Welp. Thirty more to go. Let’s do this!

30) Submissive Blind Al
Deadpool #15-17 (1998)
Writer: Joe Kelly

Deadpool’s relationship with Blind Al is completely weird, but it goes from being wacky on the outside to disturbing on the inside. Despite being Deadpool’s prisoner and a victim of plenty of abuse, we see the Wade/Al dynamic as little more than slapstick. It’s shown to be so cartoony that we aren’t even supposed to care that Deadpool – for whatever impaired reason – has an old woman held in his house against her will.

The seriousness doesn’t truly show itself until Deadpool’s breakdown, which as some of you can figure, is going to be popping up later on the list. The short of it is that Deadpool did some horrible stuff to Blind Al and we got a better scope of the dark history of their relationship. After a couple issues, Deadpool gets over what he’s done and tries to sweep it under the rug, much like he handles many of his mistakes, but Blind Al won’t let him.

Deadpool comes home from his latest meeting with LL&L, high off of his good guy potential, only to find that Al has cooked and cleaned. She closes the door to her room, saying nothing more than, “Good night… master.” Deadpool remembers how much of a tool he’s been.

He tries what he can to get a rise out of her and maybe get her to joke around like they used to, but all she does is act completely submissive to everything he says. She acts like his servant and refers to him as the master and herself as the prisoner. He knows he has to apologize, but like the Fonz, he just can’t bring himself to saying he was wrong.

Jayce Russel also loved this whole bit.

The entire situation with Blind Al is just full of awesome bits, but issue #17, the scene that starts with, “Will you shut up and talk back to me already?!,” and the two pages that follow of Blind Al beginning her elaborate plan to attack Deadpool with kindness kills my ass. The neatly hung Deadpool outfits, the alphabetized ammunition, the grating way she drops “master” in constantly, they’re all the slap in the face that Pool spent the whole series working his way towards. I honestly might prefer Al to DP, and this is one of those moments that explain it. The way an old blind lady gets under the skin of one of the world’s best mercenaries is well-written, amusing and, maybe most of all, kinda tugs at the heart. She obviously thinks somewhat fondly of Deadpool, or she’d not bother with trying to save him, and watching him stubbornly trudge past all hope for redemption until almost the bitter end? Now that’s a motherfucker.

When Deadpool receives Montgomery’s predictions on the future, he’s seemingly inspired to do the right thing. Al hears Deadpool hammering on a wall and finds that he’s been boarding up the Box – the room he’d use to torture Al – and that he genuinely is sorry for what he’s put her through lately. She snaps out of her ruse and embraces him, saying that this is a good start towards forgiveness. Deadpool tries to grant her freedom from this life he’s forced her into, but he’s cut off when Ajax teleports him away.

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Is it me or is Jason Todd acting like the main killer/monster from scary movies? 

Let’s review the narrative of most of the Battle For The Cowl themed issues he’s appeared in.

A character is isolated from the main group.

The character feels fine, and is going through a routine activity when . . . they get tense.

Oh no!  Crisis!  What will happen to this character? 

Wait, wait, no.  We thought that was the main scare, but the crisis is quickly averted.  Things are okay again – until . . .

OMG!  LOOK BEHIND YOU, CHARACTER!

Jason Todd suddenly lurches out of the darkness and kills the hell out of the character!  The other characters obviously are troubled and scared by this, but that doesn’t stop them from breaking off from the main group in their turn.

I’m hoping they change Gotham’s name to Camp Crystal Lake.  Also, get Jason a hockey mask.

Eh. I couldn’t resist.

40) Siryn Stays
Deadpool #5 (1997)
Writer: Joe Kelly

Deadpool’s healing factor has been on the fritz, and he’s offered help from a strange source in Dr. Killbrew. Killbrew is the sadistic scientist who tortured Wade and gave him his powers in the first place, but now he’s a guilt-ridden old man who wants to make things right. Deadpool really wants to tear him apart, but two things are stopping him. One, the cure for his ailing healing factor and two, Siryn is in his company for the adventure.

After a run-in with the Hulk, Deadpool has a blood sample that’s able to pump him back up to working condition. Behind Siryn’s back, he tries to murder Killbrew. Killbrew is only slightly reluctant, but accepts that he deserves this. Before Deadpool can end it for him, Siryn breaks the door down with her voice. She’s furious at Deadpool and stands in front of Killbrew to protect him.

The two argue back and forth, with Deadpool continuingly demanding Siryn leaves the room so he can do this. She flat out refuses, making him freak out. He doesn’t want to show this part of himself in front of her, but he’s being given no choice. Siryn demands to see proof that Deadpool’s inner animal wins out over the good man she knows he can be and lets it slip that she’s known for a while that Deadpool’s been creepily watching over her when she sleeps and feels safe because of it. She promises she’ll be there for him, allowing Deadpool to feel mercy for once in his life. He tells Killbrew to get the hell out of there ASAP and to thank Siryn for being able to keep his pulse.

