As inspired by a post on Higher Voltage, I present to you: World War Hulk, the Vastly Abridged Version Where Things Actually Do Change Somehow.
(Honestly, at this point, the best thing for the Marvel Universe would probably be the Hulk killing off half of their established cast to thin the herd, but there’s a goddamn Iron Man movie coming out, so that can’t happen…)
Hi. I still exist. I’ve just not been comics-oriented for weeks on end.
In the meantime, my Internet buddy Christopher Bird, known far and wide for his rewritten Photoshops of Civil War, is trying a new campaign: “Christopher Bird Should Write Legion of Super-Heroes.”
I’m not a Legion fan, but those of you who are might get a kick out of this.
I have a proposal.
For the Internet.
I would like to see this term enter common usage in the near future:
Winick, v. To unnecessarily and gratuituously kill a dozen or more completely innocent bystanders as a plot device. Man, New X-Men Winicks all over the place this issue.
I want to see if this catches on. If so, maybe we’ll verb more nouns. (I think “Hudlining” is when you have a bunch of black people in the background of the scene commenting at random. I don’t even want to think about what Claremonting is.) It promises to entertain!
I was talking with dub, or hermanos, or 4thletter, or David, or Janet, or Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty, and the topic of Warren Ellis came up in the conversation.
I’ve seen a lot of people just this week talk about Ellis’s work as “cynical,” to the point where it seems to be the word you use to describe him. It’s an overused adjective used to discuss the body of his work.
The thing is that I don’t think that’s accurate, and I never have. Talking to dub, I figured out why.
For dramatic overthinking of funnybook swearing, read on after the cut:
Civil War is really fucking stupid.
I think I could fix it.
Let’s see if you agree.
Over at Girls Read Comics Too, Karen Healy takes Joss Whedon to task for the current Hellfire Club arc in Astonishing X-Men:
I’m kind of annoyed by the new Batwoman, and honestly, it isn’t her fault. Having a lesbian superheroine running around the Bat-branded corner of the DCU isn’t a big deal, although I suspect it’s going to lead to some pretty laughable stories unless Greg Rucka writes them.
What gets me about it is, simply, that whole “sneaking minorities in” aspect that’s running around both of the big two comic book companies. The new Atom’s Asian; the new Batwoman’s a lesbian; the new Blue Beetle’s Hispanic; and so on, and so forth. It seems less like expanding the broad tapestry of racial whatevers and more like blatant tokenism, allowing minorities to join the party but only if they emulate white heroes.
I suppose it’s sort of misguidedly good, because at least they’re there, but it’s always seemed condescending to me somehow. Is it just me?
Ha Ha I Am Blogging About Bad Comic Books
Let’s talk for a moment, you and me, about things I hate.
I hate Venom, for example. I’ve never been able to stand that schmuck, ever since the Spider-Man books turned into the Venom Show back in the ’90s. I hate Howard Mackie for being the embryonic stage of Chuck Austen… and I hate Chuck Austen, because all right-thinking people do. I hate Scott Lobdell, Frank Quitely’s pudgy Play-Doh people, and any book that Ashley Wood drew…
…but most of all, I hate licensed comics that’re written by somebody who hasn’t even touched the source material. I really hate it when I’m familiar–or in this case, scarily familiar–with that source material.
That means I hate the Resident Evil comic books.
Call the neighbors and lock up the kids, folks. It’s time for a bunch of pointless fanboy bitching.
