I’ve discussed comics based on video games before. Many of them aren’t very good. There are exceptions to the rule out there, like the UDON Street Fighter series. That is, if you can get past the horrid delays and the lack of anything of importance happening in most issues. The Darkstalkers comic wouldn’t have been all that bad had it lasted more than six issues and actually went somewhere.

The subject today is Marvel Nemesis: The Imperfects, based on the similarly named videogame Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects. This review is going to be a little different, as I’m going to try and lead you through the process of me reading this series. The experience of reading these issues when they came out is worlds different than if I were to be reading them for the first time now.

The news first hit that Electronic Arts would be releasing a Marvel fighting game. The place-holder of a name “Marvel vs. EA” was the popular term for this new project and immediately, we were lambasted with awful joke after awful joke. As a comedic writer, something that annoys me is when somebody makes an obvious joke that half of the hemisphere had already made and acts like they’re a comedic genius. The kind of people who make jokes about Mr. Fantastic stretching his wang. Anyway, for months on end, everybody chimed in with the same played out “Spider-Man vs. Madden” or “Wolverine vs. Gandalf” punchline. It was really sad.

Over time, details about the game, such as the actual title, were announced. The first footage of the game featured Spider-Man, Wolverine, the Thing and two EA-created characters Johnny Ohm and Brigade. Artist Jae Lee had a major role in the art direction of the game and made the character select images. He would also draw the cover art for the comic miniseries. Mark Millar was brought in for character designs and backstories. The creative team for the six-issue miniseries would be writer Greg Pak and artist Renato Arlem. I was unfamiliar with Pak at the time, so I had no idea that this was a really good thing. Renato’s art style shares similarities with Jae Lee’s style, so that’s also a big plus.

The cover features a foreground shot of the story’s villain, Niles Van Roekel. Behind him are Spider-Man, Wolverine, Elektra and Thing, all infected with some kind of green goop nastiness. Thing is what it looks like when you chew Fruity Pebbles and then open your mouth and stick out your tongue.

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“I think the thing to do is produce the best material you can, and on a regular basis, so that your readers know you can produce on a deadline, no matter what. Yabs showed editors, I was told, that I could hit a new idea each week, in a different ‘voice,’ and maintain a certain level of quality. A ton of editors read it each week, and a bunch offered me a shot. All of which I turned down, but that’s another story!”

— Gail Simone giving advice to Gavok

The other day I started cleaning my place, trying desperately to sort my DVDs, games and comics for the first time in about a year. There’s a chair where I toss stuff I had just bought that had gotten so ridiculously cluttered that I discovered barely-read magazines from months back.

Having finally sorted out all my comic trades, it was shocking how many of them remain unread. Some don’t really count because they’re collections of stuff I’ve already read as issues, like All-Star Superman and the first two volumes of 52. The real deal stuff I stacked into one big pile, guarded by an unbeatable team.

Gentlemen… BEHOLD!

The Sentry has the power of a million exploding suns, which is why everything is so glossy. Really. That’s why. Shut up.

I work at a bookstore and when I get paid, I use the option of having my check cashed on the spot. When that happens, I get high on my cash and want to spend immediately. This leads to too many comics and that neglected stack above. By admitting my problem, I hope I can finally push myself into making this stack lighter.

Here’s the what’s what of my far-too-tall tower. What are the books? Why did I buy them in the first place? If I bought them, why the hell haven’t I read any of them? We’ll start from the top and go down.

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Superhero vs. superhero. Over the past couple years, it’s almost become the new status quo in the Marvel Universe and still gets a good amount of play in DC here and there. Whether it’s hatred, misunderstanding, bureaucracy or mind-control, it’s everywhere. With things like Daredevil vs. Punisher, Civil War, World War Hulk and pretty much any inter-dimensional crossover like Marvel vs. DC, JLA/Avengers and Captain Atom: Armageddon there are many miniseries based on the simple idea of our favorite heroes duking it out with each other.

It makes sense. There’s a certain feeling of bragging rights and uncertainty that comes from these fights. If there’s a story about Superman fighting Parasite, then there isn’t much mystery. We know Superman is going to come out the winner because Superman is our heroic protagonist. But toss him in against another heroic protagonist like Captain Marvel, Martian Manhunter or Green Lantern (on a good day) and we don’t know what to expect.