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Like most groups, comics professionals have their own animosities, scandals, and fights.  Although I do enjoy gossip and I do scan for the occasional juicy interview, I try to steer clear of most of it, at least in comics.

Often a story is entirely made up by a fan on a message board.  When it isn’t, reading about who hates who and why rarely leaves me feeling good.   The old saying goes, ‘If you love a book, never meet the author.’

There are several reasons for that.  One is, more often than not, you look like a big dork.  (Not that I would know anything about that.  I definitely didn’t approach Gail Simone once at a Con and forget all words over one syllable.  Seriously.  “I was . . .  glad . . . that you said . . . that . . . that time . . . to that guy . . . ’cause he made me feel . . . . . . . . . . bad.”  Oh, kill me now, comics gods, kill me now.)

More permanently scarring (If that’s possible.) are the things that you can find out about creators you love.  This can lead to you spending hours in the store thinking things like, “I like this book, but I disagree with the writer’s views on the war in Iraq, and he was kind of snarky about that artist I like.  Also, I heard the penciller bought a humvee, and that’s bad for the planet.  Should I support this?”

Yes, I am exaggerating.  For instance, what comics artist can afford a humvee?  (Okay, maybe Loeb.)  But it’s so much easier just to enjoy the story on the shelf, and remain blissfully ignorant about the sometimes problematic stories that go on behind the scenes.

Do you read gossip?  Trade it?  If so, has any particular piece (You don’t have to mention what.) turned you off a creator (Or who.  You don’t have to mention who.)?

I’m looking forward to Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray, and Amanda Conner’s Power Girl. I dig Graymiotti’s work when they get a chance to tear things up in their own corner of things without worrying about whatever greater status quo there is. Their Jonah Hex is one of my top three books coming out of DC/Vertigo, easy. Over at Marvel, they did the sublime Daughters Of The Dragon and the very enjoyable Wolverine/Black Cat: Claws a few years back.

The latter two books are pretty cheesecake, but fun. Gray and Palmiotti give their main characters (Colleen Wing and Misty Knight in one, Wolverine and Black Cat in another) a lot of personality and manage to come up with some pretty funny funnybooks, without veering into outright comedy quip-a-minute Deadpool antics. The art helps a lot, too. The pair have an eye for talent, nine times out of ten, and Khari Evans/Joseph Michael Linsner are pretty great collaborators.

I’m looking forward to Power Girl because adding Amanda Conner into the mix is just icing on the cake. Other than being Palmiotti’s wife, she’s also an amazingly good cartoonist. Her comics look like Janelle Monae’s music sounds— just full of fun and eagerness and personality. They’re like the bit at the end of ’80s teen movies where Ferris Bueller has won, the loser got the girl, and everyone is dancing. They’re happy. And yeah, they’re a little bit sexy, too. Conner draws cute people doing neat things. That’s probably why she’s on the book in the first place.

If you put out a book that’s just Amanda Conner, Philip Bond, and Cameron Stewart trading pages on art, well, you’d have a hit. Doesn’t even matter what it is, I don’t think. I’d read what they draw regardless. Not liking Amanda Conner is like not liking air, only worse.

DC’s blog “The Source” (no benzino) recently posted two new variant covers for Power Girl #3 and #4 by Guillem March, artist of the upcoming Gotham City Sirens. March is a pretty good artist, but not really my thing. These covers, though, are emblematic of my main problem with more than a few books in DC’s line right now.

Based on one of the comments in an earlier article, I should probably mention that despite Deadpool being awesome in other forms of media (some of them, at least), I’m only counting comic book stuff for this countdown.

Sorry, no inclusions of the time in Ultimate Alliance where he talks to Weasel about the time he stabbed him in the leg for taking the last cheese puff. Or the conversation where he tries to convince Black Bolt to say “spatula”.

This also means no inclusions of animated Deadpool shooting Hulk and Wolverine with a crapload of tranquilizer darts before saying, “Hey, Logan! It’s me, Deadpool! I shot youuuuu!” Which is a shame in of itself because Hulk vs. Wolverine is such a brilliant depiction of the mouthed merc.

50) Rock ‘n’ Roll!
Identity Disc #2 (2004)
Writer: Rob Rodi

For those who haven’t heard of it, Identity Disc is a miniseries from a few years back that is essentially what happened when a writer decided to take The Usual Suspects and rewrite it with six supervillains. Five of the villains are interesting characters and help sell the series, but the other one sucks and is somehow the main character. Hint: I’m talking about Vulture.

