s flawless in space, for example, but a bit of a milksop when it comes to relationships.

But, wow, Charles Xavier is only 42 years old?

With a heavy heart, I have to announce that the next installment of Deadshot’s Tophat and Other Beginnings is on hiatus. Nobody is more shocked and outraged about this turn of events than former Intercontinental Champion Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat.

I know, Nikita Koloff. I know. But I have a reason. A very good reason.

You may have noticed that I haven’t been writing too many updates lately. I’ve been using my free time to read through the latest Mick Foley autobiography, Hardcore Diaries. I loved his other two autobiographies, but this one left me sour. About as sour as Mick Foley comes across for most of this book. Interesting wrestling anecdotes take a backseat to stories of Mick meeting B-list celebrities, ragging on the President to the point that it gets real old, and telling countless stories about what a great humanitarian Foley is.

There’s something else I’ve been reading. Readers of the site might remember my acquisition of the first three issues of the Marvel WCW comic at the New York Comic Con. I decided that three issues wasn’t good enough. Not for me and not for you. Fortunately, I came across the entire run on eBay. Unfortunately, it means I own two copies of a comic issue featuring El Gigante. God help me.

I forced myself to read the series and it wasn’t easy. The Malibu Street Fighter comic wasn’t all that bad until the end. The Mortal Kombat comic was honestly pretty good in parts. Even Extreme Justice could keep my attention enough that I’d keep going on to see what could possibly be next. World Championship Wrestling, though, hurt. A lot. Once a friend got wind of what I was reading, he told me, “You could be doing literally anything else and it would be a better use of your time.”

But I can’t let you guys down. Deadshot’s Tophat can wait. I’m finishing up my last What If article (finally), but after that, it’s on. Me and the WCW comic. One-on-one. No holds barred. With hermanos barred from ringside.

Prepared to get Stingersized!

Have you guys read the new Marvel and DC solicits? I love comics, but those things are a bore and a half. It’s like they don’t even want you to read their books.

It’s cool, though. Here are the ones that are new and good and interesting. Jumping-on points only here, with one exception, perhaps. My pithy and vitally important commentary is in italics.

DC Comics is first since Marvel is better!

BATMAN #667
Written by Grant Morrison
Art and cover by J.H. Williams III
The Batmen of All Nations reunite for a weekend of fine food and nostalgia, but an unexpected visitor has other plans for the gathering. Batman, Robin, and the rest of the Club of Heroes find themselves trapped and at the mercy of a dangerous madman on the Island of Mister Mayhew!
This is why I read Grant Morrison. Mad ideas that sound completely goofy. He’s Silver Age with a Modern Age sensibility. Plus, I hope the sweet Knight and Squire from JLA Classified 1-3 shows up.

ROBIN #163
Written by Adam Beechen
Art by Freddie E. Williams II
Cover by Patrick Gleason & Wayne Faucher
It’s Tim Drake’s first Father’s Day as Bruce Wayne’s adopted son, and he wants everything to be just right. Unfortunately, the justice-crazed supervillains known as The Jury pick that very day to go on a murder spree in Gotham City!
This is a great idea for a story. The “family” part of Bat-family doesn’t get looked at often enough. “The Jury,” though, conjures up images of a certain ’90s anti-Venom team.

BATMAN: HARLEY & IVY TP
Written by Paul Dini and Judd Winick
Art by Bruce Timm, Joe Chiodo and others
Cover by Timm
Paul Dini and Bruce Timm -two of the masterminds behind Batman: The Animated Series – join forces in this volume collecting the miniseries BATMAN: HARLEY AND IVY! Also included is the special: HARLEY AND IVY: LOVE ON THE LAM by Judd Winick and Joe Chiodo, plus a newly-colored story rom BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE VOL. 2!
It’s Harley Quinn, so shut up and buy it.
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Too long, didn’t read version: 300 was a pretty rocking movie, but I still like the book better.

Short story long version:
I think that I may have mentioned this here before, but Frank Miller got me back into comics five or so years back. I usually attribute it to the Daredevil Visionaries and Dark Knight Strikes Again, but I’d totally forgotten that I’d read a different Frank Miller book a year or two before I’d read those.

This would’ve been back when I was in Madrid. Me, my mom, and little brother were at Hipercor, Supercor, or whatever the crap our local grocer was called. I was in the arts & crafts/books section (it was kind of jumbled) and I saw a book there. It looked familiar, and I realized it was by the Sin City guy! I probably begged Mom to buy it for me so I could read it.

It was the Norma Editorial edition of 300 and it was completely in Spanish.

That book is probably why I still remember so much Spanish nowadays. I’ve easily read that book a dozen, maybe a couple dozen, times. More than any other comic I own. I now own it in English and Spanish, but I remember all the good lines in Spanish. “Stumblios” is “Storpios,” “Barely a year ago” is “Hace apenas un año,” that sort of thing.

I’m just trying to set the stage here. I’m a big fan of the book, and though I haven’t read it in a while, I’ve read it enough that I basically have a lot of it memorized, which probably colored my opinion of this movie.

I’ll sling this behind a cut, since there’ll probably be some (fairly light) spoilers.
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