Originally conceived as an Olympic tie-in until the US pulled out of the Moscow Olympics, the Contest of Champions was not only the first hero-on-hero miniseries, but it was the first big crossover miniseries. This is the comic that would set the trend for Crisis on Infinite Earths and Secret Wars. It was only three issues and normal-sized, but I’m sure at the time it seemed really epic. Even now, I’d say the first issue had that feeling. I can only imagine what it would be like back in the 80’s to see all these superheroes together in the same room.

The writing credits go to Mark Gruenwald, Bill Mantlo and Steven Grant with Romita Jr. doing the art. So it’s got that going for it.

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I’ve been thinking about a few things and you cool cats get to reap the benefits.

Damsel in distress/lost family stories. They form the basis of characters like Punisher, and are common in Spider-Man, Batman, and Daredevil stories. They’re part of a “You Touched My Stuff” trend that’s understandably bothersome. They tend to reduce the damsels, or families, to things that are possessed by the hero– my wife, my son, my family.

All that is true, but I’m having trouble letting go of them. It’s an easy story, but one that never fails to get me. It’s a suspense builder. It’s an easy way to get that “Oh, snap!” reaction. It gets that because it’s an easy pop. Of course the hero is going to fight harder when his family is in danger, who wouldn’t?

I’m not all about them, don’t get me wrong. But, if a story comes up featuring a character I know and a writer I enjoy, I’m much more likely to give it a chance than I would if it was some no-name character.

There were two that have gone down in comics relatively recently that come to mind. Punisher: Man of Stone featured something like a damsel in distress, and Daredevil’s most recent arc features a traditional one. I’m going to spoil both of them, mind you, but they’ve been out for a while so I guess that’s okay.

I kind of wish I could put my resolution right here, above the fold, but it kind of flows better if it’s at the end. Read it if you’re interested in seeing where I’m going, hey?
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I took a long break from these babies to do the Wrestlecrap articles, but now I’m back with quite a collection of characters. Some are a bit topical, too.

CROSSBONES

Captain America #360 (1989)

The story of the issue is part of an arc called the Bloodstone Hunt. It involves Captain America and Diamondback taking on Baron Zemo, Batroc, Zaron and Machete over some gem. That part isn’t really important.

Though I will say that Diamondback’s appearance is sort of off-putting here. Her outfit is pink spandex with a series of black diamonds over her front and back. Considering she’s in the water for most of the comic, she hangs around some people in bathing suits, and the way the pink is colored here, it looks like she’s wearing a black thong that doesn’t cover her chest. That’s all well and good, but her costume is torn in places, so now it looks like she has some nasty-ass skin disease.

Anyhow, she and Cap get away with the prize. As they leave, we see that they’re being watched.

Crossbones is so cool.

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Not that Carnage.

Before I get into it, though, I’ve got half of an idea in my head. Boxing, the NBA, and the NFL are mostly black (except for quarterbacks :doom:). What if you had a series of superteams, like say one in each of the 50 states, that were run like a sports team? Try outs, scandals, all stars, cocky all-stars fresh out of high school… There’s something there, but I can’t quite grab it yet. Any Given Sunday in a comic book universe.

First is Tom Foss‘s five questions:
1. You’re given the keys to the Marvel Universe, and your only order is to take one “What If” storyline from the entirety of the series and make it canon, along with whatever alterations occur to the universe as a result. Which story do you choose?

Geez. I’d probably pick Gavok’s #1, What If Iron Man Sold Out. It was an awesome story, one of the few What Ifs I owned as a kid, and had great art. It hit all my buttons– it was set just pre-apocalypse, semi-fascist, and had heroes coming back to be true heroes.

Actually, yeah, that’s it for sure. What If Spider-Man Kept the Power Cosmic was another great one, but it kind of takes my favorite superhero out of the runnings for further stories, so no dice. What If the Avengers Lost Operation Galactic Storm was great and I’d like to see that one. It was practically Annihilation III in terms of scope.

2. Who watches the Watchers?

The police. Peeping tom perverts always get theirs.

3. What five Marvel characters do you think are most likely to actually be Skrulls?

Sentry’s wife, the secret masters behind SHIELD, the secret masters behind HYDRA, and I don’t know. I haven’t really given specific Skrulls much thought. I’ll have to post my theory on why Nick Fury went underground, though.