Deadpool is part of this group in search for the Identity Disc, which has the identities of every superhero. In one scene, he hangs out with Bullseye, waiting to strike a facility and steal a skeleton key device. The two talk about what the Kaiser Soze knockoff of a villain has on them to make them play ball. For Deadpool, he’ll get information on where his ex-wife is. I don’t even think they meant Mercedes from the Kelly run, which makes it more of a continuity clusterfuck. For Bullseye, he’s tried working both sides of a gang war and it’s blown up in his face. If he does his job here, the slate will be wiped clean.

Finally, it hits nightfall and after all that waiting, they can finally get to business. Bullseye says, “Time to rock ‘n’ roll,” as the two sneak around the building. After all the lead-up, all that happens is Bulleye knocks a security guard out by flicking a piece of gravel onto his forehead and then finds the safe and gets the prize. Deadpool is angry over the complete lack of action and the fact that he wasn’t even needed to begin with.

To make up for it…

And there it is. The only scene from Identity Disc you’ll see on the list.

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Holy… I can’t believe I never noticed that line before. That’s awesome!

And now, the countdown.

60) Zombie Double-Cross
Deadpool (v.2) #4-5 (2009)
Writer: Daniel Way

Deadpool is unfortunately running into an annoying habit of his writers doing the same story again and again. Between the story in question, the Game$ of Death one-shot and the current Suicide Kings miniseries (all within a couple months of each other), Deadpool has been tossed into stories where he’s hired to do a job for a million dollars, only it’s all one big set-up. Come on, guys. Mix it up every once and a while.

That said, I really dug the end of the first recent story to do this. As part of the new series by Daniel Way, Deadpool is hired to rescue a rich former mercenary’s wife from a corrupt plastic surgeon Dr. Lovosno and his faction of zombies. As it turns out, Deadpool himself is payment from the rich guy, as the zombies can feed off of him forever. In theory. In actuality, Deadpool takes horrible to cannibal types, so that idea’s in the crapper. He sets up a way for Lovosno’s zombies to feed on the traitorous merc and his henchmen, only he backstabs the zombies too by slipping out and blowing up the entire area.

Lovosno’s head lands near Deadpool, whining about how Wade betrayed them all.

“Duh!”

Maybe I just find something really funny about kicking disembodied heads that can still talk. Like in Waterboy.

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Some people say that the comics industry runs on legacy characters.  Kyle replaced Hal as Green Lantern, and was re-replaced.  Connor Hawke had a long run as Green Arrow before DC resurrected his father and nudged him out of the title.  Now even Barry is back.

I’m wondering if there is much of a chance for new characters these days, especially new characters in old roles.  They already have to battle fan backlash.  The people most invested in any particular character are going to be the most critical of the guy who pushes their beloved hero aside.  There is also the difficulty of a shrinking industry.  How do we keep comics going at all, let alone make room for more characters?

Mostly, though, I think the structure of comics has changed.  Way back when, comics used to deliver tales that were somewhat predictable.  That’s not to say that the individual stories were lacking in imagination or ingenuity.  It just means that the characters operated in a stable universe.  They were always heroes, they always had a certain code of ethics, and their battles were episodic instead of part of ongoing revelatory stories.

Now thing have changed.  Event books are in.  Big dramatic upsets are what sell.  Whether you think this change is good or bad depends entirely on your tastes, but it means things are less predictable.

The big heroes, and to some extent their first sidekicks, built up a decades-long base of stability.  We had time to get used to them, and to get to know them.  They made their mark on the universe they lived in.  Amid the constant upheaval of the modern comics universe, it’s easy for new characters to get lost in the shuffle.

(I should probably first mention RIP Bea Arthur because… well, you know. It’s on-topic)

Wade Wilson. Deadpool. The Merc with a Mouth. The Deathstroke the Terminator knockoff. Cable’s reluctant sidekick. The would-be mutant. The febrile-minded man who has to deal with outrageous moral quandaries. The man who shot Liberty Valance. The… you get the point. These days are pretty lucrative for the yellow-bubbled anti-hero of Marvel. The character, who as of this writing has been around for 19 years, has gone through many twist and turns in his fictional existence. Enough that I can write up 70 of his best moments. Why 70? Because it’s a week-long series and ten per day is a round enough number on its own.

First appearing in New Mutants #98, created by the team of Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, Deadpool would follow the cast as the series became X-Force. There, his character, though with attempts at humor, was mostly pretty bland. His appearances usually involved him talking about how great the mysterious Mr. Tolliver was paying him followed by Wade beating the crap out of his girlfriend Copycat. So yeah, not very fun.

Then he got his own miniseries. It wasn’t all that great, though the ending showed that he wasn’t a total piece of shit. Then he got another miniseries and it was better. Then he finally got his own on-going series, which had a great run by Joe Kelly. Once he left, it went for about two and a half years of different writers that made the whole thing seem like a big step down. Luckily, prior to being cancelled at #69, Deadpool’s final issues were a huge breath of fresh air and put some life back into the character… except for the fact that they killed him off.

