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New Ultimate Edit Week 5: Day Two

February 25th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

Yesterday started up the new week with a flashback where Thor and Loki kind of stumble upon a bunch of slaughtered dead guys like it’s just another day. Thor is still going all kill-happy and our heroes have no idea what to do.

Thanks to ManiacClown, who is the master of translating 80’s pop music into Thorspeak. We’ll be back tomorrow as the heavyweight fight continues. Then it becomes a triple threat.

Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

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New Ultimate Edit Week 5: Day One

February 24th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

Welcome to the final week of Ultimate Edit. Boy, it’s been some ride, eh? It’s been just over three years with fifteen issues to its name, but it’s about time to bury it. I guess we were already “burying” it, but– you know what I mean.

So to sum up. A bunch of former D-list heroes have been amped up as villains and fight the Ultimates before being forgotten about completely. Then Loki and Enchantress come to Earth with a big troll army and wrecked stuff for a bit. Enchantress magically coaxes some of the female Ultimates to help them out and capture the staple members of the team. That way, the lesser good guys could look important by rescuing the heroes worth a damn. Valkyrie breaks free from the spell and gets herself killed by Loki, but then Thor shows up and goes on a rampage. He targets everyone and Loki’s all, “Haha! All part of the plan, beyotch!”

And now, the rest of the story…

Thanks to ManiacClown who wanted Loki and Thor to discuss how Hela looks like the ladies in mommy’s lingerie scrolls. We’ll be back tomorrow with some of those other characters nobody cares about. Don’t worry, they’ll be gone by the end of the week.

Day Two!
Day Three!
Day Four!
Day Five!
Day Six!
Day Seven!

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This Week in Panels: Week 74

February 20th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

This installment is bordering on lateness and with good reason. I’m exhausted and busy as hell this week due to some crazy work scheduling and other real life factors. That explains why the promised New Ultimate Edit Week 5 is pushed back a week. Don’t worry, it’s most certainly on its way. During all this madness, I forgot to get around to reading the latest SHIELD, so consider that one missing from the list.

This time around I’m helped by David Brothers and Was Taters.

Amazing Spider-Man #654.1
Dan Slott and Humberto Ramos

Avengers Academy #9
Christos Gage and Mike McKone

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4 Elements: Uncanny X-Force #5

February 19th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

The Deadpoolsplosion is dying down and most others would say, “It’s about damn time.” Merc with a Mouth is long gone, Team-Up and Deadpool Corps are about to bite the dust and Deadpool MAX has been turned from an ongoing to a limited series. To compound my sadness, writer of the core series Daniel Way has lost his razzle dazzle and doesn’t appear certain of what he even wants to write. Still, that’s a ton of Deadpool in the last three years, not even counting the various guest appearances, miniseries and specials that have gone to his name.

And yet, despite all of that, it’s a scene in a team comic where he only appears for four pages that speaks to me as his best and truest moment of the Deadpoolsplosion. It comes in Uncanny X-Force #5, written by Rick Remender and drawn by Esad Ribic.

I always thought Deadpool would work better in a team setting. Years ago, people suggested that Peter David put Deadpool in X-Factor, mostly for the sake of being in a comic with Siryn again and I agreed with it. I didn’t think that Deadpool would drive up the wackiness level of the comic, but that the comic would ground Deadpool just a little bit more. He’s spent so much time playing off himself that there doesn’t seem to be much development left for him. That’s why Daniel Way’s written the same “Deadpool wants to be a hero” plotline that Joe Kelly and Fabian Nicieza have written before, only to write himself into a corner and make him purely a mercenary again.

X-Force is the perfect team for Deadpool. Naturally, you have a rich guy who will pay him to keep with Deadpool’s mercenary motivation. The team, especially with Deadpool, acts as a tribute to the dearly departed Cable. Then there’s Deadpool’s comedic and at times pitiful dream to be recognized as a member of the X-Men. I don’t know if they planned it, but Way’s recent storyline where Deadpool momentarily joins the X-Men and sacrifices his own reputation to make them look better works as a perfect prelude/explanation for what he’s doing here.

For those not up to date, the first four issues of Uncanny X-Force have featured the team of Wolverine, Archangel, Psylocke, Fantomex and Deadpool going to the moon in order to kill the recently-resurrected Apocalypse. While the X-Men members do this for the sake of saving mutantkind the headache of a fully-realized Apocalypse attack, Fantomex and Deadpool openly tell each other that they’re only there for the money.

The big twist is that Apocalypse isn’t like how we know him. He’s only a child, yet to grow up. His followers have been brainwashing him to be their leader, even though he doesn’t want to kill the weak. It’s a fantastic, action-packed story arc that ends with the team cornering the young Apocalypse and arguing over whether or not they should kill him. Wolverine decides that they’ll take him in and raise him right, since he’s only a kid. Arguments and scuffles ensue, only to be silenced when Fantomex coldly shoots the boy in the head. During all of this, Deadpool has been physically unable to speak, so we don’t know his take on this situation. He’s not the only one silent as the ride back to Earth is filled with awkward wordlessness.

That brings us to the issue at hand. Specifically, this scene.

There are four reasons this scene rings true to me.

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A Look at the Marvel vs. Capcom 3 Promotional Comic

February 17th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

Tuesday gave us the long-awaited videogame sequel Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds and you bet your ass I picked it up. Not only that, but I picked up the special edition. In addition to the game, the package includes a tin case, free access to the downloadable characters Jill Valentine and Shuma Gorath, free Marvel Unlimited for a month and a booklet that features lots of sweet art and a prologue comic.