4. Who are your top three, back-of-the-OHOTMU, favorite guilty pleasure Marvel characters?
1. Jubilee (who remains the only character I have a continuity nerd story pitch for)
2. Darkhawk
3. Terror, Inc.

Ugh, I was so impressionable as a kid.

5. Which Avengers base is/was the best?

I couldn’t pick if I tried! I only recently became an Avengers fan. So… I figure Stark/Sentry Tower? I don’t know. The mansion is just kinda blah.

Spencer Carnage is up next.
– I have to post these rules before I start.
– I have to tell you eight facts about myself.
– I have to tag eight people to participate.
– I’m supposed to leave a comment telling them they’re tagged and to read my blog.
– And the tagees need to write their own blog post, telling us eight things and posting the rules.

Ugh, eight things. Okay. Deep breath and
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But, you know what? They really ain’t that bad, either! Onward!

It’s those kids. That’s what’s different. He’s got sidekicks. Maybe if I get a couple of punk kids. Picked ’em up off the street and taught them what I know. Mothboy or Lepidoptera Lad or…
–Killer Moth, Batgirl: Year One

You reading any good comics right now? What’s that? You’re reading comics you don’t like? Pfft and *smh*. Read good comics, okay? Treat the problem, not the symptom.

Good Desktops

Playing with a new format today. First up, some desktops. I can’t promise that these are properly formatted, but they are a few of the 221 desktops in my DocumentsDesktops folder so they’re appropriate. Two are related, the others are just cool. We’ve got art from Marcos Martin, Michael Lark, Darwyn Cooke, and Talent Caldwell.

These desktops are Good.

Good Comics

These comics are good.
Mighty Skullboy Army (by Jacob Chabot)
I was sent this one by a buddy who knows the author, so I guess this is my first comp copy of a comic! Sweet! Of course, I received the book in Aprilish, so this is way late and I’ve got no excuse really! Sorry Kevin.

And what a comic it is! Did anyone out there ever watch Dexter’s Lab? I used to love it dearly. Mighty Skullboy Army reminds me a lot of Dexter’s Lab, not in content, but in tone. It’s got that same kind of slick sense of humor that both kids and adults can appreciate. The art is very sharp, too. It’s very cartoony, but a lot of fun to look at. The scenes involving the monkey are, in my ever so humble opinion, some of the best in the book.

MSA is, essentially, about a young supervillain (Skullboy) who is in way over his head. You see, he’s a young fella… and he’s got to go to school. You can’t very well conquer the city, nay, the world, from a school desk. He’s got a few assistants in the form of a monkey, a robot, and an intern. One problem: they’re all imbeciles and/or too flighty.

Mighty Skullboy Army is whimsical, but in a good way. It’s a respite from the super serious, or faux serious, stuff I usually read. I hate to invoke the name of the almighty Calvin & Hobbes, which is the Greatest Newspaper Strip of All Time To Which There Are No Contenders, but it is fun like C&H is fun. If you like good comics, MSA is up your alley.

Batgirl: Year One (words by Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty, art by Marcos Martin and Alvaro Lopez)
I got my copy for 17.99, it’s 19.99 on Amazon pre-discount. Weird.
Anyway, DC was, at one point, running the Year One concept into the ground. Hard. They whooshed hard on what Year One stories should be and pumped out some pap. And then, Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty come along and get it right, not once, but twice. Robin Year One, which I believe was drawn by Javier Pulido, and Batgirl: Year One, by Marcos Martin/Alvaro Lopez, hearken back to the noir asthetic of Batman Year One in art.

Batgirl: Year One isn’t quite perfect. Dixon and Beatty seem to love tossing in little knowing nods to DC continuity, including a few too many references to Cassandra the Oracle, and a scene where someone tells Batgirl that heroes tend to end up crippled and stuff like that. It ends up being too cute by half and distracting.

On the other hand, the art and overall story are nearly flawless. It tells the tale of a young Barbara Gordon, a young lady who has just begun to pull on the tights. There are a lot of little character touches that are great. Babs Gordon is short for her age, thin, and not particularly chesty (cf. her current portrayal which is a bit busty and statuesque, ugh). She’s headstrong, impetuous, and very teenaged. She makes a lot of dumb decisions, despite being very smart. It’s practically a Marvel story, to be honest. Babs is flawed, and her flaw is her pride. She’s got to prove she’s better than everyone else expects her to be.