But then his Japanese Ben Reilly self got an on-going series, which ruled until the original creative team was kicked off. Then it eventually turned lousy and got itself cancelled. Thankfully, Marvel brought the original team back for three issues to both explain the mystery of the main character’s identity and bring Deadpool back from the dead. Hurray!

From there, Deadpool shared a comic with his blood enemy Cable. In a series that played the two off of each other brilliantly, it went on for a respectable run. Unfortunately, Cable joined the X-Men at one point and the series, though still very readable, had jumped the shark. Even worse, Cable “died”, thus making it all about just Deadpool again and robbing the magic of what made the series fun. But hey, 50 issues isn’t bad.

After a memorable stint in Wolverine Origins, Deadpool has returned to form in yet another solo series. Plus a recent one-shot. And a new miniseries. And a role in Messiah War. And a spot in the animated movie Hulk vs. Wolverine. And a Thunderbolts crossover. And a SECOND on-going series coming up in a few months.

Oh, and Ryan Reynolds is playing Wade Wilson in a movie that’s coming out, but apparently has little to do with what made people like the character in the first place. Like Movie Deadpool’s lack of mouth for one.

Now, then. Let’s get this countdown underway.

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The more I think about it, the less I have to say.

100 Bullets is really a series that speaks for itself. The craft and love that went into it shows on every page. You’ve got a ton of fully-realized characters, a mega-arc that gives up amazing chances for discussion and speculation, and a concept that could go on forever.

The main reason why I just did five days straight of images is because I know that fans of the series, those who stuck with it and came out on top, are gonna get it. You see “Jungle or zoo?” and know what it says about Jack’s life. You can look at a single panel of Remi Rome and see his try-hard swagger. You see “Pun. First syllable a PUN-ish-ment,” and think back to how Loop went from a boy to a man, and ended up smarter than anyone else expected.

The thing about being a comics reader is that you come to expect a certain kind of storytelling. X-Men, Superman, Green Lantern, Spider-Man, all of those feature characters, but aren’t really about the characters. They are corporate icons, mascots, and on some kid’s underwear. They can’t change too much, so all of the bang of the characters has to come from action. It’s Frank Castle putting on some superhero gear, holding a gun, and saying something out of an action movie. It’s Hal Jordan once again proving that he’s the prettiest princess on the block by overcoming everything and everyone. And, at the end of the issue, everything is back to normal.

100 Bullets is a story about the characters. It’s money shots aren’t all tied up in explosions, headshots, and fist fights. Those are there, of course, and they are good, but the real bang comes from the characters. It’s Wylie and Dizzy reminiscing over lost loves together, the look in a man’s eyes as he sees his brother for the last time, or the quiet respect that everyone has for Mr. Hughes. It’s the quiet goodbye a man gives to his family before he goes off to do some dirty work, and a peck on the forehead that tells you all you need to know about him and his viewpoint on life.

The Trust, the attache, the mega-arc, all of that is wonderful, but for me, the real joy in 100 Bullets is about the characters. It’s about how they bounce off one another and figuring out what they’re thinking. It’s about who, not what.

I discovered 100 Bullets shortly after I got back into comics, and month-in, month-out, it has been heads and shoulders above every other comic that I’ve read. The weakest issues or arcs are only weak by the high standard set by the others. Risso, Azz, and Mulvihill blew me away for six years straight, and have me looking at other comics now with a jaded eye.

Blackest Night and Dark Reign are boring to me. After the deep-seated menace of Lono and his inability to tell right from wrong, Norman Osborn’s Snidely Whiplash antics are cheap and hollow. After reading about Remi Rome being the most cocksure, try-hard, desperate to please young kid on the block, Hal Jordan is a caricature of somebody’s grandpa’s idea of a superhero.

I can’t take all these stories about how Soandso Lass and Generigal are strong female characters and wonderful and et cetera, because they aren’t. They’re stupid, hollow, and empty. The black characters, too. Luke Cage leads the Avengers now? De-evolve, thug, crawl back in the ocean. Loop and Curtis Hughes, Dizzy Cordova, and Megan Dietrich are characters that you can appreciate without having to go, “Well, they’re great, except for…”

You want your strong, fully realized, and respectful characters of whatever race, creed, or sexuality? 100 Bullets has your black dudes, latinas, old white dudes, Russians, whatever.

That’s where 100 Bullets wins. Even with all of the insane acrobatics, intrigues, and unkillable villains, 100 Bullets is real. It gives you characters who you can believe in, characters who seem like people you could actually know, and put them into situations that only make them more interesting. It’s a book that challenges you with its story and forces you to care about the people you’re reading about.

I had six years of glimpses in on these characters that I’ve grown to love. Its quiet moments are just as loud as the bits where someone is being murdered. I’m going to miss it.