Now, I know what a lot of you are saying.

“Who gives a shit about a fighting game’s story, let alone a stupid crossover story like this?”

Me. That’s who. I love fighting game storylines… at least until the 4th or 5th game when they run out of ideas and go through the motions. I love cheesy crossovers. I guess I just love plots where the basic idea is, “Here are a bunch of interesting individuals out to beat each other up. There can be only one winner. Who’s it going to be?” I guess this is part of why I love the Royal Rumble so much.

I was going to scan the 12-page Frank Tieri/Kevin Sharpe comic, but that would be too easy. I thought it would be better for everyone to simply transcribe it for all of you who picked up the regular copy of the game. So it back and enjoy Fate of Two Worlds.

SCENE 1
(Zombie-filled laboratory)

Jill Valentine: Wesker has to be here somewhere. Boy, we really have our work cut out for us.
Chris Redfield: You said it. All sorts of zombie types here. Oh, crap! It’s an Executioner boss!
Jill: We don’t have enough ammo for this!
Chris: Why the hell not?! We haven’t shot our guns once yet! We’ve just pointed our guns at zombies and acted like it was good enough! But you’re right about us being screwed. We’re going to need a miracle here.
(a green hand appears through a portal, grabs the Executioner by the hood and slams his face into the wall repeatedly)
Hulk: HULK SMASH ENDBOSS!
Jill: That green monster just saved us.
Chris: You’re right. LET’S GET HIM!

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A Chaotic Attitude: The 90’s WWF Comics

February 14th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

It’s no surprise to me that Chaos Comics would release a set of WWF comics back in the late 90’s and early 00’s. That era was like a golden age for professional wrestling and WWF was really running with the ball in order to become the #1 game in town. It was a cultural phenomenon at a level that we may never see again. Unlike the days of Hulk Hogan wearing the red and yellow, it wasn’t just one man’s popularity holding up the company. Even the midcard guys would get wild responses from the crowd for doing nothing more than walking out and saying the same thing verbatim again and again followed by performing a horrible match (I’m looking at you, Road Dogg and Godfather). WWF had a ton of personality to play with, so as bad as any wrestling comic tends to turn out, playing with the properties during the Attitude Era made sense.

The Undertaker is the only one to get his own ongoing series, which I’ve already covered in a twoparter. Other than him, we got one-shots for Mankind, the Rock, two one-shots for Chyna and a four-issue miniseries for Stone Cold Steve Austin. At least with Undertaker, it doesn’t make you bat an eye as much because he’s an undead demon cowboy with an ill-defined backstory. How do you do a comic about Chyna, let alone two?

I’ll start with the Rock’s one-shot, as I might as well bookend this with the two top guys and the Bookend is another name for the Rock Bottom anyway. See? All ties together. Like all of these non-Undertaker stories, it’s written by Steven Grant. On art for this one, we have Fabiano Neves. For the non-wrestling fans out there, I guess I should say some stuff about who the Rock is… or was. What I’m saying is—

Okay, okay! Even that guy on the left looks like he knows I walked into that one.

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This Week in Panels: Week 73

February 13th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

“HEY, EVERYBODY!”

Louie!

“WHO’S GOT SOMETHIN’ FOR ME?!”

I do!

“WHAT IS IT?!”

A bunch of panels from comics that that me, David Brothers, Was Taters, Space Jawa and David Uzumeri read this week!

“…eh, what the hell. I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!”

Amazing Spider-Man #654
Dan Slott, Paulo Siqueira, Ronan Cliquet de Oliveira and others

Batgirl #18
Bryan Q. Miller and Dustin Nguyen

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This Week in Panels: Week 72

February 6th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

Blah blah, new week of panels. Listen, I just lost a lot of money and some very shady people may or may not be coming to do some unfortunate things to my fingers, so I have to make this quick. Just me this time around, flying solo.

Azrael #17
David Hine and Cliff Richards

Daken: Dark Wolverine #5
Daniel Way, Marjorie Liu and Giuseppe Camuncoli

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This Week in Panels: Week 71

January 30th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

Back from watching the biggest, sexiest Royal Rumble, it’s now time for me to post a bunch of panels before passing out. Lots and lots of help from David, Was Taters, Space Jawa and VersasoVantare. Let’s get to it!

Action Comics #897
Paul Cornell and Pete Woods

Avengers #9
Brian Michael Bendis and John Romita Jr.

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Wetting Your Whistle for the Royal Rumble

January 30th, 2011 Posted by Gavok

Tonight is the 2011 Royal Rumble, which has some meaning to me as the 91 Rumble twenty years ago was my first wrestling PPV after having started following it. Since I’ve talked the Royal Rumble to death here, I thought I’d just post something to pass the time for those getting ready for the show to begin. From the end of 1991, this is a 20-man battle royal taking place in England. Not only is it decently booked, but it’s got a pretty good roster of names in it.

– Animal
– The Barbarian
– Big Boss Man
– “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
– Earthquake
– Ric Flair
– Hawk
– Hercules
– Marty Jannetty
– Brian Knobbs
– Shawn Michaels
– The Mountie
– “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
– Paul Roma
– Jerry Sags
– Tito Santana
– “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith
– Typhoon
– The Undertaker
– “The Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich

Well, a good roster other than Paul Roma. Enjoy.

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