I just kind of realized that Babs Gordon, as written in Batgirl: Year One, is a slightly more responsible version of Veronica Mars. No wonder I like this book so much! Not to mention that it isn’t afraid to be silly.

More tomorrow. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things!

What’re your perfect comics? I’ve got a few. Kraven’s Last Hunt. Flex Mentallo. Daredevil Born Again.

The two most recent (and I referred to these previously as nigh-perfect, but they got an upgrade) are Jacen Burrows and Garth Ennis’s 303 and Matt Fraction and Gabriel Ba’s Casanova. They’re both just tightly packed, written, and drawn slices of excellence. Everything about them clicks and they’re both easy reads.

Those are perfect books. On a smaller scale, there are perfect pages.

These are the pages that give you the stupid grin that comics should. They can be full of import and absolutely serious or completely irreverent. Spider-Man’s “I’ll kill you,” after being told that Norman Osborn is going to kill Normie. “The rain on my chest is a baptism” from Dark Knight Returns, along with the mutant fight in the mud.

Little slices of perfection.

Here’s a few of my recent favorites. Two from 303 #03, one from Punisher War Journal #6, and the page from Casanova #1 that sold me on the series. Words by Garth Ennis on the first two and Fraction on the last two. Art by Jacen Burrows (303), Ariel Olivetti (Punisher WJ), and Gabriel Ba (Casanova).

Two soldiers talking about rifles (I particularly love the line about the difference between NATO weapons the AK-47), one soldier marching off into destiny, Frank Castle’s righteous indignation (“We gotta steal a car. I’m going to Mexico and I’m gonna shoot that guy in the face.”), and Casanova Quinn being both irreverent and awesome (“I don’t know– I have weird brain things. Maybe it would work different for you.”)

Good comics.

Let me go ahead and get this out of the way. Gail Simone on Wonder Woman got the same reaction from me that J. Torres doing a fill-in on WW did. None.

I haven’t liked her last year and a half of work or so. Villains United was okay, but I didn’t even finish Secret Six. BoP started off great (that first year or two was stellar), too, but even that feels like it fell off. Gen13 and All-New Atom? No thanks. I don’t know, I think that my tastes are changing or something, but her work just doesn’t click with me like it used to. No slight to her, or at least I hope not, it just ain’t my thing.

It got me thinking, though. Who could get me to read Wonder Woman? I came up with two names who I think would be pretty dope on the book, and both of them are even female-type people!

Louise Simonson and Ann Nocenti.

C’mon, don’t even say you wouldn’t read that.

Weezie deserves it. X-Factor, New Mutants, Man of Steel… Steel. She’s paid her dues ten times over. I shouldn’t even need to explain this one. She’s apparently written a WW novel, but I haven’t read it. I think she’d be pretty awesome on the book.

Ann Nocenti wrote some of my favorite Daredevil stories, did a Batman/Poison Ivy book a few years back with John Paul Leon (I think, it may have been John van Fleet?) that was pretty solid. I will love her forever for creating Typhoid Mary, the best she-villain that isn’t named Harley Quinn. (I really, really like Typhoid Mary and Harley.) I think that Nocenti could do a pretty bomb off-kilter WW book and deliver a book that would defy more than a few expectations. Dante’s Inferno ala Diana Prince. Or even something real world and political, she’s good at both kinds.

I may not be excited for Gail on WW, but either of these two would make me jump for joy. Shoot, Weezie is the reason why I’m going to be reading Marvel’s Mystic Arcana when I don’t even really like two of the four characters involved (Scarlet Witch and Black Knight. Magik is generally better as a kid, and Sister Grimm has a dumb codename but is pretty cool.).

Anyway, yeah. Give me Weezie and Ann. I think that they’d be worth it.

Also, c’mon Marvel, reprint this thing already.

I feel kind of silly making this article since it was supposed to be done months ago. There are several things that kept me from finishing it, but I’m going to take the easy way out. All the time I usually use to write these What If articles was really used to pretend I was writing for Lost. I love writing Sam the Butcher’s dialogue the most.

Starting it off, here’s a series of sig images I made for the Batman’s Shameful Secret sub-forum at Something Awful. I guess they worked.

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